# Shagnasty and the Worst Anecdote in SDMB History **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 17, 2005, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shagnasty-and-the-worst-anecdote-in-sdmb-history/290468 "2005-02-17T02:49:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Jaade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/dfb087/32.png) [@Jaade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaade)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2005, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shagnasty-and-the-worst-anecdote-in-sdmb-history/290468/21 "2005-02-17T04:04:35Z")
> [@roger thornhill](#): > > My mother tells the following story about her passage to the Mother Country from New Zealand way back when. Invited to drinks with the ship’s captain, she is asked what she’d like by a waiter: “Milk”, says the ingénue. “Me too”, says the perfect gent of a ship’s captain. That’s awesome! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![pmwgreen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@pmwgreen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pmwgreen)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2005, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shagnasty-and-the-worst-anecdote-in-sdmb-history/290468/22 "2005-02-17T04:08:16Z")
I don’t get this at all. Was **shag** along on this date? Or are we hearing what the girl, or what the “customer” reported? Because I can’t see either second hand retelling as being credible. Even the first has a few problems, like what happened when our witness was gone off to the loo and the customer tells the woman how milk has always turned him on and why… I’m drifting… ---
**Author:** ![pasunejen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/58956e/32.png) [@pasunejen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pasunejen)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2005, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shagnasty-and-the-worst-anecdote-in-sdmb-history/290468/23 "2005-02-17T04:11:30Z")
> [@neuroman](#): > > C’mon, she ordered **milk** in a bar. That’s just no good. At least order a club soda, or water even. Yeah, she could have chosen something less out of the ordinary, but it’s still not like it should be _that_ big an obstacle. **pmwgreen** , you’re probably onto something. ---
**Author:** ![Jaade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/dfb087/32.png) [@Jaade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaade)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2005, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shagnasty-and-the-worst-anecdote-in-sdmb-history/290468/24 "2005-02-17T04:13:02Z")
> [@furt](#): > > Dunno **Jaade**. I find it hard to take seriously anyone who spends much time debunking the arguments of people he calls “the foodies.” > > Is that how low we’ve sunk? What’s next, heated debates about whether we call them “Delawarians” or “Delawarites?” No wait, I don’t think you get it. The people in the thread are calling themselves foodies. It’s apparently meant as a compliment, not as an insult. Unless _I’m_ misunderstanding your post. (which is entirely possible because I’m tired and should be sleeping instead of posting) ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2005, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shagnasty-and-the-worst-anecdote-in-sdmb-history/290468/25 "2005-02-17T04:14:20Z")
I don’t get it. What do people who dress like retards, display ignorance regarding anything cultural or flout social conventions expect? That people will pat them on the back and congradulate them for being such “individuals”? Look, having a knowledge of wines makes someone sophisticated (and I mean real knowledge…not just knowing the difference between a Merlot and a Pinot Grigio), having a taste for ethnic foods makes someone more sophisticated. Having some taste in the clothes you wear makes you sophisticated. Going to a wine bar and ordering milk makes you look like unsophisticated. Making jokes that sushi reminds you of “bait” makes you sound like a simpleton. Wearing a fanny pack and a big white T-shirt in Manhattan makes you look like a retard. That’s just how it is. And the guy was definitely NOT a jerk. If he wants to date a woman who enjoys wine, why the hell should he continue dating someone who does not share his interests? Should he have to swallow her lack of refinement any more than she should swallow a glass of wine? ---
**Author:** ![furt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/439d5e/32.png) [@furt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furt)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2005, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shagnasty-and-the-worst-anecdote-in-sdmb-history/290468/26 "2005-02-17T04:16:20Z")
> [@Jaade](#): > > No wait, I don’t think you get it. The people in the thread are calling themselves foodies. It’s apparently meant as a compliment, not as an insult. Who is more absurd, the man who wants to argue about whether blue is a morally superior color than red, or the man who insists on the contrary position? ---
**Author:** ![Binarydrone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@Binarydrone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Binarydrone)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2005, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shagnasty-and-the-worst-anecdote-in-sdmb-history/290468/27 "2005-02-17T04:17:55Z")
> [@furt](#): > > Who is more absurd, the man who wants to argue about whether blue is a morally superior color than red, or the man who insists on the contrary position? I thought that we were done talking about the election. ---
