# Share your stupid coworker stories **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 18, 2009, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-stupid-coworker-stories/489902 "2009-03-18T17:00:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2009, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-stupid-coworker-stories/489902/61 "2009-03-23T02:17:37Z")
The IT department at work spent years developing a GPS tracking system for distribution personnel. Web-based, real-time, all the hot buzzwords, which allowed both our clients to watch their product get delivered and our managers the ability to track distributors and physically inspect deliveries as they’re happening. However, they did this without really considering the realities of distribution and what it means to actively _track_ somebody out in the field. So they never bothered to contemplate a scaled-down, PDA version of their system and rolled this out in full-PC web interface mode. (Trust me, I’ve tried using this via a PDA: it’s impossible). So, to actually _inspect_ a distribution, you need your laptop to be next to you in the passenger seat, with a cellular data card (ours is Sprint) attached and connected to the network, your browser open, and the ability to navigate the interface with the laptop mouse-pad. While driving. * * * OK, so I get hired a month or so ago and I go on my first job this past week. I was given a laptop and data card for my trip, and I was off on my merry way. I get to my destination, attach the data card to the laptop, fire it up, only to watch the installation files being copied to my computer. This gets done, setup.exe starts to run, and I’m asked for the Administrator name and password. Which IT refuses to give me when I called them for it. So I was given a laptop that was unable to perform the most basic of corporate (at least, this company’s) functions, this function being developed by the IT department itself. Their response: “It’s your job to make sure your laptop works.” My rebuttal: “Bullshit. IT needs to supply equipment that can perform the company’s basic tasks. Yes, it’s my job to make sure I have the correct files, even the correct programs to do my work, but a data card is standard equipment for every manager-level employee and above: I should no more worry about the data card working as I should the keyboard.” * * * Our website isn’t SEO’d (Search Engine Optimized, in other words, it isn’t easy for Google, et al to index our site - so the search engines don’t. You type in the most obvious keywords used to describe our company and 20 pages won’t get you to it). Two weeks ago I wrote a memo suggesting code for optimization, so it wouldn’t take but 5-15 minutes to implement, but it’s still not SEO’d. I had the full code in there, so it was merely a matter of cut and pasting. I even told them where in the current code to place the new code. I even attached in the HTML file, with revisions made, for their review. All they had to do was upload it. Two weeks later it’s still not done. This one confuses me because the President of the company is all hot and bothered about the lack of our website on Google, etc, when he does web searches. The IT department knows that the Pres wants this done… but it’s still not done. Stupid. ---
**Author:** ![Arglefraster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3bc359/32.png) [@Arglefraster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arglefraster)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2009, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-stupid-coworker-stories/489902/62 "2009-03-23T18:53:45Z")
> [@niblet\_head](#): > > I have several co-workers that simply don’t get how to save a document to a file and then be able to find it again later. I work in technical support, and I get this one a lot. And then people get mad when I can’t find their files for them. I can show you how to use Windows Search to find files on your hard drive, and I can check the obvious places like your desktop and My Documents folder. Other than that, how am I supposed to know where you saved your file if you don’t? If you lose a book, do you call Barnes and Nobles to ask them where you put it? :mad: The story I came in here to post isn’t so much stupid as it is … weird. My boss asked me how to do something in Excel, and part of the instructions I gave him included right-clicking in a cell. Him: “I don’t right-click.” Me: “Er, why not?” Him: “Anything you can do by right-clicking you can do through the menu with only your left mouse button.” He’s right of course, at least for MS Office stuff, but why the flat-out refusal to right-click? It’s often faster than navigating through the menu. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2009, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-stupid-coworker-stories/489902/63 "2009-03-23T18:55:25Z")
> [@Arglefraster](#): > > I work in technical support, and I get this one a lot. And then people get mad when I can’t find their files for them. > > I can show you how to use Windows Search to find files on your hard drive, and I can check the obvious places like your desktop and My Documents folder. Other than that, how am I supposed to know where you saved your file if you don’t? If you lose a book, do you call Barnes and Nobles to ask them where you put it? :mad: > > The story I came in here to post isn’t so much stupid as it is … weird. My boss asked me how to do something in Excel, and part of the instructions I gave him included right-clicking in a cell. > > Him: “I don’t right-click.” > Me: “Er, why not?” > Him: “Anything you can do by right-clicking you can do through the menu with only your left mouse button.” > > He’s right of course, at least for MS Office stuff, but why the flat-out refusal to right-click? It’s often faster than navigating through the menu. Maybe he was a long-time Mac user freaked out by mice that have two buttons rather than one. ---
