# Should an unwanting father pay child support? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [November 2, 2008, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-an-unwanting-father-pay-child-support/470716 "2008-11-02T13:50:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![erislover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/71e660/32.png) [@erislover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erislover)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2008, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-an-unwanting-father-pay-child-support/470716/81 "2008-11-03T21:29:59Z")
> [@cosmosdan](#): > > Let me know when it’s posted. I’d like to read it. I’m working on the details. I should have it up by this weekend, hopefully sooner. ---
**Author:** ![cosmosdan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@cosmosdan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cosmosdan)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2008, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-an-unwanting-father-pay-child-support/470716/82 "2008-11-03T21:46:31Z")
> [@levdrakon](#): > > So, basically you feel society needs to just accept that women can’t control themselves, and they’re just going to go out and get pregnant. No biggie honey, we know you can’t help it. You are, after all, just a woman. Men, OTOH, better know what they’re doing because we’re going to hold you responsible not only for yourself, but also for that helpless woman who can’t keep from getting pregnant. Is that about right? > > It seems to me when you say “that’s how society is” what you really mean is “that’s how women are.” Holy crap, I never said anything close to that. If that how it seemed to you you were inferring incorrectly. “recommending abstinence” includes both genders. “how society is” does as well. Sometimes girls and women are responsible and cautious. Sometimes boys and men are. Sometimes they are not and sometimes accidents happen. Unwanted pregnancies will continue to happen with both genders participating {that’s how it happens ya know} and that’s how society really is. I’m not recommending we hold men responsible for anything but their own choice, which most know can result in another human being sharing their DNA. Did that clarify it for you? ---
**Author:** ![jackdavinci](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackdavinci/32/3259_2.png) [@jackdavinci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackdavinci)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2008, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-an-unwanting-father-pay-child-support/470716/83 "2008-11-04T00:58:50Z")
Yes. Children deserve financial support from both parents. The money is for the kid not the mom. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2008, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-an-unwanting-father-pay-child-support/470716/84 "2008-11-04T01:06:51Z")
> [@cosmosdan](#): > > Is there a reason to think he can’t? That would be the jist of the thread. An unwanting father paying child support. ---
**Author:** ![cosmosdan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@cosmosdan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cosmosdan)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2008, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-an-unwanting-father-pay-child-support/470716/85 "2008-11-04T02:58:06Z")
> [@Magiver](#): > > That would be the jist of the thread. An unwanting father paying child support. To give it up a child for adoption to another father requires another _willing_ father and consent from the Mom. = ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2008, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-an-unwanting-father-pay-child-support/470716/86 "2008-11-04T03:46:35Z")
> [@cosmosdan](#): > > To give it up a child for adoption to another father requires another _willing_ father and consent from the Mom. > > = You can give the child up to the state. ---
**Author:** ![cosmosdan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@cosmosdan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cosmosdan)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2008, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-an-unwanting-father-pay-child-support/470716/87 "2008-11-04T04:24:47Z")
> [@Magiver](#): > > You can give the child up to the state. reread your previous post. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tao_s_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2008, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-an-unwanting-father-pay-child-support/470716/88 "2008-11-04T04:43:21Z")
> [@levdrakon](#): > > It is first and foremost a woman’s choice to expose herself to sperm. It’s misogynistic to expect men to take responsibility for women’s bodies, and what they decide to do with them. Men deserve a “trimester” to decide if they want to be a parent, starting from the time they are officially informed by the women she has elected to make them a seed-father. > > No going back after you get your trimester to decide. Do you know how many idiots would go around poking holes in their condoms and impregnating chicks just to “get their seed out”? A hell of a lot. Especially if they can opt out of the consequences. As the child of someone who did just that I say fuck that. If you don’t want to pay child support wear a condom and use a back up means in case of condom failure.. It’s just that simple. ---
**Author:** ![Vihaga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Vihaga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vihaga)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2008, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-an-unwanting-father-pay-child-support/470716/89 "2008-11-04T16:58:45Z")
> [@Natty\_Bumppo](#): > > It’s not that I don’t agree with what you are saying. It’s that a woman who really cares about her child first would try to make it work out with the father. That should be part of the equation. If the father shows an interest in taking responsibility, and wants to marry the mother, the courts should take that into consideration. Barring some evidence that the marriage would put the child, or mother, in danger I think she should be obliged to give him a chance to be a good husband and father to the kid. If she chooses to reject him at that point (and not marry him), that’s fine, but he’s off the hook, legally. What does him wanting to be a father have to do with marrying the mother? Isn’t this situation the entire point of joint custody, rather than telling a woman that she can only expect help from the guy if she marries him? ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2008, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-an-unwanting-father-pay-child-support/470716/90 "2008-11-04T17:24:40Z")
> [@CutterJohn](#): > > A single mother has ample opportunity to absolve herself of responsibility.. She can, at any point, decide that she no longer wants to have it. She can keep her legs shut. Use birth control. Get an abortion. Place the child up for adoption at any point after its born. > > The guys _only_ choice is keeping his dick in his pants. I would add use protection, but even if he takes every reasonable precaution, and it fails, he’s still on the hook despite the fact that his use of a condom means he didn’t want a kid. Underline mine. That applies to the woman as well. We’ve got women on these boards (and I know several more irl) who got pregnant while using several birth control methods. The pill (when it is possible to use it, not every woman can) is more effective than reverse, but it’s not 100% effective. Remember that “99% success” means “1% failure”. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tao_s_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2008, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-an-unwanting-father-pay-child-support/470716/91 "2008-11-04T17:28:34Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > Underline mine. That applies to the woman as well. We’ve got women on these boards (and I know several more irl) who got pregnant while using several birth control methods. The pill (when it is possible to use it, not every woman can) is more effective than reverse, but it’s not 100% effective. Remember that “99% success” means “1% failure”. My ex got pregnant twice on the pill. She ended up going with a different contraceptive. ---
**Author:** ![diggleblop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@diggleblop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/diggleblop)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2008, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-an-unwanting-father-pay-child-support/470716/92 "2008-11-05T01:07:37Z")
My answer is no. Biology being fair or not, no. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-an-unwanting-father-pay-child-support/470716.md?page=4)