# Share Your Best Family Guy Lines **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 30, 2010, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-best-family-guy-lines/562453 "2010-11-30T19:58:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2010, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-best-family-guy-lines/562453/41 "2010-12-01T23:12:08Z")
I don’t know where I saw/heard _this_ one, but it had to do with a person of Japanese ancestry not being able to pronounce the letter “r” within a word, okay? Anyway the comment was made and the answer was “I think people of his ancestry have problems getting their tongues around the (_ahem_) arse” Whereupon the answer was, “I’d think that with a little practice…”. Never mind. I think I just figured it out. It was on “Are You Being Served?” off the BBC. Sorry. As y’all wuz. Q ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2010, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-best-family-guy-lines/562453/42 "2010-12-02T00:23:20Z")
> [@RandMcnally](#): > > Peter: Fine, because I’m doing this for you I get anal in return. > > That’s right, no matter how clean the kitchen is I want you to clean it better. And then in later seasons they didn’t even tip toe around it: (Lois and Peter and high and naked on the couch and Brian walks in) Lois: Hey Brian…he’s knocking on the back door. Brain: Umm…what? Lois: He’s knocking on the back door…should I let him in? I’m a’scared! In the Fox version, she is wearing underwear and that bit of dialogue is left out, but she is nude (and clearly shaves…) in the Adult Swim version and they put that line back in. ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2010, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-best-family-guy-lines/562453/43 "2010-12-02T00:25:07Z")
> [@bouv](#): > > And then in later seasons they didn’t even tip toe around it: > > (Lois and Peter and high and naked on the couch and Brian walks in) > > Lois: Hey Brian…he’s knocking on the back door. > > Brain: Umm…what? > > Lois: He’s knocking on the back door…should I let him in? I’m a’scared! > > In the Fox version, she is wearing underwear and that bit of dialogue is left out, but she is nude (and clearly shaves…) in the Adult Swim version and they put that line back in. They were drugged up, weren’t they? ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_T-Cups](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed655f/32.png) [@Sir\_T-Cups](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_T-Cups)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2010, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-best-family-guy-lines/562453/44 "2010-12-02T01:32:10Z")
> [@bup](#): > > Peter: …something special. But not \*special \*like that retarded kid down the street. More like _Special K_. The cereal. > > Brian: Peter, do you even listen to yourself? > > Peter: I drift in and out. Actually this is a lot funnier than even you posted IIRC… Peter: something special…but not special like that retarded kid down the street more like special K special. Anyway what makes Special K so special? And whatever happened to Kay Ballard? And did you ever notice that when you pronounce ballard is like you’re saying mallard only with a stuffed up nose" ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2010, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-best-family-guy-lines/562453/45 "2010-12-02T02:19:16Z")
Yo quiero pancakes! Click click bloody click pancakes! ---
**Author:** ![drastic\_quench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e36b37/32.png) [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2010, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-best-family-guy-lines/562453/46 "2010-12-02T02:23:42Z")
It’s just like Special K. But what do they do with regular K? And for that matter, what happened to Kay Ballard? You know, if you said Mallard and you had a cold, it would sound like Ballard. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2010, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-best-family-guy-lines/562453/47 "2010-12-02T02:50:41Z")
Regarding whales: Chris: Dad, what’s the blow-hole for? Peter: I’ll tell you what it’s not for, son. And when I do, you’ll understand why I can never go back to Sea World. ---
**Author:** ![Obeseus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbce88/32.png) [@Obeseus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Obeseus)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2010, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-best-family-guy-lines/562453/48 "2010-12-02T03:13:22Z")
Watching Wheel of Fortune. The puzzle is partially solved as follows: GO UCK YOURSELF Contestant solves it – GO TUCK YOURSELF IN Peter says something like, "How about that. I still can’t believe we couldn’t get, “MY HAIRY AUNT.” ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2010, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-best-family-guy-lines/562453/49 "2010-12-02T03:41:50Z")
I love it when Joe gets a very expensive parrot, and Peter says, “cripple cripple cripple cripple cripple” over and over until the parrot says" cripple." Joe ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2010, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-best-family-guy-lines/562453/50 "2010-12-02T04:49:40Z")
From Memory. Peter is sitting despondent in The Drunken Clam after squandering Lois’s rainy day money on Volcano insurance. Cleveland and Quagmire burst in. Q: Drinks are on me! my accountant, Alan Shapiro, just got me a huge tax refund! C: No, drinks are on me. My broker, Bob Cohen, just made me a lot of money on the market. P: I see what you guys are trying to tell me. I need a Jew to manage my money. C: Now Peter, not every Jewish person is good with money. P: Well sure, not the retarded ones. ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2010, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-best-family-guy-lines/562453/51 "2010-12-02T04:54:05Z")
