# “She’s your daughter. Not your date” anti-incest billboards OK? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 23, 2016, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-s-your-daughter-not-your-date-anti-incest-billboards-ok/760648 "2016-07-23T02:27:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2016, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-s-your-daughter-not-your-date-anti-incest-billboards-ok/760648/81 "2016-07-27T07:20:35Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > The more I think about this the more I really don’t understand what the phrasing of the billboard is driving at. It made perfect sense to me at first, but trying to think outside of that experience, it seems like it would be really easy to interpret the phrasing as an attack on people who innocently go on dates with their daughters. I think my discomfort with the idea of daddy-daughter ‘‘dates’’ is more based on my own experience and maybe it should be an innocent thing. > > I now understand why people might take it more personally. > > I’m also trying to work out what sort of billboard _would_ be effective at preventing incest or helping incest victims. I got nothin’. Maybe something pointing to red flags for others to look for, or something like that. How about the basic “If you see something, say something” with lists of phone numbers? ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2016, 8:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-s-your-daughter-not-your-date-anti-incest-billboards-ok/760648/82 "2016-07-27T08:08:47Z")
> [@Urbanredneck](#): > > How about the basic “If you see something, say something” with lists of phone numbers? Possibly. When I went to social work school, I had a class with a rather controversial expert in child welfare policy. This was a while ago, but I learned some interesting stuff. Mandating reporting is already a thing in a lot of states - ‘‘If you see something, say something’’ is basically law for certain professions. But here’s the rub - the vast majority of child welfare cases that come in through mandated reporting are unfounded. That is, the majority do not find substantiated evidence to support allegations of abuse. I’m talking over 90%. Mandated reporting appears to make professionals paranoid about losing their jobs for not reporting the slightest suspicion and ties up the child welfare system with stupid bullshit. IIRC based on the research, the vast majority of substantiated cases of abuse or neglect came from _voluntary_ reporters, and usually were reported by multiple sources. This suggests that **Corry El** is right when he says there’s a balance we’ve gotta strike between awareness and paranoia. I’m guessing I’d set the bar much higher than he would for what constitutes ‘‘paranoia.’’ People expecting to be raped in public bathrooms by straight men pretending to be trans is paranoia. That’s not a thing that happens on a regular basis or probably ever. Rape in public bathrooms happens, but not nearly on the same scale as it happens at house parties and on dates and by \*members of the child’s own family. \* So statistically, it’s way more sensible to be paranoid about incest than some creeper on the playground. Would this sort of systemic problem of mandated reporting extend to a billboard to the general public asking for reports on a voluntary basis? How far is too far? Where does this fit with the evidence that bystander intervention is an effective prevention education method? I don’t know. Finding effective solutions is hard. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2016, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-s-your-daughter-not-your-date-anti-incest-billboards-ok/760648/83 "2016-07-27T14:39:23Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > Oh. Relevant bit of info we all seem to be missing here. I looked up the actual billboard. ‘‘She’s your daughter, not your date’’ is not the [full text of the billboard](https://sli.mg/veuwer3966.jpg). > > It says, ‘‘ **Getting drunk is never an excuse.** She’s your daughter, not your date.’’ > > That’s quite a different message, I think. Except, I’m not sure I understand the logic. Does that imply that getting drunk _is_ an excuse with an actual (non-daughter) date? ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2016, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-s-your-daughter-not-your-date-anti-incest-billboards-ok/760648/84 "2016-07-27T15:02:28Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > Except, I’m not sure I understand the logic. Does that imply that getting drunk _is_ an excuse with an actual (non-daughter) date? People may drink and have lowered inhibitions and have sex and it can still be consensual. It may be outside the norm of what you’d do if you were sober, but you can still say, ‘‘Well, I was drunk.’’ Obviously there is an extreme point of inebriation to which consent is not possible, but I’m guessing the billboard’s point is that there is no conceivable way in which sex between an adult man and his daughter can be consensual. I’m guessing part of the point is that sexual predators rationalize the hell out of their behavior. Most view the victim as at least partly responsible for what happened. The billboard, again, places the onus of responsibility on the perpetrator. I’m also guessing the billboard is targeted at raising awareness about the huge statistical correlation between alcohol and sexual assault. ---
