# Should I be mad at my husband? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 12, 2018, 9:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-be-mad-at-my-husband/810419 "2018-03-12T09:30:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Pork\_Rind](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pork_rind/32/111_2.png) [@Pork\_Rind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pork_Rind)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2018, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-be-mad-at-my-husband/810419/41 "2018-03-12T17:07:53Z")
It’s stories like this that remind me that I miss who my dad used to be. He had MS and the latter half of his life was a long, slow decline. Usually when I think of him, I remember the frail, easily confused old man who spoke little and needed help with everything. I forget the vital, young man he was in my early childhood. He, like me, was a car and motorcycle nut, and occasionally he’d come home for a day with a ridiculous sports car of one kind or another. He’d of course take me for a ride, and the conversation always went like this… Dad: “What’s the rule about what we do when we go for a ride?” Me: "Mom doesn’t need to know! Was it a good idea? No. Do I remember it fondly? Yup. Sorry for the partial hijack. This thread just brought back some super vivid memories that I thought I had lost. I’ll be laughing all day about thinking about those rides. ---
**Author:** ![Pork\_Rind](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pork_rind/32/111_2.png) [@Pork\_Rind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pork_Rind)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2018, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-be-mad-at-my-husband/810419/42 "2018-03-12T17:09:43Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > Two related thoughts: > I see the O.P. is in the UK but was considerate enough to post MPH so number one, thank you for accommodating us. Fun fact: The UK uses MPH for speed limits. ---
**Author:** ![Lamoral](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lamoral/32/16078_2.png) [@Lamoral](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamoral)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2018, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-be-mad-at-my-husband/810419/43 "2018-03-12T17:13:42Z")
If you get too mad at him, you run the risk of him buying a fast car, putting on his lead boots, and taking a long long drive. ---
**Author:** ![scr4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/59ef9b/32.png) [@scr4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scr4)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2018, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-be-mad-at-my-husband/810419/44 "2018-03-12T17:16:54Z")
He demonstrating to his/your son that it’s OK to break the law and risk their lives just for a bit of fun. I’d be mad if I were in your position. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2018, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-be-mad-at-my-husband/810419/45 "2018-03-12T17:19:30Z")
> [@Pork\_Rind](#): > > It’s stories like this that remind me that I miss who my dad used to be. He had MS and the latter half of his life was a long, slow decline. Usually when I think of him, I remember the frail, easily confused old man who spoke little and needed help with everything. I forget the vital, young man he was in my early childhood. > > He, like me, was a car and motorcycle nut, and occasionally he’d come home for a day with a ridiculous sports car of one kind or another. He’d of course take me for a ride, and the conversation always went like this… > > Dad: “What’s the rule about what we do when we go for a ride?” > Me: "Mom doesn’t need to know! > > Was it a good idea? No. Do I remember it fondly? Yup. Sorry for the partial hijack. This thread just brought back some super vivid memories that I thought I had lost. I’ll be laughing all day about thinking about those rides. Indeed. My dad is still alive, but frailer than before, but this thread also brought up one of my earliest memories (I was maybe 5 or 6), when he and his buddies took me along on a fishing trip with some muscle car or another they had, and I was in the back seat back in the no seatbelt days, as they raced down the Indiana highway to see how fast they could the car to go. It was only a brief moment, and I remember them hitting not too far past 110 or so. Yeah, a silly thing to do in retrospect, but a fond memory. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Kumquat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gary\_Kumquat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Kumquat)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2018, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-be-mad-at-my-husband/810419/46 "2018-03-12T17:35:34Z")
> [@Blue\_Mood](#): > > So, should I be mad at my husband? No. Sure I could go into detail why, but let’s be honest it’d all be subjective to me, my wife, and our kids, so not really relevant to you. Whereas you are clearly pissed off at him, so please do go through this with him, and reach some form of agreement over ground rules (so at least he knows where you stand). ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2018, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-be-mad-at-my-husband/810419/47 "2018-03-12T18:10:58Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > Did you rent from a company that monitors driving data? ISTR hearing about rental cars that have onboard computers that can tell the rental company if you’ve been _ahem_ “driving it like it was rented,” and rental agreements with fine print permitting them to assess penalties if they find you have. > > Is that a thing, these days? > [@Blue\_Mood](#): > > I haven’t heard of that - if so it hadn’t been pointed out to us. But another concern is that the insurance would be invalidated if the driver was not driving lawfully. Well, if it’s not prying too much, could you share the name of the company you rented from (plus maybe why you find yourselves renting a car at all)? ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2018, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-be-mad-at-my-husband/810419/48 "2018-03-12T18:25:45Z")
