# Share embarrassing/funny story about a sexual experience you had. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 28, 2015, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-embarrassing-funny-story-about-a-sexual-experience-you-had/735958 "2015-10-28T13:05:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2015, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-embarrassing-funny-story-about-a-sexual-experience-you-had/735958/21 "2015-10-29T03:51:35Z")
> [@ekedolphin](#): > > The first time my then-girlfriend and I masturbated each other in the shower, my orgasm was so intense that I felt myself starting to black out. I climbed out of the bathtub and got into a fetal position on the floor, where I remained for the next two minutes or so. Are you a man or a woman? ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2015, 10:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-embarrassing-funny-story-about-a-sexual-experience-you-had/735958/22 "2015-10-29T10:56:36Z")
I had this roommate and one time my GF and I got home and we could hear the sound of someone getting a hard spanking. Meaning paddle on bare flesh. And from the sound of it quite the workover. I asked my roommate the next day if he had trouble sitting down today but it turns out it was his gf who now had the sore bottom. ---
**Author:** ![ekedolphin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ekedolphin/32/10003_2.png) [@ekedolphin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ekedolphin)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2015, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-embarrassing-funny-story-about-a-sexual-experience-you-had/735958/23 "2015-10-29T10:58:39Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > Are you a man or a woman? I’m a guy. ---
**Author:** ![GrumpyBunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bc8723/32.png) [@GrumpyBunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrumpyBunny)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2015, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-embarrassing-funny-story-about-a-sexual-experience-you-had/735958/24 "2015-10-29T11:19:45Z")
I used the Today sponge as my main form of birth control for a while in college. One night, my then-BF and I were getting busy. He went down on me, and I was enjoying myself. A few minutes later, I feel him splutter and make hacking noises not unlike those of a cat with a hairball. “What’s wrong?” I asked. “My wips and twunge are going nummm.” he responded. We kind of looked at each other and were like, that’s weird. But as horny kids, we just waited a bit, his lips and tongue returned to normal, and we carried on with other activities. The next day, I called the sponge maker’s Q&A phone number to see if it could’ve been the sponge that made his lips and tongue numb. Because otherwise, I had a weapons-grade cooter. The CSR was not only not shocked by the question, she also read us the answer in an expressionless voice: the spermicide in the sponge can make someone’s lips and tongue go numb. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2015, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-embarrassing-funny-story-about-a-sexual-experience-you-had/735958/25 "2015-10-29T11:21:00Z")
We were going at it slow and easy in the missionary position, when one of our cats climbed on me and curled up in the small of my back. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2015, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-embarrassing-funny-story-about-a-sexual-experience-you-had/735958/26 "2015-10-29T14:40:30Z")
Late one night, all alone and jerking off out my bedroom window, I was startled by the phone ringing. “Get out now,” a voice said. “We traced it, and it’s coming from _inside the house_!” ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2015, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-embarrassing-funny-story-about-a-sexual-experience-you-had/735958/27 "2015-10-29T15:30:29Z")
> [@ekedolphin](#): > > I’m a guy. I thought you were a dolphin. ---
**Author:** ![Small\_Hen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ad7895/32.png) [@Small\_Hen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Small_Hen)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2015, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-embarrassing-funny-story-about-a-sexual-experience-you-had/735958/28 "2015-10-29T16:14:51Z")
> [@John\_DiFool](#): > > I thought you were a dolphin. He’s a guy dolphin. Why do you think they had to do it in the bath? ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2015, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-embarrassing-funny-story-about-a-sexual-experience-you-had/735958/29 "2015-10-29T16:23:20Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > Late one night, all alone and jerking off out my bedroom window, I was startled by the phone ringing. what does this mean? ---
