# Shock! Gasp! Horror! Sarcasm! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 9, 2003, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shock-gasp-horror-sarcasm/187170 "2003-07-09T05:29:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2003, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shock-gasp-horror-sarcasm/187170/1 "2003-07-09T05:29:53Z")
[Britney isn’t a virgin.](http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/nm/20030708/en_nm/people_spears_dc_4) No shit. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Necromancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ac91a4/32.png) [@Necromancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Necromancer)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2003, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shock-gasp-horror-sarcasm/187170/2 "2003-07-09T06:03:25Z")
Ha. I wonder what the big deal is. Did the record company think she would sell less records if she wasn’t a virgin? ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2003, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shock-gasp-horror-sarcasm/187170/3 "2003-07-09T06:30:35Z")
If it had been Virgin records, maybe. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2003, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shock-gasp-horror-sarcasm/187170/4 "2003-07-09T06:52:35Z")
Well, does it matter that she lost it at the age of twelve to a fellow mouseketeer with a flute? ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2003, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shock-gasp-horror-sarcasm/187170/5 "2003-07-09T07:01:39Z")
> [@](#): > > For now, Spears said, she’s hunting far afield for a new beau – especially in Australia and Spain where men are less “fuddy duddy.” Well I’m out, I don’t date women I haven’t had sex with. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2003, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shock-gasp-horror-sarcasm/187170/6 "2003-07-09T12:09:18Z")
I loved the serious expression on the local newscaster’s face as he read the teleprompter on this. I pretty much stopped watching the news after 9/11, and this is half the reason why. Maybe 3/4 of the reason. WTF is this doing in the early local news in a major market? ---
**Author:** ![pencilpusher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d6d6ee/32.png) [@pencilpusher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pencilpusher)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2003, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shock-gasp-horror-sarcasm/187170/7 "2003-07-09T17:50:40Z")
I wonder if she’s bicurious… ---
**Author:** ![No\_Me\_Ayudes\_Compadre](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/no_me_ayudes_compadre/32/5224_2.png) [@No\_Me\_Ayudes\_Compadre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/No_Me_Ayudes_Compadre)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2003, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shock-gasp-horror-sarcasm/187170/8 "2003-07-09T18:19:42Z")
There was a note on this in the _Reforma_ newspaper too. I put the translated quotes from “W” into Babelfish, and got this interesting bit on her loss of virginity: “Most painful than I have never experimented was that rupture” And some insight on Colin: “Yes, I kissed it… It is the prettiest thing… It is a tremendous type” And of her disappointment with Evil Justin: “I never thought that it would go where Barbarian the Walters to betray me.” ---
**Author:** ![Interrobang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/interrobang/32/17463_2.png) [@Interrobang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Interrobang)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2003, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shock-gasp-horror-sarcasm/187170/9 "2003-07-09T20:13:45Z")
Gossip/Celebrity News headlines from Reuters\_ - Britney Spears Says She’s Not a Virgin - Jolie Discusses Sex, Self-Mutilation in Interview Poor Brit. Trumped again. I know which one I clicked on first . . . I half expected a headline like this: - Britney Spears Sorry She Ever Mentioned the Virgin Thing ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2003, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shock-gasp-horror-sarcasm/187170/10 "2003-07-09T20:21:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Michael Ellis \* > \*\*[Britney isn’t a virgin.](http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/nm/20030708/en_nm/people_spears_dc_4) Hmmm … the article says she boinked Justin Timberlake “two years into the relationship.” When did the two of them start going out, again? ---
**Author:** ![Binarydrone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@Binarydrone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Binarydrone)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2003, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shock-gasp-horror-sarcasm/187170/11 "2003-07-09T20:33:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Interrobang!? \* > \*\*…Jolie Discusses Sex, Self-Mutilation in Interview > \*\* I so need a link here! ---
**Author:** ![Interrobang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/interrobang/32/17463_2.png) [@Interrobang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Interrobang)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2003, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shock-gasp-horror-sarcasm/187170/12 "2003-07-09T20:46:43Z")
> [@](#): > > I so need a link here! [Sorry](http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=765&ncid=766&e=2&u=/nm/20030709/people_nm/people_jolie_dc) – I should’ve thought of that. More articles about the interview can be found through [Google News](http://news.google.com/news?q=angelina+jolie&hl=en&lr=lang_en&ie=UTF-8&edition=&scoring=d). ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2003, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shock-gasp-horror-sarcasm/187170/13 "2003-07-12T00:26:51Z")
What did Angelina Jolie expect? She married a guy named “Billy Bob”, fer cryin’ out loud.