# Short shorts for men **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 23, 2023, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/short-shorts-for-men/983074 "2023-04-23T14:42:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2023, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/short-shorts-for-men/983074/41 "2023-04-26T21:46:32Z")
Avian Communications Delivery Agent. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2023, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/short-shorts-for-men/983074/42 "2023-04-26T21:51:18Z")
Oh no, nothing so mundane. I totally meant delivering fresh avian feces onto appropriate targets on demand. Were I a bird, I’d totally be a dive bomber of fortune, selling my services to the highest bidder whose politics I could stand. I’d be accurate too. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2023, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/short-shorts-for-men/983074/43 "2023-04-26T22:10:29Z")
‘Well, it were me first day with the hook…’ ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2023, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/short-shorts-for-men/983074/44 "2023-04-26T22:11:05Z")
Aye! Or is that Arrrrgghhh! 😁 ---
**Author:** ![gkster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gkster/32/14107_2.png) [@gkster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gkster)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2023, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/short-shorts-for-men/983074/45 "2023-04-26T22:35:02Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > I suppose there’s “shorter shorts” and then there’s Richard Simmons prancing gay guy shorts. Or Lt. Dangle shorts. Which, in some more homophobic countries or regions, might produce some unpleasant pushback. > > For those who’ve never met Lt. Dangle of the fictional Reno Sheriff’s department: > [Reno 911! to make a comeback on new streaming service Quibi in 2020](https://www.rgj.com/story/news/2019/12/06/reno-911-make-comeback-new-streaming-service-quibi/4356231002/) > To be clear, I’d love for 2" inseams to become acceptable mainstream cishet male attire as they were when I was a teen. But they’re not … yet. I was on a crowded street in midtown Manhattan last weekend and 2 men, probably in their 20s or early 30s, came out of a bar holding hands. They walked right in front of me for a block, long enough for me to note that they were wearing shorter shorts, one of them a 5" or 7" inseam and the other a 2" or 3" inseam. And my son and his friend group of cishet guys, in their early 20s, seem to be moving away from the knee-length shorts they wore as kids and teens. I’ve seen them in what look like 7" inseams. ---
**Author:** ![BleizDu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9dc877/32.png) [@BleizDu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BleizDu)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2023, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/short-shorts-for-men/983074/46 "2023-04-27T06:41:03Z")
This has been the lenght of all my shorts for a few years. I’ve gotten some looks, but no comments so far. It does make me look gay, which I am, so it’s nice! ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2023, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/short-shorts-for-men/983074/47 "2023-04-27T14:05:19Z")
It makes me look femme. Or like I’m a male person with cute legs. ---
**Author:** ![Mijin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mijin/32/9369_2.png) [@Mijin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mijin)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2023, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/short-shorts-for-men/983074/48 "2023-04-27T16:13:53Z")
Here in the UK there is a mixture of short lengths; certainly a lot are almost knee-length and that tends to be all you see until warm weather. But in summer proper, a lot of men go for short shorts. I own a couple of short shorts, but they are for a specific purpose; I wear them on top of running trousers where they just function to hide my junk without interfering with my free leg movement (see below) I don’t think I could get away with short shorts and bare legs. [https://images.app.goo.gl/T5fRjiRK14ugYZEA6](https://images.app.goo.gl/T5fRjiRK14ugYZEA6) ---
**Author:** ![epbrown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e47774/32.png) [@epbrown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/epbrown)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2023, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/short-shorts-for-men/983074/49 "2023-04-27T17:56:16Z")
I worked in an office, so my coworkers only ever saw me in dress pants. I ran into someone from work while wearing my usual just-above-the-knee length shorts, and the young man (wearing calf-length “shorts”) announced that in his neighborhood I’d get beat up for looking gay in shorts that show some knee. I replied “Dude, you’re basically wearing _capri pants_ - how is **that** okay?” I laugh about his expression to this day. ---
**Author:** ![DSeid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dseid/32/20194_2.png) [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2023, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/short-shorts-for-men/983074/50 "2023-04-27T20:10:00Z")
Not a shorts comment, but I wonder which of us has a harder time with pants. I’m a 30 inch waist and ideally 29 inch inseam. Pants cut for kids still growing come up to my belly button and are tight on the thighs. But long enough for you has to a challenge also! ---
**Author:** ![KMS94](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ad7895/32.png) [@KMS94](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KMS94)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2023, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/short-shorts-for-men/983074/51 "2023-04-27T20:14:55Z")
Opened this thread wondering how far down I’d have to scroll before I saw Thomas Magnum… 😄 ---
**Author:** ![ISiddiqui](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/97f17d/32.png) [@ISiddiqui](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ISiddiqui)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2023, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/short-shorts-for-men/983074/52 "2023-04-27T20:30:13Z")
> [@Chingon](#): > > are all pretty out of touch. Shorts well above the knee have been the style for several years now. Just look at a moder Indeed. The longer baggier shorts hasn’t been “in” for a bit now. Just go to J Crew’s website (which is not some trailblazer), their best selling shorts are 5’’ or 7’’ and their longest (which you have to scroll a bit for is 10.5’'. ---
