# Shodan gives us all his regards.

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shodan-gives-us-all-his-regards/627825>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [July 10, 2012, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shodan-gives-us-all-his-regards/627825 "2012-07-10T19:58:01Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 10

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**Author:** ![Crazyhorse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crazyhorse/32/31_2.png) [@Crazyhorse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crazyhorse)\
**Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 8:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shodan-gives-us-all-his-regards/627825/181 "2012-07-11T08:44:12Z")

</div>

Here’s a user script for Chrome and Firefox that will replace “Regards,” with a random signature from a list of your own entries.

It’s a lot of fun.

Sincerely,  
Crazyhorse

```auto

// ==UserScript==
// @name Disregards
// @namespace Disregards
// @description Disregards
// @include http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/*
// ==/UserScript==

(function() 
 {
    
    // Add new signatures to the list in the format below. 
    // Signatures should be within quotes and each entry separated by commas

    var newSignatures = 
[

    
            "I will always love you,",
            "Of course I may very well be wrong,", 
            "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts,",
            "Until we meet again,"

];

    var numSigs = newSignatures.length;
    var allNameHeaders = document.getElementsByClassName('bigusername');
    var testHeaders = document.getElementsByClassName ('alt2');
    for (var i = 0; i < allNameHeaders.length; i++)
    {
    
    var username = allNameHeaders*.innerHTML;
    if(username=="Shodan")
    {
    var randomSig = Math.floor((Math.random()*numSigs)); 
      var testmessage = testHeaders[i + 2];
      var testtext = testmessage.parentNode.nextSibling.nextSibling;
    testtext.innerHTML = testtext.innerHTML.replace("Regards,", newSignatures[randomSig]); 
    }

    }

 })();

```

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Crazyhorse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crazyhorse/32/31_2.png) [@Crazyhorse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crazyhorse)\
**Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 9:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shodan-gives-us-all-his-regards/627825/182 "2012-07-11T09:07:41Z")

</div>

> [@Crazyhorse](#):
>
> Here’s a user script for Chrome and Firefox that will replace “Regards,” with a random signature from a list of your own entries.
> 
> It’s a lot of fun.
> 
> Sincerely,  
> Crazyhorse

PS this script works with Shodan’s post in the first page of this thread ([Shodan gives us all his regards. - The BBQ Pit - Straight Dope Message Board](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=658097))

In other threads it may or may not work as it uses an unreliable way of finding “Regards”.

Saludos,  
Crazyhorse

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\
**Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shodan-gives-us-all-his-regards/627825/183 "2012-07-11T12:00:04Z")

</div>

> [@A Monkey With a Gun](#):
>
> **Shodan** , in all seriousness, it’s not the content of your posts I’m pitting. I frequently agree with you. It’s the sign off. Why do you do that? I have never read your reason for tagging every single post. So my question to you is simple.
> 
> Why do you do that?

If you are really interested, have a read thru [one](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=494939&highlight=Shodan) of the several threads devoted to the topic.

If that is too much, the reason is because I like doing it.

Regards,  
Shodan

---

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**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\
**Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shodan-gives-us-all-his-regards/627825/184 "2012-07-11T12:15:53Z")

</div>

> [@Crazyhorse](#):
>
> PS this script works with Shodan’s post in the first page of this thread ([Shodan gives us all his regards. - The BBQ Pit - Straight Dope Message Board](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=658097))
> 
> In other threads it may or may not work as it uses an unreliable way of finding “Regards”.
> 
> Saludos,  
> Crazyhorse

I swear to god, Crazyhorse is the Doper-whisperer. The moment she finds something that we keep whining about, rebelling against or just rallying for, she will find a script that should shut you the fuck up about it.

---

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**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\
**Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shodan-gives-us-all-his-regards/627825/185 "2012-07-11T12:31:02Z")

</div>

It used to give me the shits but recently I chided a guy at work for signing his emails with “Regards” and he responded by modifying it to “Warm Regards.”

It then occurred to me that I don’t really care all that much about the recipients of most of my work emails so I now sign mine with the totally honest:

Lukewarm Regards  
don’t ask

---

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**Author:** ![ScarletNumber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c0e974/32.png) [@ScarletNumber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ScarletNumber)\
**Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shodan-gives-us-all-his-regards/627825/186 "2012-07-11T12:38:13Z")

</div>

It is completely obnoxious and is done for that reason.

---

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**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\
**Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shodan-gives-us-all-his-regards/627825/187 "2012-07-11T13:02:49Z")

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> [@magellan01](#):
>
> I’m the truth.

