# Should a 27 year old virgin lose his virginity to an escort? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 15, 2014, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-a-27-year-old-virgin-lose-his-virginity-to-an-escort/707270 "2014-12-15T07:09:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2014, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-a-27-year-old-virgin-lose-his-virginity-to-an-escort/707270/41 "2014-12-15T16:00:33Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > Having said that it was not clear to me from the OP that he had a girlfriend. If he does, which I now think is the case, dude, just kiss her and have sex with her. It really is not that difficult to get the hang of. This. Because you know what’s difficult to get a hang of? Flying a plane. You probably shouldn’t lie about having a pilot’s license if you’ve never had a single lesson. But kissing/sex?.. yeah, you lie about having done that until you’ve done it and got your fucking licensed. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2014, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-a-27-year-old-virgin-lose-his-virginity-to-an-escort/707270/42 "2014-12-15T16:06:37Z")
> [@Martian Bigfoot](#): > > Depends on where you are, I think. If you book a trip to Thailand, it’s apparently possible to get a “full girlfriend experience”. > > Of course, there may be downsides as well as upsides to that… 😉 > > Paging **Siam Sam** or other locals for possible details. You called it right. In fact, walk into a bar in a red-light district, and it’s not unusual to see several of the girls and the customers sucking each other’s face off. It’s a rare prostitute in Thailand who does not kiss. And speaking of sucking and prostitutes, a lot of guys will like to kiss even in the BJ bars. That seems a little squicky, but whatever floats your boat. ---
**Author:** ![Hector\_St\_Clare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5ac83/32.png) [@Hector\_St\_Clare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hector_St_Clare)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2014, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-a-27-year-old-virgin-lose-his-virginity-to-an-escort/707270/43 "2014-12-15T16:08:45Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > You called it right. In fact, walk into a bar in a red-light district, and it’s not unusual to see several of the girls and the customers sucking each other’s face off. It’s a rare prostitute in Thailand who does not kiss. > > And speaking of sucking and prostitutes, a lot of guys will like to kiss even in the BJ bars. That seems a little squicky, but whatever floats your boat. There’s also sugar babys and the like, who aren’t prostitutes but will have relationships with guys they might not otherwise, in exchange for financial support. They definitely kiss (speaking not from experience, but I have a good friend who’s one). ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2014, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-a-27-year-old-virgin-lose-his-virginity-to-an-escort/707270/44 "2014-12-15T16:09:47Z")
The only reason I can think of why the concept of “virginity” or “being a virgin” has any use in this day and age is that it might be useful to know, for logistics’ sake, if the female has an intact hymen if intercourse is going to occur. You’re male, so that’s not an issue. If I had the power, I’d declare the word “virgin” to be off-limits. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2014, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-a-27-year-old-virgin-lose-his-virginity-to-an-escort/707270/45 "2014-12-15T16:18:44Z")
> [@Hector\_St\_Clare](#): > > There’s also sugar babys and the like, who aren’t prostitutes but will have relationships with guys they might not otherwise, in exchange for financial support. They definitely kiss (speaking not from experience, but I have a good friend who’s one). Indeed. This whole “prostitutes never kiss” thing must be something American. Except I lost _my_ virginity at age 17 to an old Hispanic hooker in West Texas who bore a striking resemblance to Claude Akins, and she sure kissed. ---
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2014, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-a-27-year-old-virgin-lose-his-virginity-to-an-escort/707270/46 "2014-12-15T16:46:33Z")
> [@Hector\_St\_Clare](#): > > There’s also sugar babys and the like, who aren’t prostitutes but will have relationships with guys they might not otherwise, in exchange for financial support. They definitely kiss (speaking not from experience, but I have a good friend who’s one). Let me guess, was it your friend who insisted that this mode of having sex for money isn’t prostitution? ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2014, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-a-27-year-old-virgin-lose-his-virginity-to-an-escort/707270/47 "2014-12-15T16:59:22Z")