**Author:** ![steatopygia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steatopygia/32/3132_2.png) [@steatopygia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/steatopygia)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2015, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-embarrassing-funny-story-about-a-sexual-experience-you-had/735958/30 "2015-10-29T17:14:38Z")
> [@donkeyoatey](#): > > Your mom has a good sense of humor. Excellent ---
**Author:** ![Bruce\_Wayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bruce\_Wayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bruce_Wayne)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2015, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-embarrassing-funny-story-about-a-sexual-experience-you-had/735958/31 "2015-10-29T17:34:37Z")
> [@ekedolphin](#): > > The first time my then-girlfriend and I masturbated each other in the shower, my orgasm was so intense that I felt myself starting to black out. I climbed out of the bathtub and got into a fetal position on the floor, where I remained for the next two minutes or so. I can’t help but visualizing [MacGruber](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9btVvJ4mx9w) when I read this. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2015, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-embarrassing-funny-story-about-a-sexual-experience-you-had/735958/32 "2015-10-29T17:52:31Z")
My GF wanted to try something new wherein she takes TOTAL and I just follow her lead. So we’re standing in the living room. First, she takes off my shirt, then she takes off my shoes, then she starts to take of my pants. As she’s bending over trying to get my feet out of my pant leg, I instinctively raise my leg up and accidentally pop her in the face with my knee. Thank GOD I didn’t give her a black eye. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2015, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-embarrassing-funny-story-about-a-sexual-experience-you-had/735958/33 "2015-10-29T23:20:38Z")
> [@GrumpyBunny](#): > > I used the Today sponge as my main form of birth control for a while in college. > > One night, my then-BF and I were getting busy. He went down on me, and I was enjoying myself. A few minutes later, I feel him splutter and make hacking noises not unlike those of a cat with a hairball. > > “What’s wrong?” I asked. > > “My wips and twunge are going nummm.” he responded. > > We kind of looked at each other and were like, that’s weird. But as horny kids, we just waited a bit, his lips and tongue returned to normal, and we carried on with other activities. > > The next day, I called the sponge maker’s Q&A phone number to see if it could’ve been the sponge that made his lips and tongue numb. Because otherwise, I had a weapons-grade cooter. > > The CSR was not only not shocked by the question, she also read us the answer in an expressionless voice: the spermicide in the sponge can make someone’s lips and tongue go numb. It didn’t make your vagina go numb too? ---
**Author:** ![TheSpeculationElucidation](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecc23a/32.png) [@TheSpeculationElucidation](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheSpeculationElucidation)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2015, 10:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-embarrassing-funny-story-about-a-sexual-experience-you-had/735958/34 "2015-10-30T10:13:07Z")
Some of these responses are hilarious. Here’s mine: I was dating this guy and we were pretty kinky in general, but had never tried anal. He asked me one night if I wanted to try and I said sure! So we got everything we needed that next week and the night arrived. I worked in a sex shop at the time, so I used some numbing cream that was sold in the shop and he used a LOT of lube. We took everything really slow at first, but because of the numbing lotion I was able to handle it all pretty well and soon he was going at it pretty hard. I’d read a bunch of books (since they were laying around the shop anyway) so I knew what to expect. I used the restroom an hour before hand to avoid any incidents, but it ended up happening anyway… He made the terrible, terrible mistake of pulling all the way out and then pushing himself all the way in (air bubbles = bad time). The first time he did it I kind of was like, “Woah.” In a warning tone. He misunderstood and took it as an enthusiastic statement, so he did it again even harder. He was less enthusiastic when I farted and a little more came out than I wanted. Yeah. You get the gist. Anyway, we got married a year later. \*\*TL;DR - Tried anal, pooped on boyfriend. \*\* * * * I’ve heard horror stories of it being, like, REALLY bad the first time, and women pooping ALL OVER their partners. It’s not really uncommon. Thankfully with us, because I’d used the restroom earlier, it was just a little bit and he thought it was hilarious. We ended up putting the sheets in the wash and taking a shower together. We never had the same issue again. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-embarrassing-funny-story-about-a-sexual-experience-you-had/735958.md?page=1)