You’d be lucky to manage truthiness. 😃

---

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**Author:** ![Suil\_Dubh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/85f322/32.png) [@Suil\_Dubh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suil_Dubh)\
**Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shodan-gives-us-all-his-regards/627825/188 "2012-07-11T13:19:47Z")

</div>

Forget all this signature business, what I want to know is why the hell we can’t have avatars.

Someone should start a poll about this in ATMB.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Baal\_Houtham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baal_houtham/32/13604_2.png) [@Baal\_Houtham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baal_Houtham)\
**Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shodan-gives-us-all-his-regards/627825/189 "2012-07-11T13:23:33Z")

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> [@Yookeroo](#):
>
> Signatures, like avatars, cab be turned off. Unless some idiot decides to include it in the text of the actual post.

This counter-argument is not original with me, but: it’s possible to put “idiots” on a list that makes their posts not display.

---

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**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\
**Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shodan-gives-us-all-his-regards/627825/190 "2012-07-11T13:27:05Z")

</div>

> [@Shodan](#):
>
> If you are really interested, have a read thru [one](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=494939&highlight=Shodan) of the several threads devoted to the topic.
> 
> If that is too much, the reason is because I like doing it.
> 
> Regards,  
> Shodan

Asked and answered. Now why wasn’t this thread opened in GQ?

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\
**Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shodan-gives-us-all-his-regards/627825/191 "2012-07-11T13:41:14Z")

</div>

> [@RaftPeople](#):
>
> Retardedly Yours,  
> RaftPeople

I’m starting to feel like a creepy stalker following you around LOLing at everything you say, but that is terrific!

> [@Crazyhorse](#):
>
> Here’s a user script for Chrome and Firefox that will replace “Regards,” with a random signature from a list of your own entries.
> 
> It’s a lot of fun.
> 
> Sincerely,  
> Crazyhorse

Excellence!

Nerdily eager to try this at home,  
MeanOldLady

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Crazyhorse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crazyhorse/32/31_2.png) [@Crazyhorse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crazyhorse)\
**Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shodan-gives-us-all-his-regards/627825/192 "2012-07-11T13:56:36Z")

</div>

> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#):
>
> I swear to god, Crazyhorse is the Doper-whisperer. The moment she finds something that we keep whining about, rebelling against or just rallying for, she will find a script that should shut you the fuck up about it.

With praise like this I had to make a version that works in all threads. (But I’m a he for the record)

> [@MeanOldLady](#):
>
> Nerdily eager to try this at home,  
> MeanOldLady

Try this one - to make it simple this replaces any instance of “regards,” with a random signature from the list. (Notice I had to lowercase that word or it would be replaced in my own post)

It can be quite amusing depending on what you put in the list. This seems to work in all threads.

**But be aware of an important consideration** : if you replace the signature with some funny string, and then you quote that post, the quote will also include the funny string which would technically break the rule about editing inside quote boxes - so use it cautiously with that in mind.

```auto

// ==UserScript==
// @name Disregards
// @namespace Disregards
// @description Disregards
// @include http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/*

(function() {
var newSignatures = 
[

    // Add new signatures to the list in the format below. 
    // Signatures should be within quotes and each entry separated by commas

            "I will always love you,",
            "Of course I may very well be wrong,", 
            "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts,",
            "Until we meet again,"

];
var replacements, regex, key, textnodes, node, s;
replacements = {"I will always love you," : ""};
var numSigs = newSignatures.length;
var randomSig = Math.floor((Math.random()*numSigs));
regex = {};
for (key in replacements) {
regex[key] = new RegExp(key, 'g');
}
textnodes = document.evaluate( "//body//text()", document, null, XPathResult.UNORDERED_NODE_SNAPSHOT_TYPE, null);
for (var i = 0; i < textnodes.snapshotLength; i++) {
node = textnodes.snapshotItem(i);
s = node.data;
for (key in replacements) {
s = s.replace(regex[key], newSignatures[randomSig]);
}
node.data = s;
}
 
})();

```

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Crazyhorse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crazyhorse/32/31_2.png) [@Crazyhorse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crazyhorse)\
**Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shodan-gives-us-all-his-regards/627825/193 "2012-07-11T14:11:13Z")

</div>

> [@Crazyhorse](#):
>
> \*\* But be aware of an important consideration\*\*: if you replace the signature with some funny string, and then you quote that post, the quote will also include the funny string which would technically break the rule about editing inside quote boxes - so use it cautiously with that in mind.

