# Share actual problems you've had that no one will ever sympathize with **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 5, 2010, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-actual-problems-youve-had-that-no-one-will-ever-sympathize-with/542064 "2010-06-05T15:24:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2010, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-actual-problems-youve-had-that-no-one-will-ever-sympathize-with/542064/121 "2010-06-26T21:18:25Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > The boob fairy… I am having some very strange images in my mind now. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2010, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-actual-problems-youve-had-that-no-one-will-ever-sympathize-with/542064/122 "2010-06-26T21:45:55Z")
I’ve got one. Earlier this year, we were given a very large monetary gift… in the tens of thousands. We are students, so it’s screwing with our financial aid. It is the worst possible time anybody could try to give us a large sum of money, and having it actually makes our lives more difficult. Figuring out what to do with it and how to make it work in our favor has turned into a giant PITA. (We did figure out a solution, but not without 1,000 headaches.) ---
**Author:** ![trapezoidal\_jellyfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6f9a4e/32.png) [@trapezoidal\_jellyfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/trapezoidal_jellyfish)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2010, 8:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-actual-problems-youve-had-that-no-one-will-ever-sympathize-with/542064/123 "2010-06-27T08:46:11Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > The boob fairy often arrives post puberty. She got lazy, and waved her wand over me a few times instead of spreading it around to all the other girls. I could have started wearing a bra in fourth grade. I was 9. Now, at 21, I can just barely fit myself into a DDD. Bras in my size are either really expensive, or little lacy things that don’t give any support at all. Oh, and I’ve never even had any sort of back pain from the extra weight on my chest, so if I want a breast reduction there’s very little chance my insurance will cover it. The rest of my body is also pretty curvy, around size 10, but I’m only 5’ tall. I don’t have a torso, I just have boobs. It’s a good thing I don’t have a real job, because I would be seriously screwed if i had to find professional-looking clothes in my size. Anything fitted is too tight, and if I go up in sizes until I can button in comfortably it’s way too big in the shoulders and sleeves. I don’t even bother with straight skirts, because if they’re big enough to fit around my butt then they’ll be falling down at the waist. gah!!! ---
**Author:** ![trapezoidal\_jellyfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6f9a4e/32.png) [@trapezoidal\_jellyfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/trapezoidal_jellyfish)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2010, 8:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-actual-problems-youve-had-that-no-one-will-ever-sympathize-with/542064/124 "2010-06-27T08:50:07Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > I’ve got one. > > Earlier this year, we were given a very large monetary gift… in the tens of thousands. We are students, so it’s screwing with our financial aid. It is the worst possible time anybody could try to give us a large sum of money, and having it actually makes our lives more difficult. Figuring out what to do with it and how to make it work in our favor has turned into a giant PITA. > > (We did figure out a solution, but not without 1,000 headaches.) I have a friend with the same problem. She is eligible for a full scholarship to a pretty good medical school. She happens to have some money she inherited from her grandmother- approximately the same amount as the value of her scholarship. She did work it out somehow so she still gets her scholarship, but I remember her headaches as well. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2010, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-actual-problems-youve-had-that-no-one-will-ever-sympathize-with/542064/125 "2010-06-27T13:04:58Z")
> [@trapezoidal\_jellyfish](#): > > She got lazy, and waved her wand over me a few times instead of spreading it around to all the other girls. I could have started wearing a bra in fourth grade. I was 9. Now, at 21, I can just barely fit myself into a DDD. Bras in my size are either really expensive, or little lacy things that don’t give any support at all. Oh, and I’ve never even had any sort of back pain from the extra weight on my chest, so if I want a breast reduction there’s very little chance my insurance will cover it. The rest of my body is also pretty curvy, around size 10, but I’m only 5’ tall. I don’t have a torso, I just have boobs. It’s a good thing I don’t have a real job, because I would be seriously screwed if i had to find professional-looking clothes in my size. Anything fitted is too tight, and if I go up in sizes until I can button in comfortably it’s way too big in the shoulders and sleeves. I don’t even bother with straight skirts, because if they’re big enough to fit around my butt then they’ll be falling down at the waist. gah!!! The back pain will probably come. I’m 43. While the boob fairy came late, she left me with a 32F of a chest, $70 bras, and back pain starting in my mid-30s. ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2010, 7:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-actual-problems-youve-had-that-no-one-will-ever-sympathize-with/542064/126 "2010-06-28T07:44:31Z")
I work from home. This doesn’t bring in a lot of money, which is always a problem, but today I’m not working, and there is glorious sunshine (again), so I am trying to decide between going to the Lido, swimming and sunbathing, or staying home, reading and sleeping. It feels terribly wasteful not to enjoy the sunshine and the lovely pool, but it also costs money (though not that much) and I’m tired; still, none of my 9-5 friends would sympathise with my indecision. I don’t myself! ---
