# She keeps telling me she used to be in AS/400, I keep telling her I used to be a paratrooper **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 13, 2011, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-keeps-telling-me-she-used-to-be-in-as-400-i-keep-telling-her-i-used-to-be-a-paratrooper/578286 "2011-04-13T21:50:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2011, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-keeps-telling-me-she-used-to-be-in-as-400-i-keep-telling-her-i-used-to-be-a-paratrooper/578286/1 "2011-04-13T21:50:40Z")
In Outlook, go to File, Data File Management, Add, OK, then paste the below link into the File name field: As most of you don’t know, when I’m not gladiating intergalactically, I’m an IT technician at a pretty big sales company. I have a coworker here in sales who keeps telling me that she used to be an AS/400 support specialist at her former job. Seriously, every time I see her, she tells me this. Every time. She started back in 2006 and the first time I saw her, the conversation went something like this: Her: So I need a keyboard tray and a special keyboard because of my wrist. Me: Oh OK. Her: I used to be in AS/400 support. I thought it was just me, but several months later I stopped by her desk or her neighbor’s desk to work on some issue and she was in the middle of chatting up her neighbor and sure enough, she mentioned about 5 or 6 times that she used to be in IT and she used to do AS/400. Another coworker here works as an AS/400 specialist used to be her coworker, so sometimes she mixes it up and says that she used to be in AS/400 and she used to work with this guy (I’ll call him Guy). I kid you not, ladies and genialmen. She does this to not only me, but my fellow IT techs as well, so at one point I joked with my fellow techs that every time she tells me that, I’m going to tell her that I used to be an Airborne paratrooper (which I was, this isn’t some kind of elaborate lie or anything). I’ve done this on a handful of occasions now and during one conversation with her, I matched her phrase for phrase 3 or 4 times until I just couldn’t keep a straight face any more. We just traded our alleged catchphrases once again this afternoon. I haven’t seen her in several months and sure enough when she stopped by my desk to ask me something, she mentioned that she used to be in AS/400 and she used to work with Guy. I replied that I used to be an Airborne paratrooper and she looked at me baffled for but a moment, the told me that was very impressive. She doesn’t otherwise show any autistic or savant-like qualities. She is friendly and talks and interacts with everyone in a normal fashion. She’s a bit messy at her desk, but she otherwise appears absolutely normal. So my question is, am I a jerk and/or will I be a jerk if I continue to do this or is this kind of funny and/or maybe she will figure out what I’m doing or should I just give up because it really doesn’t seem that funny anymore or something else? ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2011, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-keeps-telling-me-she-used-to-be-in-as-400-i-keep-telling-her-i-used-to-be-a-paratrooper/578286/2 "2011-04-13T21:58:49Z")
I vote very funny. Keep doing it and report back regularly. ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2011, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-keeps-telling-me-she-used-to-be-in-as-400-i-keep-telling-her-i-used-to-be-a-paratrooper/578286/3 "2011-04-13T22:04:07Z")
> [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](#): > > In Outlook, go to File, Data File Management, Add, OK, then paste the below link into the File name field: :smack: Doh! Igore this. I was walking someone through adding an archive folder and it got pasted into my post somehow. Or use it so you know how to add an archive in Outlook if you need. :smack: And I neglected to mention that she used to be in AS/400 at a different company. That adds a bit to the story. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2011, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-keeps-telling-me-she-used-to-be-in-as-400-i-keep-telling-her-i-used-to-be-a-paratrooper/578286/4 "2011-04-13T22:14:56Z")
I thought your opening line was all about establishing mood. ---
**Author:** ![sleestak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/919ad9/32.png) [@sleestak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sleestak)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2011, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-keeps-telling-me-she-used-to-be-in-as-400-i-keep-telling-her-i-used-to-be-a-paratrooper/578286/5 "2011-04-13T22:49:50Z")
The only fitting response to the statement > [@](#): > > I use to be an AS/400 support specialist in my former job is ‘I am sorry. Deeply and truly sorry.’ But what you are doing sounds fun as well. Slee Yes, I do work with AS/400s. Hate the things. ---
