# Shopping channel snark **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 3, 2014, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shopping-channel-snark/706226 "2014-12-03T14:59:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2014, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shopping-channel-snark/706226/241 "2014-12-05T00:25:44Z")
> [@Coffeecup](#): > > Okay, incoming snark, everybody duck.šŸ˜‰ > > I love JTV, but they seriously got in my nerves last week. One of the female hosts (canā€™t remember who) was pushing some jewelry item and said something they all say, about how you should give jewelry as a gift because it is permanent, unlike flowers which shrivel up in a few days. Fine, I agreed with that. But then the hostā€™s brain took a little vacation. She suggested that the next time someone dies, you could send the bereaved survivor jewelry instead of flowers. Wouldnā€™t that be just super? Sheā€™d be so touched, and remember your thoughtfulness, and enjoy her jewelry forever. > > Uhā€¦ Nooooooooo! Just send the flowers, or make her a casserole or something. Can you imagine looking in your jewelry box a few months after the funeral: ā€œOh goody! Hereā€™s the chrome diopside ring my friend Sally sent me on the day my beloved husband was buried. I think Iā€™ll wear it today!ā€ Gag. This is duck-worthy snark, in your world? Really? You people are nice and all and thereā€™s some serious potential amongst you here but you are operating on a whole different level of intellect and snark. I for one am a little alarmed that a Shopping Channel Discussion is going to be at the top of SDMB but I guess thatā€™s democracy, so carry on. ---
**Author:** ![Zedlepplien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/f04885/32.png) [@Zedlepplien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zedlepplien)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2014, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shopping-channel-snark/706226/242 "2014-12-05T00:31:44Z")
> [@LauraPalmer72](#): > > yay!! freedom!! suck it previouslytv lol. hi everyone. šŸ˜› Ainā€™t that the truth? Suck it! ---
**Author:** ![Lasciel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e79b87/32.png) [@Lasciel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lasciel)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2014, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shopping-channel-snark/706226/243 "2014-12-05T00:38:02Z")
> [@chiroptera](#): > > This is duck-worthy snark, in your world? Really? > > You people are nice and all and thereā€™s some serious potential amongst you here but you are operating on a whole different level of intellect and snark. I for one am a little alarmed that a Shopping Channel Discussion is going to be at the top of SDMB but I guess thatā€™s democracy, so carry on. Theyā€™ve apparently been in a terrible place where theyā€™ve had to be all super-nice or get their threads deleted. Sounds hellish. No wonder theyā€™re all nice and sweet and careful. šŸ˜ƒ Give them a bit of time, and I bet weā€™ll corrupt them all good and proper-like. Besides, just wait til they discover they can PIT some of that QVC crapola. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2014, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shopping-channel-snark/706226/244 "2014-12-05T00:39:27Z")
> [@Honey](#): > > Perhaps a glossary of nicknames and terms would be helpful to newcomers. Iā€™ll start with some nicknames, and you guys can add some more. > > The Duchess - Lisa Robertson > Wheels - Dan Wheeler > Yum Yum - David Venable > Officer Brown - Jayne Brown > The Elf - Jane Treacy > Shawnie Poo - Shawn Killinger > Farmer Dan - Dan Hughes > Saint Marybeth - Mary Beth Roe Can I keep my SDMB cred (assuming I had any) if I admit I will linger on QVC if David Venable is having food related orgasm over caramel covered apples or pre-packaged BBQ? Iā€™m like a moth to a flame. I feel dirty now. ---
**Author:** ![Zedlepplien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/f04885/32.png) [@Zedlepplien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zedlepplien)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2014, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shopping-channel-snark/706226/245 "2014-12-05T00:43:54Z")
> [@Zedlepplien](#): > > Ainā€™t that the truth? Suck it! I meant suck it Previously TV, not laurapalmer! Sorry! ---