**Author:** ![Acantha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc348/32.png) [@Acantha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acantha)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2010, 8:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-actual-problems-youve-had-that-no-one-will-ever-sympathize-with/542064/127 "2010-06-28T08:38:45Z")
I live in Hawaii and I wish I didn’t. ---
**Author:** ![Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hazle_Weatherfield)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2010, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-actual-problems-youve-had-that-no-one-will-ever-sympathize-with/542064/128 "2010-06-28T15:01:35Z")
For the most part, generalized anxiety disorder and panic attacks. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2010, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-actual-problems-youve-had-that-no-one-will-ever-sympathize-with/542064/129 "2010-06-28T15:34:04Z")
> [@Acantha](#): > > I live in Hawaii and I wish I didn’t. Are there any black ghettos in Hawaii? Any Jamaican/Reggae culture at all, that you know of? I’ve been thinking of visiting there. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2010, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-actual-problems-youve-had-that-no-one-will-ever-sympathize-with/542064/130 "2010-06-28T15:46:48Z")
> [@Hazle\_Weatherfield](#): > > For the most part, generalized anxiety disorder and panic attacks. Why is that not a sympathetic problem to have? ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2010, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-actual-problems-youve-had-that-no-one-will-ever-sympathize-with/542064/131 "2010-06-28T15:51:27Z")
> [@Hazle\_Weatherfield](#): > > For the most part, generalized anxiety disorder and panic attacks. People don’t sympathize with this? ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2010, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-actual-problems-youve-had-that-no-one-will-ever-sympathize-with/542064/132 "2010-06-28T16:08:30Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > My first boyfriend broke up with me because I was too flat chested. Five years later, my cups runneth over. > > The boob fairy often arrives post puberty. The temptation to look that stupid jerk up on Facebook or whatever and make sure he saw visual evidence of what he’s missing out on now must have been overwhelming. If I was in your position, I wouldn’t do so, but I’d fantasize about it continuously. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2010, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-actual-problems-youve-had-that-no-one-will-ever-sympathize-with/542064/133 "2010-06-28T16:12:41Z")
> [@Acantha](#): > > I live in Hawaii and I wish I didn’t. I wish I lived in Hawaii and don’t, although I suspect that might be eaier to sympathize with. ---
**Author:** ![Acantha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc348/32.png) [@Acantha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acantha)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2010, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-actual-problems-youve-had-that-no-one-will-ever-sympathize-with/542064/134 "2010-06-28T21:55:52Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > Are there any black ghettos in Hawaii? Any Jamaican/Reggae culture at all, that you know of? I’ve been thinking of visiting there. There is some appreciation for Reggae, but generally blacks and whites are low on the food chain here. There is a lot of weird racism and segregation in the islands that tourists don’t see. African Americans make up less than 2% of the population in the state. It’s an aesthetically beautiful place with a lot of ugliness you don’t realize is there until you live here for a while. People who work in tourism often smile at tourists until they get their money and then talk smack about them the minute their backs are turned, and sometimes they don’t even bother to be polite to their faces. We have a joke that ‘Aloha’ means ‘screw you, tourist, give me your money and GTFO.’ This database has some of the common racial slurs that originated in Hawaii if you have the patience to search for them, and they’ve left some out. ‘Microwave’ is a favorite one used by the Native Hawaiians for the Marshallesians. :rolleyes: All the ethnic groups here have nasty names for all the others. It’s the most racially divided place I’ve ever seen, and I went through forced busing in the 70s. [http://www.rsdb.org/](http://www.rsdb.org/) I’ve heard Maui is more progressive than the Big Island and Oahu are but I haven’t spent any time on Maui so I couldn’t say for sure if that’s true. We’ve learned if you want decent service in a restaurant or store, you go to major chains, which sucks, but it’s the only way to get any kind of service. If you go to a local place and you don’t look like you’re Hawaiian or Asian, you get ignored or treated rudely. If you’re in a chain or a place that caters to tourism you may get treated decently because they’re trying to sell people on Hawaiian vacations and/or chains have national standards of service. We’ve gone into ‘local’ restaurants and been completely ignored for 1/2 hour or more, no menus, no drink order, nothing, while people who came in after us got served. It’s blatant and has given me a new appreciation for what POC have dealt with for their entire lives. My husband just related an incident at work where a co-worker was overheard by a customer referring to him and his family as ‘jigaboos.’ There was a huge incident and the company had to issue refunds and comps, and afaik, the employee has not been fired, which just leaves me flabbergasted. I can’t imagine a mainland company keeping someone in a tourism based position who would do something that outrageous, potentially costing them future business, but that’s Hawaii for you. ---
**Author:** ![sormanic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f17d59/32.png) [@sormanic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sormanic)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2010, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-actual-problems-youve-had-that-no-one-will-ever-sympathize-with/542064/135 "2010-06-29T02:51:23Z")
I wish I could just sit alone in my office for eight hours straight working. ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2010, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-actual-problems-youve-had-that-no-one-will-ever-sympathize-with/542064/136 "2010-06-30T21:50:48Z")
