# She keeps telling me she used to be in AS/400, I keep telling her I used to be a paratrooper **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 13, 2011, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-keeps-telling-me-she-used-to-be-in-as-400-i-keep-telling-her-i-used-to-be-a-paratrooper/578286 "2011-04-13T21:50:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2011, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-keeps-telling-me-she-used-to-be-in-as-400-i-keep-telling-her-i-used-to-be-a-paratrooper/578286/21 "2011-04-14T04:14:17Z")
> [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](#): > > Guy in charge of collecting elephant sperm for reproductive purposes… Man, you must have some interesting conversations with the guy in charge of collecting elephant sperm for NON-reproductive purposes. I used to operate reactors on nuclear submarines. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2011, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-keeps-telling-me-she-used-to-be-in-as-400-i-keep-telling-her-i-used-to-be-a-paratrooper/578286/22 "2011-04-14T04:16:30Z")
When she’s not looking rekey her hot key’s so they paste: “I use to be an AS/400 specialist” every time. ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2011, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-keeps-telling-me-she-used-to-be-in-as-400-i-keep-telling-her-i-used-to-be-a-paratrooper/578286/23 "2011-04-14T14:09:34Z")
> [@Rhythmdvl](#): > > Open Word, go to Office Button, Word Options, Proofing, AutoCorrect Options, Auto Correct tab, then put “AS” in the Replace field and then paste the below text into the With field: > > - have I told you I used to be in AS/400 support?\* Took me a second there. > [@Magiver](#): > > When she’s not looking rekey her hot key’s so they paste: “I use to be an AS/400 specialist” every time. That’s not a bad idea. The downside to this is that we would then get more cases from her. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2011, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-keeps-telling-me-she-used-to-be-in-as-400-i-keep-telling-her-i-used-to-be-a-paratrooper/578286/24 "2011-04-14T14:12:10Z")
Ask her how many VAXes she personally killed. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2011, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-keeps-telling-me-she-used-to-be-in-as-400-i-keep-telling-her-i-used-to-be-a-paratrooper/578286/25 "2011-04-14T14:19:51Z")
> [@sleestak](#): > > The only fitting response to the statement > > is ‘I am sorry. Deeply and truly sorry.’ > > But what you are doing sounds fun as well. > > Slee > > Yes, I do work with AS/400s. Hate the things. > [@gotpasswords](#): > > Why former? I’m sure we could use a couple people who actually know CICS and Top Secret. > > As for the AS/400, yeah, my response would be along the lines of “Oh, I’m so sorry.” > > Fun Fact: On June 21, 1988, IBM introduced the Application System/400. 98% of the AS/400 applications ever used were simply adapted from the System/36 and have never been updated since then, other than some Y2K patching. > > Just kidding, of course, but seriously - why does so much AS/400 stuff look so old? The AS400 is still being made but under a new name. I believe the current name is the Series I but iSeries was an intermediate name. They are really powerful, energy efficient work horses that work great. I still program mostly in the Green Screen world of the past but we also do a lot of very sharp and quick web programming. The box will run UNIX or Windows along with the OS400. It is a true 24x7x365 machine and far easier to support then any Unix box I dealt with and of course almost anything is better then MS Server systems. There is a huge amount of web based apps though running off the AS400 and probably this is just not realized. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2011, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-keeps-telling-me-she-used-to-be-in-as-400-i-keep-telling-her-i-used-to-be-a-paratrooper/578286/26 "2011-04-14T15:19:16Z")
I like the “oh, I’m so sorry, response.” But on a serious note, are you guys perhaps coming off as patronizing? This may be her way of saying “look, don’t start by telling me to reboot my goddamn PC, I already did that. And, yes, I cleared my browser cache, too. And it still doesn’t work!” I used to be technical - I’m not terribly anymore. But I often start my calls with the Comcast support group with “internet no worky” - then say “I rebooted my switch and the modem, I can ping both those, and if I try to tracert to yahoo, it stops at this IP address - which I think is a hut over in Oakdale because that’s what you told me last time.” Because otherwise, they say “have you rebooted your PC? How about your modem? How about the switch?” ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2011, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-keeps-telling-me-she-used-to-be-in-as-400-i-keep-telling-her-i-used-to-be-a-paratrooper/578286/27 "2011-04-14T15:46:08Z")
The title of this thread keeps making me think of the song Taxi by Harry Chapin. ---
**Author:** ![MoodIndigo1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e8c25b/32.png) [@MoodIndigo1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MoodIndigo1)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2011, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-keeps-telling-me-she-used-to-be-in-as-400-i-keep-telling-her-i-used-to-be-a-paratrooper/578286/28 "2011-04-14T15:53:51Z")
Funny story. A guy I know asks me every time we meet, and about a dozen times an evening if the meeting lasts, if he told me about his trip to France with WWII veterans. I answer “yes” every time, but he still tells me the whole story. His wife says it’s dementia, not sure if it’s Alzheimer’s. ---
**Author:** ![ratatoskK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ratatoskk/32/2987_2.png) [@ratatoskK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ratatoskK)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2011, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-keeps-telling-me-she-used-to-be-in-as-400-i-keep-telling-her-i-used-to-be-a-paratrooper/578286/29 "2011-04-14T16:55:46Z")
> [@Derleth](#): > > [Amazon has noticed something which may be relevant.](http://i40.tinypic.com/2h7qdxi.png) :p:D:p:D ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2011, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-keeps-telling-me-she-used-to-be-in-as-400-i-keep-telling-her-i-used-to-be-a-paratrooper/578286/30 "2011-04-14T17:55:29Z")
BTW, anyone else see the thread title and think Country Music Awards song of the year? ---
