# Should I bring a flower? If yes what kind? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 3, 2012, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-bring-a-flower-if-yes-what-kind/617718 "2012-04-03T18:59:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![MannyL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@MannyL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MannyL)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2012, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-bring-a-flower-if-yes-what-kind/617718/1 "2012-04-03T18:59:18Z")
I’ve been talking to a woman I’ve met on an online dating site. We are going to be meeting later this week. I know her favorite color is purple. I was thinking of bringing a single flower on the date. If it’s a good idea what kind of flower to bring? ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2012, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-bring-a-flower-if-yes-what-kind/617718/2 "2012-04-03T19:04:17Z")
I gotta firmly plant (ha) myself in the no-flower-on-the-first-date camp. I have seen it argued convincingly that any kind of gift is inapprorpate on date 1. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2012, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-bring-a-flower-if-yes-what-kind/617718/3 "2012-04-03T19:06:46Z")
Don’t bring a flower unless as you are walking towards her there is a flower on the corner that is begging to be picked. Seriously. If the date goes phenomenally well you may have an opportunity to buy her something during it. Otherwise, just bring your charming self. ---
**Author:** ![SanVito](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sanvito/32/2805_2.png) [@SanVito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanVito)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2012, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-bring-a-flower-if-yes-what-kind/617718/4 "2012-04-03T19:08:22Z")
Yep, in this modern age I think most women would regard it as more creepy or trying too hard than romantic. Save the flowers for when you actually know each other. ---
**Author:** ![Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tastes_of_chocolate/32/3232_2.png) [@Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tastes_of_Chocolate)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2012, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-bring-a-flower-if-yes-what-kind/617718/5 "2012-04-03T19:13:16Z")
Consider this, before you decide about bringing a flower. What are your planned activities? If you bring a flower, she will probably want to carry it with, which can be ackward to hold on to, if say you were going to a bar to hear a band. ---
**Author:** ![gwendee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/35a633/32.png) [@gwendee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gwendee)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2012, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-bring-a-flower-if-yes-what-kind/617718/6 "2012-04-03T19:25:30Z")
> [@Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](#): > > Consider this, before you decide about bringing a flower. > What are your planned activities? > If you bring a flower, she will probably want to carry it with, which can be ackward to hold on to, if say you were going to a bar to hear a band. Precisely this. You don’t want your thoughtful gift to turn into a chore. Some people also have weird associations with certain flowers. You don’t want to guess wrong. I hope you enjoy your date. ---
**Author:** ![MannyL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@MannyL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MannyL)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2012, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-bring-a-flower-if-yes-what-kind/617718/7 "2012-04-03T19:26:06Z")
We are going to a comedy show. ( Part of me hopes she is a not a Doper so she doesn’t see this thread) ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2012, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-bring-a-flower-if-yes-what-kind/617718/8 "2012-04-03T19:27:35Z")
I’m a woman who has met several men via online dating sites: _skip the flower_. Unless she has already told you that she really, really likes getting them, it’s a dorky cliché. ---
**Author:** ![Capt\_Kirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@Capt\_Kirk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt_Kirk)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2012, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-bring-a-flower-if-yes-what-kind/617718/9 "2012-04-03T19:31:03Z")
Hey if she is a Doper and she sees this, don’t worry its proof that A you are thoughtful and not brash and B you are thinking with your big brain and not your little one. Flowers are sex/fertility symbols so never on a first date, have a great date cheers ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2012, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-bring-a-flower-if-yes-what-kind/617718/10 "2012-04-03T20:03:35Z")
Don’t bring a real flower until you know whether or not she’s allergic. I’d go with not bringing flowers at all, until you’re really into a relationship and you are meeting at her home (where she can put the flowers on a table) and you KNOW whether or not she’s got a vase. Also, if she has indoor cats, flowers are simply rather expensive treats for the cats. You can’t keep cats out of indoor greenery, unless you put the ivy or whatever way up where the cats can’t get to it. And believe me, the cats WILL try to get to it. For obligate carnivores, cats lurvs them some plant material. ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2012, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-bring-a-flower-if-yes-what-kind/617718/11 "2012-04-03T20:15:36Z")