**Author:** ![dawson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@dawson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dawson)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2011, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-keeps-telling-me-she-used-to-be-in-as-400-i-keep-telling-her-i-used-to-be-a-paratrooper/578286/6 "2011-04-13T23:00:33Z")
I vote yes it’s funny as hell and no don’t stop and yes your sortof a jerk. Please update as necessary. ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2011, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-keeps-telling-me-she-used-to-be-in-as-400-i-keep-telling-her-i-used-to-be-a-paratrooper/578286/7 "2011-04-13T23:05:07Z")
Reminds me of the “Former Federal Agent” guy from **Survivor**. (I’ve never seen Survivor, but **The Soup** loves him). Morbo, former CICS programmer, Lite Brite Power User. ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2011, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-keeps-telling-me-she-used-to-be-in-as-400-i-keep-telling-her-i-used-to-be-a-paratrooper/578286/8 "2011-04-13T23:07:14Z")
Isn’t it obvious? She’s totally hot for you and trying to impress you with her tech savvy. I say go for it. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2011, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-keeps-telling-me-she-used-to-be-in-as-400-i-keep-telling-her-i-used-to-be-a-paratrooper/578286/9 "2011-04-14T00:31:15Z")
I don’t understand why people start threads about some obscure acronym and then never even attempt to explain what it is. Not even a link to Wikipedia. I’m totally lost here. Yeah, I googled it. Okay. Still not understanding the big joke about AS/400. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2011, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-keeps-telling-me-she-used-to-be-in-as-400-i-keep-telling-her-i-used-to-be-a-paratrooper/578286/10 "2011-04-14T00:31:43Z")
> [@Shoeless](#): > > Isn’t it obvious? She’s totally hot for you and trying to impress you with her tech savvy. I say go for it. > > 😃 And…is she hot? ---
**Author:** ![dawson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@dawson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dawson)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2011, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-keeps-telling-me-she-used-to-be-in-as-400-i-keep-telling-her-i-used-to-be-a-paratrooper/578286/11 "2011-04-14T01:19:13Z")
> [@Argent\_Towers](#): > > I don’t understand why people start threads about some obscure acronym and then never even attempt to explain what it is. Not even a link to Wikipedia. > > I’m totally lost here. > > Yeah, I googled it. Okay. Still not understanding the big joke about AS/400. I haven’t a cluse what it is either. But it’s really irrelevant. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Bumbazine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbazine/32/362_2.png) [@Bumbazine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbazine)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2011, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-keeps-telling-me-she-used-to-be-in-as-400-i-keep-telling-her-i-used-to-be-a-paratrooper/578286/12 "2011-04-14T02:02:34Z")
An AS/400 is a mid-range computer from IBM. Most of them are bigger than a breadbox. BTW, I used to be a Senior Programmer/Analyst on AS/400s. Wish I still was. I really liked those big pay checks. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2011, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-keeps-telling-me-she-used-to-be-in-as-400-i-keep-telling-her-i-used-to-be-a-paratrooper/578286/13 "2011-04-14T02:13:40Z")
I was an ace fighter pilot once. That was before I was an AS/400 specialist. ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2011, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-keeps-telling-me-she-used-to-be-in-as-400-i-keep-telling-her-i-used-to-be-a-paratrooper/578286/14 "2011-04-14T02:19:52Z")
I’d start making the stories even more exaggerated. Paratrooper Pilot Spaceman Senator etc ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2011, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-keeps-telling-me-she-used-to-be-in-as-400-i-keep-telling-her-i-used-to-be-a-paratrooper/578286/15 "2011-04-14T02:20:35Z")