**Author:** ![pasunejen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/58956e/32.png) [@pasunejen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pasunejen)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2005, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shagnasty-and-the-worst-anecdote-in-sdmb-history/290468/28 "2005-02-17T04:18:04Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > Look, having a knowledge of wines makes someone sophisticated (and I mean real knowledge…not just knowing the difference between a Merlot and a Pinot Grigio), having a taste for ethnic foods makes someone more sophisticated. Having some taste in the clothes you wear makes you sophisticated. Okay, so we know what may be considered sophisticated by a certain breed of snob. The real question is why the fuck anybody should care. I’m not saying the guy doesn’t have the right to not date somebody just because she doesn’t like wine, but unless there was some other reason (and I’m betting there was, which makes the original anecdote pointless anyway), I personally think it’s kind of lame. _shrug_ ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2005, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shagnasty-and-the-worst-anecdote-in-sdmb-history/290468/29 "2005-02-17T04:18:10Z")
> [@furt](#): > > Who is more absurd, the man who wants to argue about whether blue is a morally superior color than red, or the man who insists on the contrary position? The “foodies” have described themselves that way. Apparently a “foodie” is to food what a “Trekkie” is to _Star Trek_. They’re hardcore into different types of food, all kinds of fancy-schmancy cooking and whatnot. ---
**Author:** ![roger\_thornhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@roger\_thornhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roger_thornhill)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2005, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shagnasty-and-the-worst-anecdote-in-sdmb-history/290468/30 "2005-02-17T04:18:47Z")
> [@Jaade](#): > > That’s awesome! 😃 My mother has a fund of unbelievable stories with which she beguiles new acquaintances. Shortly after moving to London, where she started going out with a millionaire who ended up as Lord Mayor as London - actually, he was also in the milk business, now that I come to think of it, Chairman of “Express Dairies” - she took a teaching job in the East End of London (of course!), where they all speak like Dick van Dyke in _Mary Poppins_. Mum’s doing what would now be called an ice-breaking activity with the class - of 55, naturally, several of whom were “jumping in and out of the windows” - and espies a map of the world on the peeling walls. “Now, children, as you can see, Great Britain and New Zealand are the same size, but whereas in Britain you have 45 million people, in New Zealand we only have 2.” “What?” shoots back an urchin from the back of the class. “Just you and your mum?” ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2005, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shagnasty-and-the-worst-anecdote-in-sdmb-history/290468/31 "2005-02-17T04:21:42Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > Look, having a knowledge of wines makes someone sophisticated (and I mean real knowledge…not just knowing the difference between a Merlot and a Pinot Grigio), having a taste for ethnic foods makes someone more sophisticated. Having some taste in the clothes you wear makes you sophisticated. > > Going to a wine bar and ordering milk makes you look like unsophisticated. Making jokes that sushi reminds you of “bait” makes you sound like a simpleton. Wearing a fanny pack and a big white T-shirt in Manhattan makes you look like a retard. But it’s not the _only_ sign of sophistication. She doesn’t drink wine, sure. But maybe she paints. Maybe she enjoys the opera. Maybe she speaks five different languages. There are a hundred thousand _other_ ways to be sophisticated than drinking wine. **Shagnasty** and his millionaire friend are apparently basing their entire judgement of this woman off of _one thing_. That’s the very definition of shallow. > [@](#): > > And the guy was definitely NOT a jerk. If he wants to date a woman who enjoys wine, why the hell should he continue dating someone who does not share his interests? Should he have to swallow her lack of refinement any more than she should swallow a glass of wine? If his _only_ interest is wine, he’s got bigger problems than unsophisticated dinner dates. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2005, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shagnasty-and-the-worst-anecdote-in-sdmb-history/290468/32 "2005-02-17T04:27:05Z")
Sounds like the young lady in question dodged a bullet when she made the “mistake” of showing her true colors by daring to…drink milk! I didn’t know this was such a grotesque faux pas. Maybe I spent too long living in Wisconsin. Too bad for her the guy didn’t show _his_ true colors sooner, then she’d have been spared even the one trip to Le Bar du Snob with a shallow, arrogant, judgemental jerk. The whole thing makes me all the more glad that I don’t drink. (Which is _despite_ spending too long living in Wisconsin!) ---
