# shitty haircut and can't say anything **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 7, 2017, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shitty-haircut-and-cant-say-anything/793010 "2017-08-07T16:18:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Sigene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df788c/32.png) [@Sigene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigene)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2017, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shitty-haircut-and-cant-say-anything/793010/1 "2017-08-07T16:18:38Z")
I had longish hair that was getting in the way. My wife used to cut it several years ago, and did a decent job, but hasn’t for a while. She volunteered to do it again…She just ran the clippers over my head with comb guard. It looks like the haircut mom gave me when I was 9. No style, no anything. Just uniformly short everywhere. Thanks dear…I really do appreciate saving $20. So much so, that I’m not going to mention that its a terrible haircut. If I say anything, she won’t ever do it again. What I do to save $20:o ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2017, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shitty-haircut-and-cant-say-anything/793010/2 "2017-08-07T17:14:48Z")
I give my husband the same cut, using the #1 guard. He prefers it - no fuss, no muss, no need to comb. He knows better than to ask me to give him style. NOT my strong suit. I wish he could cut my hair - I hate going to a salon. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2017, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shitty-haircut-and-cant-say-anything/793010/3 "2017-08-07T17:17:18Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > I give my husband the same cut, using the #1 guard. He prefers it - no fuss, no muss, no need to comb. He knows better than to ask me to give him style. NOT my strong suit. > > **I wish he could cut my hair - I hate going to a salon.** #1 guard. No fuss, no muss, no need to comb. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2017, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shitty-haircut-and-cant-say-anything/793010/4 "2017-08-07T17:26:35Z")
“Honey, I liked the cut last time, but I wanna try not so short this time to see if it could work on my head shape. Thanks! (Kiss)” ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2017, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shitty-haircut-and-cant-say-anything/793010/5 "2017-08-07T18:42:48Z")
Sounds like the perfect haircut to me. Free. ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2017, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shitty-haircut-and-cant-say-anything/793010/6 "2017-08-07T18:50:51Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > I wish he could cut my hair - I hate going to a salon. Me too! It seems like it always takes forever and you can’t really do anything else while it’s happening. I usually have long hair and bangs I cut myself, just so I don’t have to put up with the whole salon thing. I know there must be people who look at me and think, “yeesh, why doesn’t she do something about that hair … she’d look so much better with a stylish cut.” But my hair grows quickly and I’d have to endure monthly cuts to maintain a fashionable look. Plus my husband likes long hair anyway, so he doesn’t care. In short, there’s no way in hell I’m making regular visits to the salon. (I go two or three times a year when it starts to get really mangy; that’s it.) ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2017, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shitty-haircut-and-cant-say-anything/793010/7 "2017-08-07T19:04:04Z")
I never know what to say to the barber when I go for a haircut. They always ask how I want it cut, and the best I can think of is that I want it shorter, but not so short that my scalp shows through. ---
**Author:** ![Corner\_Case](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/corner_case/32/234_2.png) [@Corner\_Case](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corner_Case)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2017, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shitty-haircut-and-cant-say-anything/793010/8 "2017-08-07T19:20:50Z")
Next time say, “#3 on top, #2 on the sides” or “#4 on top, #3 on the sides”. That’s what I use and it keeps some style. I still don’t have to comb, though! ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2017, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shitty-haircut-and-cant-say-anything/793010/9 "2017-08-08T01:15:58Z")
#0.0 all over. Takes next to no time in chair; next shortest to shaving. Allows dermatologist to keep on finding rotten lousy skin cancers on scalp. ---
**Author:** ![Battle\_Pope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Battle\_Pope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Battle_Pope)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2017, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shitty-haircut-and-cant-say-anything/793010/10 "2017-08-08T01:19:37Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > I give my husband the same cut, using the #1 guard. He prefers it - no fuss, no muss, no need to comb. He knows better than to ask me to give him style. NOT my strong suit. > > I wish he could cut my hair - I hate going to a salon. I do the same. About every 6-8 weeks: #1 comb all over, hair and beard then let it grow back out with a bit of trimming to keep it neat. ---
**Author:** ![Kropotkin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kropotkin/32/18045_2.png) [@Kropotkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kropotkin)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2017, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shitty-haircut-and-cant-say-anything/793010/12 "2017-08-09T01:12:41Z")
Count your blessings. A friend of mine went a little crazy watching a shopping channel and bought face cream hawked by Phyllis Diller :eek: and a Flobee, which is a hair clipper that attaches to the hose on your vacuum to suck up the cut hair. The sound is like having a jet take off 100 feet from your head. She felt guilty about spending the money so in order to “make the Flobee pay for itself,” gave him haircuts about every 4 days for a month or so. He took it like a man. A man with a very bad haircut that did not grow an eighth of an inch for over a month. ---