**Author:** ![Beauty\_Taint](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7993a0/32.png) [@Beauty\_Taint](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beauty_Taint)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2014, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shopping-channel-snark/706226/246 "2014-12-05T00:46:17Z")
> [@Honey](#): > > Perhaps a glossary of nicknames and terms would be helpful to newcomers. Iā€™ll start with some nicknames, and you guys can add some more. > > The Duchess - Lisa Robertson > Wheels - Dan Wheeler > Yum Yum - David Venable > Officer Brown - Jayne Brown > The Elf - Jane Treacy > Shawnie Poo - Shawn Killinger > Farmer Dan - Dan Hughes > Saint Marybeth - Mary Beth Roe Good idea, Honey. Some below are also added nics for those you already mentioned šŸ™‚ The Frau, Trevorā€™s mom - Jill Bauer Jane Ego Elf, Tiny Dancer, JRT - Jane Treacy Droopy Dog, Homewrecker - Kirsten Lundquist School marm - Mary Beth Roe Our Shawn, Poo, Shawnie Sue BooHoo / No clue or any combination of these things - Shawn Killinger Miss Southern Simper, Miss Stars and Garters, anything about being sickly sweet or corn pone, but fake ā€œsouthern galā€-Albany Irvin Thatā€™s all I can think of for hostsā€¦the rest usually we just call their real names pretty much, I think. There are more for vendors, too. Canā€™t think ATM, except Dotty, The Grater, The Driedel, Kooky Crazy - Susan Graver the Qā€™s ā€œexclusive designer!ā€ Thatā€™s all I have ATM ---
**Author:** ![Honey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honey/32/5074_2.png) [@Honey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honey)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2014, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shopping-channel-snark/706226/247 "2014-12-05T00:47:30Z")
> [@chiroptera](#): > > This is duck-worthy snark, in your world? Really? > > You people are nice and all and thereā€™s some serious potential amongst you here but you are operating on a whole different level of intellect and snark. I for one am a little alarmed that a Shopping Channel Discussion is going to be at the top of SDMB but I guess thatā€™s democracy, so carry on. You canā€™t be seriousā€¦with some of the thread titles here? šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![Zedlepplien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/f04885/32.png) [@Zedlepplien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zedlepplien)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2014, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shopping-channel-snark/706226/248 "2014-12-05T00:48:09Z")
> [@Zedlepplien](#): > > Ainā€™t that the truth? Suck it! > [@famousblueraincoat](#): > > Brava Coffeecup! Srsly, the mods on the other forum are overkill, if people discuss their personal lives on air in front of supposed millions, why do the mods feel they are suddenly protecting privacy, nah, that is BS. their censorship seems "off "to me, and the ads throughout the page have everything to do with it. The mods dont give a rats ass, but their advertisers on that blog, i am sure do. By loosing OUR traffic, the advertisers are hurting moreā€¦ oh wellz! What pisses me off is one minute theyā€™re your buddyā€¦ the next theyā€™re changing the rules mid-stream, and HOW DARE YOU question their authority and even propose a discussion or clarification on the subject. Absolute Rule! Are they North Korea, or what? ---
**Author:** ![Zedlepplien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/f04885/32.png) [@Zedlepplien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zedlepplien)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2014, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shopping-channel-snark/706226/249 "2014-12-05T00:56:00Z")
> [@Honey](#): > > I am creating this thread for a bunch of refugees of a recently shuttered snark forum. Everyone is welcome, of course. > > Snark away my friends. Thanks for setting this up, and notifying me. Much appreciated also, BeautyTaint, the PM. ---
**Author:** ![Honey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honey/32/5074_2.png) [@Honey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honey)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2014, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shopping-channel-snark/706226/250 "2014-12-05T00:58:40Z")
Ugh. More gifts of spite. Kitchen shears in a gift box. Click ---
**Author:** ![Coffeecup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f04885/32.png) [@Coffeecup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coffeecup)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2014, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shopping-channel-snark/706226/251 "2014-12-05T01:03:00Z")
> [@chiroptera](#): > > This is duck-worthy snark, in your world? Really? > > You people are nice and all and thereā€™s some serious potential amongst you here but you are operating on a whole different level of intellect and snark. I for one am a little alarmed that a Shopping Channel Discussion is going to be at the top of SDMB but I guess thatā€™s democracy, so carry on. I was joking about ā€œeverybody duck;ā€ thatā€™s why I put the winking icon after it. The truth is that weā€™re still feeling shell-shocked about the mods over there dropping pianos on our heads for no good reason. ---
