Avian Communications Delivery Agent.
Oh no, nothing so mundane. I totally meant delivering fresh avian feces onto appropriate targets on demand. Were I a bird, I’d totally be a dive bomber of fortune, selling my services to the highest bidder whose politics I could stand. I’d be accurate too.
‘Well, it were me first day with the hook…’
Aye! Or is that Arrrrgghhh! 
I was on a crowded street in midtown Manhattan last weekend and 2 men, probably in their 20s or early 30s, came out of a bar holding hands. They walked right in front of me for a block, long enough for me to note that they were wearing shorter shorts, one of them a 5" or 7" inseam and the other a 2" or 3" inseam.
And my son and his friend group of cishet guys, in their early 20s, seem to be moving away from the knee-length shorts they wore as kids and teens. I’ve seen them in what look like 7" inseams.
This has been the lenght of all my shorts for a few years. I’ve gotten some looks, but no comments so far.
It does make me look gay, which I am, so it’s nice!
It makes me look femme. Or like I’m a male person with cute legs.
Here in the UK there is a mixture of short lengths; certainly a lot are almost knee-length and that tends to be all you see until warm weather. But in summer proper, a lot of men go for short shorts.
I own a couple of short shorts, but they are for a specific purpose; I wear them on top of running trousers where they just function to hide my junk without interfering with my free leg movement (see below)
I don’t think I could get away with short shorts and bare legs. https://images.app.goo.gl/T5fRjiRK14ugYZEA6
I worked in an office, so my coworkers only ever saw me in dress pants. I ran into someone from work while wearing my usual just-above-the-knee length shorts, and the young man (wearing calf-length “shorts”) announced that in his neighborhood I’d get beat up for looking gay in shorts that show some knee. I replied “Dude, you’re basically wearing capri pants - how is that okay?”
I laugh about his expression to this day.
Not a shorts comment, but I wonder which of us has a harder time with pants. I’m a 30 inch waist and ideally 29 inch inseam. Pants cut for kids still growing come up to my belly button and are tight on the thighs. But long enough for you has to a challenge also!
Opened this thread wondering how far down I’d have to scroll before I saw Thomas Magnum… 
Indeed. The longer baggier shorts hasn’t been “in” for a bit now. Just go to J Crew’s website (which is not some trailblazer), their best selling shorts are 5’’ or 7’’ and their longest (which you have to scroll a bit for is 10.5’'.
When I first got to 6’3", I was 135 lbs with 29" waist. Try to find 29x36" pants. It is still harder to find pants long enough, but a bit easier now that I have a 33" waist. I still have a lot of “high water” pants, but they match my overall dork appearance.
insert Pee Wee Herman or Urkel GIF here
Depending on the brand 30” is sometimes too big. 29” ANY length are hard to find. That length? Did you end up doing special orders, custom, or just live with ankles showing?
A lot of ankles showing, but we found that Sears could special order Levis 501s in 29x36 so that was pretty much my only pants for a long time.
I’m just going to put this small rant here rather than open an MPSIMS thread: just went clothes shopping and while I get that women’s sizing is insane, men’s are weird too.
Shirts. Classic, modern (that one was new to me), slim, extra slim … no more athletic. Not just my childhood understanding what they were saying when they pushed us to the husky department!
Pants. One brand 30” is fine but only if I don’t put any weight back on. Another 29” has room to spare.
To bring this back to this thread subject - how reliable are those 5, 7, 9 inch inseam numbers?
do you remember men’s 'hot pants" in late 70’s?
I dunno, but I came across a good, albeit arbitrary, metric.
In practical terms, I’m 6’ and my 7” inseam comes to my mid-thigh. 9” would be just above my knee, and 5” gives me 1980’s Tom Selleck vibes.
One of my coworkers wear cutoff jeans shorts which are about that length. Maybe a bit shorter, as the ends of the pockets are longer than the shorts. He’s also in his 50s and is rather active. He only wears them on the way to work, during lunch and after work, as he has other clothing for working.
For the office workers, shorts generally cover the knee (¾ length), such as these:
Most pools here have rules against the baggy swimshorts often seen in the U.S. Only short shorts, or even speedos, are allowed.
I just have to ask why they have such rules.