# She sent back the ring. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 24, 2005, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-sent-back-the-ring/305201 "2005-05-24T01:04:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-sent-back-the-ring/305201/21 "2005-05-24T19:09:06Z")
Ugh what’s this shit going around? My girlfriend of 3 years just called off things recently. I’m still in the catatonic grief stage, staring at the wall for hours at a time. I’ve been here before, so I know I’ll get through it, but boy are the next 6 months going to suck! Even though it seems like a million years from now, you’ll be alright one day Johnny. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-sent-back-the-ring/305201/22 "2005-05-24T19:18:46Z")
> [@World Eater](#): > > Ugh what’s this shit going around? My girlfriend of 3 years just called off things recently. Eh? Not the one you bought the barf-bags for? ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-sent-back-the-ring/305201/23 "2005-05-24T19:35:39Z")
> [@Inigo Montoya](#): > > Eh? Not the one you bought the barf-bags for? I kept them for myself. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-sent-back-the-ring/305201/24 "2005-05-24T19:53:33Z")
Just as well, I can see the thread title: “She sent back the barf bags.” Still, it’s gotta be tough to use a barf bag when you can’t eat. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-sent-back-the-ring/305201/25 "2005-05-24T20:10:38Z")
> [@Inigo Montoya](#): > > No. > > Keep the ring. Make it the object of your “Director’s Gimmic” as you make more mainstream films. Something like, within the first 10 minutes of the film, The Ring will be clearly visible on the hand of a woman who makes a horrible error in judgement and regrets it for the next 90 minutes as her cinematic life is drenched with personal trauma and downward emotional spirals into the abyss of despair. > > If you’re shooting a wedding, have an actress wearing the ring seen to be hiding under the stairs bawling her eyes out over a torn and ancient photo of the groom and \*her \*; If you’re doing an animal documentary, she gets stomped to death by a moose or mostly eaten by a rabid wolverine, or maybe she’s an angel who charms the lives of all she touches–but only accidentally, and only at tremendous personal cost. You see where this is going. Be subtle, but have fun with it. At least you found out BEFORE the wedding that she wanted to take another path, many of us weren’t so lucky. > > You’ll be alright. As much as I don’t want to believe in God I can’t help noticing that every painful event in my life was only painful because I allowed it to be so, and when I go past the hurt of transition it became clear to me that in order for the good things to come to me I had to lose “less good” things to make room or allow for the new opportunities. Ah, my idea for a director’s gimmic: Guy goes into a liquor store with tie losened around his neck. You can tell he just got off of work. Goes up to guy at counter. It’s apparent they know eachother. “Thanks for calling me. How much do I owe you today Al?” “Let’s see. Just one large bottle of Absolut.” “How much is that?” “$14.50.” Guy gives owner $14.50. Instead of a bottle af Absolut the clerk hands the man an engagement ring. Guy thanks the clerk again and leaves. Guy arrives home and when he goes into the living room his wife is passed out with the bottle. ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-sent-back-the-ring/305201/26 "2005-05-24T20:16:47Z")
> [@Inigo Montoya](#): > > Just as well, I can see the thread title: “She sent back the barf bags.” Still, it’s gotta be tough to use a barf bag when you can’t eat. They come in handy for the drinking though! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-sent-back-the-ring/305201/27 "2005-05-24T20:28:01Z")
Ah…so it’s still not too late to send her the barfbags ! ! ! ---
**Author:** ![cadolphin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c37758/32.png) [@cadolphin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cadolphin)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-sent-back-the-ring/305201/28 "2005-05-25T03:54:19Z")
Something concrete that really affirms it’s “over” is much harder to see at first then it is to hang on to the idea that there still might be a change. But in the long run… grieving, giving up on some fantasy and getting on with your life is better **John**. You know we care about you and will be here for you. Kathy ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-sent-back-the-ring/305201/29 "2005-05-25T04:55:44Z")
[seriously inappropriate insensitivity] > [@World Eater](#): > > Ugh what’s this shit going around? My girlfriend of 3 years just called off things recently. So you, **Johnny L.A.** , _and_ **QuickSilver** (and I think maybe **Inigo Montoya** , too) are all single now? Hot damn! 😃 [/seriously inappropriate insensitivity] (hey, you were warned!) ---
**Author:** ![Scribble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scribble/32/3317_2.png) [@Scribble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribble)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-sent-back-the-ring/305201/30 "2005-05-25T12:36:08Z")
> [@Johnny L.A.](#): > > We’re still friends. I wouldn’t want to do anything like that. When she called it off in January, I asked if there was any chance she’d change her mind and she said no. She’s been having a difficult time back in TN, so I think that she just got around to sending the ring back. I knew there was no hope; but getting the ring back reminded me of the fact. Anyway, as I said we’re still friends. I wouldn’t want to do anything that may hurt her. **Johnny** , you might want to drop the idea that you’re friends with her. It’s impossible to really be friends with someone you still have such strong feelings about. I know you want to keep in contact with her–she’s got a lot of qualities you admire, respect, and really, really miss terribly. The thing is, it’s hard for you to see her, talk with her, get a letter from her, or have any other contact with her, without having some sense of longing and loss. There might be some anger and sadness thrown in there, too. As long as you see your ex-fiancee as your “last best hope of having a relationship,” it’ll be impossible to have a real friendship with her. You might be better off just not having any contact with her for a while. The main thing you have to focus on is enjoying your own life. If you’re excited about the opportunity to open a business with your friend in LA, go do that. There’s nothing like moving and starting something new, exciting, and engrossing to recover from heartbreak. I speak from experience on this one. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-sent-back-the-ring/305201/31 "2005-05-25T14:14:41Z")
> [@This Year's Model](#): > > That’s nonsense. Honestly. Don’t let that become a self fulfilling prophecy. Wallow in your pain for now - we all do - but don’t stay there. Recover from your loss, move on, and keep your eyes open. You’ll meet someone again someday. > [@featherlou](#): > > No, no, no, no, no. She was NOT your “last best hope of having a relationship.” No no no. I asked my Magic 8-Ball, and it agrees with you. 😉😛 When asked about a future relationship, it said ‘Most Likely’. I just asked it again, and it said ‘Without A Doubt’. 🙂 But it’s a Magic 8-Ball. It’s a toy. Given my track record, I’m not optimistic. ☹ Still, my friends are determined to hook me up. Unfortunately, they don’t quite understand that I’m not into casual liasons. (Not that there’s anything wrong with those; just not what I want.) ---
**Author:** ![Aangelica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b2d939/32.png) [@Aangelica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aangelica)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-sent-back-the-ring/305201/32 "2005-05-25T14:31:15Z")
Fight off your well intentioned friends - use sticks if necessary. It’ll get better. And then one random Tuesday you’ll be meandering about, minding your own business, and SPLAT, you’ll run into the right girl for you. Life is weird that way. In the meantime, with apologies to my SO, I’m suddenly filled with the need to have Inigo Montoya’s babies as a result of his suggestion for dealing with the situation. ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-sent-back-the-ring/305201/33 "2005-05-25T16:42:25Z")
> [@Misnomer](#): > > [seriously inappropriate insensitivity] > > So you, **Johnny L.A.** , _and_ **QuickSilver** (and I think maybe **Inigo Montoya** , too) are all single now? Hot damn! 😃 > > [/seriously inappropriate insensitivity] > > (hey, you were warned!) Yeah I forgot what being single is like. Pretty weird at the moment. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-sent-back-the-ring/305201/34 "2005-05-25T16:45:48Z")
> [@Misnomer](#): > > So ( **World Eater** ), **Johnny L.A.** , _and_ **QuickSilver** and … **Inigo Montoya** are all single now? Hot damn! 😃 Welcome to the Man-Buffet, now serving wanton customers from coast to coast! Choose freely from any of the four major temperaments represented here: Some with kids, some with ink, some prior military, some just plain militant, some built for comfort and others for speed–it’s all here, and it’s all FREE. While we do not recommend mixing courses you are free to visit the buffet as many times as you wish. **Aangelica** , congratulations on winning the door prize, looks like you fancy the brain salad? Pardon me while I duck out for some quick nanosurgury to help you out with your “need.” 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-sent-back-the-ring/305201/35 "2005-05-25T17:29:15Z")
> [@World Eater](#): > > Yeah I forgot what being single is like. Pretty weird at the moment. Well, I wouldn’t go near any of you for the next 6 months or so, but you all seem like very decent guys who deserve better (or at least different). It does my single, 30-something heart good to know that men like you come back into the dating pool from time to time. While I may be the only single Doper tactless enough to comment on the current situation, I’m sure I’m not the only one who has noticed. 😉 **Inigo** : Ha! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-sent-back-the-ring/305201/36 "2005-05-25T17:53:53Z")
> [@Johnny L.A.](#): > > But it’s a Magic 8-Ball. It’s a toy. Given my track record, I’m not optimistic. ☹ Don’t you have some dungeon dice? I’m sure you have a number of positive modifiers to enhance your save check vs. loneliness. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Aangelica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b2d939/32.png) [@Aangelica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aangelica)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-sent-back-the-ring/305201/37 "2005-05-25T18:48:45Z")
What can I say? I’ve always been a fan of the clever ones. It’s a weakness 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-sent-back-the-ring/305201/38 "2005-05-25T18:52:24Z")
_hugs **Johnny L.A.** tightly for a long time_ ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-sent-back-the-ring/305201/39 "2005-05-25T18:56:43Z")
Thanks, that’s a nice thing to say. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-sent-back-the-ring/305201/40 "2005-05-25T19:07:39Z")
> [@Kythereia](#): > > _hugs **Johnny L.A.** tightly for a long time_ From another thread: > [@Kythereia](#): > > I’m always who I’ve claimed to be: a young university student from Toronto, female, slightly geeky, more than slightly crazy. 😉 Hi, there. 😃 (I have a bumper sticker on my car that says ‘Talk nerdy to me’. 😉 ) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-sent-back-the-ring/305201.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-sent-back-the-ring/305201.md?page=3)