# Shaving your nuts with a cheese grater **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 20, 2017, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaving-your-nuts-with-a-cheese-grater/791751 "2017-07-20T19:54:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2017, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaving-your-nuts-with-a-cheese-grater/791751/21 "2017-07-21T16:27:50Z")
I got tired of shaving my face every day, takes forever, so I switched to using a propane torch. HOWEVER you need to be careful and keep the bright blue part of the flame away from your nostrils. And speaking of nostrils, do not try to depilate your nose by spraying starting fluid up there and sparking them with a Bic lighter. ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2017, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaving-your-nuts-with-a-cheese-grater/791751/22 "2017-07-21T18:00:46Z")
> [@Bootis](#): > > If you wash your hair in a public urinal, remove the urinal cake prior to shampooing, or it will leave your hair brittle and lifeless. And remember: even though they may sound delicious, urinal cakes shouldn’t be eaten. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2017, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaving-your-nuts-with-a-cheese-grater/791751/23 "2017-07-21T18:41:12Z")
> [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](#): > > And remember: even though they may sound delicious, urinal cakes shouldn’t be eaten. …because they will leave _you_ brittle and lifeless. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2017, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaving-your-nuts-with-a-cheese-grater/791751/24 "2017-07-21T19:20:10Z")
> [@August\_West](#): > > I got tired of shaving my face every day… ♬ _He never shaved the whiskers from off his horny hide But he’d pound them in with a hammer, then bite them off inside_ ♬ ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2017, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaving-your-nuts-with-a-cheese-grater/791751/25 "2017-07-21T19:30:13Z")
Your teeth are basically like tiles, right? And Comet is a tile cleaner. I was at Walmart and I saw I can buy Comet for less than half of what I pay for Crest. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2017, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaving-your-nuts-with-a-cheese-grater/791751/26 "2017-07-21T19:32:55Z")
Dremmel Tool for home dentistry. Save big money! ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2017, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaving-your-nuts-with-a-cheese-grater/791751/27 "2017-07-21T19:51:22Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Your teeth are basically like tiles, right? And Comet is a tile cleaner. I was at Walmart and I saw I can buy Comet for less than half of what I pay for Crest. No joke, but I knew a guy who claimed to use polishing abrasive to clean his teeth. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2017, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaving-your-nuts-with-a-cheese-grater/791751/28 "2017-07-21T19:57:10Z")
When I’m hard of hearing and I need a little thrill I gently clean my ears with an air drive hammer drill. ---
**Author:** ![Murph1111](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@Murph1111](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Murph1111)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2017, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaving-your-nuts-with-a-cheese-grater/791751/29 "2017-07-21T20:30:02Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > A better way would be to sit on a piece of cheese, and swallow a live rat. > > (Peanut butter also works, and you can use a mouse if a rat is too big.) “I would like to buy a gerbil…” “Um, I don’t know, Mr. Gere …” “Strictly for medicinal purposes, of course.” “Alrighty, then!” ---
**Author:** ![Alonzo\_John\_Blitz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@Alonzo\_John\_Blitz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alonzo_John_Blitz)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2017, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaving-your-nuts-with-a-cheese-grater/791751/30 "2017-07-21T21:28:11Z")
Thank you all for your comments. These seem like tips anyone can use as they jaunt down Dysmorphia Blvd. I woke up this morning with an eyelash on my eyeball. The dust-buster made quick work of that. Bonus - I now have a monocular view of my feet without looking down! ---
**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2017, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaving-your-nuts-with-a-cheese-grater/791751/31 "2017-07-21T21:58:12Z")
> [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](#): > > And remember: even though they may sound delicious, urinal cakes shouldn’t be eaten. I think by now everyone knows you’re supposed to crush them and use to brush your teeth. ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2017, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaving-your-nuts-with-a-cheese-grater/791751/32 "2017-07-21T22:13:23Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Super-gluing your hair in place saves you the price of a new comb or brush…and it stays clean and shiny for _months_. Isn’t that called the “Donald Trump Method”? ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2017, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaving-your-nuts-with-a-cheese-grater/791751/33 "2017-07-21T22:31:22Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > Dremmel Tool for home dentistry. Save big money! There is an explicit warning against that in the user’s manual. What someone must have done that one time… Although, the pedicure place uses a Dremel for those callousy areas. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2017, 8:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaving-your-nuts-with-a-cheese-grater/791751/34 "2017-07-23T08:00:33Z")
> [@Teuton](#): > > I read a story a while about a guy who was pleasuring himself on some industrial machinery (as you do) when it slipped and ripped his scrotum open, and he stapled it shut with a staple gun. > > And to my surprise, it’s actually true! Snopes link in the spoiler box, as it is very much a nsfw read, although there aren’t any photos. > > [http://www.snopes.com/medical/emergent/stapled.asp](http://www.snopes.com/medical/emergent/stapled.asp) I love that link so much that the next time my aunt posts a terrifying clickbait headline on Facebook, one that just DEMANDS a good snopes-ing, that’s going up there. Of course, being the upright citizen that I am, I will also post the one that actually debunks the clickbait. ---
**Author:** ![Alonzo\_John\_Blitz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@Alonzo\_John\_Blitz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alonzo_John_Blitz)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2017, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaving-your-nuts-with-a-cheese-grater/791751/35 "2017-07-25T17:42:28Z")
I was rummaging through the subbasement for items to sell at last weekend’s yard sale when I chanced upon the the Victorian cast iron fireplace tongs I had used to remove my tonsils… well, tonsils/tongue… what am I, an Otolaryngologist? Mithtaketh happen. Fetched $16.00 from lovely lesbian couple opening a B and B in upstate Kansas. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2017, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaving-your-nuts-with-a-cheese-grater/791751/36 "2017-07-25T19:52:19Z")
Your tongue did? Must have been Jagger-like. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2017, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaving-your-nuts-with-a-cheese-grater/791751/37 "2017-07-25T20:01:48Z")
You can’t get a tan from the radiant heat of a toaster oven, no matter how long you leave your arm there covered in baby oil. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2017, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaving-your-nuts-with-a-cheese-grater/791751/38 "2017-07-25T20:16:59Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > You can’t get a tan from the radiant heat of a toaster oven, no matter how long you leave your arm there covered in baby oil. You’ll be wanting to bypass the safety features of a microwave oven if you want that “All Over, Inside And Out” tan that is so fashionable these days. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2017, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaving-your-nuts-with-a-cheese-grater/791751/39 "2017-07-25T20:46:32Z")
Neutralize your stomach acid by eating sodium hydroxide. © **femmejean** (ret.) ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2017, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaving-your-nuts-with-a-cheese-grater/791751/40 "2017-07-25T21:52:55Z")
> [@Alonzo\_John\_Blitz](#): > > I was rummaging through the subbasement for items to sell at last weekend’s yard sale when I chanced upon the the Victorian cast iron fireplace tongs I had used to remove my tonsils… well, tonsils/tongue… what am I, an Otolaryngologist? > > Mithtaketh happen. > > Fetched $16.00 from lovely lesbian couple opening a B and B in upstate Kansas. Where do they live? I need to borrow it for my [uvula](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=831831). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaving-your-nuts-with-a-cheese-grater/791751.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaving-your-nuts-with-a-cheese-grater/791751.md?page=3)