> [@Peremensoe](#): > > Let me guess, was it your friend who insisted that this mode of having sex for money isn’t prostitution? I know what he means. They’re more like mistresses or what’s called here “minor wives,” often set up in apartments or houses of their own. Although illegal for about 100 years now, minor wives are still an institution. My father-in-law had one and had several children by her. Seems to happen a lot with department-store sales ladies. Bangkok has some very lovely ones, and they often get snatched up. ---
**Author:** ![Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/848f3c/32.png) [@Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuzzy_Dunlop)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2014, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-a-27-year-old-virgin-lose-his-virginity-to-an-escort/707270/48 "2014-12-15T17:06:26Z")
> [@TheBuilding](#): > > What age exactly is inexperience likely to cause universal derision or suspicion? For a man at least. From my experience by the time you’re a senior in high school virginity is non-existent. And for those of you who are wondering I don’t have a girlfriend. **The part about how I’m afraid she might find out I’m inexperienced was hypothetical**. Your first girlfriend is going to find out you’re inexperienced. It’s unavoidable. The difference one whore would make is merely avoiding the technical designation of virgin. If you have sex with 1 whore 1 time, it’s not going to make you a competent kisser or lover. You’re going to be awkward and insecure no matter what. So the way I see it your choices are 1) be honest, in which case any decent woman will expect you to improve by leaps and bounds as you gain your sea legs, or 2) leave her with the impression that this is something you’ve been doing for a dozen years and you’re still as awkward as a teenager. Honesty seems better to me. ---
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2014, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-a-27-year-old-virgin-lose-his-virginity-to-an-escort/707270/49 "2014-12-15T17:22:43Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > I know what he means. They’re more like mistresses or what’s called here “minor wives,” often set up in apartments or houses of their own. Although illegal for about 100 years now, minor wives are still an institution. My father-in-law had one and had several children by her. > > Seems to happen a lot with department-store sales ladies. Bangkok has some very lovely ones, and they often get snatched up. In the United States, [sugarbabyism](http://m.theatlantic.com/education/archive/2014/09/how-sugar-daddies-are-financing-college-education/379533/) is not about any kind of long-term relationship. Sugarbabies are not “minor wives,” they’re middle-class whores. Both sides of the transaction may like to pretend differently, but let her refuse sex a time or two when he wants it and see what happens. ---
**Author:** ![Idilia\_Dubb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c2a13f/32.png) [@Idilia\_Dubb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idilia_Dubb)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2014, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-a-27-year-old-virgin-lose-his-virginity-to-an-escort/707270/50 "2014-12-15T17:26:55Z")
There are sex surrogates who specialize in helping nervous virgins. Here’s an article from Psych Today that’s worth a read: [Sexual Surrogates Help Many Who Suffer Alone | Psychology Today](http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/talking-about-trauma/201305/sexual-surrogates-help-many-who-suffer-alone) And here’s one from the Daily Mail: ['We're not prostitutes': The sex surrogates helping real life 40-year-old virgins overcome crippling inexperience with one-on-one coaching | Daily Mail Online](http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2223134/Were-prostitutes-The-sex-surrogates-helping-real-life-40-year-old-virgins-overcome-crippling-inexperience-one-coaching.html) Once you get over the hump (sorry) you may find it was no big deal, especially if your partner is adept and understanding. Many surrogates work with licensed therapists. I wanted to hire a surrogate for a virginal friend of mine as his 50th birthday present. He confided that he was unhappy with his inexperience. I made inquiries and got names of surrogates from a shrink I know. To my regret, my friend, who originally agreed with the idea, chickened out. He’d put this step off for too long until finally, for him, the habit of sexual inaction was insurmountable. He’s going to die a virgin. OP, I hope you’ll be be more proactive than my friend. If you don’t go for it soon, you may leave it too late. I remember the first time I rappelled off a steep height as part of my military training. I’d known for some time that this exercise was looming and, frankly, I worked myself up into a nervous state about it. Everybody else in my unit had done it and I couldn’t postpone it forever. When the day came, I took a deep breath, put on my harness, and put my trust in my trainer. You know what? When it was over I exhaled, thanked my instructor and said to myself, “That wasn’t so bad. Why did I panic? In fact it was fun.” And afterwards, it was nice basking in the fellowship of my peers. First time sex is kinda like that. So find a good instructor, put on a harness, er, condom, and take the plunge. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2014, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-a-27-year-old-virgin-lose-his-virginity-to-an-escort/707270/51 "2014-12-15T17:29:53Z")
