# Sheep molester strikes six times **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 21, 2008, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sheep-molester-strikes-six-times/453663 "2008-06-21T03:55:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2008, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sheep-molester-strikes-six-times/453663/1 "2008-06-21T03:55:38Z")
[Sheep molester strikes six times](http://www.bromleytimes.co.uk/content/bromley/times/news/story.aspx?brand=BMLYTOnline&category=news&tBrand=northlondon24&tCategory=newsbmlyt&itemid=WeED18%20Jun%202008%2014%3A52%3A01%3A347) > [@](#): > > Over recent months, the Times has heard reports of a tall black man sexually assaulting sheep in Chislehurst but it wasn’t until last week that witnesses formally reported it to police. > > \ > > “I saw him in broad daylight. I was in the yard and only looked over because all the sheep were running…” ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2008, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sheep-molester-strikes-six-times/453663/2 "2008-06-21T03:58:04Z")
Was he wearing a kilt? Sheep can hear zippers. ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2008, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sheep-molester-strikes-six-times/453663/3 "2008-06-21T04:02:37Z")
Now I know why I haven’t seen **Hal** around for a while. (obligatory) ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Tiger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Mama\_Tiger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Tiger)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2008, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sheep-molester-strikes-six-times/453663/4 "2008-06-21T05:00:14Z")
You know, the Dope has untold numbers of educational, ignorance-fighting, mind-challenging threads. So why is it I skip over them all and immediately open the one about the sheep molester? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Charger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df788c/32.png) [@Charger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charger)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2008, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sheep-molester-strikes-six-times/453663/5 "2008-06-21T05:07:48Z")
[QUOTE=Mama Tiger] You know, the Dope has untold numbers of educational, ignorance-fighting, mind-challenging threads. So why is it I skip over them all and immediately open the one about the sheep molester? 😃 [/QUOTE] I can only speak for myself, but I clicked on it because I am fascinated by the notion that someone would _actually_ do that. I always thought the sheep sex jokes were unrealistic. ---
**Author:** ![Words\_on\_the\_Interweb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b19c9b/32.png) [@Words\_on\_the\_Interweb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Words_on_the_Interweb)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2008, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sheep-molester-strikes-six-times/453663/6 "2008-06-21T05:08:41Z")
Of course, immediately after this gem, I read the BBC headline [“Sheep shortage leaves naked man unshorn”](http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/rss/-/2/hi/uk_news/england/dorset/7465329.stm)… ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2008, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sheep-molester-strikes-six-times/453663/7 "2008-06-21T05:12:45Z")
For some reason, that article’s matter-of-fact description of the suspect as a “tall black man” seems strange to my mind. It seems like in American news articles, they will usually not mention the suspect’s race until the very end of the article: “Suspect is described as a black male, aged 25 to 30, about six feet tall,” etc. They usually say “male,” not “man,” too. Am I alone here or do others agree about the tone? ---
**Author:** ![Sunrazor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sunrazor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunrazor)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2008, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sheep-molester-strikes-six-times/453663/8 "2008-06-21T05:24:46Z")
I come from cattle country. The consensus around here is the sheep were asking for it. I mean, have you seen the way those no-tail sluts walk? Oh, yeah, they want it! ---
**Author:** ![tesseract](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bb73d2/32.png) [@tesseract](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tesseract)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2008, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sheep-molester-strikes-six-times/453663/9 "2008-06-21T07:07:58Z")
[QUOTE=Argent Towers] For some reason, that article’s matter-of-fact description of the suspect as a “tall black man” seems strange to my mind. It seems like in American news articles, they will usually not mention the suspect’s race until the very end of the article: “Suspect is described as a black male, aged 25 to 30, about six feet tall,” etc. They usually say “male,” not “man,” too. Am I alone here or do others agree about the tone? [/QUOTE] Sounded weird to me too. ---
**Author:** ![Amber\_in\_Treasury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bc79bd/32.png) [@Amber\_in\_Treasury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amber_in_Treasury)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2008, 10:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sheep-molester-strikes-six-times/453663/10 "2008-06-21T10:47:51Z")
Sounds like someone could use one of these: [http://www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/Palace/6314/](http://www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/Palace/6314/) ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2008, 10:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sheep-molester-strikes-six-times/453663/11 "2008-06-21T10:49:49Z")
