# Shit Happens! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 6, 2000, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shit-happens/12781 "2000-01-06T12:58:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2000, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shit-happens/12781/1 "2000-01-06T12:58:00Z")
Taoism:Shit Happens Confucianism: Confucius say, “Shit Happens” Buddhism:If Shit Happens, it isn’t really Shit Zen (Rinzai):What is the sound of Shit Happening? Zen (Soto):Shit just Happens Hinduism:This Shit Happened before Sikhism:Leave our Shit alone Jainism :Don’t accidentally swallow flies and Shit Islam:If Shit Happens, it is the will of Allah Nation of Islam :Don’t take no Shit! Hare Krishna:Shit Happens, Shit Happens, Rama Lama _ding ding_ Agnosticism :Does Shit Happen? Atheism:No Shit! Catholicism:Shit Happens because you are BAD Protestantism:Catholics are full of Shit Methodism:Let Shit Happen to somebody else Calvinism:Shit Happens because you don’t work hard enough Presbyterianism:This Shit was bound to Happen Episcopalianism:If Shit Happens, hold a procession Lutheranism:Shit Happens, but as long as you’re sorry, it’s OK Anglicanism:Shit Happens, but only to Lutherans Mormonism:Excrement Occurs Left Behinders: Holy Shit! We’re under attack! Baptist:You’re Shitting all wrong, and you’re going to hell for it Pentacostal:Praise the Shit! Christian Science:Shit is all in your mind Existentialism:What is Shit anyway? Hedonism:There’s nothing like a good Shit Happening Dadaism:Bathtub full of power tools Jehovah’s Witness:Knock knock. Shit Happens! Televangelism:Your tax-deductable donation can prevent this Shit from Happening Fundamentalism:There’s no Shit in the Bible Creationism:Shit has only been Happening since October 23rd, 4004 B.C. Judaism:Why does Shit always Happen to us? Moonies:Only happy Shit really Happens Wicca:Shit is part of the Goddess, too Paganism:Shit Happens for a variety of reasons Pantheism:It’s all a bunch of Shit Panentheism:Shit transcends us Mysticism:This is some weird Shit Unitarianism:Go ahead, Shit anywhere you want Vegetarianism:If it Shits, don’t eat it Scientology:All this Happens to be Shit Seventh Day Adventist:No Shit on Saturdays Amish:Shit is good for the soil Stoicism:This Shit is good enough for me Zoroastrianism:Shit Happens half the time Rastafarianism:Let’s smoke this Shit Voodoo:Let’s stick some pins in this Shit Twelve Step Program:Shit Happens one day at a time Environmentalism:Shit is biodegradable New Age:It’s not Shit, it’s crystal vibes \> \> Is that everybody? Anyone feel left out? * * * Stop telling God what to do. ---
**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2000, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shit-happens/12781/2 "2000-01-06T12:59:00Z")
Damn smilies! ---
**Author:** ![Navigator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/4af34b/32.png) [@Navigator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Navigator)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2000, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shit-happens/12781/3 "2000-01-06T13:03:00Z")
ummm… is this pit material or meaningless stuff… maybe they should open a humor room. 🙂 I’m giggling nevertheless * * * † Jon † Phillipians 4:13 ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2000, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shit-happens/12781/4 "2000-01-06T13:23:00Z")
You forgot one. Darwinism: We’re all just shit. * * * “It is lucky for rulers that men do not think.” — Adolf Hitler ---
**Author:** ![Phaedrus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/53a042/32.png) [@Phaedrus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phaedrus)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2000, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shit-happens/12781/5 "2000-01-06T13:28:00Z")
Good one Lib! 🙂 Um, Wally? Your point is? ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2000, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shit-happens/12781/6 "2000-01-06T13:51:00Z")
Socialism: Everybody gets the same shit. Nazism: The Master Race gets to shit on everybody else. Libertarianism: We all get to do whatever shit we want, assuming we can afford it. Economic conservatism: The free market should set the price of shit. Religious conservatism: Let’s pass laws banning shit. Liberalism: We should spread the shit around a bit more. Isolationism: We only want shit that has the ‘Shat in America’ label. Bureaucracy: before you can shit, you need to fill out form 917-S in triplicate, have it approved by the appropriate supervisors, and make sure the Shit Committee signs off on it… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2000, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shit-happens/12781/7 "2000-01-06T13:52:00Z")
My point is clear, O shining One. Although only slightly humorous, my post shows how divided the world is. What it does not show is who’s philosophy is correct. I leave that to other members of this board. They obviously have access to wisdom that I do not. Even though I own (count 'em) three Bibles. * * * Stop telling God what to do. ---
