# She's a lesbian and he's gay. And in other news, the pope is Catholic **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 2, 2006, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shes-a-lesbian-and-hes-gay-and-in-other-news-the-pope-is-catholic/338046 "2006-01-02T05:09:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![kidchameleon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@kidchameleon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidchameleon)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2006, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shes-a-lesbian-and-hes-gay-and-in-other-news-the-pope-is-catholic/338046/61 "2006-01-02T21:14:50Z")
> [@BMax](#): > > Only the reconstituted Ripley with Alien DNA. In Alien3 she threw herself at the prison doctor. And in _Aliens_ it was Reese…err…Hicks. ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2006, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shes-a-lesbian-and-hes-gay-and-in-other-news-the-pope-is-catholic/338046/62 "2006-01-02T21:36:40Z")
Going back to Kaylee and Inara, I find their relationship to be very sororal. Inara is a big sister to Kaylee and just wants to be as much like her as possible. It’s hero worship, not lust. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2006, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shes-a-lesbian-and-hes-gay-and-in-other-news-the-pope-is-catholic/338046/63 "2006-01-02T22:07:43Z")
> [@Aesiron](#): > > Going back to Kaylee and Inara, I find their relationship to be very sororal. Inara is a big sister to Kaylee and just wants to be as much like her as possible. It’s hero worship, not lust. Just like Xena and Gabrielle! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2006, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shes-a-lesbian-and-hes-gay-and-in-other-news-the-pope-is-catholic/338046/64 "2006-01-02T22:16:52Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > Nope. No chance. > > There’s hero-worship and maybe even a crush on Inara from Kaylee, but they were NOT sleeping together. I totally agree. Look at her reaction when Inara has a female client. She’s sort of surprised and a little wierded out by the idea that Inara sometimes sleeps with women. ---
**Author:** ![Azadeh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/cab0a1/32.png) [@Azadeh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azadeh)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2006, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shes-a-lesbian-and-hes-gay-and-in-other-news-the-pope-is-catholic/338046/65 "2006-01-02T22:25:43Z")
> [@Little Nemo](#): > > On an upcoming very special episode of _Lost_, Kate and Sun are working in the garden. Kate starts talking about how screwed up her situation with Jack and Sawyer has become. Sun says that her marriage with Jin has also become a problem. They’re both happy because they’ve found a friend who understands. Then they both reach for the same plant and their hands touch. They look up into each other’s eyes… I love you so much. ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2006, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shes-a-lesbian-and-hes-gay-and-in-other-news-the-pope-is-catholic/338046/66 "2006-01-02T22:45:24Z")
> [@Stark Raven Mad](#): > > How about Adam West-era Batman and Robin? > > (Alfred was probably in on it too.) I SO agree with you. re M_A_S\*H - Frank Burns was so deep in the closet he could even see the door handle I always thought Major Healy was fey and that all his skirt chasing was typical Don Juanism ---
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2006, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shes-a-lesbian-and-hes-gay-and-in-other-news-the-pope-is-catholic/338046/67 "2006-01-02T23:06:16Z")
Re: Tasha Yar, she did do the wild thing with Data in the “Naked Now” episode, _after_ this exchange (paraphrasing): Data: I am a fully functioning replica of a human male. Yar: Then you have _just what I need_! Which sort of tosses water on the possibility of her being gay. PICARD on the other hand…(well, I’ll let that go rather than risk the wrath of die-hard GSPSFs). Kirk & Spock…ditto. And over on **That 70s Show** - Fez is gay, no ifs, ands or buts (pardon the pun!) about it. A guy that looks like Wilmer Valderamma can’t “score with the ladies?” There’s a reason for it, and it ain’t cause he’s foreign! ---
**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2006, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shes-a-lesbian-and-hes-gay-and-in-other-news-the-pope-is-catholic/338046/68 "2006-01-03T00:10:55Z")
ER: After catching up on my ER-watching, I have to say, of all the characters past and present, desk clerk Jerry Markovic coming out the closet wouldn’t surprise me much. Finding out he’s a “top” would be… can you imagine climbing that “bottom?” ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2006, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shes-a-lesbian-and-hes-gay-and-in-other-news-the-pope-is-catholic/338046/69 "2006-01-03T01:00:16Z")
> [@Art Vandelay](#): > > Re: Tasha Yar, she did do the wild thing with Data in the “Naked Now” episode, _after_ this exchange (paraphrasing): > > Data: I am a fully functioning replica of a human male. > Yar: Then you have _just what I need_! > > Which sort of tosses water on the possibility of her being gay. Dude, he’s a machine! What he has is a plastic replica of what a fully functioning male would have–i.e., he has a DILDO! She’s totally gay… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2006, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shes-a-lesbian-and-hes-gay-and-in-other-news-the-pope-is-catholic/338046/70 "2006-01-03T01:07:40Z")
> [@BMax](#): > > You know that Ares had both of them, right? Ares never had Gabrielle. But he wanted to. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2006, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shes-a-lesbian-and-hes-gay-and-in-other-news-the-pope-is-catholic/338046/71 "2006-01-03T03:04:01Z")
> [@Darkhold](#): > > God…I know way too much about that show for a male. You have no idea how funny it is for someone to say that to _me._ ---
