# Should I be..."concerned?" **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 21, 2008, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-be-concerned/478192 "2008-12-21T15:23:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 5\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Green\_Cymbeline](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_cymbeline/32/9244_2.png) [@Green\_Cymbeline](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Cymbeline)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2008, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-be-concerned/478192/81 "2008-12-27T03:34:06Z")
> [@Litoris](#): > > When my ex (my daughter’s father) and I were together, he cheated on me repeatedly… He also liked to throw me against the wall now and then… > > The moral of the story is, anyone who trash talks their wife/girlfriend/ex-wife/ex-girlfriend can’t be believed further than they can be thrown on average… Ok wait a minute… just playing devil’s advocate, but wouldn’t the items in the first sentences be “trash talk” which would make you a person who “can’t be believed further than they can be thrown?” What distinguishes “trash talk” from the truth? I’ve told my current BF about how my ex-BF cheated on me, in an honest and truthful way… is that trash talking or being open and honest about my past? What is the difference? ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2008, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-be-concerned/478192/82 "2008-12-27T03:39:55Z")
> [@j666](#): > > Eh hem. Would everyone else please cover their eyes? > > Fuck that shit. Don’t you dare tell me my child is not my child. I didn’t. Your rant is misdirected here. ---
**Author:** ![Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heffalump_and_roo/32/7691_2.png) [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heffalump_and_Roo)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2008, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-be-concerned/478192/83 "2008-12-27T04:15:40Z")
Sending a hug to the OP because regardless of what happens, it sounds like you’re going to need it. Good luck. ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2008, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-be-concerned/478192/84 "2008-12-27T04:30:55Z")
I’m going to give the benefit of the doubt to everything you describe being true. Apparently you have the word of his friends and family to corroborate his description of his ex, and you certainly know him much better than any of us. So while my first instinct is to advise you to run away fast unless you want the rest of your life to be filled with drama, I’ll allow for the possibility that you do have something that might be worth holding onto, but you just need to learn some skills and/or techniques to handle the inevitable brewhaha she’s likely to stir up, and offer up some suggestions. First, you’ve already figured out, stay off of MySpace. Second, your fiancé could help this situation by formalizing custody and visitation through the courts. I highly recommend you talk to him about the importance of doing this. If she knows she could potentially lose custody of her son by pulling manipulative games like she did on New Year’s Eve, she might knock that shit off. And speaking of her manipulative games – always have a backup plan, or be willing to come up with one on the fly! Call a babysitter; go out with your girlfriends; run to the store and buy a bottle of champaign, some steaks, candles and flowers and have a romantic celebration at home. Stop _allowing_ her to ruin your evenings. I wish you luck. ---
**Author:** ![Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heffalump_and_roo/32/7691_2.png) [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heffalump_and_Roo)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2008, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-be-concerned/478192/85 "2008-12-27T04:42:09Z")
Sorry, one more thing. I tried to stay out of it, but this would concern me a LOT if I were you. > [@LilGypsyGirl](#): > > He supports ME, a full-time student, as well. Given the situation, you have a lot less leverage and certainly less flexibility given that he’s supporting you financially. Something to consider. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-be-concerned/478192.md?page=4)