> [@Peremensoe](#): > > In the United States, [sugarbabyism](http://m.theatlantic.com/education/archive/2014/09/how-sugar-daddies-are-financing-college-education/379533/) is not about any kind of long-term relationship. Sugarbabies are not “minor wives,” they’re middle-class whores. Both sides of the transaction may like to pretend differently, but let her refuse sex a time or two when he wants it and see what happens. I’m going to go out on a limb here and predict you’re one of the “No” votes above. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Hector\_St\_Clare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5ac83/32.png) [@Hector\_St\_Clare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hector_St_Clare)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2014, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-a-27-year-old-virgin-lose-his-virginity-to-an-escort/707270/52 "2014-12-15T17:30:07Z")
> [@Peremensoe](#): > > In the United States, [sugarbabyism](http://m.theatlantic.com/education/archive/2014/09/how-sugar-daddies-are-financing-college-education/379533/) is not about any kind of long-term relationship. Sugarbabies are not “minor wives,” they’re middle-class whores. Both sides of the transaction may like to pretend differently, but let her refuse sex a time or two when he wants it and see what happens. My friend refuses sex all the time, and from the little I know reading about the sugar baby culture that’s not uncommon. Interestingly enough, she doesn’t think prostitution should be legal. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2014, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-a-27-year-old-virgin-lose-his-virginity-to-an-escort/707270/53 "2014-12-15T17:31:22Z")
If you rent a woman, remember, turn her upside down and verify she’s not really a he. ---
**Author:** ![polar\_bear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ec9cab/32.png) [@polar\_bear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/polar_bear)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2014, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-a-27-year-old-virgin-lose-his-virginity-to-an-escort/707270/54 "2014-12-15T17:39:24Z")
As always in these threads, I shake my head at the things some people seem to think they know. Kissing and French kissing is a very common thing in this business; just this last weekend I was with seven girls that kissed without reservation. This doesn’t mean it is common everywhere, but if look for this kind of “girlfriend experience” (which isn’t a term I’d use if all it takes is a bit of kissing) you should be able to find it pretty easily. Whether you do it or not is something you’ll have to decide for yourself (and I can imagine legality playing a role in this regard). If you do decide to go for it, I’d be surprised if your first time would be particularly great (unless you’re lucky). Be prepared to try a few times. I will say that for me, seeing prostitutes has had quite a positive effect. I’m more at ease around women, less impressed with beauty and a lot more comfortable in flirty situations. Probably a bit better in bed too;). Most of all, I’m far less hung up on a “lack of sex” and a “lack of love life”. For now I’m a happy single guy and I can’t remember ever being this much at ease with my station in life. Note that a side effect is that I have little interest in spending energy on the “dating scene”. No interest at all. I won’t argue with anyone that thinks that is a bit of a downside to the whole thing, but it is what it is. ---
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2014, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-a-27-year-old-virgin-lose-his-virginity-to-an-escort/707270/55 "2014-12-15T17:43:47Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > I’m going to go out on a limb here and predict you’re one of the “No” votes above. 😉 I didn’t vote. But, indeed, I doubt any kind of prostitute experience is going to help the OP. ETA: Note the last paragraph of **polar bear**. Banging a whore may make you _feel_ more at ease, but it’s not likely to make you actually better at relating to women and securing real relationships. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2014, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-a-27-year-old-virgin-lose-his-virginity-to-an-escort/707270/56 "2014-12-15T17:44:07Z")
Add me to the heap of people who doesn’t think being a virgin at 27 is all that worrisome. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2014, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-a-27-year-old-virgin-lose-his-virginity-to-an-escort/707270/57 "2014-12-15T17:51:58Z")
