# Shooting at my therapy center... talk me down **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 17, 2012, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shooting-at-my-therapy-center-talk-me-down/644333 "2012-12-17T19:12:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Feyrat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/fbc32d/32.png) [@Feyrat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feyrat)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shooting-at-my-therapy-center-talk-me-down/644333/1 "2012-12-17T19:12:16Z")
I am seriously freaking out. I’m under treatment for some fairly severe anxiety issues that prevent me from leaving the house most of the time unless I’m in the company of my husband or parents or certain other individuals with whom I feel “safe,” and even then, I do not stay long. It took me quite some time to feel comfortable with the therapist and center where I’m being treated, and even there I still have a trusted person drive me there and wait for me to get out. This morning, three people were shot in the parking lot. Now, apparently it was a personal confrontation and was over quickly enough that the chance of bystanders being involved was small, but still, I’m seriously panicking. I have therapy scheduled there tomorrow morning and just the idea of going to it is freaking me out - which of course is exactly when I NEED my therapist. Who is probably not have a great day of her own. I had trouble sleeping last night, thinking about how freaking unsafe the world is when a random guy just walks into a kindergarten and starts shooting babies with a rifle. Now I’m just completely losing it. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shooting-at-my-therapy-center-talk-me-down/644333/2 "2012-12-17T19:15:24Z")
Your fear is unrational, but that doesn’t make it unreal. Could it be therapeutic just to sit with the fear in a safe place for right now? ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shooting-at-my-therapy-center-talk-me-down/644333/3 "2012-12-17T19:20:48Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Your fear is unrational, but that doesn’t make it unreal. I’d call getting freaked out by a shooting in the parking lot of a place I visit on a regular basic a very rational fear. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shooting-at-my-therapy-center-talk-me-down/644333/4 "2012-12-17T19:24:50Z")
It’s rational, but I don’t think it’s likely that that particular bolt of lightning will strike that exact spot again. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Hamster\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8edcca/32.png) [@The\_Hamster\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Hamster_King)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shooting-at-my-therapy-center-talk-me-down/644333/5 "2012-12-17T19:26:53Z")
How often have you heard of two shooting incidents happening at the same location two days in a row? ---
**Author:** ![Eureka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/74df32/32.png) [@Eureka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eureka)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shooting-at-my-therapy-center-talk-me-down/644333/6 "2012-12-17T19:31:33Z")
Any chance you could call your therapist and arrange for a appointment over the phone rather than at the office just this once? Because I think your freak out is understandable if not necessarily proportionate, and talking with someone who can give you some reality checks right before the holidays might be a good idea, but if you can avoid adding the stressors of dealing with the actual location it might not hurt. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shooting-at-my-therapy-center-talk-me-down/644333/7 "2012-12-17T19:31:50Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > It’s rational, but I don’t think it’s likely that that particular bolt of lightning will strike that exact spot again. > [@The\_Hamster\_King](#): > > How often have you heard of two shooting incidents happening at the same location two days in a row? That’s not that point. It’s the “I could’ve been there”/“This shit is real”/“It happens at places I go to” feeling moreso then “I’m worried it’s going to happen tomorrow when I go back, while I’m there”. My store got held up about a year ago by a guy that probably didn’t even have a real gun. A year ago. I’m still a bit jumpy after dark when the store is empty and someone walks in too quickly or seems a bit off. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shooting-at-my-therapy-center-talk-me-down/644333/8 "2012-12-17T19:32:39Z")
Would it make you feel safer if you make a plan with your husband as to what you will do if shooting starts? I have one with my sons- they are to immediately throw their bodies over mine. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![maggenpye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecc23a/32.png) [@maggenpye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maggenpye)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shooting-at-my-therapy-center-talk-me-down/644333/9 "2012-12-17T19:34:33Z")
I think it’s really cool that you’ve realised your therapist is probably freaking about this too. Do you have any breathing exercises? Practice them today (or whatever calming routine works best for you), as much as you can while you are in a safe place, then use them to get through the carpark tomorrow. Best of luck. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shooting-at-my-therapy-center-talk-me-down/644333/10 "2012-12-17T19:34:43Z")