**Author:** ![Foxy40](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a9a28c/32.png) [@Foxy40](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Foxy40)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2009, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-stupid-coworker-stories/489902/64 "2009-03-24T22:52:18Z")
> [@Hi\_Neighbor](#): > > Wow, **Skald** , I kept thinking that the next example couldn’t possibly top the previous, but man, it just kept getting better and better! Taking an abbreviated lunch break is considered unprofessional? I bet a lot of companies would kill for their employees to make such noble sacrifices. When I read this I had two thoughts. One she takes her full hour and thinks it might look bad if someone else doesn’t take their full hour. Two, she doesn’t take a full hour and wants to look like the only one making the big sacrifice. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2009, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-stupid-coworker-stories/489902/65 "2009-03-24T23:59:29Z")
> [@Foxy40](#): > > When I read this I had two thoughts. One she takes her full hour and thinks it might look bad if someone else doesn’t take their full hour. Two, she doesn’t take a full hour and wants to look like the only one making the big sacrifice. She’s salaried. She’s not punching a time clock, and nobody’s checking that I know of. And people in the sales department are specifically allowed to set their own schedules, so long as they don’t come in on Sundays, work exactly 40 hours a week, and maintain their productivity and sales goals (i.e., make the minimum average numbers of calls per day, and sell stuff). But this woman’s a twit. Some of her salespeople do what I used to do: make calls like mad all morning long to guarantee that they had met the productivity goal, then work in the afternoon on sales proposals, research, and the like. I’ve known her to chastise employees for not making calls in the late afternoon (because they were doing such things) when they not only were ahead of the curve on the productivity side, but also on the sales side. ---
**Author:** ![DrCube](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a3d4f5/32.png) [@DrCube](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrCube)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2009, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-stupid-coworker-stories/489902/66 "2009-03-25T01:22:53Z")
A girl in my platoon had to be separated from the Army during the second week of basic training when she discovered that we would be handling guns. Apparently she was a pacifist! :smack: ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2009, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-stupid-coworker-stories/489902/67 "2009-03-25T02:48:52Z")
> [@DrCube](#): > > A girl in my platoon had to be separated from the Army during the second week of basic training when she discovered that we would be handling guns. Apparently she was a pacifist! :smack: Now _that_ is stupid. I think you win this thread, hands down. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2009, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-stupid-coworker-stories/489902/68 "2009-03-25T05:17:57Z")
> [@DrCube](#): > > A girl in my platoon had to be separated from the Army during the second week of basic training when she discovered that we would be handling guns. Apparently she was a pacifist! :smack: Maybe the recruiter told her that she could just [do germ warfare testing.](http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/amex/weapon/program/weapon_08_trans.html) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2009, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-stupid-coworker-stories/489902/69 "2009-03-25T07:30:35Z")
> [@Arglefraster](#): > > I work in technical support, and I get this one a lot. And then people get mad when I can’t find their files for them. > > I can show you how to use Windows Search to find files on your hard drive, and I can check the obvious places like your desktop and My Documents folder. Other than that, how am I supposed to know where you saved your file if you don’t? If you lose a book, do you call Barnes and Nobles to ask them where you put it? :mad: > > The story I came in here to post isn’t so much stupid as it is … weird. My boss asked me how to do something in Excel, and part of the instructions I gave him included right-clicking in a cell. > > Him: “I don’t right-click.” > Me: “Er, why not?” > Him: “Anything you can do by right-clicking you can do through the menu with only your left mouse button.” > > He’s right of course, at least for MS Office stuff, but why the flat-out refusal to right-click? It’s often faster than navigating through the menu. He might have arthritis or some other problem with his middle finger. Or he might have a problem in his brain. You’d be in a better position to know than anyone here. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2009, 7:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-stupid-coworker-stories/489902/70 "2009-03-25T07:32:20Z")
> [@DrCube](#): > > A girl in my platoon had to be separated from the Army during the second week of basic training when she discovered that we would be handling guns. Apparently she was a pacifist! :smack: I’ll see your :smack: and raise you a :rolleyes: , 😕 , and a :eek: . Just what the hell did she think she was getting into, the Peace Corps? ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2009, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-stupid-coworker-stories/489902/71 "2009-03-25T07:45:00Z")
> [@DrCube](#): > > A girl in my platoon had to be separated from the Army during the second week of basic training when she discovered that we would be handling guns. Apparently she was a pacifist! :smack: A female friend of mine was so afraid of her weapon during basic training, she refused to use the firing range unless her boyfriend was there with her to hold her hand. So they sent him over. ---
**Author:** ![DrCube](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a3d4f5/32.png) [@DrCube](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrCube)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2009, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-stupid-coworker-stories/489902/72 "2009-03-25T12:22:54Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > I’ll see your :smack: and raise you a :rolleyes: , 😕 , and a :eek: . Just what the hell did she think she was getting into, the Peace Corps? She signed up to be a medic. I think her recruiter told her she would just work in a hospital and wouldn’t have to do any of that unpleasant soldiering stuff. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2009, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-stupid-coworker-stories/489902/73 "2009-03-25T12:32:43Z")
We have a new office assistant. I’ve trained her in our complicated system, and answered the same questions over and over. No problem; as I said, the system is complicated. But yesterday? She had to make a phone call, and the line was busy. \*She asked me what she should do. \* Line busy. What to do? 😕 Call back later? ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2009, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-stupid-coworker-stories/489902/74 "2009-03-25T14:37:16Z")
