# Shakespeare help! Need a short speech **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 16, 2007, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shakespeare-help-need-a-short-speech/411946 "2007-07-16T05:36:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![dangermom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@dangermom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dangermom)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2007, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shakespeare-help-need-a-short-speech/411946/1 "2007-07-16T05:36:01Z")
I’m looking around for a good short speech from Shakespeare, suitable for memorization, hopefully either on the “nice” side or funny. Macbeth’s “tomorrow, and tomorrow” bit is about the right length, but I’d like something a little less dark. The “quality of mercy” speech is very nice, but rather long for my purposes. So can anyone help me with something shortish? It doesn’t have to be nicey-nice, just not _quite_ so much about death. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2007, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shakespeare-help-need-a-short-speech/411946/2 "2007-07-16T05:44:51Z")
How about the St. Crispin’s Day speech from Henry V? ``` * This day is call'd the feast of Crispian. He that outlives this day, and comes safe home, Will stand a tip-toe when this day is nam'd, And rouse him at the name of Crispian. He that shall live this day, and see old age, Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours, And say 'To-morrow is Saint Crispian.' Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars, And say 'These wounds I had on Crispian's day.' Old men forget; yet all shall be forgot, But he'll remember, with advantages, What feats he did that day. Then shall our names, Familiar in his mouth as household words- Harry the King, Bedford and Exeter, Warwick and Talbot, Salisbury and Gloucester- Be in their flowing cups freshly rememb'red. This story shall the good man teach his son; And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by, From this day to the ending of the world, But we in it shall be remembered- We few, we happy few, we band of brothers; For he to-day that sheds his blood with me Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile, This day shall gentle his condition; And gentlemen in England now-a-bed Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here, And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day.* ``` Or John of Gaunt’s speech from Richard 2? _This royal throne of kings, this scepter’d isle, This earth of majesty, this seat of Mars, This other Eden, demi-paradise, This fortress built by Nature for herself Against infection and the hand of war, This happy breed of men, this little world, This precious stone set in the silver sea, Which serves it in the office of a wall, Or as a moat defensive to a house, Against the envy of less happier lands, This blessed plot, this earth, this realm, this England, This nurse, this teeming womb of royal kings, Fear’d by their breed and famous by their birth, Renowned for their deeds as far from home, For Christian service and true chivalry, As is the sepulchre in stubborn Jewry, Of the world’s ransom, blessed Mary’s Son, This land of such dear souls, this dear dear land, Dear for her reputation through the world, Is now leased out, I die pronouncing it, Like to a tenement or pelting farm: England, bound in with the triumphant sea Whose rocky shore beats back the envious siege Of watery Neptune, is now bound in with shame, With inky blots and rotten parchment bonds: That England, that was wont to conquer others, Hath made a shameful conquest of itself. Ah, would the scandal vanish with my life, How happy then were my ensuing death!_ ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2007, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shakespeare-help-need-a-short-speech/411946/3 "2007-07-16T05:58:51Z")
If your sole criterion is “not so much about death”, I’ve always been partial to Edmund’s monologue from Act 1, Scene 2 of King Lear: > [@](#): > > EDMUND > > ``` > Thou, nature, art my goddess; to thy law > My services are bound. Wherefore should I > Stand in the plague of custom, and permit > The curiosity of nations to deprive me, > For that I am some twelve or fourteen moon-shines > Lag of a brother? Why bastard? wherefore base? > When my dimensions are as well compact, > My mind as generous, and my shape as true, > As honest madam's issue? Why brand they us > With base? with baseness? bastardy? base, base? > Who, in the lusty stealth of nature, take > More composition and fierce quality > Than doth, within a dull, stale, tired bed, > Go to the creating a whole tribe of fops, > Got 'tween asleep and wake? Well, then, > Legitimate Edgar, I must have your land: > Our father's love is to the bastard Edmund > As to the legitimate: fine word,--legitimate! > Well, my legitimate, if this letter speed, > And my invention thrive, Edmund the base > Shall top the legitimate. I grow; I prosper: > Now, gods, stand up for bastards! > > ``` ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Purl\_McKnittington](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9a140/32.png) [@Miss\_Purl\_McKnittington](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Purl_McKnittington)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2007, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shakespeare-help-need-a-short-speech/411946/4 "2007-07-16T06:13:37Z")