Hah, and with that in mind I still left the script enabled when I posted this, and it edited the word “Regards” inside the script - here is the un-scriptified version.

```auto

// ==UserScript==
// @name Disregards
// @namespace Disregards
// @description Disregards
// @include http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/*

(function() {
var newSignatures = 
[

    // Add new signatures to the list in the format below. 
    // Signatures should be within quotes and each entry separated by commas

            "I will always love you,",
            "Of course I may very well be wrong,", 
            "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts,",
            "Until we meet again,"

];
var replacements, regex, key, textnodes, node, s;
replacements = {"Regards," : ""};
var numSigs = newSignatures.length;
var randomSig = Math.floor((Math.random()*numSigs));
regex = {};
for (key in replacements) {
regex[key] = new RegExp(key, 'g');
}
textnodes = document.evaluate( "//body//text()", document, null, XPathResult.UNORDERED_NODE_SNAPSHOT_TYPE, null);
for (var i = 0; i < textnodes.snapshotLength; i++) {
node = textnodes.snapshotItem(i);
s = node.data;
for (key in replacements) {
s = s.replace(regex[key], newSignatures[randomSig]);
}
node.data = s;
}
 
})();

```

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\
**Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shodan-gives-us-all-his-regards/627825/194 "2012-07-11T14:13:46Z")

</div>

> [@Suil\_Dubh](#):
>
> Forget all this signature business, what I want to know is why the hell we can’t have avatars.
> 
> Someone should start a poll about this in ATMB.

But pages 2 and 3 is the best part.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Suil\_Dubh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/85f322/32.png) [@Suil\_Dubh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suil_Dubh)\
**Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shodan-gives-us-all-his-regards/627825/195 "2012-07-11T14:18:20Z")

</div>

> [@cmyk](#):
>
> But pages 2 and 3 is the best part.

Non sequitur?

I hardly even knew her!

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecc23a/32.png) [@The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_wind_of_my_soul)\
**Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shodan-gives-us-all-his-regards/627825/196 "2012-07-11T14:23:24Z")

</div>

> [@Lobohan](#):
>
> ALT + 0133.
> 
> Also, the only reason to currently buy a Mac for graphic design is if you have too much money. 😃
> 
> \*Balls Nasty Digital Typesetter on PC,  
> \*Lobohan

I’m a tech writer, and I am so excited about this discovery it’s almost embarrassing!

> [@EddyTeddyFreddy](#):
>
> What I was taught, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back in my apprentice proofreader days, by a hoary old veteran of the craft, was this: An ellipsis in the middle of text has three dots. An ellipsis ending a sentence has three dots plus a fourth for the period ending the sentence.
> 
> Thus: An ellipsis … has three dots. An ellipsis ending a sentence has three dots plus a fourth for the period…
> 
> But nobody seems to follow that rule these days, so I don’t bother with it any more.

You’re absolutely right, and in professional writing, people do still follow that rule.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\
**Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shodan-gives-us-all-his-regards/627825/197 "2012-07-11T14:24:21Z")

</div>

> [@Suil\_Dubh](#):
>
> Non sequitur?
> 
> I hardly even knew her!

The eighth planet is Neptune!

Read post 188’s title!

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\
**Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shodan-gives-us-all-his-regards/627825/198 "2012-07-11T14:25:43Z")

</div>

> [@elucidator](#):
>
> Was it “Burrito, Ergo Sum”?

Wouldn’t that be “burrito, ergo petum”?

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\
**Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shodan-gives-us-all-his-regards/627825/199 "2012-07-11T14:28:52Z")

</div>

> [@Nava](#):
>
> Wouldn’t that be “burrito, ergo petum”?

Burrito, ergo rectum.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\
**Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shodan-gives-us-all-his-regards/627825/200 "2012-07-11T14:32:29Z")

</div>

> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#):
>
> Asked and answered. Now why wasn’t this thread opened in GQ?

Because it tends to turn into multi-page trainwrecks where a certain minority of Dopers claim [ul][li]“It’s only common courtesy for you to do whatever I tell you. If you don’t, that’s trolling!”[/li][li]“You post in ways I don’t like after I told I don’t like it. That’s trolling!”[/li][li]“You admitted you mean it sarcastically sometimes. That’s trolling!”[/li][li]“You know I don’t like it, so you are doing it just to piss me off. That’s trolling!”[/li][/ul]Etc.

Besides, it’s a done deal. The mods have ruled already.

Now, on with the nerd-gasms about scripting and punctuation and fart jokes in Spanish.

Regards,  
Shodan

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