**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2000, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shit-happens/12781/8 "2000-01-06T13:54:00Z")
Rufus, I knew you’d show up. And naturally, you came through. 🙂 🙂 🙂 * * * Stop telling God what to do. ---
**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2000, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shit-happens/12781/9 "2000-01-06T13:57:00Z")
Lib, good one. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Phaedrus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/53a042/32.png) [@Phaedrus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phaedrus)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2000, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shit-happens/12781/10 "2000-01-06T14:11:00Z")
WallyM7: Point well taken. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2000, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shit-happens/12781/11 "2000-01-06T14:25:00Z")
RTFirefly: A minor tweak, if I may. Libertarianism: Keep your shit to yourself. * * * “It is lucky for rulers that men do not think.” — Adolf Hitler ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2000, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shit-happens/12781/12 "2000-01-06T16:19:00Z")
Lib - I keep hoping you’ll do that, but you keep disappointing me! 😉 Tweak accepted, needless to say. ---
**Author:** ![techchick68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea5d25/32.png) [@techchick68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/techchick68)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2000, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shit-happens/12781/13 "2000-01-06T16:24:00Z")
^5 Libertarian! Wally, That is one of those that needs to go out in email that everyone passes around! ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2000, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shit-happens/12781/14 "2000-01-06T17:03:00Z")
In a similar vein: John Kennedy: “Ask not how your country can shit on you; ask how you can shit on your country.” Lyndon Johnson: “I will not seek, nor will I accept, any more of this shit.” Richard Nixon: “Let me just say [expletive deleted] about that.” Gerald Ford: “” Jimmy Carter: “Shit! Shit! Somebody stop that rabbit!” Ronald Reagan: “My economics is simple: shit rolls downhill.” George Bush: “Read my lips. No new shit.” Bill Clinton: “Now, I want you to listen to me. I did … not … have … sexual relations with that woman … Miss Lewinski.” * * * “It is lucky for rulers that men do not think.” — Adolf Hitler ---
**Author:** ![David\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/51bf81/32.png) [@David\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/David_B)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2000, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shit-happens/12781/15 "2000-01-06T17:28:00Z")
So would that Clinton one be paraphrased as, “Bullshit”? ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2000, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shit-happens/12781/16 "2000-01-06T17:32:00Z")
Bing! — Give that man a prize! * * * “It is lucky for rulers that men do not think.” — Adolf Hitler ---
**Author:** ![RoboDude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bbe5ce/32.png) [@RoboDude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RoboDude)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2000, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shit-happens/12781/17 "2000-01-07T06:30:00Z")
Environmentalism: Stop shitting! You’re screwing up the ecosystem! * * * Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think. ---
**Author:** ![Krispy\_Original](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ec9cab/32.png) [@Krispy\_Original](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Krispy_Original)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2000, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shit-happens/12781/18 "2000-01-07T06:35:00Z")
Shit! There’s no debate here! * * * Krispy Original – voted SDMB’s 19th most popular poster (1999) ---
**Author:** ![MKM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/edb3f5/32.png) [@MKM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MKM)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2000, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shit-happens/12781/19 "2000-01-07T06:45:00Z")
I don’t know why I even came in here \… Ok, yeah it’s funny. But there is another mistake: > [@](#): > > Fundamentalism:There’s no Shit in the Bible Not true… 1 Samuel 24:2-3 > [@](#): > > So Saul took three thousand chosen men from all Israel and set out to look for David and his men near the Crags of the Wild Goats. He came to the sheep pens along the way; a cave was there, **and Saul went in to relieve himself** … If it was to take a leak, why not just “whip it out”? ## Peace 🙂 “We love Him because He first loved us.” 1 John 4:19 † ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2000, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shit-happens/12781/20 "2000-01-06T19:03:00Z")
what about crispy original shit? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shit-happens/12781.md?page=2)