I’d be uneasy about the speeding example. I’d be angry about the disrespect. I don’t think what I say goes, but I expect to have conversations about it, not to be ignored and then face what could appear to be almost taunting over it. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2018, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-be-mad-at-my-husband/810419/49 "2018-03-12T18:52:21Z")
> [@beowulff](#): > > Won’t Dad be surprised when he gets the [bill](http://supreme.findlaw.com/legal-commentary/tracking-every-move-you-make-can-car-rental-companies-use-technology-to-monitor-our-driving.html)… There are a few problems with that link, not the least of which is that the findlaw article tells of a case in which the penalties/assessments were ultimately struck down by the state Supreme Court. It was also written in 2005, and dealt with U.S. legal issues, whereas the incident under discussion here took place in the UK. It did illuminate some areas of US contract law wrt the use of GPS, so that was useful. And it was probably the type of policy that I remembered hearing about. But thirteen years later, I wonder if a black box-type data recorder would be used; whether its use would be subjected to the same restrictions as data from a GPS; and whether European (and soon-to-be-former European) legal outcomes would follow those of the US case[s]. (Is there any reason the rental company couldn’t assess penalties based solely on breach of contract grounds, and leave the issue of wear-and-tear out of it?) ---
**Author:** ![nightshadea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7ba0ec/32.png) [@nightshadea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nightshadea)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2018, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-be-mad-at-my-husband/810419/50 "2018-03-12T18:56:02Z")
- > [@](#): > > Dad: “What’s the rule about what we do when we go for a ride?” > Me: "Mom doesn’t need to know! actually one of the few fun times I ever had with my stepdad was when he had his bike and it was like 12:30at night and we wanted snacks and he said … wanna try something (famous last words when he asked that )? Me “sure” of course I was wearing a helmet … he gunned the bike to 95 down the main ave on that side of town there and back mom found out months later when I was telling my friends … she just shook her head and sighed …(which was a common reaction to things I did back then) ---
**Author:** ![naita](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/naita/32/5862_2.png) [@naita](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/naita)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2018, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-be-mad-at-my-husband/810419/51 "2018-03-12T19:08:15Z")
I’ve driven over 100 mph once. In a Ford Sierra. On an open and straight stretch of road. With no other cars in sight. And even though it was 24 years ago and I was 19 years old I’m still embarrassed I did something that stupid. Should you be mad at your husband for this single event? I’m mad at him, and I don’t even know him. That said, I don’t know the context. Did he tell the kid it was potentially dangerous? Does he encourage risky behavior the rest of the time? Did you decide to marry him and have kids knowing he was an idiot? Will you being mad at him make the world a better place in any way? There are roads in the world with no speed limit and very few accidents, and the conditions of those roads exist on a lot of high quality roads with speed limits. That said, these roads are not completely without accidents, and when accidents do happen they are spectacular! ---
**Author:** ![Novelty\_Bobble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Novelty\_Bobble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Novelty_Bobble)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2018, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-be-mad-at-my-husband/810419/52 "2018-03-12T19:26:35Z")
Not sure how this would be a UK issue as the Camaro SS isn’t available over here in RHD as far as I know and if available for rental at all it must be from a specialist company. Plus we don’t have “interstates” In any case, I’d be furious. You seem to have made it clear that it wasn’t acceptable and it was done anyway. That shows a lack of respect for your opinion that would be a massive problem for me. Mind you, you did say you let your son choose the rental car which is a bad idea to start with. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Kumquat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gary\_Kumquat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Kumquat)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2018, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-be-mad-at-my-husband/810419/53 "2018-03-12T19:48:20Z")
> [@naita](#): > > There are roads in the world with no speed limit and very few accidents, and the conditions of those roads exist on a lot of high quality roads with speed limits. The Isle of Man, TT course, Mountain Road. My personal limit was 128 in a car. Fastest with kids in would be 110. Entirely legal, and in a decent car is also rather safe as long as you’re on the right section and the conditions are fine. ---
**Author:** ![polar\_bear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ec9cab/32.png) [@polar\_bear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/polar_bear)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2018, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-be-mad-at-my-husband/810419/54 "2018-03-12T20:11:13Z")
Am I getting these conversions right? 103mph is about 165kmh? That really is not that fast by itself (given the right circumstances, like empty road with a clear view). I’ve done that on extended stretches of autobahn often enough. I’ve done 130mph once when we had very good clear stretch of empty road (and I was driving a good car), that kind of felt too fast to sustain for long periods of time (but not particularly dangerous given the circumstances); funnily enough that was with my dad as a passenger, although I was closer to 31 than 13. If you are mad for setting a wrong example because this might cause your kid to act similarly, I can understand. Provided it was on an empty road, I wouldn’t pull ther dangerous card too much. ---