**Author:** ![wguy123](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wguy123/32/3161_2.png) [@wguy123](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wguy123)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2023, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/short-shorts-for-men/983074/53 "2023-04-28T00:43:08Z")
> [@DSeid](#): > > Not a shorts comment, but I wonder which of us has a harder time with pants. I’m a 30 inch waist and ideally 29 inch inseam. Pants cut for kids still growing come up to my belly button and are tight on the thighs. But long enough for you has to a challenge also! When I first got to 6’3", I was 135 lbs with 29" waist. Try to find 29x36" pants. It is still harder to find pants long enough, but a bit easier now that I have a 33" waist. I still have a lot of “high water” pants, but they match my overall dork appearance. _insert Pee Wee Herman or Urkel GIF here_ ---
**Author:** ![DSeid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dseid/32/20194_2.png) [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2023, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/short-shorts-for-men/983074/54 "2023-04-28T00:51:27Z")
Depending on the brand 30” is sometimes too big. 29” ANY length are hard to find. That length? Did you end up doing special orders, custom, or just live with ankles showing? ---
**Author:** ![wguy123](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wguy123/32/3161_2.png) [@wguy123](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wguy123)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2023, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/short-shorts-for-men/983074/55 "2023-04-28T13:40:45Z")
A lot of ankles showing, but we found that Sears could special order Levis 501s in 29x36 so that was pretty much my only pants for a long time. ---
**Author:** ![DSeid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dseid/32/20194_2.png) [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2023, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/short-shorts-for-men/983074/56 "2023-04-28T14:15:30Z")
I’m just going to put this small rant here rather than open an MPSIMS thread: just went clothes shopping and while I get that women’s sizing is insane, men’s are weird too. Shirts. Classic, modern (that one was new to me), slim, extra slim … no more athletic. Not just my childhood understanding what they were saying when they pushed us to the husky department! Pants. One brand 30” is fine but only if I don’t put any weight back on. Another 29” has room to spare. To bring this back to this thread subject - how reliable are those 5, 7, 9 inch inseam numbers? ---
**Author:** ![fedman1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e495f1/32.png) [@fedman1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fedman1)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2023, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/short-shorts-for-men/983074/57 "2023-04-29T12:28:24Z")
do you remember men’s 'hot pants" in late 70’s? ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2023, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/short-shorts-for-men/983074/58 "2023-04-29T16:38:47Z")
> [@DSeid](#): > > how reliable are those 5, 7, 9 inch inseam numbers? I dunno, but I came across a good, albeit arbitrary, metric. > [@](#): > > **1.** Start with your height, in inches. > > **2.** Close your eyes. Wade into the swamp of your own body hangups and come back out having honestly considered how much you like your legs. Assign that love a number from 1 to 7, where 1 equals “my legs are too beautiful for pants,” and 7 equals “I’ve had at least one calf-implant consultation.” This is your **Leg Love Quotient**. (Yes, I know, it’s counterintuitive that a _higher_ number corresponds to the _lesser_ amount of leg affinity. Bear with me. This will—probably—be worth it.) > > **3.** Take your **Leg Love Quotient** and add to it your height in inches. Now you’ve got your **LLAH** , or _ **Leg-Love-Adjusted Height** _. Trust me on this—it’s been vetted by my sabermetrician brother-in-law. > > **4.** Assessing your **LLAH** , you’ll find your ideal shorts inseam. Here’s how it breaks down: > > - 72 or less = 5" inseam > - 72-76 = 7" inseam > - 77 or more = 9" inseam > **[The Formula for the Perfect Length Shorts](https://www.gq.com/story/the-formula-for-the-perfect-length-shorts)** > > It's like sabermetrics, but for your legs. In practical terms, I’m 6’ and my 7” inseam comes to my mid-thigh. 9” would be just above my knee, and 5” gives me 1980’s Tom Selleck vibes. ---
**Author:** ![Die\_Capacitrix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/die_capacitrix/32/9_2.png) [@Die\_Capacitrix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Die_Capacitrix)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2023, 8:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/short-shorts-for-men/983074/59 "2023-04-30T08:08:29Z")
> [@Galactus](#): > > You gotta have the thighs for short shorts. One of my coworkers wear cutoff jeans shorts which are about that length. Maybe a bit shorter, as the ends of the pockets are longer than the shorts. He’s also in his 50s and is rather active. He only wears them on the way to work, during lunch and after work, as he has other clothing for working. For the office workers, shorts generally cover the knee (¾ length), such as these: > **[46 NORD Herren 3/4 Wanderhose in anthrazit kaufen | ochsnersport.ch](https://www.ochsnersport.ch/de/shop/46-nord-herren-34-wanderhose-anthrazit-00002001794142-p.html)** > > 46 NORD Herren 3/4 Wanderhose in anthrazit online kaufen im Ochsner Sport Onlineshop! ✓Kostenloser Versand ✓30-Tage-Rückgaberecht Most pools here have rules against the baggy swimshorts often seen in the U.S. Only short shorts, or even speedos, are allowed. ---
**Author:** ![doreen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/858c86/32.png) [@doreen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doreen)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2023, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/short-shorts-for-men/983074/60 "2023-04-30T13:53:03Z")
> [@Die\_Capacitrix](#): > > Most pools here have rules against the baggy swimshorts often seen in the U.S. Only short shorts, or even speedos, are allowed. I just have to ask why they have such rules. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/short-shorts-for-men/983074.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/short-shorts-for-men/983074.md?page=4)