# Shagnasty and the Worst Anecdote in SDMB History **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 17, 2005, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shagnasty-and-the-worst-anecdote-in-sdmb-history/290468 "2005-02-17T02:49:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 19
**Author:** ![Debaser](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3da27b/32.png) [@Debaser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Debaser)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2005, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shagnasty-and-the-worst-anecdote-in-sdmb-history/290468/361 "2005-02-25T14:46:45Z")
Do you feel the love? - I sure do. [/VH1] ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2023, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shagnasty-and-the-worst-anecdote-in-sdmb-history/290468/362 "2023-05-27T12:31:27Z")
Ginormous bump: > **[Dear Prudence Uncensored: Help! I Set up a Co-Worker and a Friend on a Blind...](https://slate.com/human-interest/2023/05/dear-prudence-uncensored-dairy-disorder.html)** > > "If you really like a person, you’ll let it go." > [@](#): > > My friend has been bewildered by her difficulty in finding a steady relationship, so I pressed him as to why. He told me they went to a swanky bar, and she—wait for it—ordered a plain glass of milk. He found this so clueless and childish that he couldn’t imagine being with her. The letter isn’t word-for-word the same as @Shagnasty’s stupid story, but it’s so similar, I wonder what the hell’s going on here. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2023, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shagnasty-and-the-worst-anecdote-in-sdmb-history/290468/363 "2023-05-27T13:32:48Z")
Maybe Dear Prudence was struggling for a topic, did a search and uncovered Shagnasty’s anecdote. Anyway, Archie Goodwin often enjoyed a glass of milk in the Nero Wolfe novels (though perhaps not while out on the town), and he came off as quite the sophisticate, as well as enjoying noteworthy female companionship. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2023, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shagnasty-and-the-worst-anecdote-in-sdmb-history/290468/364 "2023-05-27T13:58:35Z")
And if one does accept the premise, just what is a non-drinker supposed to do, at a social event in a bar? There are many reasons why a person might be a non-drinker, but in most of them, just drinking anyway would not be a casual or easy decision. Is the faux pas in ordering a non-alcoholic beverage, or just in ordering some specific non-alcoholic beverage such as milk? Are there sophisticated non-alcoholic beverages? What are they? ---
**Author:** ![DPRK](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4491bb/32.png) [@DPRK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DPRK)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2023, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shagnasty-and-the-worst-anecdote-in-sdmb-history/290468/365 "2023-05-27T14:10:13Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Are there sophisticated non-alcoholic beverages? What are they? Lime-and-soda :-p ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2023, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shagnasty-and-the-worst-anecdote-in-sdmb-history/290468/366 "2023-05-27T14:19:58Z")
The link in the OP no longer works. What was the topic of the original thread where Shagnasty posted his anecdote? ---
**Author:** ![Mikkel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mikkel/32/13151_2.png) [@Mikkel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mikkel)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2023, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shagnasty-and-the-worst-anecdote-in-sdmb-history/290468/367 "2023-05-27T14:26:23Z")
Here: > [@Food Nazis Jess, calm kiwi, yosemite and even sven ... front and center](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-nazis-jess-calm-kiwi-yosemite-and-even-sven-front-and-center/290021/495): > > Here is one for you. This is 100% true. My wife’s friend since childhood, Suzie was out of a job and very depressed that she hadn’t had a date in over a year. My wife helped her by giving her a job at the booth at the Fancy Food show in NYC one summer. For some reason, one of my wife’s customers became fascinated with her at the show. He was an attractive, 35 year old man, and a multi-millionaire that established his own dessert manufacturing company that suplies restaurants all over the U.S. H… ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2023, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shagnasty-and-the-worst-anecdote-in-sdmb-history/290468/368 "2023-05-27T14:37:36Z")
The trick to ordering a glass of milk in a swanky restaurant is to ask for something like Chilean mountain goat milk, and when they don’t have that say “Well then I guess I’ll just take whatever you have.” ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2023, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shagnasty-and-the-worst-anecdote-in-sdmb-history/290468/369 "2023-05-27T15:05:15Z")
