# Shit or Soap? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 23, 2007, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shit-or-soap/427556 "2007-11-23T23:56:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![9thFloor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/9/b487fb/32.png) [@9thFloor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/9thFloor)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2007, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shit-or-soap/427556/1 "2007-11-23T23:56:21Z")
So, you’ve just finished taking a shit and now you’re about to go put your contact lenses in your eyes and if you had to choose would you prefer to (1) not wash your hands and therefore still have some microscopic shit on your finger when you use that finger to put your contact lens in your eye or (2) wash your hands with soap first and have some residual bit of soap on your finger when you put the contact lens in your eye? Which would you prefer to get residual bits of in your eye: shit or soap? ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2007, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shit-or-soap/427556/2 "2007-11-23T23:58:35Z")
Soap, I think - fecal bacteria in the eye is probably not something I want. Of course in real life, I choose option 3, 4 or 5. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2007, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shit-or-soap/427556/3 "2007-11-24T00:02:11Z")
Don’t you always wash your hands before putting in contact lenses? That’s what I did before I put in my lenses back when I wore them. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2007, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shit-or-soap/427556/4 "2007-11-24T00:04:12Z")
You can’t wash your hands, because the handwash basin is trapped under the dashboard of the burning car. ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2007, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shit-or-soap/427556/5 "2007-11-24T00:04:51Z")
I would do what I always do before I touch my contacts: Wash my hands thoroughly, rinse them until there is hopefully neither shit nor soap left on them, and then touch my contacts. ---
**Author:** ![beowulff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beowulff/32/542_2.png) [@beowulff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beowulff)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2007, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shit-or-soap/427556/6 "2007-11-24T00:12:35Z")
[QUOTE=Mangetout] You can’t wash your hands, because the handwash basin is trapped under the dashboard of the burning car. [/QUOTE] Is the car on a treadmill? ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2007, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shit-or-soap/427556/7 "2007-11-24T00:25:59Z")
I hardly ever shit on both of my hands. Whichever one didn’t go back there, I’d use to stab myself in eye with contact lens. Not that use them, but if I did. If for some reason post-defecatory ablutions somehow became a two-handed operation, I would scrup hand for several minutes under warm water without soap and then use that hand to stab self in eye with contact lens. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2007, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shit-or-soap/427556/8 "2007-11-24T00:31:11Z")
After washing my hands thoroughly, I also squeeze some contact cleaner solution onto my fingers for the lubrication and antiseptic value. (I buy the cheap generic stuff in quantity). ---
**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2007, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shit-or-soap/427556/9 "2007-11-24T03:43:03Z")
It isn’t supposed to be that mundane and pointless. ---
**Author:** ![Hanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b3f665/32.png) [@Hanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hanna)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2007, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shit-or-soap/427556/10 "2007-11-24T03:59:30Z")
Why don’t you use toilet paper to wipe instead of your hands? Sheesh. ---
**Author:** ![bbs2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e495f1/32.png) [@bbs2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bbs2k)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2007, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shit-or-soap/427556/11 "2007-11-24T04:06:27Z")
Option three, you’ve just eaten an entire can of pringles and your hands are real salty. ---
**Author:** ![Meyer6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@Meyer6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meyer6)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2007, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shit-or-soap/427556/12 "2007-11-24T04:20:35Z")
Wow, I guess I’ve been doing something wrong because I never wash my hands right before putting my contacts in - just shove them on in there. Of course, I never shit on my hands either, so I’m not sure how to answer the question. ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Purl\_McKnittington](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9a140/32.png) [@Miss\_Purl\_McKnittington](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Purl_McKnittington)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2007, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shit-or-soap/427556/13 "2007-11-24T05:13:22Z")
[QUOTE=beowulff] Is the car on a treadmill? [/QUOTE] And are there puppies from New Orleans trapped inside the car? ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2007, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shit-or-soap/427556/14 "2007-11-24T23:13:11Z")
[QUOTE=bbs2k] Option three, you’ve just eaten an entire can of pringles and your hands are real salty. [/QUOTE] And ironically, they were a new flavour called _Shit n Soap_. ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2007, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shit-or-soap/427556/15 "2007-11-24T23:35:00Z")
Option 4, you’ve just been chopping fresh chillies… ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2007, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shit-or-soap/427556/16 "2007-11-25T00:05:05Z")
Option 5: 1920’s style death ray, I mean, Lasik. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2007, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shit-or-soap/427556/17 "2007-11-25T01:29:31Z")
Sorry, you can’t have those as options 3, 4 and 5 - I put dibs on those back in post #2. I guess I should have explained. Option 3: You wash and rinse your hands, then gently brush your closed eyelid with a beautiful flower. Option 4: You wash and rinse your hands, and experience miraculous healing of your vision - you no longer need the contact lenses. Option 5: You wake up, and _it was all a dream_. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2007, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shit-or-soap/427556/18 "2007-11-25T03:04:19Z")
No, no! It was real! **Mangetout** was there, and **Miss Purl McKnittington** was there! ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2007, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shit-or-soap/427556/19 "2007-11-25T04:00:41Z")
[True Story] I like hot sauce. Let’s just say I _always_ wash my hands before I either take out or put in my contact lenses. You’re reading the Dope, and are a smart person. I’m sure you can picture where this went. . . [/True Story] Before my eyes became self-eyewash stations, IIRC, the bottle said ‘Scoville 5,000’. Tripler Now the shits . . . they came later. But my contacts were already out. . . ---
**Author:** ![Oslo\_Ostragoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a9a28c/32.png) [@Oslo\_Ostragoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oslo_Ostragoth)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2007, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shit-or-soap/427556/20 "2007-11-25T07:30:30Z")
[QUOTE=1920s Style “Death Ray”] Option 4, you’ve just been chopping fresh chillies… [/QUOTE] Dammit, beat me to it. Not a good option. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shit-or-soap/427556.md?page=2)