# Should homophobia get more moderator attention?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-homophobia-get-more-moderator-attention/719798>\
**Category:** About This Message Board\
**Created:** [May 11, 2015, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-homophobia-get-more-moderator-attention/719798 "2015-05-11T17:50:12Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 1\
**Showing post:** 61

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\
**Post date:** [May 13, 2015, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-homophobia-get-more-moderator-attention/719798/61 "2015-05-13T19:16:04Z")

</div>

> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#):
>
> This is presented as a hypothetical but it appears to be a sort of redaction of a real post. What thread is it from?

From the linked thread:

> [@My 16yo son ignored Mother's Day.](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-16yo-son-ignored-mothers-day/719727/78):
>
> Well maybe you should put yourself in his shoes. Does he have a Dad? I’m sorry but your 2 women, like it or not and you look at the world as women.
> 
> Sorry to burst your gay bubble but your shoving alot of gay propaganda down the kids throat. The kid is probably confused but still loves you and hates to hurt your feelings by telling you the truth.
> 
> Please, step outside your gay circle and put yourself in his shoes.

> [@John\_Mace](#):
>
> Yeah, I don’t get the idea that being a lesbian couple has nothing to do with the issue of her son celebrating Mother’s Day. As noted, many kids only celebrate Mother’s/Father’s day because the other parent reminds and pushes them. It’s a bit different when there are 2 moms. Plus, should the kid be celebrating both moms on Mother’s day? I would think so, unless there is some understand that one is the “real mom” and the other is just “a parent”.
> 
> A similar issue might come up in a single parent household.
> 
> It’s not about whether one is “cool with it” or not. It’s about having an opposite sex parent to drag you, often kicking and screaming, into getting something for the other parent. That’s pretty much what it was like when I was growing up. My dad took the lead in celebrating Mother’s Day and we mostly followed along.

As others have said, while there might be some issues involved with celebrating mother’s day in a family where there are two moms that don’t show up in a family with a mom and a dad,

1. Discussing those issues clearly is clouded by folks who instead want to talk about how tapu’s family is inferior to a straight family; and
2. tapu knows her family better than we do, and has thought about these issues in much greater depth than us straight people have. If she tells us that it’s not an issue, it’s really freakin’ arrogant for us to assume we’ve thought of ways it’s an issue that she’s not already thought of.

When I first read it, yeah, I thought that maybe the fact that both parents were expecting to be honored was probably a relevant difference from my family, where on Mother’s Day I’m on extra duty so to speak and on Father’s Day my wife is on extra duty. But given the ugliness associated with people saying Your Lesbian Family Sucks, I didn’t really want to bring it up; and if tapu assures me they’ve calibrated for this difference, why the fuck wouldn’t I believe her? Especially since straight families experience the same phenomenon that she’s describing, so we don’t need to multiply entities etc.

---

_[View the full topic](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-homophobia-get-more-moderator-attention/719798)._