# Share your offensive jokes. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 30, 2012, 10:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403 "2012-04-30T10:18:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2012, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403/201 "2012-11-30T03:19:34Z")
Why did the LA County Sheriff’s stop painting “Call 911” on the side of their patrol cars? The gangbangers in East LA kept stealing them thinking they were Porsches. ---
**Author:** ![Dallas\_Jones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dallas_jones/32/3277_2.png) [@Dallas\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dallas_Jones)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2012, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403/202 "2012-11-30T06:15:32Z")
Guy comes home and walks into the house carrying a sheep under his arm. His wife is standing there. Guy: “This is the pig I’ve been fucking.” Wife: “That isn’t a pig, it’s a sheep.” Guy: “I wasn’t talking to you.” ---
**Author:** ![Zyanthia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Zyanthia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyanthia)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403/203 "2012-12-04T13:53:20Z")
A politically in-correct commercial idea: Cast: A children’s party clown, with lots of balloon animals on him. The Scene: The clown is dancing down a hallway looking into the windows on doors. Every time he looks in he laughs, and pops a balloon and says, “No party for you!” Cut to the Geico guys and they do their spiel about being happy switching to Geico. “How happy are they?” “Happier than a disgruntled clown in an abortion clinic.” ---
**Author:** ![HubZilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ccd318/32.png) [@HubZilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HubZilla)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403/204 "2012-12-04T19:16:28Z")
How do you get a one-armed Polack out of a tree? Wave How do you get a black man out of a tree? Cut the rope Who killed more Indians than Custer? Union Carbide Did you hear about the earthquake in Haiti? Thousands of homes destroyed. Damages are estimated at $48 ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403/205 "2012-12-04T19:49:47Z")
What do you get if you cross an elephant with a canary? A happy canary with a big hole in it. Why should you wrap your hamster with duct tape? So it won’t explode when you fuck it. ---
**Author:** ![cjepson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@cjepson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cjepson)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403/206 "2012-12-04T21:46:40Z")
What do [insert favorite ethnicity here] women put behind their ears to attract men? Their ankles. ---
**Author:** ![black\_rabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f19dbf/32.png) [@black\_rabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/black_rabbit)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403/207 "2012-12-04T22:41:56Z")
How do you get a redneck to give his dog a blowjob? Put ranch dressing on its dick. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403/208 "2012-12-04T23:28:52Z")
OMG, **Zyanthia** , I could hear it just perfectly in my mind. Thanks for a great laugh, you sick bastard(ette?)! ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403/209 "2012-12-05T05:55:22Z")
A man comes home after work one day, only to find his girlfriend packing her bags. He: “Honey, what’s wrong? Please, won’t you give us a chance?” She: “I just found out that you’re a pedophile!” He: “Well, that’s an _awfully_ big word for a nine year old!” ---
**Author:** ![yanceylebeef](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yanceylebeef/32/12290_2.png) [@yanceylebeef](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yanceylebeef)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403/210 "2012-12-05T18:49:37Z")
Tampax has announced they will be replacing the string in Tampons with tinsel, but only for the Christmas period. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403/211 "2012-12-05T19:54:08Z")
One possible defense against rape is to beat off the attacker. ---
**Author:** ![taskmgr.exe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@taskmgr.exe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/taskmgr.exe)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403/212 "2012-12-05T19:56:28Z")
I didn’t read any of posts in this thread any will never share any offensive joke because I am essentially and inherently a nice and kind person. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2012, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403/213 "2012-12-06T00:06:59Z")
> [@taskmgr.exe](#): > > I didn’t read any of posts in this thread any will never share any offensive joke because I am essentially and inherently a nice and kind person. And if I replied as I am tempted to, I’d receive a warning. Imagine threadshitting in a thread like this?!? ETA: reported. ---
**Author:** ![momosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@momosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/momosa)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2012, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403/214 "2012-12-06T00:49:16Z")
Hey man, you remember the jet sons right? What’s the name of the dad? George jets on , right! The mom? Jane , right ! You’re getting the hang of this … What was the boy’s name and his dog too? Elroy was the boy and astro was his dog, right! …name the black kid now. …waiting …still waiting …remember one? NOPE !! Cause there was none on the Jetsons!! …what’s that tell us about the future? ---
**Author:** ![taskmgr.exe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@taskmgr.exe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/taskmgr.exe)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2012, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403/215 "2012-12-06T01:04:43Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > And if I replied as I am tempted to, I’d receive a warning. Imagine threadshitting in a thread like this?!? > > ETA: reported. Do you mean I did a threadshitting to this thread :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2012, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403/216 "2012-12-06T01:15:06Z")
> [@taskmgr.exe](#): > > Do you mean I did a threadshitting to this thread :dubious: Duh. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![taskmgr.exe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@taskmgr.exe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/taskmgr.exe)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2012, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403/217 "2012-12-06T01:22:05Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Duh. :rolleyes: You don’t have sense of humor like mine, do you? ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2012, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403/218 "2012-12-06T01:43:16Z")
> [@taskmgr.exe](#): > > You don’t have sense of humor like mine, do you? Nope. **kayaker** is funny. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2012, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403/219 "2012-12-06T01:49:57Z")
**taskmgr.exe** , if you don’t want to participate in a thread, don’t. Coming in to say you’re too good to participate is threadshitting. If you thought you were making a joke, you failed. Use smileys or other indicators as necessary when you are joking. No warning issued. **twickster** , MPSIMS moderator ---
**Author:** ![taskmgr.exe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@taskmgr.exe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/taskmgr.exe)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2012, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403/220 "2012-12-06T01:51:16Z")
But smileys and other indicators spoil the joke. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403.md?page=12)