# Shopping rant

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shopping-rant/666173>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [August 14, 2013, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shopping-rant/666173 "2013-08-14T01:06:07Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 4

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**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\
**Post date:** [August 15, 2013, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shopping-rant/666173/61 "2013-08-15T15:22:52Z")

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> [@Fenris](#):
>
> he sez to me: “Good morning!” (which forced…_forced_ me to respond with a “Good morning” back to him.

See, if you were a Sovereign Citizen, you could refuse to establish Joinder (or whatever the fuck they call it) and then file trillion dollar leins and lawsuits against both him and his company.

Maybe that’s the path for ABnormal to follow.

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**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\
**Post date:** [August 15, 2013, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shopping-rant/666173/62 "2013-08-15T15:44:00Z")

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> [@Chimera](#):
>
> See, if you were a Sovereign Citizen, you could refuse to establish Joinder (or whatever the fuck they call it) and then file trillion dollar leins and lawsuits against both him and his company.
> 
> Maybe that’s the path for ABnormal to follow.

I’m not certain of the legal nuances involved, but I’m pretty sure that his “Good morning!” was a Joinder-assault–it made me involved in him _against my will_.

Perhaps Amateur Barbarian with his greater knowledge of greeting-assault could help us here.

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**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\
**Post date:** [August 15, 2013, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shopping-rant/666173/63 "2013-08-15T16:19:22Z")

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Hey, there are [Assault Greeting Cards](http://fineartamerica.com/art/all/assault/greeting+cards)!

For an actual greeting-assault, I can’t help but visualize John Cleese leaning into someone screaming “GOOD MORNING! HOW ARE YOU!” at the top of his lungs.

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**Author:** ![stolatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@stolatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stolatt)\
**Post date:** [August 15, 2013, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shopping-rant/666173/64 "2013-08-15T16:39:24Z")

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We ask you if you need assistance finding anything because we don’t want to talk to you in five minutes when you can’t find the olives and you’re all pissed off about it. We give you courteous service at the checkout because most people don’t like feeling ignored. We are trying to get you in and out of the store as conveniently as possible because that’s our role as service people.  
I understand how much errands suck. Especially when it’s at the end of a long day full of work/school/home/kids. Just stop blaming the store employees for it.

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**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\
**Post date:** [August 15, 2013, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shopping-rant/666173/65 "2013-08-15T16:49:50Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> Originally Posted by CanvasShoes View Post  
> The only one that really annoys me is the clerks who INSIST upon having an answer to the question “how are you today”. I really dislike this question, and will usually politely side-step it by saying “hello” or “and how are you”.

> [@](#):
>
> Kaylasdad: I just respond with “Reasonably well, thank you.”

And what if I’m not “reasonably well”? I’m not going to lie just to fulfill some grocery store script. And I’m not going to bore them with why I’m not “fine” that’s MY business.

I get that their “how are you” is part of their (probably required) customer service jargon. My problem isn’t so much with the script but with the insistence, after I’ve side-stepped the question, of additional “how are yous”. It’s pretty obvious after their third attempt that they are trying to force you to conform to their idea of what the customer/clerk relationship dialogue should be.

Again this isn’t an every day occurrence, it’s that 1 out of a 100 clerks on occasion, (happens maybe once a month?) and I don’t get raging mad at it, I’m just curious as to why they’re so insistent.

I mean, …Why? Are they getting a quota for each “fine” answer they get? LET IT BE. 😃

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**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\
**Post date:** [August 15, 2013, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shopping-rant/666173/66 "2013-08-15T16:55:57Z")

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As well as could be expected

Won’t complain

Fair to middlin’

Could be better

Oh, you know

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**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\
**Post date:** [August 15, 2013, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shopping-rant/666173/67 "2013-08-15T17:04:19Z")

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> [@Inner\_Stickler](#):
>
> As well as could be expected
> 
> Won’t complain
> 
> Fair to middlin’
> 
> Could be better
> 
> Oh, you know

Agh! You rapemonger! 😃

Naah, if forced to it, I’ll usually distract them, “OH LOOK, my reward card! oooh thanks for scanning it” or my default is your number 3 “fair to middlin”.

