# Share your favorite euphemistic job titles **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 15, 2007, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-favorite-euphemistic-job-titles/426586 "2007-11-15T20:55:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Kid\_A\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Kid\_A\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kid_A_1)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2007, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-favorite-euphemistic-job-titles/426586/41 "2007-11-16T19:28:46Z")
[QUOTE=Athena] In the US, the title “engineer” is not protected by law. [/QUOTE] But it is in Ontario. And the Professinal Engineers of Ontario are attempting to crack down on it with some success. FYI, [Professional Engineers of Ontario and Software Engineering](http://www.peo.on.ca/enforcement/Software_engineering_page.html) ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2007, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-favorite-euphemistic-job-titles/426586/42 "2007-11-16T20:09:58Z")
[QUOTE=Dragwyr] I’m a magician who works on the side, so I must be a, “Semi-Professional Magical Arts Production Technician”. [/QUOTE] How about Semi-Professional Legitimate Legerdemain Associate?" ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Tonya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/4491bb/32.png) [@Queen\_Tonya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Tonya)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2007, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-favorite-euphemistic-job-titles/426586/43 "2007-11-16T20:44:40Z")
I was looking shaggy, so I scheduled some time with my favorite Follicular Modification Specialist. ---
**Author:** ![lalenin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@lalenin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lalenin)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2007, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-favorite-euphemistic-job-titles/426586/44 "2007-11-16T21:09:05Z")
I saw this on one of those house flipping shows, the flipper’s primary job was “Director of First Impressions” at a radio station, aka “Receptionist”. ---
**Author:** ![WF\_Tomba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d9b06d/32.png) [@WF\_Tomba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WF_Tomba)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2007, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-favorite-euphemistic-job-titles/426586/45 "2007-11-16T23:04:20Z")
[QUOTE=Queen Tonya] I was looking shaggy, so I scheduled some time with my favorite Follicular Modification Specialist. [/QUOTE] H.G. Wells wrote a story about a future in which (among other weird changes) barbers are called _capillotomists_ and are considered high artists, with the same prestige we might assign to a great conductor or sculptor. ---
**Author:** ![Tamex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ccd318/32.png) [@Tamex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamex)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2007, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-favorite-euphemistic-job-titles/426586/46 "2007-11-17T02:02:27Z")
I just found out I’m getting a new pretentious title today, thanks to our new computer system. I used to be a shipping clerk, but now the actual shipping will be done by other people and I will be a Finished Goods Coordinator. This means that I put the stuff we make in plastic bags and then pull that stuff off the shelf when the people who do the shipping (whatever they will be called) tell us they need the parts. Frankly, it sounds boring as hell, but no one asked me what I wanted to do. ---
**Author:** ![wonderlust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonderlust/32/7237_2.png) [@wonderlust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonderlust)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2007, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-favorite-euphemistic-job-titles/426586/47 "2007-11-17T03:51:51Z")
I’m semi-retired from the full-time job as domestic manager for two part-time clients. (I’m a full-time mom, with one child living at college, and am sharing custody of a high-schooler. Some of the time I live alone now.) ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2007, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-favorite-euphemistic-job-titles/426586/48 "2007-11-17T04:06:36Z")
Another “not a job title but …”: The bank I worked at while in grad school changed the name of the Help Desk to the Response Center. The reason was immediately obvious to all of us front-line techs: it was a truth-in-advertising deal. They could promise to _respond_, but the chances of them being of any _help_ were slim. My favorite euphemistic job title ever though is from a work of fiction (I want to say it’s _American Psycho_, but I can’t swear to it). It’s the job title of the guy who is in charge of selecting which girls are going to help the members of the band relax after the show. He’s the _trim coordinator_. ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2007, 9:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-favorite-euphemistic-job-titles/426586/49 "2007-11-17T09:03:56Z")
Not so much a job title but anyway: I was once known as An Old Age Pensioner. Now I’m a Senior Citizen. I’m still an old fart whichever way you look at it ---
**Author:** ![Mr\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9dc877/32.png) [@Mr\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr_Jim)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2007, 9:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-favorite-euphemistic-job-titles/426586/50 "2007-11-17T09:47:10Z")
Funnily enough, I was just having a laugh about this last night. I work in the Facilities Department for one of The Big Four accounting firms. I am an Administrator for a subcontractor. I do administration which encompasses invoicing, reports, purchasing, hr, and general office duties. Simple enough, eh? Nope, the other girls in facilities who basically photocopy and answer the phones: Facilities/Administration Co-ordinator. Support Analyst (answers the phones and checks facebook compulsively so not sure what she is analysing). Senior Administration Facilitator. I also love how people put Senior in front of their job title to add that extra bit of self importance. We have a “Project Manager” who is basically a male administrator with some procurement experience who insists on being referred to as the _Senior_ Project Manager. We all take the piss out of him behind his back and once when he tried to wiggle out of something in front of the boss he got a stern reprimand in the form of " As a _Senior_ Project Manager I would have expected you to know that." Or glorified team leaders being made into Managers. Or Managers who don’t actually manage anyone! I can see entry level jobs of the future: Senior Facilitating Administrative Co-ordinator Manager! The joys of working for a big corporate entity. :dubious: My flatmate also works for one of the Big Four and has a title that has nothing to do with her position: Project Co-ordinator. She works in Recruitment and Rentention and does events planning for new recruits and hosts giant parties for hundreds of people but you wouldn’t know from her title! ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2007, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-favorite-euphemistic-job-titles/426586/51 "2007-11-17T12:58:37Z")
Right now I’m a Net Resource Liability Specialist. …yeah, I’m unemployed. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2007, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-favorite-euphemistic-job-titles/426586/52 "2007-11-17T18:02:29Z")
I once read about a callgirl (a to-your-door sex worker) who carried business cards. The cards said she was an _Erection and Demolition Contractor._ You’ve heard the old joke about the _diesel fitter_, I guess. My dad used to joke about taking me to the _tonsorial parlor_ to get a haircut. Actually, a _tonsure_ is that shaved-at-the-top cut that monks used to get. There’s a lovely (for the boss) little loophole in US law that says, if you’re a _manager_, you don’t have to paid a higher rate for overtime. That’s why fast-food joints now call the head burger wrangler a _manager_. It sounds great until you get your paycheck. All this florilocution seeps into everything. Even the macho, blue-collar field of trucking is now _logistics._ ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2007, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-favorite-euphemistic-job-titles/426586/53 "2007-11-19T17:38:48Z")
[QUOTE=AskNott] All this florilocution seeps into everything. Even the macho, blue-collar field of trucking is now _logistics._ [/QUOTE] When I used to work at one of the Big-4 as a management consultant, we had a group that did “supply chain logistics”. Basically they were trucking guys and they dressed like Sopranos extras with the gold chains and whatnot. We used to joke about them “yo!!..Senior Manager Rocko! Senior Manager Knuckles! Help the good Chield Operations Officer finds his wallet!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-favorite-euphemistic-job-titles/426586.md?page=2)