How about Polonius’ “to thine own self be true” speech in _Hamlet_? > [@](#): > > Yet here, Laertes! Aboard, aboard for shame! > The wind sits in the shoulder of your sail, > And you are stay’d for. > There … my blessing with thee! > And these few precepts in thy memory > Look thou character. Give thy thoughts no tongue, > Nor any unproportion’d thought his act. > Be thou familiar, but by no means vulgar. > Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried, > Grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel; > But do not dull thy palm with entertainment > Of each new-hatch’d, unfledg’d comrade. Beware > Of entrance to a quarrel but, being in, > Bear’t that th’ opposed may beware of thee. > Give every man thy ear, but few thy voice; > Take each man’s censure, but reserve thy judgement. > Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy, > But not express’d in fancy; rich, not gaudy; > For the apparel oft proclaims the man; > And they in France of the best rank and station > Are of a most select and generous chief in that. > Neither a borrower, nor a lender be; > For loan oft loses both itself and friend, > And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry. > This above all: to thine own self be true, > And it must follow, as the night the day, > Thou canst not then be false to any man. > Farewell; my blessing season this in thee! Otherwise, [this site](http://www.monologuearchive.com/s/shakespeare_william.html) may help. It’s an archive of monologues from Shakespeare. ---
**Author:** ![Cunctator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/43a26b/32.png) [@Cunctator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cunctator)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2007, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shakespeare-help-need-a-short-speech/411946/5 "2007-07-16T06:22:53Z")
What about Jaques’ famous “All the world’s a stage” soliloquy? > [@](#): > > All the world’s a stage, > And all the men and women merely players; > They have their exits and their entrances; > And one man in his time plays many parts, > His acts being seven ages. At first the infant, > Mewling and puking in the nurse’s arms; > Then the whining school-boy, with his satchel > And shining morning face, creeping like snail > Unwillingly to school. And then the lover, > Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad > Made to his mistress’ eyebrow. Then a soldier, > Full of strange oaths, and bearded like the pard, > Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel, > Seeking the bubble reputation > Even in the cannon’s mouth. And then the justice, > In fair round belly with good capon lin’d, > With eyes severe and beard of formal cut, > Full of wise saws and modern instances; > And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts > Into the lean and slipper’d pantaloon, > With spectacles on nose and pouch on side; > His youthful hose, well sav’d, a world too wide > For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice, > Turning again toward childish treble, pipes > And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all, > That ends this strange eventful history, > Is second childishness and mere oblivion; > Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything. _As You Like It_: Act II, Scene VII ---
**Author:** ![Fretful\_Porpentine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fretful_porpentine/32/2873_2.png) [@Fretful\_Porpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fretful_Porpentine)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2007, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shakespeare-help-need-a-short-speech/411946/6 "2007-07-16T12:35:08Z")
How about Benedick’s monologue about love? Might be a little long, but it can be abridged or excerpted. > [@](#): > > I do much wonder that one man, seeing how much another man is a fool when he dedicates his behaviors to love, will, after he hath laughed at such shallow follies in others, become the argument of his own scorn by failing in love: and such a man is Claudio. I have known when there was no music with him but the drum and the fife; and now had he rather hear the tabour and the pipe: I have known when he would have walked ten mile a-foot to see a good armour; and now will he lie ten nights awake, carving the fashion of a new doublet. He was wont to speak plain and to the purpose, like