# Share your best "dad jokes." **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 16, 2019, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-best-dad-jokes/835612 "2019-06-16T16:25:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2019, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-best-dad-jokes/835612/61 "2019-06-25T02:29:39Z")
What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An investigator! ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2019, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-best-dad-jokes/835612/62 "2019-06-25T02:43:40Z")
Mr. and Mrs. Tater IV informed their daughter that she would not be allowed to marry Walter Cronkite because he is a common tater. ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2019, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-best-dad-jokes/835612/63 "2019-06-25T12:54:52Z")
Why don’t buffalo use their cell phones a lot? Roaming charges! ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2019, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-best-dad-jokes/835612/64 "2019-06-26T13:41:54Z")
In hospitals, where do games of hide-and-seek always end up? I C U! ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2019, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-best-dad-jokes/835612/65 "2019-06-26T14:48:18Z")
Ready youseselves for the best joke in the universe : “So a guy walks into a bar and that’s gotta hurt”. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2019, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-best-dad-jokes/835612/66 "2019-08-03T03:05:24Z")
What, I say what, do you call a fake potato? –an imitater I refused to believe my dad was fired from road work for stealing, but when I got home, all the signs were there. I told my son to stop playing Russian Roulette, but, ya know, it goes in one ear and out the other. I was fired from the keyboard factory yesterday. I wasn’t putting in enough shifts. What’s the definition of a will? –Oh, come now, the answer’s a dead giveaway! You wouldn’t believe who I bumped into on the way to the optometrist! Everybody. What do you called the watchmen at the Samsung factory? –Guardians of the Galaxy ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Strangelove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.strangelove/32/6613_2.png) [@Dr.Strangelove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Strangelove)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2019, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-best-dad-jokes/835612/67 "2019-08-03T03:13:45Z")
Here are my dad’s two favorite dad jokes: Q: What’s black and white and red all over? A: A newspaper (red -\> read) Q: What has four wheels and flies? A: A garbage truck. ---
**Author:** ![california\_jobcase](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@california\_jobcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/california_jobcase)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2019, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-best-dad-jokes/835612/68 "2019-08-03T17:17:51Z")
Out in the old west, a mangy cur limps into the saloon. He snarls “I’m a’lookin fer the man who shot my paw!!” ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2019, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-best-dad-jokes/835612/69 "2019-08-04T16:08:44Z")
Papa mole and Mama mole are at the entrance to the burrow, blocking it. Papa mole sniffs. “Mmmmm. Maple.” Mama mole demurs. “It’s honey, dear.” “No; definitely maple.” “Ho-o-oney.” Behind them Baby mole complains, “I only smell molasses!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-best-dad-jokes/835612.md?page=3)