# Share your offensive jokes. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 30, 2012, 10:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403 "2012-04-30T10:18:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![toofs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4491bb/32.png) [@toofs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/toofs)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403/121 "2012-05-09T01:27:13Z")
What do white guys and fences have in common? They both get jumped by Mexicans. ---
**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403/122 "2012-05-09T02:03:55Z")
> [@Stauderhorse](#): > > What’s the difference between peanut butter and jam? > > I can’t peanut butter my dick up your ass. Barney telling Lily this joke, and her horrified reaction, is how a pregnant Alyson Hannigan was written out of HIMYM temporarily. ---
**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403/123 "2012-05-09T02:09:02Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > And _poof_ Michael Jackson appeared? Or some punch line like that, right? Pretty much! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403/124 "2012-05-09T02:10:44Z")
I’m familiar with the Jonestown Massacre, but could someone explain the joke? ---
**Author:** ![Capt\_Kirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@Capt\_Kirk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt_Kirk)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403/125 "2012-05-09T02:28:57Z")
> [@etv78](#): > > I’m familiar with the Jonestown Massacre, but could someone explain the joke? Took a second look for me too… They waited in line for the punch:smack: ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403/126 "2012-05-09T02:29:52Z")
> [@etv78](#): > > I’m familiar with the Jonestown Massacre, but could someone explain the joke? At Jonestown, they distributed the poison (cyanide, I think) in Kool-Aid. Aka “punch”. ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403/127 "2012-05-09T02:31:00Z")
**Zulema** , thanks for the knitting joke. I just wish I could think of some of my fellow knitters I could tell that to… ---
**Author:** ![partlycloudy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/partlycloudy/32/3114_2.png) [@partlycloudy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/partlycloudy)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403/128 "2012-05-09T02:43:13Z")
America should really fund more research into a cure for pancreatic cancer. It’s a real Jobs killer. ---
**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403/129 "2012-05-09T02:44:59Z")
> [@Capt\_Kirk](#): > > Took a second look for me too… > > They waited in line for the punch:smack: That’s rough! (not unfunny, just rough) ---
**Author:** ![Capt\_Kirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@Capt\_Kirk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt_Kirk)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403/130 "2012-05-09T21:34:45Z")
> [@etv78](#): > > That’s rough! (not unfunny, just rough) I don’t think there was a way to explain that joke without the answer being rough, I am open to suggestions though ---
**Author:** ![codgerone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c37758/32.png) [@codgerone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/codgerone)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2012, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403/131 "2012-05-10T18:35:01Z")
I had sex with my girlfriend last night and the police got really annoyed. Apparently I was only meant to identify the body. ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2012, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403/132 "2012-05-12T00:47:34Z")
**The 5 shortest books in the world:** 1. Irish Cuisine 2. Polish Dictionary 3. Italian War Heroes 4. Jewish Business Ethics 5. Blacks I’ve Met While Yachting Hey, it’s tough to offend so many groups in one joke. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2012, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403/133 "2012-05-12T01:04:49Z")
I couldn’t help it, after breakfast, I absolitely had to have my way with my wife. Unfortunately, we’ve been banned from IHOP. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2012, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403/134 "2012-05-12T16:44:06Z")
> [@JKellyMap](#): > > I take it these are meant to be a satire of some notion of Estonia as cold, and its inhabitants as sad. > > I thought the jokes were hilarious…BUT… > > I visited Estonia 10 years ago (in the summer, admittedly), and guess what – nothing but happy, gorgeous, colorful young people (or so it seemed), enjoying life and sunshine and joy. So, maybe some other, truly drab/dour culture should be lampooned for these jokes. Any suggestions? Yes. How 'bout Estonia? ---
**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2012, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403/135 "2012-05-12T17:12:06Z")
> [@handsomeharry](#): > > Yes. How 'bout Estonia? I think the joke is set during Communism. ---
**Author:** ![Sarabellum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sarabellum/32/3492_2.png) [@Sarabellum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarabellum)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2012, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403/136 "2012-05-12T17:12:40Z")
> [@etv78](#): > > Farrah Fawcett arrives at the pearly gates. St Peter tells her,“Farrah, you’ve live an exampleary life, I’ll give 1 last wish before you pass through.” > > Farrah replies,“I just want all the children in the world to be safe.” I don’t get it… someone enlighten me? ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2012, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403/137 "2012-05-12T17:15:54Z")
Do you know what Cinderella said when she got to the ball?? _gagchokegag_ Much better with actual sound effects. ---
**Author:** ![JoseB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/joseb/32/1530_2.png) [@JoseB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoseB)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2012, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403/138 "2012-05-12T18:48:53Z")
> [@Sarabellum1976](#): > > I don’t get it… someone enlighten me? Farrah Fawcett died just before (like, one day before, or perhaps even the same day) as Michael Jackson… ---
**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2012, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403/139 "2012-05-12T19:00:50Z")
> [@JoseB](#): > > Farrah Fawcett died just before (like, one day before, or perhaps even the same day) as Michael Jackson… Mere hours. ---
**Author:** ![PlainJain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5daacb/32.png) [@PlainJain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlainJain)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2012, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403/140 "2012-05-14T05:06:01Z")
Sarabellum1976, > [@etv78](#): > > Farrah Fawcett arrives at the pearly gates. St Peter tells her,“Farrah, you’ve live an exampleary life, I’ll give 1 last wish before you pass through.” > > Farrah replies,“I just want all the children in the world to be safe.” So God killed Michael Jackson. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-offensive-jokes/620403.md?page=8)