# Share stories about when you were completely culturally clueless **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 11, 2013, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-stories-about-when-you-were-completely-culturally-clueless/650008 "2013-02-11T19:23:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2013, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-stories-about-when-you-were-completely-culturally-clueless/650008/61 "2013-02-14T18:52:30Z")
I think I was unaware of Ash Wednesday until sometime in my 30s. “Dude, how come everyone has a smudge on their forehead today?” Ands it’s not like I didn’t grow up around a lot of Catholics. ---
**Author:** ![suranyi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@suranyi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/suranyi)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2013, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-stories-about-when-you-were-completely-culturally-clueless/650008/62 "2013-02-14T19:31:12Z")
> [@Northern\_Piper](#): > > The first time I spent some time in Quebec, I was surprised by the number of Alcoholics Anonymous branches that had storefront offices and advertised; until I realised that “Société des alcools” meant “Liquor store”, not “Group for Alcoholics”. > > :smack: My goodness! It was exactly the same for me! ---
**Author:** ![ducati](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/cc9497/32.png) [@ducati](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ducati)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2013, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-stories-about-when-you-were-completely-culturally-clueless/650008/63 "2013-02-14T20:45:53Z")
> [@FloatyGimpy](#): > > Gah! I just did something yesterday. > > I was re-inking my ink pad at work and one of my coworkers came to talk to me. She had a huge, black smear on her forehead and I said “heh, you look like you’ve had an accident with your ink pad!” > > Yesterday was apparently Ash Wednesday. :smack: Done it. Raised Baptist, sequestered from the world in Tennessee, I had no idea of the rules, regulations, and ceremonies of Catholics. A woman came in to my travel agency with a big smudge on her forehead, and sat at my desk, wanting an airline ticket. I pointed out the big smudge, and offered her a Kleenex. My mom just rolled her eyes at me… ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2013, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-stories-about-when-you-were-completely-culturally-clueless/650008/64 "2013-02-14T22:43:42Z")
Heh. I once had someone reach toward me, “You have something on your…” Me: Pulling away, “It’s supposed to be there!” Yesterday was a co-worker saying “What happened to you?” He didn’t understand my answer – he’s from Russia but I would have thought he heard about it somewhere since he’s lived all over. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2013, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-stories-about-when-you-were-completely-culturally-clueless/650008/65 "2013-02-15T06:10:05Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > Yesterday was a co-worker saying “What happened to you?” He didn’t understand my answer – he’s from Russia but I would have thought he heard about it somewhere since he’s lived all over. Cultural note: When Russians celebrate Palm Sunday, it’s usually later than in the West (since the Orthodox calendar is different) and they use pussy willows instead of palm leaves. As to whether or not they later burn them and then apply the ashes to their foreheads, I don’t know. ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2013, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-stories-about-when-you-were-completely-culturally-clueless/650008/66 "2013-02-15T07:12:57Z")
> [@Pine\_Fresh\_Scent](#): > > So there I was, giving what looks like the Nazi salute to three Germans. They were kind enough to roll with it and didn’t say anything. My Jewish friend laughed at me when I told her about it later. > > I felt like Basil Fawlty. “Listen, don’t mention the war. I mentioned it once, but think I got away with it.” Dutch friends of mine went cross country skiing in Austria in the 80’s. There they were, on their skis on a forest road, when they met another hiker. He nodded friendly at them and said…wait, what! He said “Sieg Heil”? My friends suddenly felt like they wandered into a Nazi movie. in a fit of paranoia that everyone in that pictoresque alpine village was a closet Nazi, they even packed up and left a few days early to flee back to the Netherlands. They didn’t have the Internet back then. Turned out that [“Ski Heil”](https://www.google.nl/search?q=ski+heil&aq=f&oq=ski+heil&aqs=chrome.0.57j60j61j60j0l2.1833&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8) is a very common Austrian winter greeting, meaning: “Have a pleasant time skiiing!” ---
**Author:** ![Double\_Foolscap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/85e7bf/32.png) [@Double\_Foolscap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Double_Foolscap)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2013, 10:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-stories-about-when-you-were-completely-culturally-clueless/650008/67 "2013-02-15T10:10:06Z")
Turns out bars aren’t really good value in America - they expect you to tip on top of every drink you buy. Whoops. ---
