# Shhh. I'm taking a leak. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 29, 2003, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shhh-im-taking-a-leak/178285 "2003-05-29T15:44:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shhh-im-taking-a-leak/178285/21 "2003-05-29T16:51:16Z")
Why, **dinahmoe** , I can make them wink and grin, too! ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shhh-im-taking-a-leak/178285/22 "2003-05-29T16:54:04Z")
… pissibilities… “shhh, I’m concentrating” “Does your pee smell like this after eating asparagus?” “That reminds me, how is the project going? Still running straight down the plug hole?” “Oh, so the rumour about your genital warts was true. Have you seen a Doctor yet?” ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shhh-im-taking-a-leak/178285/23 "2003-05-29T17:13:08Z")
Does he follow you in? Go in, wash your hands, wait for him to come in and unzip, nod, then leave. Wait a few minutes for him to finish, then you go in. Now, if he’s in there already, wash hands, leave, wait a few minutes, then go back in. If he follows you to pee again, well, then I think it’s a Talk to HR thing. ---
**Author:** ![it\_sjustme](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/da6949/32.png) [@it\_sjustme](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/it_sjustme)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shhh-im-taking-a-leak/178285/24 "2003-05-30T05:22:21Z")
Get thee to a hospital, steal a plastic urinal and pee at your desk from now on. kidding!!😃 ---
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shhh-im-taking-a-leak/178285/25 "2003-05-30T05:24:39Z")
Fart really, really loudly while she’s mid-sentence. ---
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shhh-im-taking-a-leak/178285/26 "2003-05-30T05:25:52Z")
Or HIM, sorry, It works either way. Well, it works in theory. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/41988e/32.png) [@El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Cid_Viscoso)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shhh-im-taking-a-leak/178285/27 "2003-05-30T05:27:57Z")
Pony up some green and install those key-operated newspaper holders. Make up a fake newspaper with regular stories for a while, then one day do a big-ass headline “Urinal Conversation Sparked Louisiana Serial Killer”. That’s some spicy meatball. ---
**Author:** ![Banger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8491ac/32.png) [@Banger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Banger)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shhh-im-taking-a-leak/178285/28 "2003-05-30T06:02:12Z")
There was some creepy guy who used to work on my floor and who I only ever encountered in the hallways and men’s bathroom (we worked for different agencies, so the hallways and bathroom were the only places where we would see each other). Whenever I entered the bathroom while he was doing his business at the urinal, he would do a 90’ turn towards me (thankfully, the lower half probably never passed 45’; I never looked down to check and make sure), give me a big smile, enthusiastically say, “Hello!” and then immediately try to start some small talk. Boy, am I glad that agency (and the creepy guy) moved to a different building. There is a restroom etiquette, and this guy lacked it. -If you’re using a urinal, don’t start a conversation with a relative stranger. -If you’re using a urinal, don’t turn to face people entering the restroom and greet them. -And not so much a rule of etiquette as it is a rule of thumb: if you’re in a bathroom and see a closed stall door with feet appearing under it, the odds are that there is a person in that stall, and they can hear whatever gibberish you say out loud to yourself. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/41988e/32.png) [@El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Cid_Viscoso)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shhh-im-taking-a-leak/178285/29 "2003-05-30T06:07:40Z")
…did you ever live in Peoria, IL? ---
**Author:** ![Banger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8491ac/32.png) [@Banger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Banger)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shhh-im-taking-a-leak/178285/30 "2003-05-30T06:20:37Z")
[Butthead]hehe… Pee-oria…[/Butthead] ---
**Author:** ![El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/41988e/32.png) [@El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Cid_Viscoso)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shhh-im-taking-a-leak/178285/31 "2003-05-30T06:23:51Z")
yeah yeah yeah, hmmm hmemm he heh hmm hm hm, Illinoy. IlliNOY! ---
**Author:** ![welby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d78d45/32.png) [@welby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/welby)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shhh-im-taking-a-leak/178285/32 "2003-05-30T13:12:07Z")
Somehow I don’t think pissin gon the leg of one of the few people who can fire me without question or repurcussion wouldn’t be the way to go. **ivylass** had a good idea except for the fact that I’m taking a medication right now that has a side effect of making me want to take a leak every half hour or so. And when I’ve got to go, I’ve got to go. No question about it. Perhaps **RTFirefly’s** idea is best. Stall city for me baby. If he starts talking to me there I’m going to pull a Vociferous Pooper on him and start talkin gto my dick or something. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shhh-im-taking-a-leak/178285/33 "2003-05-30T14:10:12Z")
Buy the book “Caves of Steel” by Isaac Asimov, underline all the passages about strict conduct in the men’s personals and leave it on his desk. [sub]…98 ounces of pee on the wall, 98 ounces of pee - take one down, pass it around , 97 ounces of pee on the wall…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Dawne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Dawne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dawne)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shhh-im-taking-a-leak/178285/34 "2003-05-30T14:49:27Z")
I would _hate_ that… I can’t bear it when theres anyone in the same room or even up stairs with me when I’m in the bathroom, in the shower, etc. Yes, it’s hard to be like that and live with 3 people. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/41988e/32.png) [@El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Cid_Viscoso)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shhh-im-taking-a-leak/178285/35 "2003-05-30T16:00:31Z")
Another suggestion, in case you missed my first one: Buy a fake hearing aid from a costume shop and put it in your right ear. Always make sure you use the far-left urinal. Or you could go with my newspaper idea. ---
**Author:** ![welby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d78d45/32.png) [@welby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/welby)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2003, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shhh-im-taking-a-leak/178285/36 "2003-05-31T00:44:23Z")
How could I possibly have missed the fake newspaper? Maybe I could do it as a conversation. Kind of like “Hey, know what I read in the paper today? Some guy was talking in a urinal and got shot…” ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2003, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shhh-im-taking-a-leak/178285/37 "2003-05-31T01:09:37Z")
Instead of a head turn, do a full body turn and aim your stream under the panel such that you pee on his foot. I doubt he’ll trouble you again. ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2003, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shhh-im-taking-a-leak/178285/38 "2003-05-31T01:56:45Z")
[A little off topic: Do you know that if you do a search on all threads with “poop” in the title, you get three pages of threads? Wow. Like this one: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=56612&highlight=poop](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=56612&highlight=poop)] [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shhh-im-taking-a-leak/178285.md?page=1)