**Author:** ![gurujulp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ba9def/32.png) [@gurujulp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gurujulp)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2011, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-keeps-telling-me-she-used-to-be-in-as-400-i-keep-telling-her-i-used-to-be-a-paratrooper/578286/31 "2011-04-14T18:08:41Z")
> [@](#): > > Amazon has noticed something which may be relevant. > [@ratatoskK](#): > > :p:D:p:D For those of us who have no access at work, can you summarize? Thank you! ---
**Author:** ![redtail23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/3e96dc/32.png) [@redtail23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/redtail23)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2011, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-keeps-telling-me-she-used-to-be-in-as-400-i-keep-telling-her-i-used-to-be-a-paratrooper/578286/32 "2011-04-14T18:14:06Z")
Although I agree that your response is rather amusing, it doesn’t seem to be working. Perhaps when she says that, you should cock your head a bit and look at her quizzically, then say “How nice for you” in a slightly puzzled yet dismissive tone. Just a suggestion. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2011, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-keeps-telling-me-she-used-to-be-in-as-400-i-keep-telling-her-i-used-to-be-a-paratrooper/578286/33 "2011-04-14T19:54:37Z")
> [@gurujulp](#): > > For those of us who have no access at work, can you summarize? > > Thank you! Sure: Amazon recommends the book “Reducing Stress-related Behaviours In Persons With Dementia” based on a prior purchase of “Starter Kit for the IBM iSeries and AS/400”. ---
**Author:** ![gurujulp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ba9def/32.png) [@gurujulp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gurujulp)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2011, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-keeps-telling-me-she-used-to-be-in-as-400-i-keep-telling-her-i-used-to-be-a-paratrooper/578286/34 "2011-04-14T19:57:44Z")
> [@derleth](#): > > sure: > > amazon recommends the book “reducing stress-related behaviours in persons with dementia” based on a prior purchase of “starter kit for the ibm iseries and as/400”. awesome :d:d ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2011, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-keeps-telling-me-she-used-to-be-in-as-400-i-keep-telling-her-i-used-to-be-a-paratrooper/578286/35 "2011-04-14T20:46:56Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > I used to operate reactors on nuclear submarines. That sounds like the next line in the conversation would be: “I used to work in a Turkish prison. Until I developed my drinking problem.” ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2011, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-keeps-telling-me-she-used-to-be-in-as-400-i-keep-telling-her-i-used-to-be-a-paratrooper/578286/36 "2011-04-14T21:38:57Z")
> [@Scuba\_Ben](#): > > That sounds like the next line in the conversation would be: “I used to work in a Turkish prison. Until I developed my drinking problem.” Change “Turkish Prison” to either “blood bank” or “urine test facility”. ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2011, 8:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-keeps-telling-me-she-used-to-be-in-as-400-i-keep-telling-her-i-used-to-be-a-paratrooper/578286/37 "2011-04-15T08:54:26Z")
> [@gotpasswords](#): > > Why former? I’m sure we could use a couple people who actually know CICS and Top Secret.? Only b/c I haven’t had to use it since 1991. In 1992 I got hired by MS to program PPT, and I’m still there. MacBu since it was founded in 1996. Maybe after I retire this November I should start an “Ask the MS Evangelist” thread. ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2011, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-keeps-telling-me-she-used-to-be-in-as-400-i-keep-telling-her-i-used-to-be-a-paratrooper/578286/38 "2011-04-16T13:35:42Z")
> [@dawson](#): > > I vote yes it’s funny as hell and no don’t stop and yes your sortof a jerk. Please update as necessary. Quoting for truth. Yes you’re a jerk, but a funny one. Keep us posted. Hopefully she’ll ask you why you keep mentioning your past paratrooper experience unironically. ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2011, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-keeps-telling-me-she-used-to-be-in-as-400-i-keep-telling-her-i-used-to-be-a-paratrooper/578286/39 "2011-04-16T13:40:44Z")
For the record, I am working in AS/400 as I type this (running a query). 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Atomic\_Alex](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atomic_alex/32/175_2.png) [@Atomic\_Alex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atomic_Alex)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2011, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-keeps-telling-me-she-used-to-be-in-as-400-i-keep-telling-her-i-used-to-be-a-paratrooper/578286/40 "2011-04-18T03:03:46Z")
Just be careful, I once had a discussion with a colleague and for some reason we were talking about which of our fellow employees had military experience, so deciding to have a little fun at her expense I put on a serious face: “Jane, don’t tell anyone else but I used to be in the foreign legion” “What, really?!?” “Yeah, long time ago, but I don’t really like to talk about it” _cue a haunted expression hinting at the horrors of my dark and murky, but highly interesting and enigmatic past_ She took the hint and changed the subject and I pretty much forgot about it until over the next few days and weeks I noticed a change in my colleagues reactions to me, hushed conversations, strange looks and a newfound respect from man and woman alike, it didn’t quite click what had happened until I was cornered by a workmate who really _is_ ex-military and he started to ask about my past, luckily I managed to convince him that it was all a small joke gone horribly wrong and I wasn’t really trying to pass myself off as something I’m not! However despite my protestations and explanations to the contrary I still don’t think I’ve quite managed to convince everyone that I am not now, nor have I ever been in any branch of the military, never mind _La Legion_ :eek: 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-keeps-telling-me-she-used-to-be-in-as-400-i-keep-telling-her-i-used-to-be-a-paratrooper/578286.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-keeps-telling-me-she-used-to-be-in-as-400-i-keep-telling-her-i-used-to-be-a-paratrooper/578286.md?page=3)