**Author:** ![Uzi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/91b2a8/32.png) [@Uzi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uzi)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2005, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shagnasty-and-the-worst-anecdote-in-sdmb-history/290468/33 "2005-02-17T04:29:39Z")
> [@Queen Tonya](#): > > Nah, but if you’re suddenly in **Eve** -movie territory and Cary Grant or Deborah Kerr invites you into swankville, you’re not quite hanging with your pals, eh? Well, I acknowledge your point. As I hate milk, too, I would have ordered something like ginger ale and told the waiter, “Put it in a snooty glass like he ‘as. Oh, and can you put on of dem lil’ umbrella like thingies in it, too? Thanks, Toots”. 😉 I think the bigger question is why a person needs to feel sophisticated or wants to act that way? What is the rational? ---
**Author:** ![neutron\_star](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/51bf81/32.png) [@neutron\_star](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neutron_star)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2005, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shagnasty-and-the-worst-anecdote-in-sdmb-history/290468/34 "2005-02-17T04:36:27Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > I don’t get it. What do people who dress like retards, display ignorance regarding anything cultural or flout social conventions expect? That people will judge them by their actual personality instead of consulting a list of superficial bullshit to see if they qualify for friendship? ---
**Author:** ![Athena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/35a633/32.png) [@Athena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Athena)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2005, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shagnasty-and-the-worst-anecdote-in-sdmb-history/290468/35 "2005-02-17T04:43:12Z")
I can see why the guy would decide not to continue the relationship after this happened. We’re not talking friends, or coworkers, or any other sort of minor relationship - we’re talking a possible mate for life. Given that, it’s perfectly acceptable to have certain expectations about behavior. That she didn’t drink alcohol or didn’t like wine is of little consequence. The important bit here is that she didn’t know how to act in a fancy restaurant. You simply don’t order milk in a 5 star restaurant as an after dinner drink, any more than you would, for example, eat with your fingers, wear sweat pants and a T-shirt, or talk so loudly that half the restaurant could hear you. Plenty of people would probably be OK with this. But this guy wasn’t. He didn’t want to teach someone how to behave in the social situations he found himself in, he wanted someone who already knew the drill. There’s nothing wrong with looking for a mate with similiar interests. If you’re a foodie (and I’m almost cringe at using that term after the other thread), you probably want a mate who thinks of food as something other than bare sustenance. If you’re an avid outdoorsperson, chances are you want a mate who also likes to bike and hike and whatever else you do. If you don’t drink alcohol and equate it with your alcoholic father who beat you when he drank, chances are you’re not going to want to date a person who wants wine with dinner every night. Nothing is wrong with that, and I don’t see anything wrong with the guy deciding, early in the relationship, that their differences were too vast to overcome. Now, if he was a jerk about it or rude, that’s something else. But just saying “OK, I’m not interested in someone who so obviously has a different mindset than me” is no big deal. ---
**Author:** ![Black\_Train\_Song](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4da419/32.png) [@Black\_Train\_Song](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Black_Train_Song)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2005, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shagnasty-and-the-worst-anecdote-in-sdmb-history/290468/36 "2005-02-17T04:48:05Z")
What if she had ordered Cheerios instead of lobster? ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2005, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shagnasty-and-the-worst-anecdote-in-sdmb-history/290468/37 "2005-02-17T04:52:17Z")
So tell me, what does one order at a bar if one doesn’t drink alcohol? ---
**Author:** ![yBeayf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/e274bd/32.png) [@yBeayf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yBeayf)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2005, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shagnasty-and-the-worst-anecdote-in-sdmb-history/290468/38 "2005-02-17T04:53:00Z")
> [@](#): > > What if she had ordered Cheerios instead of lobster? That would kick ass. I would love someday to go into a super-duper fancy $500 a head 3-star French restaurant and order some fucking Cheerios. It would even be worth being chased out of the restaurant by the chef wielding a cleaver. ---
**Author:** ![yBeayf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/e274bd/32.png) [@yBeayf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yBeayf)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2005, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shagnasty-and-the-worst-anecdote-in-sdmb-history/290468/39 "2005-02-17T04:54:46Z")
> [@](#): > > So tell me, what does one order at a bar if one doesn’t drink alcohol? A grape Nehi. Haven’t you ever watched M_A_S\*H? ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2005, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shagnasty-and-the-worst-anecdote-in-sdmb-history/290468/40 "2005-02-17T04:55:55Z")
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