Very good point, **Joey P**. I’ve been through that myself, several times. But I think what helped me is having to go back there anyway. Falling off of a horse and all that. If I’d have avoided those places, it might have grown the fear. That was my experience, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shooting-at-my-therapy-center-talk-me-down/644333/11 "2012-12-17T19:49:05Z")
I am obviously not a mental health professional, so I apologize if I’m way off base here. I feel like the thing to take away from this is that this particular fear is **ok.** This is rational fear. I’d be scared too! I’d want to take somebody with me, and I’d probably give the parking lot a good long once-over before I got out of my car. You’ve been spending a lot of time struggling with irrational fears, and you’ve been making progress. This particular fear, though, is healthy fear. Your brain is trying to protect you right now. You’re being perfectly normal. So I guess what I’m trying to get at here is that you should focus not on quelling your anxiety over this, so much focus on responding appropriately to your **healthy reaction to this situation**. Maybe you can have a session or two with your therapist via phone, and he can help you with that reaction? ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shooting-at-my-therapy-center-talk-me-down/644333/12 "2012-12-17T19:53:40Z")
Couldn’t have said it better myself, **Johnny Bravo**. ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shooting-at-my-therapy-center-talk-me-down/644333/13 "2012-12-17T19:54:39Z")
Well said, Mr Bravo. ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shooting-at-my-therapy-center-talk-me-down/644333/14 "2012-12-17T21:15:33Z")
A lot of people are shaky right now, and it would be very disturbing to have violence occur some place you routinely go. There’s never been violence at my work place, but today employees were discussing how easy it would be for someone to bypass the security. Would it help if your driver drops you off right in front of the door tomorrow? ---
**Author:** ![Feyrat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/fbc32d/32.png) [@Feyrat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feyrat)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shooting-at-my-therapy-center-talk-me-down/644333/15 "2012-12-17T21:46:40Z")
Thanks a lot guys, seriously. Especially **Johnny Bravo** for pointing out this is actually a healthy reaction - it doesn’t even occur to me that I have those anymore! 😉 Breathing exercises have been done, a quick check-in with my therapist has been done (I’d be a basket-case if I was her, but I guess that’s why I’m in therapy and she’s a therapist!) and tomorrow I’m gonna go in. My husband’s taking me, and I’m insisting that he wait INSIDE the waiting room for me instead of reading a book in the car. It’s silly, but I don’t want him in the parking lot, because he’s one of those people who goes TOWARD trouble to see if he can help. And I’m staying away from the news tonight. I swear, I’m so unimpressed with the media lately. They really want to make things as big a deal as they can possibly swing. It makes me mad. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shooting-at-my-therapy-center-talk-me-down/644333/16 "2012-12-17T23:58:25Z")
> [@Feyrat](#): > > Thanks a lot guys, seriously. Especially **Johnny Bravo** for pointing out this is actually a healthy reaction - it doesn’t even occur to me that I have those anymore! 😉 … Well, that’s gotta be a nice feeling! 🙂 > [@Feyrat](#): > > … My husband’s taking me, and I’m insisting that he wait INSIDE the waiting room for me instead of reading a book in the car… I think that’s a solid plan. Good luck! ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2012, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shooting-at-my-therapy-center-talk-me-down/644333/17 "2012-12-19T17:47:58Z")
It’s a completely understandable reaction, and I’m glad you’ve found a workaround (husband in the waiting room as opposed to in the car). Have you considered a therapy animal? I’ve struggled with depression and some anxiety, and if there was one thing that kept me centered and calm, it was my mom’s sweet, small dog cuddled in my arms. Since I moved away from my parents, I get my dog fix at a friends. Their dog is about 10 times larger than my mom’s, but the affection and comfort is the same. ---
**Author:** ![Eureka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/74df32/32.png) [@Eureka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eureka)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2012, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shooting-at-my-therapy-center-talk-me-down/644333/18 "2012-12-19T20:44:52Z")
If you went to the appointment, you succeeded at a difficult task. If having your husband in the waiting room made you feel less nervous (for you or for him), then having him in the waiting room was the right choice. ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2012, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shooting-at-my-therapy-center-talk-me-down/644333/19 "2012-12-19T22:09:43Z")
> [@Joey\_P](#): > > I’d call getting freaked out by a shooting in the parking lot of a place I visit on a regular basic a very rational fear. So would I. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2012, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shooting-at-my-therapy-center-talk-me-down/644333/20 "2012-12-19T22:44:03Z")
> [@Feyrat](#): > > And I’m staying away from the news tonight. I swear, I’m so unimpressed with the media lately. They really want to make things as big a deal as they can possibly swing. It makes me mad. The only valid reason to watch the news is to learn who advertises on it, then not buy their product. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shooting-at-my-therapy-center-talk-me-down/644333.md?page=2)