an honest man and a soldier; and now is he turned orthography; his words are a very fantastical banquet, just so many strange dishes. May I be so converted and see with these eyes? I cannot tell; I think not: I will not be sworn, but love may transform me to an oyster; but I’ll take my oath on it, till he have made an oyster of me, he shall never make me such a fool. One woman is fair, yet I am well; another is wise, yet I am well; another virtuous, yet I am well; but till all graces be in one woman, one woman shall not come in my grace. Rich she shall be, that’s certain; wise, or I’ll none; virtuous, or I’ll never cheapen her; fair, or I’ll never look on her; mild, or come not near me; noble, or not I for an angel; of good discourse, an excellent musician, and her hair shall be of what colour it please God. Ha! the prince and Monsieur Love! I will hide me in the arbour. Or Enobarbus’ description of Cleopatra? > [@](#): > > The barge she sat in, like a burnish’d throne, > Burn’d on the water: the poop was beaten gold; > Purple the sails, and so perfumed that > The winds were love-sick with them; the oars were silver, > Which to the tune of flutes kept stroke, and made > The water which they beat to follow faster, > As amorous of their strokes. For her own person, > It beggar’d all description: she did lie > In her pavilion–cloth-of-gold of tissue– > O’er-picturing that Venus where we see > The fancy outwork nature: on each side her > Stood pretty dimpled boys, like smiling Cupids, > With divers-colour’d fans, whose wind did seem > To glow the delicate cheeks which they did cool, > And what they undid did. ---
**Author:** ![dangermom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@dangermom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dangermom)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2007, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shakespeare-help-need-a-short-speech/411946/7 "2007-07-16T14:08:56Z")
Thanks everyone, some of these are great. I’ll see what I can do. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2007, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shakespeare-help-need-a-short-speech/411946/8 "2007-07-16T14:36:37Z")
I am thy father’s spirit, Doom’d for a certain term to walk the night, And for the day confin’d to fast in fires, Till the foul crimes done in my days of nature Are burnt and purg’d away. But that I am forbid To tell the secrets of my prison house, I could a tale unfold whose lightest word Would harrow up thy soul, freeze thy young blood, Make thy two eyes, like stars, start from their spheres, Thy knotted and combined locks to part, And each particular hair to stand on end Like quills upon the fretful porcupine. But this eternal blazon must not be To ears of flesh and blood. – _Hamlet,_ Act I, Scene V Well, it’s **short!** :o ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2007, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shakespeare-help-need-a-short-speech/411946/9 "2007-07-16T14:46:19Z")
What a piece of work is man. How noble in reason. How infinite in faculty. In form and moving how express and admirable. In action, how like an angel. In apprehension, how like a God. The beauty of the world. The paragon of animals. And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust? Man delights not me. -Hamlet someplace. ---
**Author:** ![mlerose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/43a26b/32.png) [@mlerose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mlerose)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2007, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shakespeare-help-need-a-short-speech/411946/10 "2007-07-16T15:54:01Z")
I’m fond of Puck’s speech at the end of A Midsummer Night’s Dream _If we shadows have offended, Think but this, and all is mended, That you have but slumber’d here While these visions did appear. And this weak and idle theme, No more yielding but a dream, Gentles, do not reprehend: if you pardon, we will mend: And, as I am an honest Puck, If we have unearned luck Now to 'scape the serpent’s tongue, We will make amends ere long; Else the Puck a liar call; So, good night unto you all. Give me your hands, if we be friends, And Robin shall restore amends. (Act v. Scene i.)_ I also like the “All the world’s a stage” speech mentioned by **Cuncator** ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2007, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shakespeare-help-need-a-short-speech/411946/11 "2007-07-19T17:39:05Z")
[QUOTE=Paul in Saudi] What a piece of work is man. How noble in reason. How infinite in faculty. In form and moving how express and admirable. In action, how like an angel. In apprehension, how like a God. The beauty of the world. The paragon of animals. And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust? Man delights not me. -Hamlet someplace. [/QUOTE] “Why did you laugh when I said, ‘Man delights not me’?” – Tom Cruise