# Should a pregnant woman be given a seat on a crowded train? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 9, 2006, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-a-pregnant-woman-be-given-a-seat-on-a-crowded-train/367936 "2006-08-09T00:18:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2006, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-a-pregnant-woman-be-given-a-seat-on-a-crowded-train/367936/21 "2006-08-09T03:34:20Z")
Or how about when you offer your seat to someone, and as you rise someone else slides into it? This has happened to me a few times. Of course, standing next to the sitting culprit, such times as these are when one is in public and has no gas whatsoever. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2006, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-a-pregnant-woman-be-given-a-seat-on-a-crowded-train/367936/22 "2006-08-09T04:53:40Z")
I was raised in the 50’s/60’s and was a Boy Scout. It is ingrained. I have to offer my seat to any lady. Kind of a Pavlovian thing. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2006, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-a-pregnant-woman-be-given-a-seat-on-a-crowded-train/367936/23 "2006-08-09T05:10:32Z")
[QUOTE=Sampiro] I apologize if this is chauvinistic, but I seethe with irritation whenever I’m in a major city on their transit system and healthy young or middle-aged men sit while ladies (of any age or physical condition) stand. Not only would my father’s dead corpse reanimate, tunnel its way from rural Alabama into the subterranean train tracks of D.C. or Atlanta or wherever and kick the ass I sat upon while ladies stood, but I would lose respect if it didn’t. For a pregnant woman not to be given a seat damned near makes me embarassed to be male. [/QUOTE] That’s not chauvinistic, that’s a sign you were raised properly. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2006, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-a-pregnant-woman-be-given-a-seat-on-a-crowded-train/367936/24 "2006-08-09T05:11:38Z")
[QUOTE=jaderabbit] Should a pregnant woman be given a seat on a crowded train? …snip… So, I’m wondering–should I ask? … [/QUOTE] Men of all ages and healthy woman should definitely give you a seat. I think it is ashame that you would have to ask. If no one offers, you should ask, I would hate to think the person would say no. [QUOTE=Sampiro] I apologize if this is chauvinistic, but I seethe with irritation whenever I’m in a major city on their transit system and healthy young or middle-aged men sit while ladies (of any age or physical condition) stand. … [/QUOTE] I understand where you are coming from but I think you are being out of sync with the times and that you are being chauvinistic or at least old fashion. I think these days, giving up your seat would only be expected for an elderly person or a pregnant woman. It would seem odd to give up a seat on the NYC subway to a woman these days. I have also given up my seat to mothers with little ones in tow. This is more out of sympathy then some sense of chivalry however. Jim ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2006, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-a-pregnant-woman-be-given-a-seat-on-a-crowded-train/367936/25 "2006-08-09T05:16:18Z")
As a guy I say, always give up your seat to the preggie. What she’s doing is very important, and it doesn’t look easy. I hope it’s not sexist to say so. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2006, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-a-pregnant-woman-be-given-a-seat-on-a-crowded-train/367936/26 "2006-08-09T05:33:34Z")
[QUOTE=Eva Luna] The same people who raised the people who wouldn’t give up a seat for me when I was _on crutches._ People can really be jerks. [/QUOTE] Really? Wow. When I was on crutches, all I had to do was crutch over to a bench really - slowly and look all hangdog. I cleared out entire benches at once like this. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2006, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-a-pregnant-woman-be-given-a-seat-on-a-crowded-train/367936/27 "2006-08-09T05:36:15Z")
Of course eleven years to the day before I was born (December 1 1966/1955) and about half-a-mile away from where I was born (downtown Montgomery AL) there was a man who didn’t give up his seat to a lady on a bus and it sort of… blew up into a big deal. Maybe I’m overcompensating. 🙂 Nevertheless, anachronistic or not, a gentleman rises when a lady enters the room, he gives his seat to her if there are no others available, he opens doors for her if she has anything in her hands, if she is carrying packages or otherwise laden he- if there is any way practical [i.e. he can afford the time and she will not be intimidated] he offers to assist her and in serving guests he serves ladies first. It may be outdated but in the unlikely event I ever have sons or clones to raise it’s an anachronism I’ll instill. (Incidentally I’m from a family where none of the women would ever be qualified as _helpless_- they can fire and clean weapons, gut fish, change tires, etc.- but they also see it as low breeding when [as I regret happens with the younger male members of my own family] a man doesn’t observe these quaint but, to us, quite important customs.) ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2006, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-a-pregnant-woman-be-given-a-seat-on-a-crowded-train/367936/28 "2006-08-09T05:44:53Z")
