# She's never the one to initiate text. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 10, 2015, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shes-never-the-one-to-initiate-text/712341 "2015-02-10T23:13:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2015, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shes-never-the-one-to-initiate-text/712341/21 "2015-02-14T23:46:51Z")
How long does the texting last? How is your stamina, are you done before she is? ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2015, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shes-never-the-one-to-initiate-text/712341/22 "2015-02-14T23:49:15Z")
Women aren’t like men, they can’t turn their text drive on and off at the drop of a hat. You have to get her in the mood to text with some non-textual activities first. Turn down the brightness on her phone, ring her and tell her you love her vowels, MMS her some female friendly erotica during the day. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2015, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shes-never-the-one-to-initiate-text/712341/23 "2015-02-14T23:56:44Z")
I’m glad to see people are getting into the spirit of this thread. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2015, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shes-never-the-one-to-initiate-text/712341/24 "2015-02-15T01:37:35Z")
text fiend ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2015, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shes-never-the-one-to-initiate-text/712341/25 "2015-02-15T05:26:58Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > Why not try this new thing…'talking"? Yes, maybe she’ll be all into oral texting. ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2015, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shes-never-the-one-to-initiate-text/712341/26 "2015-02-15T16:37:38Z")
Back in my day, “nice” girls didn’t text first. Or alone. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2015, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shes-never-the-one-to-initiate-text/712341/27 "2015-02-17T15:38:07Z")
I have discovered that, as cell phones get older, the keys may get stuck, making texting difficult or even painful. A little lubrication can go a long way. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2015, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shes-never-the-one-to-initiate-text/712341/28 "2015-02-17T22:23:58Z")
Consult a doctor for texts lasting longer than four hours. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2015, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shes-never-the-one-to-initiate-text/712341/29 "2015-02-17T22:29:59Z")
I don’t think it would be that big a deal to hold off on the texting for awhile and see if she will initiate. If you’re texting a lot, maybe she just doesn’t feel the need to initiate. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2015, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shes-never-the-one-to-initiate-text/712341/30 "2015-02-18T16:20:56Z")
Well, my wife doesn’t know it, but I’ve found a local bar where, for a small cover fee, I can watch girls texting up on stage. If I pay a little extra, she’ll sit in my lap and wave the text in my face. I hear that, for a LOT of money, we can go back to the Champagne Room and I can text her back! But I’m not ready for that yet. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2015, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shes-never-the-one-to-initiate-text/712341/31 "2015-02-18T16:27:41Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > When we text, the text is usually pretty good, in as much we both contribute to the texting. I usually walk away from our sessions feeling satiated, and I think she does too (Unless she’s faking it). > The problem is, she never initiates, it makes me feel a little insecure. Are my feelings valid? Should I hold back and let _her_ initiate? Or would that be like playing stupid head games? > > Please advise. Try texting yourself. [Some say that can be just as good as texting with another person.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=216697) ---
**Author:** ![Ravenman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ravenman/32/2929_2.png) [@Ravenman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ravenman)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2015, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shes-never-the-one-to-initiate-text/712341/32 "2015-02-18T16:38:01Z")
The answer is obvious: dump her. [/standard SDMB advice] ---
**Author:** ![chiquitita](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@chiquitita](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiquitita)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2015, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shes-never-the-one-to-initiate-text/712341/33 "2015-02-18T17:50:02Z")
Some people are atextual. They just don’t feel any inclination toward texting. They may engage in it for the sake of their relationships, but deep down they lack the desire for this particular behavior. In this age of ubiquitous smartphones and non-stop communication, they’re sometimes made to feel inadequate, ashamed, or even oppressed by the social rejection of the validity of their orientation. Sometimes, indeed, by the denial of their existence. Please, do not treat them as abnormals or deviants. Remember that an absence of desire for texting is not a matter of choice. We as a society should be accepting and supportive of atextuality, since it’s a private matter and it doesn’t hurt anybody. Full disclosure: joking aside, this is pretty much how I feel concerning ‘fun’ texting. Texts are very good for conveying information, setting meetings, reminders, and such stuff, but I don’t get the appeal of gossip or light conversation through texts. So, yeah, I never initiate texting either. ---
**Author:** ![pool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pool/32/4152_2.png) [@pool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pool)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2015, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shes-never-the-one-to-initiate-text/712341/34 "2015-02-18T19:41:56Z")
Maybe if you experiment with a group texting situation that will bring her around and make her more hyper-textual. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2015, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shes-never-the-one-to-initiate-text/712341/35 "2015-02-18T20:14:38Z")
> [@pool](#): > > Maybe if you experiment with a group texting situation that will bring her around and make her more hyper-textual. Well, couldn’t you start smaller? Maybe use a few more emoticons, before rushing into polytextory? ---
**Author:** ![Stringbean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Stringbean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stringbean)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2015, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shes-never-the-one-to-initiate-text/712341/36 "2015-02-19T01:51:57Z")
> [@Ravenman](#): > > The answer is obvious: dump her. > > [/standard SDMB advice] No, the real SDMB answer is obvious: you’re a controlling, obsessive creeper. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2015, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shes-never-the-one-to-initiate-text/712341/37 "2015-02-19T15:44:30Z")
Some texting devices can be infected or carry viruses. Be careful to take precautions and not participate in unprotected texting. And get the texting devices checked regularly. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2015, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shes-never-the-one-to-initiate-text/712341/38 "2015-02-19T15:56:33Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > Some texting devices can be infected or carry viruses. Be careful to take precautions and not participate in unprotected texting. And get the texting devices checked regularly. If there was something wrong with her phone, I’d know! ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Gay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3ab097/32.png) [@Enola\_Gay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Gay)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2015, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shes-never-the-one-to-initiate-text/712341/39 "2015-02-19T16:08:55Z")
Don’t take it personally. She was probably raised Catholic. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2015, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shes-never-the-one-to-initiate-text/712341/40 "2015-02-19T18:05:26Z")
The worst part is, even when she texts me, it’s always plain old black Arial font. Just once, I’d like her to get wild and use Colonna or Times New Roman. Or (my fantasy), Wingdings!!! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shes-never-the-one-to-initiate-text/712341.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shes-never-the-one-to-initiate-text/712341.md?page=3)