# Share your stupid coworker stories **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 18, 2009, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-stupid-coworker-stories/489902 "2009-03-18T17:00:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2009, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-stupid-coworker-stories/489902/81 "2009-03-25T22:55:08Z")
Oh, stupid _IT_ stories… One: “Larry, this computer doesn’t work at all! I can’t access my files!” “Seems okay to me, what are you trying to do?” **START --\> PROGRAM FILES --\> MICROSOFT ACCESS FILE --\> OPEN --\> MY DOCUMENTS --\> LETTER.DOC** “You can’t open a Word document with Access.” “But I want to _Access_ my files!” Also, when we replaced all of our remaining CRTs with LCD monitors, I had one user who insisted that this change “messed up” her computer. For _weeks_… Not saying that things _displayed_ differently, mind - every day, some new user-related idiocy, _“because of this monitor!”_ ---
**Author:** ![Daylate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9dc877/32.png) [@Daylate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daylate)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2009, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-stupid-coworker-stories/489902/82 "2009-03-25T23:20:01Z")
For some hilarious instances of rampant stupidities involving computers, check this out: [http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid/](http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid/) ---
**Author:** ![Oslo\_Ostragoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a9a28c/32.png) [@Oslo\_Ostragoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oslo_Ostragoth)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2009, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-stupid-coworker-stories/489902/83 "2009-03-26T06:36:09Z")
> [@Daylate](#): > > For some hilarious instances of rampant stupidities involving computers, check this out: > > [http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid/](http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid/) Umm, maybe you could link some examples. ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2009, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-stupid-coworker-stories/489902/84 "2009-03-26T13:54:54Z")
I have some old ones. My first real job, I was told to load several hundred boxes of paper files onto a set of steel shelves in a storage room. The shelves were completely full of stored boxes of paper already. So I asked my boss what I should do with the material already on the shelves – throw it out? Ship it somewhere? She insisted that _nothing_ be done with it – it was to remain right where it was – and the new boxes were _also_ to go into the same space. Uh, I said, trying to be diplomatic, there’s no free space at all – they can’t fit. Her reply was the classic “Why are you giving me trouble about this? Just do it!” Apparently that pesky law of physics, two objects not being able to occupy the same space at the same time, is MY fault – now you know who to blame. Ulitmately, I did exactly nothing at all, and the issue was forgotten. That same company used to regularly ship a fifty-pound box of completed paperwork every week to a long-term storage facility, where it would sit for seven years in case an audit happened. That’s all that it was saved for – to sit in a dusty warehouse for seven years. Every week they shipped the box out on Friday – by FedEx overnight express, paying extra for Saturday delivery. This was back when FedEx was newer and not as routine; the company didn’t have a discounted account, and as a result paid something exorbitant like $70-90 for this shipment. The box would then sit at the warehouse until someone came in Monday morning to file it. This became one of my assignments, so I asked if I could slow-boat it using UPS and save a ton of cash. The request was denied – the box had to be there immediately, so that it could commence sitting undisturbed for seven years. ---
**Author:** ![crazyjoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f14d63/32.png) [@crazyjoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crazyjoe)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2009, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-stupid-coworker-stories/489902/85 "2009-03-26T15:28:29Z")
That one doesn’t sound so stupid. Depending on the type of info you were storing, there migh tbe increasing liability concerns the longer it was in the hands of a third-party courrier. Your first example is pretty dumb, though. ---
**Author:** ![Tool\_of\_the\_Conspiracy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@Tool\_of\_the\_Conspiracy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tool_of_the_Conspiracy)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2009, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-stupid-coworker-stories/489902/86 "2009-03-26T15:51:55Z")
> [@DrCube](#): > > She signed up to be a medic. I think her recruiter told her she would just work in a hospital and wouldn’t have to do any of that unpleasant soldiering stuff. There was a guy from my high school who signed up to be in the Army Band, and had an unpleasant surprise when Gulf War I came… ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2009, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-stupid-coworker-stories/489902/87 "2009-03-27T01:01:35Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > Instructions to old 5.25" floppies said to take them out of the sleeve. Meaning the paper sleeve they were stored in. Some people ripped them apart to get at the little disk inside, then wondered why they didn’t work. Yes, I’ve seen that too. But the best in this line was the call where I had to remove about four 5.25" floppies all stuffed into a drive. True, the installations instructions didn’t explicitly _say_ to remove floppy 1 before inserting floppy 2, but really … ---