I once went up two tax brackets in a year and was bummed when I found out I wouldn’t be getting much of a tax return that year. I get technology. I mean intuitively. If I see a technology product, I can figure out how it works in a short period of time, and I’m right on the nose, usually down to some fine details, 90% of the time. The other 10% of the time I’m mostly right. I can reverse engineer stuff and come up with interoperable stuff in my sleep. This is a huge gift in the technology world because it means I can troubleshoot issues and develop solutions at ten times the speed of 99% of other people I’ve ever met(and I’ve met some really bright people). It’s made me a ton of money and virtually indispensable at every job I’ve had. I’ve had three long term jobs, and in all three of them the management let me write my own ticket. Literally. For my current position I was given a blank job description form and told “write your dream job.” And they created a new salary tier for me too. My family has a nice lifestyle, and we very rarely have any money problems unless we’ve mismanaged something or had a major unexpected expense, and then it’s mostly cashflow, not anything existential. We dip into one of our rainy day accounts and then we’re fine. We’ve never been anything close to really tapped out since about a year after I graduated college. But I find my work boring. Boring, boring, boring. It’s kind of like that scene in Good Will Hunting where this ungrateful bastard of a prodigy says to the elder professor that he hates doing this work and he wishes other people could do this stuff so he didn’t have to. I wind up resenting the very gift which has enabled my entire professional, indeed adult, life. There’s nothing like a challenge to bring out the best in you, and most of the time I solve these problems without much of a challenge. Then I sit around and wear my placid face while other people catch up to me and we can all move forward. I’ve found my calling, apparently, but I’m not really interested in answering. Enjoy, Steven ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2010, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-actual-problems-youve-had-that-no-one-will-ever-sympathize-with/542064/137 "2010-06-30T22:14:00Z")
> [@Hazle\_Weatherfield](#): > > For the most part, generalized anxiety disorder and panic attacks. Why do you think people wouldn’t sympathize with this? ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2010, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-actual-problems-youve-had-that-no-one-will-ever-sympathize-with/542064/138 "2010-07-02T03:49:24Z")
I’m a muni court magistrate, adequately if not fabulously paid. Usually my work is pretty interesting. I have friends in private practice who are really struggling right now, and local law firms just aren’t hiring. I should be very happy to have this job, and I am. But I have to admit I sigh a little to myself when I walk into the courtroom, the bailiff says “All rise,” and I pick up the file to see it’s yet another trial about (1) a landlord who bilked a tenant, (2) a tenant who trashed his apartment and stiffed the landlord, or (3) a used car dealership which sold a lemon. ---
**Author:** ![Cardinal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardinal/32/4000_2.png) [@Cardinal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardinal)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2010, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-actual-problems-youve-had-that-no-one-will-ever-sympathize-with/542064/139 "2010-07-02T04:57:11Z")
> [@Angua](#): > > Yeah, not expecting much sympathy for this problem – people routinely lowball my age to be early-20s and assume I’m a recent college graduate. I had this for years. I paid the college graduate rates at the local California junior college at about 25, and had the cashier tell me I didn’t look old enough to have a degree. I got little sympathy, but as a dude, I was much more concentrated on being taken seriously than being seen as young. It really, really bugged me. ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2010, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-actual-problems-youve-had-that-no-one-will-ever-sympathize-with/542064/140 "2010-07-02T11:55:02Z")
> [@Cardinal](#): > > I had this for years. I paid the college graduate rates at the local California junior college at about 25, and had the cashier tell me I didn’t look old enough to have a degree. I got little sympathy, but as a dude, I was much more concentrated on being taken seriously than being seen as young. It really, really bugged me. I decided about three weeks ago to grow a beard. Really, for the first time in my 40 years, let it grow and see what it did. I came around a corner in the office yesterday and was nearly run over by a senior manager and she said “Wow! You grew a beard? It makes you look like an adult!” Gee. Thanks. I guess. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-actual-problems-youve-had-that-no-one-will-ever-sympathize-with/542064.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-actual-problems-youve-had-that-no-one-will-ever-sympathize-with/542064.md?page=8)