> [@DrCube](#): > > She signed up to be a medic. I think her recruiter told her she would just work in a hospital and wouldn’t have to do any of that unpleasant soldiering stuff. I sense she had seen the 80s version of the GI Joe cartoon, which included a character named Life Guard, or Life Jacket, or Earth Hippie, or something, who was both a pacifist and in the Army. He too was a medic. ---
**Author:** ![Foxy40](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a9a28c/32.png) [@Foxy40](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Foxy40)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2009, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-stupid-coworker-stories/489902/75 "2009-03-25T15:34:55Z")
There were so many stupid things through the years but this one still gets to me. The staff decided to buy a cake and card for the owner of the company I manage for his birthday. After the party they came to me with a receipt wanting to get reimbursed by the owner for the cost of the cake and the card. Yes, they wanted the owner to buy his own cake and card. Their reasoning was “Well, he buys a cake for everyone else.” I ended up giving them the money out of my own pocket. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2009, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-stupid-coworker-stories/489902/76 "2009-03-25T15:40:30Z")
> [@Foxy40](#): > > There were so many stupid things through the years but this one still gets to me. The staff decided to buy a cake and card for the owner of the company I manage for his birthday. After the party they came to me with a receipt wanting to get reimbursed by the owner for the cost of the cake and the card. > > Yes, they wanted the owner to buy his own cake and card. > > Their reasoning was “Well, he buys a cake for everyone else.” > > I ended up giving them the money out of my own pocket. Well, they actually wanted to EAT some free cake. The card was just part of the excsue. ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2009, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-stupid-coworker-stories/489902/77 "2009-03-25T16:56:20Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I sense she had seen the 80s version of the GI Joe cartoon, which included a character named Life Guard, or Life Jacket, or Earth Hippie, or something, who was both a pacifist and in the Army. He too was a medic. There was also that TV show that was jumping on the _Platoon_ bandwagon… It was called _Tour of Duty_. There was a medic character, nicknamed “Doc” of course, played by John Dye, and when they introduced him on the show, they made a point that as a medic he never had to carry a weapon (he was otherwise a concientious objector). It became a somewhat significant plot point in other episodes. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2009, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-stupid-coworker-stories/489902/78 "2009-03-25T17:59:30Z")
17 years in IT, I’ve seen all these stupid computer stories and more. Instructions to old 5.25" floppies said to take them out of the sleeve. Meaning the paper sleeve they were stored in. Some people ripped them apart to get at the little disk inside, then wondered why they didn’t work. Magnets to keep _magnetic_ disks in a safe place. Check. Folding floppies to fit them in a mailbox. Now I do tech support and see even more. People who are plainly too stupid to own a computer. The co-worker next to me (typing this while he’s busy) has been late or called in so many times that he’s basically at “final warning” for absenteeism. He originally worked 12-8:30 with a half hour lunch, but changed to 11:30-8:30 to have an hour lunch. Now he’s 5-10 minutes late _every single day_. When I suggested that he go back to the noon start time, he said “That’s a good idea, then I can sleep later.” **No, dumbass, so you can be here on time!** ---
**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2009, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-stupid-coworker-stories/489902/79 "2009-03-25T18:44:29Z")
Our IT dept, assumedly harried with too many calls about slow network performance on the company intranet, has added a popup internet explorer screen that says: “The network is functioning properly, please continue while your next browser window opens automatically” :smack: The network performs so well, in fact, that it flashes and disappears like a subliminal message. It took me several times of “what the hell was that?” to even be able to read the entire “all is fine” warning screen 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2009, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-stupid-coworker-stories/489902/80 "2009-03-25T22:22:13Z")
Managing a Summer School for English language students, we had daily new intakes of students who had to take a written test to decide which class they were suitable for (with me doing speaking tests as well). The teachers’ duties included marking these papers. Many of them were really annoyed that I didn’t give them an answer sheet. I did give them a guidance sheet for how to mark the extended writing section, but the rest of it was easily answerable by any native English speaker. It was actually much quicker to mark subsequent tests if you knew what the answers were supposed to be rather than just reading mindlessly off a sheet. I was pretty dumbfounded to be confronted by EFL teachers who wasn’t sure whether to mark ‘I has gone to the shops’ as right or wrong. Also, it’s pronunciation, not pronounciation. If you’re teaching people how to pronounce words in English, you really ought to know how to pronounce pronunciation. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-stupid-coworker-stories/489902.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-stupid-coworker-stories/489902.md?page=5)