**Author:** ![flodnak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/838e76/32.png) [@flodnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flodnak)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2009, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-stupid-coworker-stories/489902/88 "2009-03-27T13:18:56Z")
It’s a long story, but my coworker left an unattended tealight that started a small fire inside a glass candle holder. In a daycare. When I saw it, I told another coworker to keep the kids away, then ran to the nearest sink, soaked a hand towel that was hanging there, wrung it out, and threw it over the candle. The fire went right out, to the chorus of OOOooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOooooooOOO! from the kids. The coworker responsible for the candle came in again just as the situation was resolved, and I told her what happened, rather curtly. She answered, in a calm voice, that, yes, of course, tealights could cause fires, “but only small fires, not big ones.” I felt much better about the children’s safety when she decided to part company with our daycare program. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2009, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-stupid-coworker-stories/489902/89 "2009-03-27T16:01:50Z")
Joy, I have a fresh “IT-stupid story”. (Not an actual stupid co-worker, actually a generally bright guy.) Anyway:Buddy comes to me with a USB dongle-ish thingy. “Larry, I can’t get this thumb drive to work. Whenever I take it out and put it in, it says ‘USB Device found,’ but the drive doesn’t show up anywhere.” I look at the device, and say “This isn’t a thumb drive, it’s the transceiver for your wireless mouse.” “Oh, okay. Anyway, while I’m here, can you come and look at my computer? My mouse keeps freezing up, for some reason.” “While you’re trying to get your ‘thumb drive’ to work?” “Yeah.” “This isn’t a thumb drive, _it’s the transceiver for your wireless mouse._” (Thing is, all of our desktops are corded - if he has a wireless mouse, it’s because he brought it in himself.) 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Black\_Sunshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ce73a5/32.png) [@Black\_Sunshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Black_Sunshine)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2009, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-stupid-coworker-stories/489902/90 "2009-03-27T16:31:47Z")
> [@SylverOne](#): > > Two of my coworkers believe that any file type can be opened with Word or Excel. > > Open Word or Excel. > Go to File, then Open. > Look for file. > Keep looking for file. > Look some more. > Call me because they can see the file, but cannot open it, or they get an error. > I connect into their system, look up file, and find out it’s a PDF, or a DAT or some Powerpoint slideshow of puppies and kittens they got in an email. > Bang my head on my desk. > Repeat process every 2 weeks or so. 80% of my coworkers do this, except they don’t go so far as to try opening it in Excel. When they can’t find a file, they insist, “I saved it in Word.” Folders and subfolders are absolutely confounding, as is the concept that files don’t actually “live” in Word. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2009, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-stupid-coworker-stories/489902/91 "2009-03-27T16:44:13Z")
> [@Black\_Sunshine](#): > > 80% of my coworkers do this, except they don’t go so far as to try opening it in Excel. When they can’t find a file, they insist, “I saved it in Word.” Folders and subfolders are absolutely confounding, as is the concept that files don’t actually “live” in Word. When I was in college ten zillion years ago, WordPerfect rather than Word was the dominant word processing program. If I recall aright, its default was to save all documents in a sub-directory of WordPerfect. I can imagine someone getting used to that in the early 90s and being a little surprised that Word was not the same. ---
**Author:** ![Martiju](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e8c25b/32.png) [@Martiju](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martiju)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2009, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-stupid-coworker-stories/489902/92 "2009-03-27T16:47:34Z")
> [@Larry\_Mudd](#): > > My motto is _ **I SHALL RULE YOU, FOR I AM OF MEDIAN INTELLIGENCE!** _ I am so stealing this! Never a truer word spoken… ---
**Author:** ![Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carol_the_Impaler)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2009, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-stupid-coworker-stories/489902/93 "2009-03-27T17:43:33Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > When I was in college ten zillion years ago, WordPerfect rather than Word was the dominant word processing program. If I recall aright, its default was to save all documents in a sub-directory of WordPerfect. I can imagine someone getting used to that in the early 90s and being a little surprised that Word was not the same. At this point, that really doesn’t make them any _less_ of a moran, though. 😉 In **15 years** , they haven’t been able to figure it out??? ---
**Author:** ![PeskiPiksi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e495f1/32.png) [@PeskiPiksi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PeskiPiksi)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2009, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-stupid-coworker-stories/489902/94 "2009-03-27T17:54:27Z")
This is my sister’s story, but it always cracks me up: She was a lowly admin assistant, tasked to walk the company CEO through using some new software. So she’s standing over his desk, they’ve got the program open, and she tells him to “right-click.” So he pulls out a pen and grabs a sticky-note and \*writes \*“click.” “Okay, now what?” I don’t know how she contained the laughter. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/share-your-stupid-coworker-stories/489902.md?page=4)