# Should I be mad at my husband? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 12, 2018, 9:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-be-mad-at-my-husband/810419 "2018-03-12T09:30:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![k9bfriender](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k9bfriender/32/3283_2.png) [@k9bfriender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/k9bfriender)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2018, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-be-mad-at-my-husband/810419/101 "2018-03-14T18:01:54Z")
> [@naita](#): > > There are roads in the world with no speed limit and very few accidents, and the conditions of those roads exist on a lot of high quality roads with speed limits. > > That said, these roads are not completely without accidents, and when accidents do happen they are spectacular! There are also race tracks. They aren’t always easy to find, but they are around. In exchange for a nominal fee, they will let you drive your car on the track at whatever speed you want. I had some frieds who were into amature racing, and they’d mod up their civics and take them out on the track. Probably a better idea if you are just wanting to drive fast, safer for the driver, but more importantly, safer for other drivers. ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2018, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-be-mad-at-my-husband/810419/102 "2018-03-14T18:10:55Z")
100 is irresponsible but boys will be boys, we need some thrills and adventure sometimes. If this is just an isolated incident, no big deal in my opinion. Modern automobiles are safe and stable at 100MPH, the main risk is getting caught by law enforcement. My opinion is let him know your disapproval and move on, don’t dwell on it. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2018, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-be-mad-at-my-husband/810419/103 "2018-03-14T18:23:49Z")
> [@control-z](#): > > 100 is irresponsible but boys will be boys Wow, I haven’t heard/seen that said unironically in years. ---
**Author:** ![k9bfriender](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k9bfriender/32/3283_2.png) [@k9bfriender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/k9bfriender)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2018, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-be-mad-at-my-husband/810419/104 "2018-03-14T18:48:39Z")
> [@control-z](#): > > 100 is irresponsible but boys will be boys, we need some thrills and adventure sometimes. If this is just an isolated incident, no big deal in my opinion. > > Modern automobiles are safe and stable at 100MPH, the main risk is getting caught by law enforcement. My opinion is let him know your disapproval and move on, don’t dwell on it. The main risk is actually plowing into a minivan full of family. ---
**Author:** ![CookingWithGas](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cookingwithgas/32/485_2.png) [@CookingWithGas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CookingWithGas)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2018, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-be-mad-at-my-husband/810419/105 "2018-03-15T00:04:08Z")
> [@k9bfriender](#): > > The main risk is actually plowing into a minivan full of family. [A 21-year-old Potomac man was sentenced to 12 years in prison Friday for speeding on River Road at more than 100 mph and causing the February collision that killed three members of a Bethesda family.](http://www.bethesdamagazine.com/Bethesda-Beat/Web-2016/Driver-Sentenced-to-12-Years-in-Crash-That-Killed-3-Members-of-Bethesda-Family/)Not a highway, but at 100 MPH things go wrong very fast. ---
**Author:** ![Haldurson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/51bf81/32.png) [@Haldurson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Haldurson)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2018, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-be-mad-at-my-husband/810419/106 "2018-03-15T02:36:10Z")
> [@Blue\_Mood](#): > > We let our 13 year old son choose our last car rental - it was a Camaro SS. All was fine but my husband took him for a little spin on the interstate and exceeded 90 mph several times, topping out at 103 mph at one point. I can only speak for myself – I’d be furious. I had a boss who had spent 5 years in bed because he loved driving fast. It was a miracle he had survived. He got into an accident and nearly died, taking the lives of people in the next car. His spine is essentially filled with metal. I have no problem with people who are reckless with their own life, so long as its only their own life at risk. It’s downright sociopathic to do the same thing on a public highway. And yes, it’s a HORRIBLY DANGEROUS example to set for your kid. Most people THINK they are good drivers. Ask anyone if they are a good driver, and I guarantee that more than half of them will claim that they are. I had a friend who lost his drivers license because he had too much confidence in his driving skills. A box fell off of the back of a small pickup he was tailgating and he ended up causing a serious collision because he couldn’t move out of the way in time. He lost his license. He’s too embarrassed to talk about it because he used to always give me a really hard time when I drove him around, because I wouldn’t tailgate or swerve through traffic or speed like he did. He’s now off the road for a while, having to commute by train (his wife drives him to the station every morning). I don’t care if you engage in risky behavior when it’s only your life at stake. Keep it off of the public roads. Too many people have died or suffered serious injury because of that. ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2018, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-be-mad-at-my-husband/810419/107 "2018-03-15T04:34:46Z")