No do not do this. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2012, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-bring-a-flower-if-yes-what-kind/617718/12 "2012-04-03T20:17:46Z")
So you hand her a flower and then what? She carries it around for the rest of the date? No flower. ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2012, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-bring-a-flower-if-yes-what-kind/617718/13 "2012-04-03T20:32:19Z")
> [@Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](#): > > If you bring a flower, she will probably want to carry it with, which can be ackward to hold on to, if say you were going to a bar to hear a band. > [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > I’d go with not bringing flowers at all, until you’re really into a relationship and you are meeting at her home (where she can put the flowers on a table) and you KNOW whether or not she’s got a vase. > [@Zebra](#): > > So you hand her a flower and then what? She carries it around for the rest of the date? What they said. I’ve asked this question of many of the women I know, and they’ve all said the same thing: when you give a woman flowers, the first thing she thinks is, “Oh, that’s sweet!” but the _second_ thing she thinks is, “Great, now I have to carry this thing around with me all night.” If the date goes well, send her flowers later. ---
**Author:** ![Aeris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a183cd/32.png) [@Aeris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeris)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2012, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-bring-a-flower-if-yes-what-kind/617718/14 "2012-04-03T20:34:59Z")
I voted for bring a flower. I think it would be so sweet and romantic. I would not mind carrying around a flower and since you are going to a comedy show it sounds like she won’t need to be carrying it around anyway. ---
**Author:** ![MannyL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@MannyL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MannyL)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2012, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-bring-a-flower-if-yes-what-kind/617718/15 "2012-04-03T20:47:33Z")
Ok so 14 say no and 6 say Yes in the poll, Out of my friends 3 said yes and two said no so I’m at 9 in favor and 16 against. I think I will be taking the advise of the majority here and not bring a flower unless the people who are pro flowers start posting in mass. I was considering a purple daisy but not a purple rose. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2012, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-bring-a-flower-if-yes-what-kind/617718/16 "2012-04-03T20:52:11Z")
I would really like it, but I don’t think my opinion is representative of women in general. Bringing a flower has the chance to work against you, whereas leaving it out doesn’t hurt you at all. I have to vote no. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2012, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-bring-a-flower-if-yes-what-kind/617718/17 "2012-04-03T20:54:30Z")
I agree with **rachelellogram**. _I_ would like it, but I’m reasonably sure I’m not your date, and it has a high risk of not being looked on fondly by whomever is your date. Repeating from upthread: if the date goes well, send her some flowers. If you call local, rather than an 800 florist number, you can get a great custom made purple whatever’s-actually-in-season-and-looks-good for a very reasonable price. Springtime is a great time for purple flowers. (Fall is trickier for purple, but great for orange and red.) IF the date goes well. By which I mean you had a great time, you’ve called her and she’s picked up the phone or she’s called you. Some indication that a good time was had by _all_. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2012, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-bring-a-flower-if-yes-what-kind/617718/18 "2012-04-03T20:56:39Z")
> [@MannyL](#): > > Ok so 14 say no and 6 say Yes in the poll, Out of my friends 3 said yes and two said no so I’m at 9 in favor and 16 against. I think I will be taking the advise of the majority here and not bring a flower unless the people who are pro flowers start posting in mass. > > I was considering a purple daisy but not a purple rose. It would be different if you were going somewhere she had a place to put it, like picking it up at her house. ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2012, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-bring-a-flower-if-yes-what-kind/617718/19 "2012-04-03T21:17:01Z")
> [@Aeris](#): > > I voted for bring a flower. Not surprising, given that you go by “Aeris”. 🙂 I would say no flower(s) at this stage. Maybe later, when you know her better and the situation is suitable for flora. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2012, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-bring-a-flower-if-yes-what-kind/617718/20 "2012-04-03T21:47:28Z")
> [@](#): > > Repeating from upthread: if the date goes well, send her some flowers. If you call local, rather than an 800 florist number, you can get a great custom made purple whatever’s-actually-in-season-and-looks-good for a very reasonable price. Springtime is a great time for purple flowers. (Fall is trickier for purple, but great for orange and red.) I’d say flowers after the first date is still a little much, unless the two of you happened to end up in bed, in which case flowers or SOMETHING to show your appreciation is indicated. However, that’s just me. And I haven’t been on a date with anyone except my husband for 35 years. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-bring-a-flower-if-yes-what-kind/617718.md?page=2)