**Author:** ![Jennshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Jennshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennshark)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2018, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-be-mad-at-my-husband/810419/55 "2018-03-12T20:35:58Z")
As others have said, 100mph is a speed at which most modern sports cars are safe and controllable. I’m a speed demon when I drive alone. I don’t have kids, but knowing myself I would do the thrill ride then talk about it being a one-off experience, etc, etc. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2018, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-be-mad-at-my-husband/810419/56 "2018-03-12T21:00:05Z")
> [@Jennshark](#): > > As others have said, 100mph is a speed at which most modern sports cars are safe and controllable. Not even sports cars. I think most modern cars are pretty fine at those speeds. My Mazda3 feels rock solid at 100 mph and beyond. My wife’ 2005 Ford Focus, though, doesn’t seem to really like anything much over 80. I mean, it still drives and feels fine at 85, but it gets a bit loud and jittery on the inside. (Oddly, the fastest I’ve ever driven a car was a c2000 European Ford Focus with an upgraded engine. Got that sucker to 240 kph on the speedometer, but I’m guessing it overread a bit, so 140 mph-ish.) ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2018, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-be-mad-at-my-husband/810419/57 "2018-03-12T21:13:56Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > Not even sports cars. I think most modern cars are pretty fine at those speeds. My Mazda3 feels rock solid at 100 mph and beyond. My wife’ 2005 Ford Focus, though, doesn’t seem to really like anything much over 80. I mean, it still drives and feels fine at 85, but it gets a bit loud and jittery on the inside. (Oddly, the fastest I’ve ever driven a car was a c2000 European Ford Focus with an upgraded engine. Got that sucker to 240 kph on the speedometer, but I’m guessing it overread a bit, so 140 mph-ish.) I clearly have to turn in my male gene. I don’t see driving over 80 mph as anything other than reckless. ---
**Author:** ![Patx2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/73ab20/32.png) [@Patx2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patx2)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2018, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-be-mad-at-my-husband/810419/58 "2018-03-12T21:35:16Z")
I would be angry, besides as you pointed out, what if… he’s a kid who is a few years away from getting licensed. I wouldn’t want my kid thinking this was ok under any circumstances. Teens and cars can already be a highly toxic scenario. ---
**Author:** ![Jennshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Jennshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennshark)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2018, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-be-mad-at-my-husband/810419/59 "2018-03-12T21:40:05Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > Not even sports cars. I think most modern cars are pretty fine at those speeds. My Mazda3 feels rock solid at 100 mph and beyond. My wife’ 2005 Ford Focus, though, doesn’t seem to really like anything much over 80. I mean, it still drives and feels fine at 85, but it gets a bit loud and jittery on the inside. (Oddly, the fastest I’ve ever driven a car was a c2000 European Ford Focus with an upgraded engine. Got that sucker to 240 kph on the speedometer, but I’m guessing it overread a bit, so 140 mph-ish.) I was going to loan my spare BMW to a friend’s son who needed a car for a few weeks. However, I decided lending a car that finds its “sweet spot” over 100mph wasn’t a good match with a 20yo who has some trouble with impulsivity. ---
**Author:** ![doorhinge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a5b964/32.png) [@doorhinge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doorhinge)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2018, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-be-mad-at-my-husband/810419/60 "2018-03-12T21:54:35Z")
> [@beowulff](#): > > Won’t Dad be surprised when he gets the [bill](http://supreme.findlaw.com/legal-commentary/tracking-every-move-you-make-can-car-rental-companies-use-technology-to-monitor-our-driving.html)… What bill? According to the 2005 article - \*The Connecticut Supreme Court’s Ruling: An Illegal Contractual Penalty Common intuition suggests the $150 charge - and, especially, the sum of multiple $150 charges - is too high. And fortunately, the court interpreting the contract here agreed.\* _In California, for instance, car rental companies may no longer use GPS information to impose surcharges, fines or penalties relating to the renter’s use of a leased vehicle._ _New York has a law that also prohibits car rental companies from using GPS information “to determine or impose any costs, fees, charges or penalties on an authorized driver for such driver’s use of a rental vehicle,” subject to an exception for the recovery of “a vehicle that is lost, misplaced or stolen.”_ There are consumer privacy and protection issues that seem to prevent many applications of GPS tracking. State’s rights (this is not a federal issue) would require that you check the applicable state’s laws. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-be-mad-at-my-husband/810419.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-be-mad-at-my-husband/810419.md?page=4)