> [@fordtaurussho94](#): > > you can’t have pie without cool whip. you’re eating hair! ---
**Author:** ![FordTaurusSHO94](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f07891/32.png) [@FordTaurusSHO94](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FordTaurusSHO94)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2010, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-best-family-guy-lines/562453/52 "2010-12-02T05:19:47Z")
Peter: My name is pea… tear… Griffin! Crap. Picard: Number One, do you dare me to tell Mr. Worf his head looks like a fanny? Jonathan Frakes: I’d love a Shamrock Shake if they got any of those. Stewie: It’s September! ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2010, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-best-family-guy-lines/562453/53 "2010-12-02T05:34:58Z")
Stewie: “It’s like she’s f@cking FIVE!!” and the ‘Holy crip, he’s a crapple’ will make me fall over giggling anytime, anywhere. ---
**Author:** ![GameHat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ed655f/32.png) [@GameHat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GameHat)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2010, 8:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-best-family-guy-lines/562453/54 "2010-12-02T08:41:42Z")
> [@FordTaurusSHO94](#): > > Peter: My name is pea… tear… Griffin! Crap. 😃 That one was good, but the greatest was: [Lois]: He’s charming! All British men are! [Peter]: That’s what they said about Benjamin Disraeli! _ **cut to Disraeli writing at a desk. He looks up, clearly annoyed.** _ [Disraeli]: “You don’t even know who I am.” Such a great “fuck you” to us, the audience. I laughed until I wept the first time I saw this one. ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2010, 11:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-best-family-guy-lines/562453/55 "2010-12-02T11:22:09Z")
> [@bouv](#): > > And then in later seasons they didn’t even tip toe around it: > > (Lois and Peter and high and naked on the couch and Brian walks in) > > Lois: Hey Brian…he’s knocking on the back door. > > Brain: Umm…what? > > Lois: He’s knocking on the back door…should I let him in? I’m a’scared! > > In the Fox version, she is wearing underwear and that bit of dialogue is left out, but she is nude (and clearly shaves…) in the Adult Swim version and they put that line back in. I saw that episode when it was shown the first time on Fox, and it had both the nudity and the line. It was changed after that initial airing. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Knig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@Typo\_Knig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Knig)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2010, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-best-family-guy-lines/562453/56 "2010-12-02T11:45:40Z")
Casting Herbert as Obi-Wan in the Star Wars parody. So funny it makes me laugh at Star Wars retrospectively. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2010, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-best-family-guy-lines/562453/57 "2010-12-02T12:11:36Z")
> [@FordTaurusSHO94](#): > > Jonathan Frakes: I’d love a Shamrock Shake if they got any of those. > Stewie: It’s September! Pretty much any part of the Stewie-ST:TNG cast interaction in that episode makes me laugh hysterically. > [@](#): > > Stewie Griffin: This was exhausting. This whole experience was absolutely exhausting. You people have ruined “Star Trek: The Next Generation” for me. You are absolutely the most insufferable group of jackasses I have ever had the misfortune of spending an extended period of time with. I hope you all fucking die. > > Patrick Stewart: I still have five prize tickets from the carnival. > > Stewie Griffin: There was nothing for five tickets! We’ve been over this! > > Patrick Stewart: Well, but LeVar and I were going to pool ours for the fuzzy troll pencil topper. > > Stewie Griffin: Oh, yeah? You gonna share that? > > LeVar Burton: Yeah, we were gonna share it. > > Stewie Griffin: Really? How’s that going to work? > > Patrick Stewart: Three days at my house, three days at LeVar’s, and alternating Sundays. > > Stewie Griffin: For a pencil topper? > > Michael Dorn: I have to pee again. ---
**Author:** ![unwashed\_brain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/a9adbd/32.png) [@unwashed\_brain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/unwashed_brain)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2010, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-best-family-guy-lines/562453/58 "2010-12-02T13:30:01Z")
One I heard on a rerun the other night: Peter: “You’re overreacting, Lois, and you can’t spell overreacting without ‘ovary.’” ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2010, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-best-family-guy-lines/562453/59 "2010-12-02T15:10:01Z")
> [@Typo\_Knig](#): > > Casting Herbert as Obi-Wan in the Star Wars parody. So funny it makes me laugh at Star Wars retrospectively. [“Git your fat space-ass back here!”](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oCguYKxUaYI) ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2010, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-best-family-guy-lines/562453/60 "2010-12-02T16:06:15Z")
Stewie: Did you hear that Meg? Guys can marry other guys now. So…this is awkward, but I mean, if they can do that, that is pretty much it for you, isn’t it? I mean you might as well pack it in. Game over. * * * There was the one where the house was flooded and they were waist deep in water. Peter: Hey Chris, come over here. Is the water getting warmer? No, wait, that was supposed to be pee. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-best-family-guy-lines/562453.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-best-family-guy-lines/562453.md?page=4)