# Shanghai Sperm Bank Gives a Helping Hand **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 17, 2009, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shanghai-sperm-bank-gives-a-helping-hand/496767 "2009-05-17T18:12:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2009, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shanghai-sperm-bank-gives-a-helping-hand/496767/1 "2009-05-17T18:12:02Z")
This is a bit bizarre, but I’ve done some checking, and it appears to be real. The sperm bank in Shanghai, China’s Ren Ji Hospital has white-coated nurses who will whack you off! Some details below. This is NOT SAFE FOR WORK, even though the naughty bits have been pixellated out, so I’ve disabled the link: > **[Shanghai – that Extra Mile…](https://slamxhype.com/shanghai-that-extra-mile/)** > > Sorry guys, I know I should be writing about design, art, fashion or culture in this blog, but I really can’t let this one slip through… Excerpt: **“You can go 4-5 times a month, and each time you will get maximum 3 hand jobs. You will also get paid RMB200 (US$30) at the end of each session for your kindness.”** Geez, in Bangkok, _you_ have to pay _the girl_ for a similar service. We’ve got it ass-backwards! :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2009, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shanghai-sperm-bank-gives-a-helping-hand/496767/2 "2009-05-17T19:06:43Z")
It sounds great and all but the picture kind of shatters the fantasy. The girls are cute, but they’re wearing gloves, you’re in a fucking _gown_, and you’re lying next to a bunch of other dudes. Call me when they get a VIP room. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2009, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shanghai-sperm-bank-gives-a-helping-hand/496767/3 "2009-05-17T19:31:32Z")
> [@Cisco](#): > > It sounds great and all but the picture kind of shatters the fantasy. The girls are cute, but they’re wearing gloves, you’re in a fucking _gown_, and you’re lying next to a bunch of other dudes. Call me when they get a VIP room. Pff, I don’t care. Besides, I’ve already booked my flight to Shanghai. ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2009, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shanghai-sperm-bank-gives-a-helping-hand/496767/4 "2009-05-17T20:24:41Z")
“yes waitress, I’ll have the LoMein… Wait, haven’t I seen you somewhere???” ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2009, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shanghai-sperm-bank-gives-a-helping-hand/496767/5 "2009-05-17T20:34:58Z")
Reminds me of [this](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/64/how-do-sperm-banks-get-sperm-from-the-donor) column. When I first came across it, I got confused by the joke about “Five-finger Mary, R.N.” I thought Cecil literally meant that there were special nurses who, um, yeah. Turns out I wasn’t too far off, after all. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2009, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shanghai-sperm-bank-gives-a-helping-hand/496767/6 "2009-05-17T20:37:17Z")
> [@Mr Bus Guy](#): > > “yes waitress, I’ll have the LoMein… Wait, haven’t I seen you somewhere???” “…Okay, then, go wash your hands and make me a sandwich.” ---
**Author:** ![thirdname](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d07c76/32.png) [@thirdname](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thirdname)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2009, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shanghai-sperm-bank-gives-a-helping-hand/496767/7 "2009-05-18T02:23:01Z")
The trick is to go on a weekday afternoon when they’re not too busy. ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2009, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shanghai-sperm-bank-gives-a-helping-hand/496767/8 "2009-05-18T06:49:16Z")
I wish they had that when I was going for fertility tests…would have been much better than being passed a cup and pointed to the disabled toilets. Not so sure about the communal room though. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2009, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shanghai-sperm-bank-gives-a-helping-hand/496767/9 "2009-05-18T07:00:51Z")
Do they have male nurses available, if you’re gay? ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2009, 9:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shanghai-sperm-bank-gives-a-helping-hand/496767/10 "2009-05-18T09:03:02Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > Do they have male nurses available, if you’re gay? In China? Considering homosexuality was classified as mental illness in China until 2001 (and fun fact: in Hong Kong male homosexuality is a crime which was punishable by life imprisonment until 1991 when it was “decriminalized” - although of course Hong Kong was not technically part of China during this time), I kinda doubt it. ---
**Author:** ![Electronic\_Chaos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Electronic\_Chaos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electronic_Chaos)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2009, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shanghai-sperm-bank-gives-a-helping-hand/496767/11 "2009-05-18T21:07:03Z")
Sorry to shatter everyone’s hopes and dreams, but it’s a [hoax](http://www.blameitonthevoices.com/2009/04/no-helping-hand-at-shanghai-sperm-bank.html). Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to see if I can get this plane ticket refunded… ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2009, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shanghai-sperm-bank-gives-a-helping-hand/496767/12 "2009-05-19T04:38:00Z")
Damn! I suspected it but could find nothing indicating it was a hoax. Disillusioned yet again. ☹