> [@polar\_bear](#): > > As always in these threads, I shake my head at the things some people seem to think they know. > > Kissing and French kissing is a very common thing in this business; just this last weekend I was with seven girls that kissed without reservation. This doesn’t mean it is common everywhere, but if look for this kind of “girlfriend experience” (which isn’t a term I’d use if all it takes is a bit of kissing) you should be able to find it pretty easily. > > Whether you do it or not is something you’ll have to decide for yourself (and I can imagine legality playing a role in this regard). If you do decide to go for it, I’d be surprised if your first time would be particularly great (unless you’re lucky). Be prepared to try a few times. I will say that for me, seeing prostitutes has had quite a positive effect. I’m more at ease around women, less impressed with beauty and a lot more comfortable in flirty situations. Probably a bit better in bed too;). Most of all, I’m far less hung up on a “lack of sex” and a “lack of love life”. For now I’m a happy single guy and I can’t remember ever being this much at ease with my station in life. > > Note that a side effect is that I have little interest in spending energy on the “dating scene”. No interest at all. I won’t argue with anyone that thinks that is a bit of a downside to the whole thing, but it is what it is. Besides being a criminal act that is, right? You know kissing can spread some pretty terrible diseases? How do you take precautions when you kiss? If you are really this uninformed, I suggest you have a heart to heart with a medical professional who can explain the risks you face with respect to this behavior. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2014, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-a-27-year-old-virgin-lose-his-virginity-to-an-escort/707270/58 "2014-12-15T18:04:07Z")
> [@Peremensoe](#): > > In the United States, [sugarbabyism](http://m.theatlantic.com/education/archive/2014/09/how-sugar-daddies-are-financing-college-education/379533/) is not about any kind of long-term relationship. Sugarbabies are not “minor wives,” they’re middle-class whores. Both sides of the transaction may like to pretend differently, but let her refuse sex a time or two when he wants it and see what happens. I think it’s not legally prostitution since there is no requirement the woman have sex on any particular schedule, and he is expected to pay her anyway. But yeah, the “relationship” isn’t going to last if she doesn’t go through with it, and I don’t see a lot of moral distinction. That’s expensive, and sort of a long-term proposition, though. Doesn’t sound like what the OP was looking for. ---
**Author:** ![Learjeff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/94ad74/32.png) [@Learjeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Learjeff)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2014, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-a-27-year-old-virgin-lose-his-virginity-to-an-escort/707270/59 "2014-12-15T18:13:06Z")
> [@Hector\_St\_Clare](#): > > By escort, do you mean prostitute? According to an escort I knew (not professionally), a prostitute charges per service, an escort charges for time regardless of what happens (but with possible surcharges for certain things). Also according to her, they’re both “pros” and “whores”. And legally, they’re both “prostitution”. To the OP, it’s too personal a question for anyone else to answer. I wouldn’t condemn anyone for doing it. But first, ask yourself an important question. What do you want the answer to be, when a very special someone asks you to tell about your first time? ---
**Author:** ![polar\_bear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ec9cab/32.png) [@polar\_bear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/polar_bear)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2014, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-a-27-year-old-virgin-lose-his-virginity-to-an-escort/707270/60 "2014-12-15T18:16:47Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > Besides being a criminal act that is, right? > > You know kissing can spread some pretty terrible diseases? > > How do you take precautions when you kiss? > > If you are really this uninformed, I suggest you have a heart to heart with a medical professional who can explain the risks you face with respect to this behavior. It’s not a criminal act where I am from. Of course it depends on what you mean with “terrible”, but no, kissing is not considered to be an act that is a risk for STDs. According to the medical professionals at the sexual health clinics here (that actually deal a great deal with prostitutes and their customers). As for precautions, I take a fisherman’s friend. I’ve had numerous conversations (IRL and online) with professionals in this field and am quite informed. Thanks. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-a-27-year-old-virgin-lose-his-virginity-to-an-escort/707270.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-a-27-year-old-virgin-lose-his-virginity-to-an-escort/707270.md?page=4)