> [@k9bfriender](#): > > The main risk is actually plowing into a minivan full of family. Ater sneezing/swatting at a bee/swerving too hard around an object in the road/shit! squirrel/What’s a truck doing th---- Initially I was a little blasé about this, but realistically it’s a stupid thing to do with your kid in the car. Especially your kid who will start driving in a few years and now thinks that Mom :rolleyes: is an over-reactive idiot when it comes to cars and safety. I haven’t read every post (mea culpa) but if it hasn’t been covered, Dad needs to sit down with son and have a serious talk. He needs to explain why he did was wrong, what could have happened, and what family expectations are for everyone. Let’s face it. Driving a fast car is fun. I’ve posted about it here myself. Young drivers are notoriously bad at it, however. Your son can make different decisions for himself later, when his brain is more developed and he has the experience to go with it. ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2018, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-be-mad-at-my-husband/810419/108 "2018-03-15T06:27:57Z")
> [@CookingWithGas](#): > > [A 21-year-old Potomac man was sentenced to 12 years in prison Friday for speeding on River Road at more than 100 mph and causing the February collision that killed three members of a Bethesda family.](http://www.bethesdamagazine.com/Bethesda-Beat/Web-2016/Driver-Sentenced-to-12-Years-in-Crash-That-Killed-3-Members-of-Bethesda-Family/)Not a highway, but at 100 MPH things go wrong very fast. I used to live in that area and 100mph on River Road is utter insanity. That’s literally the equivalent of doing 180mph on a 70mph freeway. Unreal. If you’re going to excessively speed, you have to pick your spots. City/county/surface roads are NEVER it. > [@Haldurson](#): > > I had a friend who lost his drivers license because he had too much confidence in his driving skills. A box fell off of the back of a small pickup he was tailgating and he ended up causing a serious collision because he couldn’t move out of the way in time. He lost his license. He lost his license over that? Even if he hadn’t been tailgating he could have still been unable to avoid he box and still caused an accident. He must have had a really shitty driving record prior to that. ---
**Author:** ![Novelty\_Bobble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Novelty\_Bobble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Novelty_Bobble)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2018, 8:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-be-mad-at-my-husband/810419/109 "2018-03-15T08:29:30Z")
> [@control-z](#): > > 100 is irresponsible but boys will be boys, we need some thrills and adventure sometimes. If this is just an isolated incident, no big deal in my opinion. > > Modern automobiles are safe and stable at 100MPH, the main risk is getting caught by law enforcement. My opinion is let him know your disapproval and move on, don’t dwell on it. The problem isn’t the cars, it’s the roads and the other people on it. People quote the fact that cars easily cruise at 100mph+ on autobahns with no real problems and that is true…but. In Germany the vast majority of the autobahns have limits and strict rules of conduct (no overtaking on the right, no tailgating…etc) that are punished regularly and heavily. Everyone knows and expects high speed vehicles and are trained to act accordingly. Plus the unrestricted roads are maintained to a very high level. Doing very high speeds in the USA, regardless of how well you trust your judgement, puts you at a high differential speed with other road users who will not be expecting you to be going so fast and who are not trained for those conditions on roads that are not set up to deal with very high speed traffic. If you think the main is risk is getting caught then you are beyond help and the sort of reckless individual who really needs to be caught. The idiotic “boys will be boys” comment indicates the mentality that contributes to three times more young men than women being killed on the roads. They don’t need any encouragement to be reckless, quite the opposite and they certainly don’t need a free pass to have “thrills and adventure” on the public roads. ---
**Author:** ![polar\_bear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ec9cab/32.png) [@polar\_bear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/polar_bear)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2018, 9:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-be-mad-at-my-husband/810419/110 "2018-03-15T09:07:46Z")
So I guess it boils down to the circumstances? I don’t recall any information about these in the op. Verstuurd vanaf mijn Moto G (4) met Tapatalk ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2018, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-be-mad-at-my-husband/810419/111 "2018-03-15T16:28:46Z")
No, it really doesn’t. It boils down to teenagers can’t make those judgment call and parents shouldn’t set that example. Sure, some people snort meth with their kids, but they shouldn’t. If we’re picking safe place and time, off the top of my head? On a closed track, with a trained race track driver, after a training course. Maybe. Kids are stupid. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2018, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-be-mad-at-my-husband/810419/112 "2018-03-15T16:49:51Z")
> [@Sunny\_Daze](#): > > No, it really doesn’t. It boils down to teenagers can’t make those judgment call and parents shouldn’t set that example. Sure, some people snort meth with their kids, but they shouldn’t. Agreed. But it is almost as bad even if the kid wasn’t in the car. Speeding is one thing; 100 mph is a whole different thing. It’s reckless driving, pure and simple. ---
**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2018, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-be-mad-at-my-husband/810419/113 "2018-03-15T17:45:42Z")
I vote you should be mad at him. Dangerous, bad example, immature, and more. Maybe you should keep him, but some anger is definitely appropriate. ---