I work for a pharmaceutical company and we still use the AS/400 in one of our most critical divisions. I am the IT wizard that gets called to fix just about anything with just a hair clip if I have to but I don’t have access to the AS/400. We have a whole team of offshore people to support it but I don’t think any of them have any idea what it does or what it could be potentially used for. There must be a picture of one in an old Indian IT book so a few of them put it on their resume and promptly got hired. Serious problems bounce around for days while people scratch their head and mumble gibberish on conference calls with nothing being done. Just last week, I found one guy, JUST ONE, in Argentina that knew what he was doing and he fixed several things right away. It broke again today but he was off so I guess people won’t be getting their body parts for surgery until he gets back from wherever they head off to in Argentina this time of year. ---
**Author:** ![Bumbershoot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbershoot/32/3428_2.png) [@Bumbershoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbershoot)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2011, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-keeps-telling-me-she-used-to-be-in-as-400-i-keep-telling-her-i-used-to-be-a-paratrooper/578286/16 "2011-04-14T02:20:47Z")
Next time she says it, tell her “What a coincidence! When I was a paratrooper, I jumped out of an AS 400!” ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2011, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-keeps-telling-me-she-used-to-be-in-as-400-i-keep-telling-her-i-used-to-be-a-paratrooper/578286/17 "2011-04-14T02:34:03Z")
[Amazon has noticed something which may be relevant.](http://i40.tinypic.com/2h7qdxi.png) ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2011, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-keeps-telling-me-she-used-to-be-in-as-400-i-keep-telling-her-i-used-to-be-a-paratrooper/578286/18 "2011-04-14T02:51:37Z")
[QUOTE=Morbo] Morbo, former CICS programmer, Lite Brite Power User. [/QUOTE] Why former? I’m sure we could use a couple people who actually know CICS and Top Secret. As for the AS/400, yeah, my response would be along the lines of “Oh, I’m so sorry.” Fun Fact: On June 21, 1988, IBM introduced the Application System/400. 98% of the AS/400 applications ever used were simply adapted from the System/36 and have never been updated since then, other than some Y2K patching. Just kidding, of course, but seriously - why does so much AS/400 stuff look so old? ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2011, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-keeps-telling-me-she-used-to-be-in-as-400-i-keep-telling-her-i-used-to-be-a-paratrooper/578286/19 "2011-04-14T02:57:25Z")
> [@Shoeless](#): > > Isn’t it obvious? She’s totally hot for you and trying to impress you with her tech savvy. I say go for it. > > 😃 Eh… I’d rather not. My wife looks like a cross between Annette Benning and Big Barda and despite being an Intergalactic Gladiator, I’m not willing to cross her even if AS/400 gal had it all going on. > [@Argent\_Towers](#): > > I don’t understand why people start threads about some obscure acronym and then never even attempt to explain what it is. Not even a link to Wikipedia. > > I’m totally lost here. > > Yeah, I googled it. Okay. Still not understanding the big joke about AS/400. [iSeires](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IBM_System_i), probably doesn’t help. My company uses the AS/400 network to generate sales orders, pull stock, run queries, and stuff like that. The joke isn’t so much that it’s AS/400 itself, more that she keeps saying it. > [@Autolycus](#): > > And…is she hot? I don’t think so. She’s too short and too wide for me, she has a nice face though. As I mentioned before, she’s also fairly messy – she uses a special keyboard that kind of looks like it came off a Transformers arm and it has crumbs and crud all over it. When we did upgrades last year, we made the new guy replace her PC. On top of that, she’s the type who will stop you and tell you all her problems (after mentioning that she did AS/400 in her previous job), then tell you she’s too busy and has too much stuff on her desktop to let you troubleshoot it. All that equals dealbreaker even if I weren’t already married. > [@RandMcnally](#): > > I’d start making the stories even more exaggerated. > > Paratrooper > Pilot > Spaceman > Senator > etc Space cowboy Intergalactic Gladiator Multiversal Linchpin unlicenced mammologist Guy in charge of collecting elephant sperm for reproductive purposes… ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2011, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-keeps-telling-me-she-used-to-be-in-as-400-i-keep-telling-her-i-used-to-be-a-paratrooper/578286/20 "2011-04-14T03:41:59Z")
Open Word, go to Office Button, Word Options, Proofing, AutoCorrect Options, Auto Correct tab, then put “AS” in the Replace field and then paste the below text into the With field: - have I told you I used to be in AS/400 support?\* [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-keeps-telling-me-she-used-to-be-in-as-400-i-keep-telling-her-i-used-to-be-a-paratrooper/578286.md?page=2)