**Author:** ![Wolfian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7ea924/32.png) [@Wolfian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfian)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2006, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shes-a-lesbian-and-hes-gay-and-in-other-news-the-pope-is-catholic/338046/72 "2006-01-03T04:09:26Z")
Luthor from Superman II (never saw the first one). Then again they screwed up everyone’s character there, except for Zod. ZOD! Come to think of it Zod never returned the affections of his female second in command, did he… Gives a whole new meaning to “Kneel before Zod.” ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2006, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shes-a-lesbian-and-hes-gay-and-in-other-news-the-pope-is-catholic/338046/73 "2006-01-03T04:45:07Z")
The 1966 TV sitcom _Occasional Wife_ showed an ambitious junior executive working for a babyfood company whose boss wants to project a family image. Therefore all employees had better be married if they know what side their bread is buttered on. Also, the family-oriented boss has a habit of visiting the employee’s apartment for dinner. What’s a [gay] employee to do? How about make a deal with your [lesbian] friend to show up and pretend to be your wife whenever the boss comes over? Yep, that was the whole premise of the show. The words “gay” and “lesbian” were interpolated in brackets in my description, because of course in 1966 no one said such things openly on network TV. The gay is all subtext. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2006, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shes-a-lesbian-and-hes-gay-and-in-other-news-the-pope-is-catholic/338046/74 "2006-01-03T04:50:22Z")
Going back a few decades: **Mr. Mooney** from the Lucy shows (I know he was married, but I’m guessing he made lots of business trips to San Fran). **Harris** from _Barney Miller_- a metrosexual long before it was stylish. **Laverne** from _& Shirley_ fame. True she dated guys, but she was clearly going through the motions. (And we all know that Chuch Cunningham was disowned for running off with his frat brother.) **Felix** from _The Odd Couple_- he was a Lambda Husband & Dad long before Sydney Shorr. ---
**Author:** ![yoyodyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a9a28c/32.png) [@yoyodyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yoyodyne)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2006, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shes-a-lesbian-and-hes-gay-and-in-other-news-the-pope-is-catholic/338046/75 "2006-01-03T05:03:57Z")
Peppermint Patty and Marcie. Mr. Smith from _Lost in Space_. Apparently Majors Nelson and Healey. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2006, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shes-a-lesbian-and-hes-gay-and-in-other-news-the-pope-is-catholic/338046/76 "2006-01-03T05:44:12Z")
Howard Sprague from _Andy Griffith/Mayberry RFD_ Monroe (Jim J. Bullock) from _Too Close For Comfort_ (The actor wanted the character to come out but Ted Knight wouldn’t hear of it and even thought Bullock was just confused.) Jo from _Facts of Life_ prior to the last season (when she got married, but nothing after Mrs. Garrett left counts anyway [really, nothing after Edna’s Edibles burns]) Uncle Arthur from _Bewitched_ (there was one episode when he had a girlfriend, but I’m convinced it was a warlock in drag) ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2006, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shes-a-lesbian-and-hes-gay-and-in-other-news-the-pope-is-catholic/338046/77 "2006-01-03T05:49:14Z")
Sam Malone. Think about it. ---
**Author:** ![Albert\_Rose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9de053/32.png) [@Albert\_Rose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Albert_Rose)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2006, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shes-a-lesbian-and-hes-gay-and-in-other-news-the-pope-is-catholic/338046/78 "2006-01-03T06:41:18Z")
> [@FisherQueen](#): > > In my opinion, if you pay close attention through Firefly, it is clear that Inara and Kaylee are fuckbuddies. They’re not having a serious relationship, but they are definitely having friendly sex on a fairly regular basis. > > Go on, watch it again. You’ll see that I’m right. I’ll admit it - I thought that Kaylee _was_ gay, since I misheard one of Jayne’s quotes early in the pilot episode. Something about wanting to be a gynecologist (or so I thought). Then, when Inara did her hair later, I definitely “knew” that Kaylee was out and happy. I’m thinking that Crockett & Tubbs had something there… ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2006, 8:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shes-a-lesbian-and-hes-gay-and-in-other-news-the-pope-is-catholic/338046/79 "2006-01-03T08:38:39Z")
It’s a stretch, I realize, but I’m going to have to go with Tobias Fünke from Arrested Development. ---
**Author:** ![Harvey\_The\_Heavy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Harvey\_The\_Heavy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harvey_The_Heavy)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2006, 10:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shes-a-lesbian-and-hes-gay-and-in-other-news-the-pope-is-catholic/338046/80 "2006-01-03T10:20:07Z")
I think Joe Friday is the most deeply closeted homosexual in TV history. Not even Gannon suspects anything. He lived in _Silver Lake_ for crying out loud! I’d keep an eye on Reed and Malloy, too. I can’t believe no one mentioned Winchester when posting about M_A_S\*H. I’m surprised him and Hotlips never signed a Mutual Beard Agreement. I agree with Jo from The Facts Of Life. Also that girl from the first season who always wore the baseball hat. Hoover and D-Day from Animal House. The doctor on The Munsters, but it was Paul Lynde, so that’s by default. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shes-a-lesbian-and-hes-gay-and-in-other-news-the-pope-is-catholic/338046.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shes-a-lesbian-and-hes-gay-and-in-other-news-the-pope-is-catholic/338046.md?page=5)