**Author:** ![Scribble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scribble/32/3317_2.png) [@Scribble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribble)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2013, 11:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-stories-about-when-you-were-completely-culturally-clueless/650008/68 "2013-02-15T11:23:12Z")
> [@Orionizer](#): > > Here’s my contribution. I was in middle school and one of my friends across the street was Jewish. > > He came by and asked what I was doing that night and I told him we were going to a barbecue and he should come along. > > He politely declined and I kept on and on about “C’mon man, it’s really good! You should come!”. :o > > I’m still ignorant of most religions… 😃 This one’s not really so clueless. Unless you knew that your friend kept kosher, there’s no problem. I’m Jewish, and I eat everything. There are lots of people like me. Besides, many observant Jews will go to gatherings where food plays a big role (BBQs, picnics, etc.) just to hang out, even if they’re not eating. Some will bend the rules a little and be OK with eating, say, a fruit salad, even though they wouldn’t touch the ribs. I think you were being nice, not necessarily clueless. ---
**Author:** ![BurnMeUp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@BurnMeUp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BurnMeUp)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2013, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-stories-about-when-you-were-completely-culturally-clueless/650008/69 "2013-02-15T20:52:37Z")
My first trip to Hong Kong I grabbed lunch at a restaurant before my friends got there. I finished my meal and waited about 5-10 minutes with my empty plate for someone to clear it and bring the check. No one seemed to notice so I’d catch eyes with my waiter, he’s see me and I’d smile and nod at him, he looked confused and smiled back and went about his business. After about 10 more minutes of smiling and politely waiting I flagged someone over to get my check. Later I come to find out that it’s not typical for waiters to come by and provide the check without being asked because it’s seen as rude. So here was this giant white man grinning like an idiot and nodding randomly at people for 20 minutes with an empty plate. I’d like to know what they thought of that. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2013, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-stories-about-when-you-were-completely-culturally-clueless/650008/70 "2013-02-15T21:39:51Z")
> [@SweetiePotato](#): > > I worked briefly for a very orthodox Israeli Jewish company. One time, a prominent local Rabbi came into the office and, trying to make a good impression, I promptly stood up from my desk and offered him my hand. He looked at me a little askance and did some sort of graceful demurral. > > Later I was informed that orthodox men, especially Rabbis, don’t touch women. Whoops. I did that too. I interned with a Jewish organization, and the Rabbi was this pretty sweet intellectual who was sort of an outsider compared to the rest of the snobby administrators. When I stopped to say goodbye for good, I grabbed his hand and shook, and for a second he looked like I’d slapped him but then he smiled. I didn’t find out until later about the rule. In grad school I had a friend from Taiwan and we made it a custom for her to come over for Thanksgiving dinner. After I finished cooking the turkey, I triumphantly jammed the big serving fork into the top of it and took a picture. Apparently in Taiwan, this was some kind of ill omen associated with death. My friend wasn’t too upset but she said her mother would have had a shit fit. And if we count childhood misunderstandings, one of my favorites is when my Mom took me out of state for the first time - from Michigan to Ohio. I was really confused and disappointed that everybody was speaking English. Oh, and I also thought sex was illegal, because people were so hush-hush about it. ---
**Author:** ![Nobody](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/94ad74/32.png) [@Nobody](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nobody)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2013, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-stories-about-when-you-were-completely-culturally-clueless/650008/71 "2013-02-15T22:19:12Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > And if we count childhood misunderstandings, one of my favorites is when my Mom took me out of state for the first time - from Michigan to Ohio. I was really confused and disappointed that everybody was speaking English. What language did you think they would be speaking? ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2013, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-stories-about-when-you-were-completely-culturally-clueless/650008/72 "2013-02-15T22:37:29Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > Oh, and I also thought sex was illegal, because people were so hush-hush about it. Hee. When I was a kid I thought you would get arrested for all kinds of things. I thought if you touched anyone (bumped them) in New York City you would be arrested so my parents would be way out ahead of me as I walked around everyone very carefully. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2013, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-stories-about-when-you-were-completely-culturally-clueless/650008/73 "2013-02-15T22:42:36Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > And if we count childhood misunderstandings, one of my favorites is when my Mom took me out of state for the first time - from Michigan to Ohio. I was really confused and disappointed that everybody was speaking English. My daughter made her first trip to the US when she was four. She was already perfectly bilingual in Russian and English, and had taught herself to read Russian when she was three. Apparently four years of living with me, watching English-language TV and movies, and going to an Anglican church on the weekends hadn’t quite prepared her for life in America, though: while we were standing in line at MPS/SP Int’l Airport, she said in complete astonishment “All the signs are in English!” :eek: ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2013, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-stories-about-when-you-were-completely-culturally-clueless/650008/74 "2013-02-16T00:25:59Z")
> [@Lacunae\_Matata](#): > > A few years ago, I was providing music for a Mormon youth group dance. The organizer asked if I’d like some Koolade or lemonade. I needed to drink something, but I hate sugary drinks, so I declined. Nice lady re-offers, with the additional phrase “or something else?” I asked for coffee. :smack:… My 13 yr nephew didn’t realize what was so funny about a store advertising “Delicous Hanukkah Ham”. He was also surprised to find out that Prince William is Queen Elizabeth II’s grandson, because he didn’t know the Queen was allowed to get married. > [@Floater](#): > > An English friend of mine once, when he was fairly new in Sweden, refused more food saying that he was so full. He later learned that in Swedish full means drunk. While staying in Quebec my French teacher once ended up trying to make polite conversation about her host’s _testicles_ (in France _gosses_ means children, in Quebec it’s testicles). She also told him she had hickeys she wanted to give them. The same word means candy in France. Our German exchange student was completely baffled by why the other girls got so upset when she took a shower after gym class. She couldn’t understand why we had showers that nobody was expected to use, and didn’t understand when I told her boys don’t shower either. Needless to say she was very freaked out by the Pledge of Allegiance. ---
**Author:** ![grama](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7cd45c/32.png) [@grama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grama)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2013, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-stories-about-when-you-were-completely-culturally-clueless/650008/75 "2013-02-16T01:16:15Z")
I don’t understand why you would have showers and not use them either. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2013, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-stories-about-when-you-were-completely-culturally-clueless/650008/76 "2013-02-16T01:28:33Z")
> [@grama](#): > > I don’t understand why you would have showers and not use them either. North Americans are really culturally embarrassed by nudity. The only other person to see you naked should be your spouse. Stripping your clothes off and showering in high school would be like strutting around town naked. Not everyone thinks like this, but it certainly is pervasive in our culture. ---
**Author:** ![grude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2013, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-stories-about-when-you-were-completely-culturally-clueless/650008/77 "2013-02-16T01:55:43Z")
I refused food saying I wasn’t hungry because I ate some of Samantha’s saltfish earlier, cue laughter. Saltfish was not only a food but a euphemism for vagina. And why the hell is the french word for single “unique”? Had some confusion with that one. ---
**Author:** ![SCAdian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scadian/32/3292_2.png) [@SCAdian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SCAdian)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2013, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-stories-about-when-you-were-completely-culturally-clueless/650008/78 "2013-02-16T02:08:00Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > North Americans are really culturally embarrassed by nudity. The only other person to see you naked should be your spouse. Stripping your clothes off and showering in high school would be like strutting around town naked. > > Not everyone thinks like this, but it certainly is pervasive in our culture. Huh??? It was pretty much required to shower at the end of gym class when I was in high school (not by school regulations perhaps, but certainly socially)! In fact, boys’ gym classes did their swimming in the nude. (Apparently the girls were given incredibly ugly swimsuits to wear.) ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2013, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-stories-about-when-you-were-completely-culturally-clueless/650008/79 "2013-02-16T02:11:20Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > North Americans are really culturally embarrassed by nudity. The only other person to see you naked should be your spouse. Stripping your clothes off and showering in high school would be like strutting around town naked… As far as I know the girls never used their showers (which were private stalls unlike ours). Boys rarely showered after gym class, but the sports teams usually did after practice. Speaking of lockerrooms; senior year the French club went to Quebec. We got to visit a high school in Montreal. One of my classmates needed to go to the bathroom while we were on tour. Nobody realized she went in the wrong door. The lockerroom was empty, but a swim class got out while she was in the stall. It get’s worse. She slipped & fell on her ass trying to run out there. :o And I think they were only 7th or 8th graders. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2013, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-stories-about-when-you-were-completely-culturally-clueless/650008/80 "2013-02-16T02:22:45Z")
> [@SCAdian](#): > > Huh??? It was pretty much required to shower at the end of gym class when I was in high school (not by school regulations perhaps, but certainly socially)! > > In fact, boys’ gym classes did their swimming in the nude. (Apparently the girls were given incredibly ugly swimsuits to wear.) What decade was this? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-stories-about-when-you-were-completely-culturally-clueless/650008.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-stories-about-when-you-were-completely-culturally-clueless/650008.md?page=5)