**Author:** ![Melbourne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Melbourne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melbourne)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2018, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-be-mad-at-my-husband/810419/114 "2018-03-16T02:19:43Z")
> [@Blue\_Mood](#): > > So, should I be mad at my husband? Sure, there’s nothing wrong with being mad at your husband from time to time, and you can pick which things you want to mad about. Now I personally think your description of your response was over-the-top (sick?), but living with a crazy person is part of being married: you do it, he does it too. And part of being a parent is setting a good example: he misbehaves in some minor matter, you get mad in some minor way, the kid gets to see that the even adults have to put up with restrictions, and even adults get angry sometimes, and everybody deals with it in an adult way. ---
**Author:** ![JustBree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a698b9/32.png) [@JustBree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JustBree)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2018, 11:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-be-mad-at-my-husband/810419/115 "2018-03-16T11:14:12Z")
I can’t get behind the steering wheel of a car without having a panic attack. I wish people didn’t do these kinds of things, like what your husband did, and I wish some people didn’t think it was okay. It’s not about how good the car is, or how skilled the driver is. There are certain conditions that make it more safe, like a long straight road and no other cars in sight. But you can’t _eliminate_ the risk, because that’s impossible. There’s always going to be a slim little chance that you encounter something unexpected, or just… fuck up. The problem is this. You’re sharing those roads. You will never just be putting yourself at risk. You are saying that it’s okay to risk the lives of total strangers for the sake of a momentary thrill. **There are better times and better places to get your adrenaline fix.** I don’t want to sound preachy, but I can’t stand it when people get all blasé about driving. Just because you do it every single day doesn’t mean it’s not statistically the most dangerous thing you’ll ever subject yourself to. And I might be in the next lane over, in somebody’s passenger seat, so maybe don’t give me yet more reasons to be afraid. Quoted for relevance/being worthy of repeating: > [@wonky](#): > > IWhen I worry about someone going too fast, it’s a worry about the driver’s judgment and reflexes, about unforeseen things like deer or debris, about traffic and traffic cops. > > Nearly everyone thinks they are a great driver. I bet the OP’s husband thinks he’s wonderful. > [@CookingWithGas](#): > > People who think they are hotshot drivers can find out very suddenly that they are not as good as they think they are, and people die. If your husband wants to drive fast safely and legally then he can take his car to a track. ---
**Author:** ![sitchensis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sitchensis/32/4892_2.png) [@sitchensis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sitchensis)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2018, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-be-mad-at-my-husband/810419/116 "2018-03-16T16:54:39Z")
The most nervous person in a family doesn’t automatically get control over everything that happens in the family. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2018, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-be-mad-at-my-husband/810419/117 "2018-03-16T17:21:01Z")
Fathers and sons getting into mischief make for some of the best bonding moments and memories. ---
**Author:** ![k9bfriender](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k9bfriender/32/3283_2.png) [@k9bfriender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/k9bfriender)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2018, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-be-mad-at-my-husband/810419/118 "2018-03-16T17:25:02Z")
> [@sitchensis](#): > > The most nervous person in a family doesn’t automatically get control over everything that happens in the family. Nor should the most irresponsible. > [@Grrr](#): > > Fathers and sons getting into mischief make for some of the best bonding moments and memories. Yeah, come home an hour late for dinner, covered in mud, burrs, and scratches, that’s mischief. There’s some bonding to be done there. Not coming home, or even worse, preventing someone else from ever making it home to their families isn’t mischief. Like I said, you want to drive that fast, go find a closed track to do so on. ---
**Author:** ![sitchensis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sitchensis/32/4892_2.png) [@sitchensis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sitchensis)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2018, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-be-mad-at-my-husband/810419/119 "2018-03-16T19:03:42Z")
> [@k9bfriender](#): > > Nor should the most irresponsible. He isn’t trying to control her parenting. She’s trying to control his. ---
**Author:** ![k9bfriender](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k9bfriender/32/3283_2.png) [@k9bfriender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/k9bfriender)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2018, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-be-mad-at-my-husband/810419/120 "2018-03-16T19:30:34Z")
> [@sitchensis](#): > > He isn’t trying to control her parenting. She’s trying to control his. He is not only trying to control, but completely overriding her “parenting” by doing something that is both risky and sets a terrible example to their child without consulting her at all. The only way I can see your POV being justified here is if for some reason the father is the one who actually makes the decisions, and the mother should just accept them. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-be-mad-at-my-husband/810419.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-be-mad-at-my-husband/810419.md?page=7)