**Author:** ![Honey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honey/32/5074_2.png) [@Honey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honey)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2014, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shopping-channel-snark/706226/252 "2014-12-05T01:06:53Z")
> [@Beauty\_Taint](#): > > Good idea, Honey. Some below are also added nics for those you already mentioned šŸ™‚ > > The Frau, Trevorā€™s mom - Jill Bauer > Jane Ego Elf, Tiny Dancer, JRT - Jane Treacy > Droopy Dog, Homewrecker - Kirsten Lundquist > School marm - Mary Beth Roe > Our Shawn, Poo, Shawnie Sue BooHoo / No clue or any combination of these things - Shawn Killinger > Miss Southern Simper, Miss Stars and Garters, anything about being sickly sweet or corn pone, but fake ā€œsouthern galā€-Albany Irvin > > Thatā€™s all I can think of for hostsā€¦the rest usually we just call their real names pretty much, I think. > > There are more for vendors, too. Canā€™t think ATM, except > > Dotty, The Grater, The Driedel, Kooky Crazy - Susan Graver the Qā€™s ā€œexclusive designer!ā€ > > Thatā€™s all I have ATM We canā€™t forget Chaz, the spaz Dean. ---
**Author:** ![Beauty\_Taint](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7993a0/32.png) [@Beauty\_Taint](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beauty_Taint)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2014, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shopping-channel-snark/706226/253 "2014-12-05T01:12:51Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > Can I keep my SDMB cred (assuming I had any) if I admit I will linger on QVC if David Venable is having food related orgasm over caramel covered apples or pre-packaged BBQ? Iā€™m like a moth to a flame. > > I feel dirty now. Hereā€™s your Scarlet ā€œQā€. The Parade of Shame will be scheduled for a later date. šŸ™‚ ---
**Author:** ![Honey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honey/32/5074_2.png) [@Honey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honey)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2014, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shopping-channel-snark/706226/254 "2014-12-05T01:12:53Z")
I have asked a mod to delete my last post. I realize that it may be offensive to some and I wasnā€™t even thinking. Sorry about that. ā˜¹ ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2014, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shopping-channel-snark/706226/255 "2014-12-05T01:17:30Z")
They prob wonā€™t do that. Rarely will they delete a post. Iā€™ll wear my Q with pride, tho! ---
**Author:** ![Honey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honey/32/5074_2.png) [@Honey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honey)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2014, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shopping-channel-snark/706226/256 "2014-12-05T01:22:50Z")
Oh yeah, they probably wonā€™t. Well, I apologize so donā€™t pit me. šŸ˜‰ ---
**Author:** ![Honey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honey/32/5074_2.png) [@Honey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honey)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2014, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shopping-channel-snark/706226/257 "2014-12-05T01:29:58Z")
Does anyone know why Iā€™m not able to edit my posts? I see other edited posts, so I think itā€™s just me. šŸ˜• ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2014, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shopping-channel-snark/706226/258 "2014-12-05T01:30:33Z")
> [@Honey](#): > > Does anyone know why Iā€™m not able to edit my posts? I see other edited posts, so I think itā€™s just me. šŸ˜• Five minute edit window. After that the edit button goes away. ---
**Author:** ![Fleurlelisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/35a633/32.png) [@Fleurlelisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fleurlelisa)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2014, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shopping-channel-snark/706226/259 "2014-12-05T02:00:47Z")
> [@Honey](#): > > We canā€™t forget Chaz, the spaz Dean. Dennis Basso-- Basshole Logo-- Logorags GILI-- Giggly Albany Irvin-- Albaninny ---
**Author:** ![Zedlepplien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/f04885/32.png) [@Zedlepplien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zedlepplien)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2014, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shopping-channel-snark/706226/260 "2014-12-05T02:30:58Z")
> [@Fleurlelisa](#): > > Dennis Basso-- Basshole > > Logo-- Logorags > > GILI-- Giggly > > Albany Irvin-- Albaninny Chaz. Otherwise known as crotch face. Can you say crotch? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shopping-channel-snark/706226.md?page=12) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shopping-channel-snark/706226.md?page=14)