# Share your offensive jokes. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 30, 2012, 10:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403 "2012-04-30T10:18:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Stelios](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8dc957/32.png) [@Stelios](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stelios)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2012, 10:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403/1 "2012-04-30T10:18:49Z")
Bad taste jokes. We all love 'em, even though we may draw the line at different places. Why not share some of your best truly tasteless jokes here? The only rule in this thread, is that anything goes. No joke is too sick :). I’ll start us off: What’s the difference between a Ferrari, and a pile of dead babies? I didn’t lose my virginity in a Ferrari. Why doesn’t Hitler drink tequila? Because it makes him mean. What’s the leading cause of paedophilia in the world today? Sexy kids. Your turn! ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2012, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403/2 "2012-04-30T12:11:10Z")
This is going to end very well. ---
**Author:** ![Lancia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lancia/32/17174_2.png) [@Lancia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lancia)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2012, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403/3 "2012-04-30T12:22:43Z")
What a wonderful way to start the morning. ---
**Author:** ![Stelios](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8dc957/32.png) [@Stelios](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stelios)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2012, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403/4 "2012-04-30T12:26:18Z")
Well, if it’s going to upset people I’ll ask the mods to close the thread. The impression I’ve got from other threads in the distant past, however, is that these sorts of threads are generally quite popular and give people a laugh, which is all I really want to do. I’ll not request it be closed yet. I’ll leave it a while to see how things pan out. But I’ll be keeping an eye on it. ---
**Author:** ![Stelios](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8dc957/32.png) [@Stelios](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stelios)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2012, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403/5 "2012-04-30T12:31:36Z")
For example, see these multi-page threads: [Morbid Jokes](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=466930&highlight=Jokes) - By Kozmik. [Offendapalooza - Let’s post our most tasteless jokes](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=560474&highlight=Jokes) - By ElvisL1ves. That’s all I’m trying to do here. ---
**Author:** ![MichaelEmouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michaelemouse/32/101_2.png) [@MichaelEmouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MichaelEmouse)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2012, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403/6 "2012-04-30T12:36:46Z")
> [@Stelios](#): > > Why doesn’t Hitler drink tequila? > > Because it makes him mean. Come on man, no Nazi or Holocaust jokes. You can’t make jokes about stuff like that. My own grandfather died in Auschwitz. He fell off a watch tower. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2012, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403/7 "2012-04-30T13:28:30Z")
> [@MichaelEmouse](#): > > Come on man, no Nazi or Holocaust jokes. You can’t make jokes about stuff like that. My own grandfather died in Auschwitz. He fell off a watch tower. Already we could have a winner! I’m pretty sure there are at least two other threads than those linked to by **Stelios** where I added some pretty crass material. I love sick, dirty, twisted and mean jokes and tell them to little old ladies at every opportunity. (I don’t have many little old lady friends, but WTF! 😃 ) To me, a laugh is a laugh, no matter how I get it. So if we’re voting, I vote to leave the thread alone and add to it. Even if it’s links to older threads where other jewels abide. ---
**Author:** ![smsaks2000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbe5ce/32.png) [@smsaks2000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smsaks2000)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2012, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403/8 "2012-04-30T13:39:46Z")
What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes? Nothing…she didnt listen the first two times you told her. What’s strong enough for a man but made for a woman? The back of my hand. What’s the difference between an Ethiopian and a pair of pants? The pants only have one fly on them. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dc4da7/32.png) [@The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Man_With_The_Golden_Gun)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2012, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403/9 "2012-04-30T13:42:36Z")
Here’s a couple of the more offensive ones I’ve heard this week: Did you hear the Norwegian Court accepted Anders Behring Breivik’s claim that he shot the kids on that island in self defense? It turns out they were all wearing hoodies. Why is Joseph Kony unique among black people? He _does_ wants children. And another I just remembered: What’s al-Qaeda’s favorite football team? The New York Jets. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2012, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403/10 "2012-04-30T14:15:44Z")
Well, let me just tip the offensiveness scale with this one: What’s the difference between Sarah Palin’s mouth and her vagina? Only _one_ retarded thing has come out of her vagina. ---
**Author:** ![Stelios](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8dc957/32.png) [@Stelios](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stelios)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2012, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403/11 "2012-04-30T14:31:40Z")
My son was tested for autism today. Turns out he’s just a cunt. ---
**Author:** ![Cryptic\_C62](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@Cryptic\_C62](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cryptic_C62)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2012, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403/12 "2012-04-30T14:45:50Z")
Q: What’s the difference between Jews and salad? A: You don’t cook salad. Q: How many babies does it take to paint a barn? A: It depends how hard you throw 'em. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dc4da7/32.png) [@The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Man_With_The_Golden_Gun)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2012, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403/13 "2012-04-30T15:12:08Z")
When do you take a baby out of the microwave? When you’re done jacking off. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2012, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403/14 "2012-04-30T15:38:41Z")
Not offensive, merely tasteless: What’s the opposite of Christopher Reeve? Christopher Walken ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2012, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403/15 "2012-04-30T15:48:14Z")
How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just beat the room for being black. ---
**Author:** ![Snickers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Snickers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snickers)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2012, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403/16 "2012-04-30T17:12:11Z")
A couple was out for a drive. She leaned her head onto his shoulder, looked up at him, and asked sweetly, “Honey, what’s a pedophile?” “That’s an awfully big word for an 8-year-old,” he responded. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2012, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403/17 "2012-04-30T17:47:27Z")
I had forgotten [Some Joke Threads](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=576075) where I had done a bit of collecting threads with jokes back on 08-27-2010. One post: the OP. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2012, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403/18 "2012-04-30T18:17:52Z")
What’s worse than ants in the pants? Uncles. ---
**Author:** ![california\_jobcase](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@california\_jobcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/california_jobcase)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2012, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403/19 "2012-04-30T18:28:29Z")
Why are there so many battered women and children nowadays? _ **Because they just don’t listen!!** _ (smack fist in hand for emphasis) Why do they call it PMS? Mad cow disease was taken. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2012, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403/20 "2012-04-30T18:56:53Z")
What’s the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas don’t scream when you put them in the oven. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403.md?page=2)