It’s a constant annoyance being a non-drinker who isn’t an alcoholic. I always have to give my little speech on a first date about how I have never had an alcohol problem, I just don’t like it. Now if I were invited to a bar, I’d tell the them that I am happy to join them and then give them my speech. Maybe then they’d choose somewhere different. ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2023, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shagnasty-and-the-worst-anecdote-in-sdmb-history/290468/370 "2023-05-27T15:12:31Z")
I’m just here because I wanted to see … 18 years later… Carry on with whatever it is this is all about. ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2023, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shagnasty-and-the-worst-anecdote-in-sdmb-history/290468/371 "2023-05-27T15:13:36Z")
> [@hajario](#): > > It’s a constant annoyance being a non-drinker who isn’t an alcoholic. Now, I’m trying to wrap my head around a non-drinker who **IS** an alcoholic. What does that even look like? ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2023, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shagnasty-and-the-worst-anecdote-in-sdmb-history/290468/372 "2023-05-27T15:16:52Z")
Alcoholics who are in recovery don’t drink. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2023, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shagnasty-and-the-worst-anecdote-in-sdmb-history/290468/373 "2023-05-27T15:17:47Z")
In other words an alcoholic that is on the wagon. My Uncle was this way. He went 30+ years once he stopped. My BIL on the other hand should never go to a bar, he use to fall off the wagon in a light breeze. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2023, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shagnasty-and-the-worst-anecdote-in-sdmb-history/290468/374 "2023-05-27T16:10:48Z")
The other week, I saw an article (which I can’t find now) about how some bartenders have developed “sophisticated” non-alcoholic cocktails, sometimes called mocktails. They’re just as ridiculously complicated as real cocktails and also cost twenty bucks or more. So perhaps one option is for the non-drinker to figure out which one of these they might like. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2023, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shagnasty-and-the-worst-anecdote-in-sdmb-history/290468/375 "2023-05-27T16:15:47Z")
A ginger ale was always the goto for a designated driver or non-drinker. I guess that is no longer true. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2023, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shagnasty-and-the-worst-anecdote-in-sdmb-history/290468/376 "2023-05-27T16:16:31Z")
I’ve had those a couple of times and they were quite good but I have no interest in faking it just to fit in. People (not you) who want to judge me because anything alcoholic tastes terrible to me and I happen not to enjoy the effects of that particular drug can fuck off. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2023, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shagnasty-and-the-worst-anecdote-in-sdmb-history/290468/377 "2023-05-27T16:17:27Z")
You could also arrange with the bartender to serve you milk, but to call it “Korova Plus”, while explaining to your date that it’s your favorite beverage [when out with your droogs](https://a-clockwork-orange.fandom.com/wiki/Korova_Milkbar). ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2023, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shagnasty-and-the-worst-anecdote-in-sdmb-history/290468/378 "2023-05-27T16:34:01Z")
> [@Euphonious\_Polemic](#): > > I’m just here because I wanted to see > > … 18 years later… Ironically, this thread is almost old enough to drink. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2023, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shagnasty-and-the-worst-anecdote-in-sdmb-history/290468/379 "2023-05-27T16:42:30Z")
> [@hajario](#): > > I’ve had those a couple of times and they were quite good but I have no interest in faking it just to fit in. People (not you) who want to judge me because anything alcoholic tastes terrible to me and I happen not to enjoy the effects of that particular drug can fuck off. I don’t really drink either (except for a small glass of wine with friends) but there is a certain amount of theatricality and showmanship in crafting those ridiculous cocktails and some non-drinkers want to be involved. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2023, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shagnasty-and-the-worst-anecdote-in-sdmb-history/290468/380 "2023-05-27T17:18:35Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Are there sophisticated non-alcoholic beverages? What are they? Sarsaparilla. Unless you’re in one of those really tough bars. Then you order a large glass of gin, served with a human hair in it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shagnasty-and-the-worst-anecdote-in-sdmb-history/290468.md?page=18) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shagnasty-and-the-worst-anecdote-in-sdmb-history/290468.md?page=20)