[QUOTE=Sampiro] Of course eleven years to the day before I was born (December 1 1966/1955) and about half-a-mile away from where I was born (downtown Montgomery AL) there was a man who didn’t give up his seat to a lady on a bus and it sort of… blew up into a big deal. Maybe I’m overcompensating. 🙂 …snip… [/QUOTE] Well we are pretty much the same age, so I think it is more about location than age. I generally hold doors for almost anyone, age and gender does not matter. I would feel a little weird giving up my seat on a subway to a women younger than me, but if you are going to overcompensate for something, nothing better in my book then overcompensating for that particularly singularly brave lady. Jim ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2006, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-a-pregnant-woman-be-given-a-seat-on-a-crowded-train/367936/29 "2006-08-09T06:10:39Z")
[QUOTE=jaderabbit] I’m visibly pregnant with twins. [/QUOTE] You need to move to [Japan](http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/5255672.stm). ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2006, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-a-pregnant-woman-be-given-a-seat-on-a-crowded-train/367936/30 "2006-08-09T06:19:54Z")
It saddens me that the question needs to be asked. It’m always pleased by the number of younger people (to me that means late teens to mid twenties) who offer their seats to the elderly and infirm. There is a flip side though. A hard faced woman boarded the bus I was on and stood right beside where I was sitting until I felt uncomfortable and gave her my seat (she wasn’t elderly, about my age). She didn’t even acknowledge me- not a nod of thanks or anything. I sort of consoled myself that I only had a short trip and she was probably going a lot further. She got off at the same stop. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2006, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-a-pregnant-woman-be-given-a-seat-on-a-crowded-train/367936/31 "2006-08-09T06:28:51Z")
I was got in minor trouble for something like this up in Ohio. A woman was approaching the door to a mall, so I held it open for her. She proceeded to curse me out for being a chauvinist. I replied “My mistake, Ma’am. I thought you were a Lady”. She **really** didn’t like that. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![footloose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@footloose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/footloose)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2006, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-a-pregnant-woman-be-given-a-seat-on-a-crowded-train/367936/32 "2006-08-09T06:59:14Z")
[QUOTE=Oakminster] I was got in minor trouble for something like this up in Ohio. A woman was approaching the door to a mall, so I held it open for her. She proceeded to curse me out for being a chauvinist. I replied “My mistake, Ma’am. I thought you were a Lady”. She **really** didn’t like that. 😃 [/QUOTE] Wow, I read that in Readers Digest 20 years ago. Was that you? ---
**Author:** ![LiveOnAPlane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3d9bf3/32.png) [@LiveOnAPlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LiveOnAPlane)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2006, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-a-pregnant-woman-be-given-a-seat-on-a-crowded-train/367936/33 "2006-08-09T07:21:29Z")
[QUOTE=Sampiro] I apologize if this is chauvinistic, but I seethe with irritation whenever I’m in a major city on their transit system and healthy young or middle-aged men sit while ladies (of any age or physical condition) stand. Not only would my father’s dead corpse reanimate, tunnel its way from rural Alabama into the subterranean train tracks of D.C. or Atlanta or wherever and kick the ass I sat upon … [/QUOTE] So would my mother’s corpse. Since she is still alive, though, she would die first, and THEN do what you said! You rock, **Sampiro**. ---
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2006, 8:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-a-pregnant-woman-be-given-a-seat-on-a-crowded-train/367936/34 "2006-08-09T08:30:06Z")