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**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\
**Post date:** [August 15, 2013, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shopping-rant/666173/68 "2013-08-15T17:32:21Z")

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I think the default here in Minnesota is “not bad”.

Of course, it always makes me think of _The Scarlet Pimpernel_ (1934)

“_My dear Chauvelin, there is nothing which is so bad, as that which is ‘not so bad’_”

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**Author:** ![rhubarbarin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb9ed0/32.png) [@rhubarbarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhubarbarin)\
**Post date:** [August 15, 2013, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shopping-rant/666173/69 "2013-08-15T17:53:59Z")

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> [@Inner\_Stickler](#):
>
> I remain amazed at the number of people who cannot shop without becoming entangled in these morasses of human contact.

Yes, I prefer to socialize as little as possible in public but I’ve found that with minimal eye contact, and refusal to engage in conversation beyond a polite ‘hello’ , ‘no thank you’ and ‘have a nice day’, even the most bubbly salespeople get the hint.

I’ve worked my entire adult life in customer service, FWIW. I neither like or dislike people, I’m naturally asocial but am able to ‘turn on’ at work. Outside of work I do not want to talk to anyone.

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**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\
**Post date:** [August 15, 2013, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shopping-rant/666173/70 "2013-08-15T18:13:39Z")

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> [@Inner\_Stickler](#):
>
> You don’t understand! The bored teenager at the till is really an orwellian moneysucking droid designed by psychological masterminds to drain your wallet dry of every penny while you stand helplessly by, mesmerized by the pretty colors of the potato chip bags.

I love it - truly - when someone attempts to be eye-rollingly funny and merely demonstrates world-class cluelessness.

Because all pointless attempts at sarcasm aside, you are absolutely, 100% correct. Other than, perhaps, assuming that the bored teen is some kind of willing participant instead of… just a droid doing what they’re told. S/he isn’t. But you are.

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**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\
**Post date:** [August 15, 2013, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shopping-rant/666173/71 "2013-08-15T18:17:14Z")

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> [@saje](#):
>
> Right now? It’s been that way for a long long time…

I meant “right now as I sit here”. And I do think it’s different than it was a few generations ago. It’s more effective. We’ve learned a lot about psychology. I don’t like it, and I try to protect my kid from it. But it’s not and shouldn’t be illegal.

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**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\
**Post date:** [August 15, 2013, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shopping-rant/666173/72 "2013-08-15T18:19:11Z")

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> [@Fenris](#):
>
> Perhaps Amateur Barbarian with his greater knowledge of greeting-assault could help us here.

You can’t free slaves. They can only free themselves.

Again, much of the above stupidity deals with the kind of customer service that _requires_ significant interaction. My comments and objections, and those of us here who aren’t posting juvenile yuks, are when essentially passive storebots like checkers insist on “engaging” customers with directed and programmed chit-chat, or when floorwalkers interrupt your shopping to try and upsell you something else.

But by all means, carry on with the stupidity. It’s entertaining as hell. And you have no idea how… _useful_ it is.

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**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\
**Post date:** [August 15, 2013, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shopping-rant/666173/73 "2013-08-15T18:21:34Z")

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Still waiting on that advertising opus, by the way.

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**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\
**Post date:** [August 15, 2013, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shopping-rant/666173/74 "2013-08-15T18:23:46Z")

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> [@Inner\_Stickler](#):
>
> Still waiting on that advertising opus, by the way.

I just bet you are. Except it’s not about advertising.

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**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\
**Post date:** [August 15, 2013, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shopping-rant/666173/75 "2013-08-15T18:33:34Z")

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It was a discussion on advertising where you brought it up.

Anyway, this is just yet another thread among many where you insist often and with great vehemence that something is wrong but refuse to give any sort of specifics. And when you do give specifics, it’s things like being assaulted by a greeter in a grocery store which is hardly 1984.

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**Author:** ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)\
**Post date:** [August 15, 2013, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shopping-rant/666173/76 "2013-08-15T18:47:49Z")

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I hate when the clerk at the Family Video has to comment on what I’ve chosen to rent. Even though he’s always saying I made a good choice or whatever, I don’t want to hear it. I worry that one day I’ll make my first bad choice and have to hear him tell me about that.