**Author:** ![anomalous1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e56c9b/32.png) [@anomalous1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anomalous1)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2017, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shitty-haircut-and-cant-say-anything/793010/13 "2017-08-09T02:23:50Z")
Been giving myself fade haircuit for many years, I refuse to let anyone else cut my hair because its always a slapdash job, even if at a salon or what have you. They always leave some hairs, or something isn’t fully blended, or it makes my head look like a pumpkin. That being said, keep getting the free haircuits and just say “i want to try something different, lets work with this guard (higher) first then work down from there” and you’ll find what you like soon enough. Its great and saves a lot of money depending on who you are. My hair grows exceptionally fast (not bragging, i hate it) so I have to cut my hair every 3 weeks. 17 times a year x 20… Thats about $350 of haircuts and at cheapo places… Happy [free] cutting! ---
**Author:** ![anomalous1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e56c9b/32.png) [@anomalous1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anomalous1)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2017, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shitty-haircut-and-cant-say-anything/793010/14 "2017-08-09T02:25:39Z")
> [@Kropotkin](#): > > Count your blessings. A friend of mine went a little crazy watching a shopping channel and bought face cream hawked by Phyllis Diller :eek: and a Flobee, which is a hair clipper that attaches to the hose on your vacuum to suck up the cut hair. The sound is like having a jet take off 100 feet from your head. She felt guilty about spending the money so in order to “make the Flobee pay for itself,” gave him haircuts about every 4 days for a month or so. He took it like a man. A man with a very bad haircut that did not grow an eighth of an inch for over a month. It certainly does suck! Totally beat Flobee by many years; [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y6okyW7SHng](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y6okyW7SHng) ---
**Author:** ![casdave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@casdave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/casdave)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2017, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shitty-haircut-and-cant-say-anything/793010/15 "2017-08-09T17:57:14Z")
I guess you’ll have to live with the old adage, The difference between a bad haircut and a decent haircut is about a fortnight ---
**Author:** ![Ravenman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ravenman/32/2929_2.png) [@Ravenman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ravenman)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2017, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shitty-haircut-and-cant-say-anything/793010/16 "2017-08-09T18:18:38Z")
> [@anomalous1](#): > > Totally beat Flobee by many years; [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y6okyW7SHng](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y6okyW7SHng) The Wayne’s World movie was 1992, and the Flowbee was sold starting in 1988. And Doc Brown’s time machine was made famous in 1985. ---
**Author:** ![anomalous1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e56c9b/32.png) [@anomalous1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anomalous1)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2017, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shitty-haircut-and-cant-say-anything/793010/17 "2017-08-10T20:01:09Z")
Ninja’d hard… sort of. I always thought Wayne’s World came out in the 80’s. So much for my quip. ---
**Author:** ![CelticKnot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/celticknot/32/3392_2.png) [@CelticKnot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CelticKnot)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2017, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shitty-haircut-and-cant-say-anything/793010/18 "2017-08-11T07:28:27Z")
In some parts of the country we can say “high and tight” and a barber would know what that means. There aren’t any barbers here, so we tell them “#1 fade on the sides and back, and leave about 1 inch on the top.” Some do a fine job, others can’t handle this. My husband would be happy to shave his head, but his head shape is not at all right for that. Very grateful that he shows no sign of male pattern baldness, despite his maternal grandfather’s very bare head. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2017, 8:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shitty-haircut-and-cant-say-anything/793010/19 "2017-08-11T08:42:15Z")
I have stupid useless hair that never did a damn thing I wanted it to. I lived through periods where if you didn’t style your hair some way you were an outcast, but every time I tried, it just never took, it resisted all methods of control and shape and just floofed back into stupidity. It wasn’t until I was well into my 30s before I gave up trying and just got an all-over even cut with the shears. And even though that’s consistent and rarely goes wrong, it does still look ridiculous sometimes. Thank heaven for hats.