**Author:** ![Kinthalis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kinthalis/32/16084_2.png) [@Kinthalis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kinthalis)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2016, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-s-your-daughter-not-your-date-anti-incest-billboards-ok/760648/85 "2016-07-27T15:22:36Z")
> [@Corry\_El](#): > > …goes back in a way to witch trials. You take something extremely bad (t **here were perhaps satanic cults doing unspeakably bad stuff to trigger witch hunts, if not actual black magic** )… What? ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2016, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-s-your-daughter-not-your-date-anti-incest-billboards-ok/760648/86 "2016-07-27T15:23:18Z")
\*Your drunkenness, as an excuse, won’t suffice Your _daughter_ was drunk? Sorry, also no dice! You claim you were hallucinating on shrooms? Well, stop doing shrooms in your young daughter’s room! Please stop rationalizing, thank you, Burma-Shave\* ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2016, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-s-your-daughter-not-your-date-anti-incest-billboards-ok/760648/87 "2016-07-27T15:30:30Z")
> [@Kinthalis](#): > > What? I think **Corry El** was describing the mentality of the people doing the witch hunts, not saying people were actually doing black magic. A real thing happened in the 80s or 90s (I can’t remember which decade) where a bunch of people were put on trial and punished for satanic ritual abuse at preschools. There is no evidence such a thing ever happened, unfortunately, kids are just highly suggestible when put on the witness stand and there was rampant, unfounded paranoia at the time about Satanic cults sexually abusing children. When children are sexually abused it’s not generally for Satan, just personal gratification or money. But child sex rings are definitely a thing and that is just as evil. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2016, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-s-your-daughter-not-your-date-anti-incest-billboards-ok/760648/88 "2016-07-27T15:45:33Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > If you’re really going for Burma-Shave-style authenticity, you need to post one line at a time. So, something like \*AT BEDTIME DO WHAT GOOD DADS DO DON’T TUCK YOURSELF IN HER BED TOO BURMA SHAVE\* ---
**Author:** ![madsircool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madsircool/32/3432_2.png) [@madsircool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madsircool)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2016, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-s-your-daughter-not-your-date-anti-incest-billboards-ok/760648/89 "2016-07-27T15:52:09Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > You use it as an opportunity for open communication with your child about abuse and inappropriate behavior. Incest doesn’t always involve parents or stepparents. It can be other relatives. Most children are abused by people they know and trust. Let’s shake on that! ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2016, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-s-your-daughter-not-your-date-anti-incest-billboards-ok/760648/90 "2016-07-27T16:05:13Z")
> [@Gyrate](#): > > So, something like […] Damn it, you’re much better at this. I’ll let you take over. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2016, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-s-your-daughter-not-your-date-anti-incest-billboards-ok/760648/91 "2016-07-27T16:22:13Z")
> [@Martian Bigfoot](#): > > Damn it, you’re much better at this. I’ll let you take over. I’m squicking myself out thinking of these. \*FATHER’S DAY WON’T RAISE A SMILE WHEN DADDY DEAR’S A PEDOPHILE BURMA SHAVE\* – \*HE SLEPT WITH HER BUT NOW WE’RE HOPIN’ DADDY SLEEPS WITH ONE EYE OPEN BURMA SHAVE\* – \*THINK INCEST ISN’T WORTH A FUSS? HOW’D THAT WORK OUT FOR OEDIPUS? BURMA SHAVE\* ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2016, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-s-your-daughter-not-your-date-anti-incest-billboards-ok/760648/92 "2016-07-27T16:40:16Z")
> [@Eliahna](#): > > “Let’s stop in the next town and grab some lunch” > \ > “Ok, the next town after this one”. “Oh, dad!” ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2016, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-s-your-daughter-not-your-date-anti-incest-billboards-ok/760648/93 "2016-07-27T18:39:44Z")
> [@madsircool](#): > > Let’s shake on that! Nothing to do with this thread. Drop it. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2016, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-s-your-daughter-not-your-date-anti-incest-billboards-ok/760648/94 "2016-07-27T18:57:35Z")
> [@Cub\_Mistress](#): > > I’ve worked in a high school, a jail, and am now working as a nurse so there may be some confirmation bias at work here, but I hear about incest with depressing frequency. One woman who was a jail inmate had been turned out to prostitution by her father after he “taught” her how to please men. She was 12.:eek: I personally reported a man who molested his own granddaughters and other girls and was criticized by family members of the perp who refused to believe a young girl outside the family who disclosed to me. Fuck them. Yes, we all agree. But do you really think a _billboard_ will make those pervos change their ways? The issues isnt whether child molestation is wrong or bad. On that we all agree. But it is whether or not a billboard will help- and I think it’s worse than useless. ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2016, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-s-your-daughter-not-your-date-anti-incest-billboards-ok/760648/95 "2016-07-27T22:15:59Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > Yes, we all agree. But do you really think a _billboard_ will make those pervos change their ways? > > The issues isnt whether child molestation is wrong or bad. On that we all agree. > > But it is whether or not a billboard will help- and I think it’s worse than useless. No I single billboard won’t change anything. It rarely does. But as part of a larger campaign these billboards can help Shame can be very effective against some people. These billboards help send a message that other people in society condemn incestuous behavior with minor children. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2016, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-s-your-daughter-not-your-date-anti-incest-billboards-ok/760648/96 "2016-07-27T22:36:46Z")
> [@Chihuahua](#): > > I’ve known some cops who had pretty heinous stories about men who raped their daughters. I don’t recall any of them taking their victim out on a “date.” What, exactly, is the basis for this billboard? Does it actually reflect the way child rapists treat their children? > > > [@spamforbrains](#): > > > > Ditto. The slogan implies it’s ok to rape your date. Yeah. Sheesh. > [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > And conversely, wording like this seems to me to add an unnecessary overtone of creepiness to every father and daughter who have ever gone out and done something innocent together and called it a “date.” When my mother was out of the country, and I was staying with my father and brother between college semesters, I accompanied my father to a few university functions (he was a full professor), I was 19 and 20; I was sort of his date, or “Plus one,” or whatever (people didn’t put “Plus one” on invitations back then, but there was a sort of understanding that when Prof. & Prof. were invited, if one Prof. couldn’t make it, Miss was welcome), in lieu of my mother. It was totally not creepy or incestuous. There was another professor who was a widower who occasionally brought his oldest child as a “Plus one,” when that child was old enough to attend a college function, which is to say about 16, and at one point that child was his son. I don’t think they got a second look. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2016, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-s-your-daughter-not-your-date-anti-incest-billboards-ok/760648/97 "2016-07-28T03:26:53Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > These billboards help send a message that other people in society condemn incestuous behavior with minor children. And we condemn murder, rape, genocide, armed robbery, kidnapping… I dont think that is a message anyone has a problem knowing. It’s hardly a surprise. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2016, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-s-your-daughter-not-your-date-anti-incest-billboards-ok/760648/98 "2016-07-28T12:56:46Z")
I think I understand what the purpose of such a billboard is. It is not aimed at perps (who are unlikely to be influenced by billboards) and it is not aimed, particularly, at victims. It is aimed at people who are neither, and who probably never give the topic much thought. The purpose is to create unease (without being excessively graphic) and, so, to raise awareness of the problem; the idea is that ordinary people, who usually don’t think about incest, start thinking about it. I can applaud that, but I can also see the point of the business folks in the town who aren’t so keen on having that billboard on the road into town. They are concerned that the average visitor will not get the message ‘this is a caring community that thinks about, and so does something about, this widespread social problem that exists everywhere to an extent, but which often gets swept under the rug - but not, thankfully, here’. They are concerned that the average visitor will get the message ‘this is a community with a real problem with incest. You know all those stereotypes ignorant folk spread about small towns in this state? Well, they have a solid basis in truth’. I suppose it would be the same if the billboard was concerned with other social problems, like meth addiction: the town may well not want to be ‘tagged’ with that. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2016, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-s-your-daughter-not-your-date-anti-incest-billboards-ok/760648/99 "2016-07-28T13:09:06Z")
\*IF YOU THINK THIS BILLBOARD’S CREEPY KEEP YOUR GIRL FAR FROM YOUR PEEPEE BURMA SHAVE\* Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2016, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-s-your-daughter-not-your-date-anti-incest-billboards-ok/760648/100 "2016-07-28T19:59:46Z")
> [@drewder](#): > > It’s the next step. Already all men are treated as potential child molesters whom you must not leave alone with kids, now they’re not even safe with their own kids. I agree. Yet another way to bash men in general as depraved rapists and pedos. The bad guys out there make up a very tiny percentage of the male population. The overwhelming majority of men don’t need a billboard to tell us how to respect our daughters. The sickos aren’t going to be deterred by a billboard. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-s-your-daughter-not-your-date-anti-incest-billboards-ok/760648.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-s-your-daughter-not-your-date-anti-incest-billboards-ok/760648.md?page=6)