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**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\
**Post date:** [August 15, 2013, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shopping-rant/666173/77 "2013-08-15T19:00:12Z")

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> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#):
>
> You can’t free slaves. They can only free themselves.

Attribute your quotations. That was Robert Heinlein, _Time Enough For Love_. (Lazarus to Ira, IIRC)

And as long as we’re quoting the master,

“For me, politeness is a sine qua non of civilization.”, Robert Heinlein (damn if I can remember where he said it though although about a billion sites attribute it to him, but don’t list the source. 😉 )\*  
\*Also there’s another one I recall about how words like “please” and “thank you” are the lubricant of society and when those words fall out of favor, watch out.  
…although my recollection may be wrong as I can’t find anything citing it. It’s got a _Notebooks of Lazarus Long_ feel, but it’s not that. Maybe it’s a Gerrold or Robinson riff on Heinlein?

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**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\
**Post date:** [August 15, 2013, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shopping-rant/666173/78 "2013-08-15T19:31:53Z")

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> [@Inner\_Stickler](#):
>
> It was a discussion on advertising where you brought it up.
> 
> Anyway, this is just yet another thread among many where you insist often and with great vehemence that something is wrong but refuse to give any sort of specifics. And when you do give specifics, it’s things like being assaulted by a greeter in a grocery store which is hardly 1984.

ISzy, I really can’t help it if you can’t read and understand fairly plain English. But you’ve decided to follow me around to different threads and make utterly oblique snarks at my posts, so I do hope you’re having fun with it.

I assure you I am speaking in a completely coherent manner about a completely defined viewpoint that will become public in the very near future. (Is it behind schedule by my original plans? Yes. Sorry. These things happen.) So if you want to end up on the Complete Ass Wall of Fame by continuing this behavior, I’ll be happy to prepare your plaque. You might google around to see if the story of Joel Rosenberg and the hotel clerk is on the net somewhere.

Or you could assume I might know what I’m talking about, have the authority to talk it, and have some very good reasons why I can’t discuss a work in progress; you might try asking some sensible questions I could answer instead of defending the horseshit Big Retail has bitch-slapped you into accepting as reasonable.

Or you can just go watch more TV or something. I really don’t much care.

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**Author:** ![Tequila\_Party](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a6a055/32.png) [@Tequila\_Party](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tequila_Party)\
**Post date:** [August 15, 2013, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shopping-rant/666173/79 "2013-08-15T19:41:35Z")

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> [@Ferret\_Herder](#):
>
> Yup. Because for every whiny bitch that thinks that being asked if they’re OK is equivalent to sexual assault, there are a few self-important twats who are incensed if store employees don’t get down on bended knee to kiss ass enthusiastically, and those are going to be the people who send offended e-mails to corporate about how this peon (name spotted off name tag and forwarded along) didn’t use fucking mind-reading to make his/her day all super-awesome and didn’t go that extra mile to provide the best service ever in the history of humanity.

I love you. Wanna make babies?

> [@CanvasShoes](#):
>
> And what if I’m not “reasonably well”? I’m not going to lie just to fulfill some grocery store script. And I’m not going to bore them with why I’m not “fine” that’s MY business.
> 
> I get that their “how are you” is part of their (probably required) customer service jargon. My problem isn’t so much with the script but with the insistence, after I’ve side-stepped the question, of additional “how are yous”. It’s pretty obvious after their third attempt that they are trying to force you to conform to their idea of what the customer/clerk relationship dialogue should be.
> 
> Again this isn’t an every day occurrence, it’s that 1 out of a 100 clerks on occasion, (happens maybe once a month?) and I don’t get raging mad at it, I’m just curious as to why they’re so insistent.
> 
> I mean, …Why? Are they getting a quota for each “fine” answer they get? LET IT BE. 😃

Where on earth do you shop that a cashier has the time to ask you in _three_ separate questions how you are? Because I’m no spring chicken, but no one has ever done that to me, nor have I ever heard it done to anyone else. Those must be some _really_ OCD clerks.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\
**Post date:** [August 15, 2013, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shopping-rant/666173/80 "2013-08-15T19:41:44Z")

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Credibility is earned, not given and I posted first so you’re the stalker.

Are we done being pissy?

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