I guess I get to be the proverbial turd in the punchbowl here. While I would very likely offer my seat to any obviously pregnant woman, I wouldn’t feel any obligation to do so. Doing so would be a kind gesture on my part, not a fulfillment of a social or personal obligation. I would not look down on anybody who did not offer their seat.\* I think the expectation that somebody _must_ give up their seat to somebody who is pregnant is itself rude. Presumably one chooses to be pregnant, or chooses to partake in actions that will likely result in pregnancy. The fact that someone is able to procreate does not itself fill me with the urge to grant them favors. \*This is assuming that there are not clear rules posted on those forms of transportation about who has to give up their seats to who. Apparantly this is the case some places, so in those places I would indeed look down on somebody who did not follow those rules. ---
**Author:** ![irishgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2006, 8:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-a-pregnant-woman-be-given-a-seat-on-a-crowded-train/367936/35 "2006-08-09T08:46:20Z")
I’m more than happy to give my seat up to anyone who looks like they need it, if I can possibly bear to stand for the rest of the journey. When I had Plantar Fasciitis back in September, or a couple of weeks ago when my sciatica flared up and I was getting shooting pains down my legs and very painful muscle spasms in my back, I’m afraid I’d have kept my seat, even though i probably would have looked perfectly OK…until I stood up. I have noticed that young women seem much more willing than young men to give up their seats for the elderly, young mothers or pregnant women. I can only assume that the young men have been raised by Playstations and Wolves. ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2006, 9:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-a-pregnant-woman-be-given-a-seat-on-a-crowded-train/367936/36 "2006-08-09T09:11:09Z")
[QUOTE=Sampiro] Gore Vidal once said something to the effect of “if men got pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament” [/QUOTE] If he did, he was quoting from Gloria Steinem. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2006, 9:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-a-pregnant-woman-be-given-a-seat-on-a-crowded-train/367936/37 "2006-08-09T09:20:35Z")
[QUOTE=pseudotriton ruber ruber] If he did, he was quoting from Gloria Steinem. [/QUOTE] Or [Florynce Kennedy](http://womenshistory.about.com/library/qu/blqukenn.htm). That’s three “sources” and counting. “I never seek to take the credit; We all assume that Oscar said it.” (Dorothy Parker) ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2006, 9:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-a-pregnant-woman-be-given-a-seat-on-a-crowded-train/367936/38 "2006-08-09T09:23:11Z")
[QUOTE=pseudotriton ruber ruber] If he did, he was quoting from Gloria Steinem. [/QUOTE] Whichever of ‘em it was, he or she was an asshole. It’s a great slogan, but it doesn’t stand up to five minutes’ casual criticism. /hijack A pregnant woman is welcome to my seat anytime, though if she’s young, fit, healthy and not too far gone and my gout is acting up, she may be better equipped to stand than I am. ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2006, 9:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-a-pregnant-woman-be-given-a-seat-on-a-crowded-train/367936/39 "2006-08-09T09:54:26Z")
It’s not chauvinistic at all; it’s courteous. Of course I think a pregnant woman should be given a seat on a crowded train, as should anyone else who looks like he or she would find it awkward to stand on a moving train, including elderly people and people on crutches or people with canes. I could also make an argument in favor of giving up one’s seat to someone who’s carrying a lot of packages, depending on the circumstances. **BlackKnight** , it’s not about whether one “chooses to be pregnant”. After all, you don’t know if a guy on crutches wound up that way because he chose to go skiing or tripped and accidentally tripped and fell one day. It’s about showing courtesy and consideration to someone who’s physically worse off than you. In my personal morality, it’s derived from the Golden Rule and “What you do for the least of my people, you do also for me.” ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2006, 10:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-a-pregnant-woman-be-given-a-seat-on-a-crowded-train/367936/40 "2006-08-09T10:40:45Z")
I don’t ride trains, I ride buses. That said–damn straight. The only situation in which I can imagine not giving up my seat to a visibly pregnant woman in such a situation would be if I were in such distress myself that I couldn’t bear to stand–say I’d just had a low blood sugar incident, which tends to leave me weak for some time afterwards. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-a-pregnant-woman-be-given-a-seat-on-a-crowded-train/367936.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-a-pregnant-woman-be-given-a-seat-on-a-crowded-train/367936.md?page=3)