# SHARK! WALLYMART! SHARK! WALLYMART! SHARK! Newslink. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 12, 2017, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shark-wallymart-shark-wallymart-shark-newslink/782004 "2017-03-12T17:26:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2017, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shark-wallymart-shark-wallymart-shark-newslink/782004/1 "2017-03-12T17:26:38Z")
A 5 foot shark was found in a Wal-Mart parking lot, miles from the Ocean. > **[Watch: Florida deputies probe dead shark in Walmart parking lot - UPI.com](https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2017/03/10/Dead-shark-in-Florida-Walmart-parking-lot-baffles-investigators/3551489155937/)** > > A Florida sheriff's office is investigating a bizarre discovery -- a dead shark in the parking lot of a St. Augustine Walmart. > [@](#): > > The St. Johns County Sheriff’s Office said an assistant store manager called authorities March 3 after employees found the dead shark near an RV in the parking lot – five miles from the nearest beach. > > Deputy Blake Gruny arrived on the scene and spoke with the employees, who said they called authorities because they were unsure of whether they should just throw the carcass in the trash. > > “I observed a dead shark approximately 4 to 5 feet long in a shopping cart,” Gruny wrote in his report. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2017, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shark-wallymart-shark-wallymart-shark-newslink/782004/2 "2017-03-12T17:44:39Z")
Best line. > [@](#): > > He wrote the shark was found in a “suspicious circumstance.” I guess there were no tornadoes in the area. ---
**Author:** ![The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_King_of_Soup)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2017, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shark-wallymart-shark-wallymart-shark-newslink/782004/3 "2017-03-12T20:35:51Z")
This is actually wonderful. The first dead shark was dumped on the hood of an RV in the middle of the night, like the racehorse’s head on Jackie Woltz’s pillow. The owner of the RV, with typical West Virginian aplomb, took it off the hood and laid it on the ground and went about his business (from the link). _But_, when the cops got there, the shark was in a shopping cart. So. Who _was_ the Wal-Mart shopper whose first thought, (I’m assuming, “Hey, free dead shark,”) segued into the decision to take the shark for a ride somewhere in a shopping cart, and then almost immediately changed his/her mind? Because I haven’t met enough Wal-Mart shoppers yet, I have to believe it was whoever was originally tasked with dumping the _second_ shark, the North Beach shark, the one the reporter inexcusably buried at the end of the story. This guy was obviously cheaping it out on the sharks, trying to get twice the shark-dumping mileage out of a single cartilaginous corpse. But it eventually became clear that pushing a shark in a shopping cart from a St. Augustine Wal-Mart to North Beach was infeasible, so a fresh one was procured. ---
**Author:** ![mind\_the\_gap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ea666f/32.png) [@mind\_the\_gap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mind_the_gap)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2017, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shark-wallymart-shark-wallymart-shark-newslink/782004/4 "2017-03-12T22:19:54Z")
Florida has a firm grip on strange shit. My first thought on seeing the thread title was “Florida”. I hereby propose that the OP’s title be adopted as that state’s new motto. ---
**Author:** ![Trancephalic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trancephalic/32/380_2.png) [@Trancephalic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trancephalic)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2017, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shark-wallymart-shark-wallymart-shark-newslink/782004/5 "2017-03-12T23:44:07Z")
It’s a little known fact that sharks can smell even a small bargain from hundreds of miles away ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2017, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shark-wallymart-shark-wallymart-shark-newslink/782004/6 "2017-03-12T23:53:52Z")
I fully expect this incident to be adapted as a plot point in one of Tim Dorsey’s Serge Storms novels. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2017, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shark-wallymart-shark-wallymart-shark-newslink/782004/7 "2017-03-12T23:59:50Z")
> [@The\_King\_of\_Soup](#): > > _But_, when the cops got there, the shark was in a shopping cart. So. Who _was_ the Wal-Mart shopper whose first thought, (I’m assuming, “Hey, free dead shark,”) segued into the decision to take the shark for a ride somewhere in a shopping cart, and then almost immediately changed his/her mind? Well, a good portion of shark is cartilage; no bones about it. 😛 -d&r- ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2017, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shark-wallymart-shark-wallymart-shark-newslink/782004/8 "2017-03-13T00:00:38Z")
“Candygram.” ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2017, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shark-wallymart-shark-wallymart-shark-newslink/782004/9 "2017-03-13T00:12:12Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > “Candygram.” You wins da Interwebs, Young Webelo.