I only know one sheep molesting joke, and I feel compelled to contribute it: Q: Why do sheep molesters molest sheep up against the edge of cliffs? A: So the sheep push back. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2008, 10:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sheep-molester-strikes-six-times/453663/12 "2008-06-21T10:59:47Z")
Chislehurst: Where the men are men and the sheep are scared. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2008, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sheep-molester-strikes-six-times/453663/13 "2008-06-21T11:09:09Z")
In the book I just read (Knockemstiff, by a friend of the Doper **Crotalus** ; highly recommended) there is a line used to describe a white-trash loser that goes something like “…and he had the kind of look in his eye where you would’t leave him alone with a milk cow…” :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2008, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sheep-molester-strikes-six-times/453663/14 "2008-06-21T11:44:29Z")
So have they caught the guy yet, or is he still on the lamb? I’m vaguely interested to read of Britain’s new porn censorship law: > [@](#): > > Penetration of or by an animal, known as bestiality, is illegal and carries a sentence of up to two years imprisonment. > > Last month, a ban on extremely graphic images was passed by the Ministry of Justice as part of the latest Criminal Justice and Immigration Bill. > > Under the new law, possession of material depicting necrophilia, bestiality, and violence that is life threatening or likely to result in serious injury will be punishable by up to three years. That makes sense. Pictures of sex with sheep now earn you up to three years in prison, yet _actually having sex with sheep_ only gets you two years in prison. This poor bastard has probably been living in shame for years with his meager stash of sheep porn, and now he suddenly learns that it’s more illegal than doing the act itself. So naturally enough he decides that it’s time to start living the dream. Go, sheep man. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2008, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sheep-molester-strikes-six-times/453663/15 "2008-06-21T11:59:09Z")
Great, now the song _Wooly Bully_ is running through my head. ---
**Author:** ![si\_blakely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@si\_blakely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/si_blakely)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2008, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sheep-molester-strikes-six-times/453663/16 "2008-06-21T13:57:43Z")
[QUOTE=runner pat] Great, now the song _Wooly Bully_ is running through my head. [/QUOTE] was thinking of _Baaaa-d to the Bone_ Si ---
**Author:** ![Rico](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rico/32/3582_2.png) [@Rico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rico)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2008, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sheep-molester-strikes-six-times/453663/17 "2008-06-21T14:16:18Z")
I was thinking more of _Close to Ewe_… [sub]Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2008, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sheep-molester-strikes-six-times/453663/18 "2008-06-21T14:34:55Z")
[QUOTE=Boyo Jim] I only know one sheep molesting joke, and I feel compelled to contribute it: Q: Why do sheep molesters molest sheep up against the edge of cliffs? A: So the sheep push back. [/QUOTE] I know dozens (comes from working with New Zealanders :D): “I built this bar. But do they call me Steve the Carpenter? No, the bastards don’t…” ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2008, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sheep-molester-strikes-six-times/453663/19 "2008-06-21T14:49:25Z")
An Australian was hiking in New Zealand when he caught a Kiwi boffing s sheep. The Aussie laughed and said, ‘Back home we shear those!’ The Kiwi says, ‘I’m not shearin’ Get your own!’ The missionary was called into the African chief’s hut. Seems an albino child was born in the village, and the missionary was suspected of fathering the ‘white’ child. The missionary tried to explain how long-dormant genes may resurface from time to time, with unexpected results. ‘Take sheep, for example. You have a flock of white sheep, but a black lamb was born just last month.’ ‘I see,’ said the chief knowingly. ‘I keep quiet about the child, and you’ll keep quiet about the sheep.’ How to you make a U-turn? Well, first you put her hind legs in your Wellies… ---
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2008, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sheep-molester-strikes-six-times/453663/20 "2008-06-21T15:04:40Z")
An Australian was working on contract in a New Zealand mining town. At the pub, he said to one of the Kiwis, “I notice there are few women in this town. What do you do for…” The Kiwi cut him off: “It’s no secret. We just drive a little way out of town and find an attractive sheep.” “But that’s disgusting! And anyway, it’s illegal.” “Yeah, but we all do it. The cops will turn a blind eye.” The Australian is appalled by this, but as the weeks pass, the sheep start to look a little better, so one day he jumps in his car and drives out of town in search of an attractive ewe. No sooner has he downed trou than a police car screams to a stop, and the Aussie finds himself in the lock-up, charged with obscene behaviour. When he was bailed, he stormed down to the pub, and angrily conronted the Kiwi: “You told me it was all right, but I was arrested!” “Yeah, I heard. It’s all over town. You made one mistake.” “What was that?” “That sheep was the police chief’s girlfriend.” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sheep-molester-strikes-six-times/453663.md?page=2)