# Should I bring a flower? If yes what kind? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 3, 2012, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-bring-a-flower-if-yes-what-kind/617718 "2012-04-03T18:59:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![MannyL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@MannyL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MannyL)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2012, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-bring-a-flower-if-yes-what-kind/617718/21 "2012-04-03T21:50:00Z")
I can all but guarantee we won’t end up in bed because I would not even consider it on the first meeting. ---
**Author:** ![gwendee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/35a633/32.png) [@gwendee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gwendee)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2012, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-bring-a-flower-if-yes-what-kind/617718/22 "2012-04-03T21:58:21Z")
> [@MannyL](#): > > We are going to a comedy show. ( Part of me hopes she is a not a Doper so she doesn’t see this thread) But if she is, and she does, and brings YOU a flower that would be kind of great. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2012, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-bring-a-flower-if-yes-what-kind/617718/23 "2012-04-03T22:03:46Z")
> [@DCnDC](#): > > What they said. I’ve asked this question of many of the women I know, and they’ve all said the same thing: when you give a woman flowers, the first thing she thinks is, “Oh, that’s sweet!” but the _second_ thing she thinks is, “Great, now I have to carry this thing around with me all night.” Well, the flower-in-the-hair thing looks great with the right woman (and the right flower), but that’s a bit much for the first date. However, the great first-date conundrum is how you will recognize each other. Assuming you’re meeting in a public place, you (the OP) might take a purple flower and leave it on the table so she’ll recognize you. You can offer to let her keep the flower or not as the date progresses. ---
**Author:** ![ZenBeam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/3ab097/32.png) [@ZenBeam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZenBeam)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2012, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-bring-a-flower-if-yes-what-kind/617718/24 "2012-04-03T23:34:19Z")
_Other_: Two dozen roses and a diamond tennis bracelet. Actually, I voted yes, but after reading how many people said no, I’d change my vote if I could. I don’t see what’s wrong with it personally, but go with the social norms on a first date. ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2012, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-bring-a-flower-if-yes-what-kind/617718/25 "2012-04-03T23:48:12Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > However, the great first-date conundrum is how you will recognize each other. I assume that their online dating profiles included pictures, and/or that they have exchanged photos…but I could be wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2012, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-bring-a-flower-if-yes-what-kind/617718/26 "2012-04-03T23:57:01Z")
> [@Misnomer](#): > > I assume that their online dating profiles included pictures, and/or that they have exchanged photos…but I could be wrong. True, but it’s never quite the same as seeing someone in person. I’ve done this a couple times[sup]\*[/sup], and I hate the looking-around-trying-to-figure-out-who-I’m-meeting thing. It’s good to have a specific plan. - With my luck, I’d stop by the florist on the way and they’d be out of purple flowers. ---
**Author:** ![MannyL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@MannyL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MannyL)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2012, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-bring-a-flower-if-yes-what-kind/617718/27 "2012-04-04T00:19:34Z")
> [@gwendee](#): > > But if she is, and she does, and brings YOU a flower that would be kind of great. That would be amazing and funny. > [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > Well, the flower-in-the-hair thing looks great with the right woman (and the right flower), but that’s a bit much for the first date. > > However, the great first-date conundrum is how you will recognize each other. Assuming you’re meeting in a public place, you (the OP) might take a purple flower and leave it on the table so she’ll recognize you. You can offer to let her keep the flower or not as the date progresses. No conundrum the venue has an outside patio. I told her I would be on it and what color pants I’d be wearing. I told her to look for the guy who is looking for someone in the crowd. > [@Misnomer](#): > > I assume that their online dating profiles included pictures, and/or that they have exchanged photos…but I could be wrong. Correct we have exchanged recent photos (and she thinks I’m cute) > [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > True, but it’s never quite the same as seeing someone in person. I’ve done this a couple times[sup]\*[/sup], and I hate the looking-around-trying-to-figure-out-who-I’m-meeting thing. It’s good to have a specific plan. > > - With my luck, I’d stop by the florist on the way and they’d be out of purple flowers. Hopefully our plan works and if not I can text her so we can find each other. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2012, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-bring-a-flower-if-yes-what-kind/617718/28 "2012-04-04T00:24:06Z")
> [@MannyL](#): > > That would be amazing and funny. Now I kind of wish I \*was \*the date! But, alas for our hypothetical affair, I’m quite happily off the market. I hope the same may be said for you soonish. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2012, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-bring-a-flower-if-yes-what-kind/617718/29 "2012-04-04T00:45:22Z")
No flowers. Act natural. Not needy, clingy or crazy. There is time for that later. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2012, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-bring-a-flower-if-yes-what-kind/617718/30 "2012-04-04T01:15:38Z")
> [@MannyL](#): > > No conundrum the venue has an outside patio. I told her I would be on it and what color pants I’d be wearing. I told her to look for the guy who is looking for someone in the crowd. Good plan. My advice on such matters is probably best ignored, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![MannyL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@MannyL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MannyL)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2012, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-bring-a-flower-if-yes-what-kind/617718/31 "2012-04-04T02:01:48Z")
Of my female friends that I asked 1 said no flower 5 said yes it’s romantic ---
**Author:** ![brainstall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@brainstall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brainstall)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2012, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-bring-a-flower-if-yes-what-kind/617718/32 "2012-04-04T02:15:57Z")
How many of your female friends are meeting online dates? I haven’t had a lot of dates, but I’ve been on a couple with guys from an online dating site. For me, on the first one, I don’t want a big production, I just want to meet the guy in person and see if we click in real life. If we make it to a second date, then maybe a flower would be sweet, but for the first one, it would make me uncomfortable. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2012, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-bring-a-flower-if-yes-what-kind/617718/33 "2012-04-04T02:27:59Z")
A very strong “no.” One a first date, she hasn’t _done_ anything to warrant a flower- you have no connection yet, no shared memories, nothing. So what a flower on the first date says is “I’m going to pull out all fo the stops because you, as far as I know, most likely are female.” In other words, if you pull out the flower now, it’s not special. It doesn’t mean anything- you aren’t giving it to _her_, as an individual, you are giving it to whatever female happens to show up on the date. That’s not romantic, and it doesn’t come off that way. It comes off as impersonal and uncomfortable. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2012, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-bring-a-flower-if-yes-what-kind/617718/34 "2012-04-04T05:22:26Z")
No flower, for all the reasons above. Once you get to know her, you will probably find out how she feels about flowers, then you can make a much more meaningful gesture - she may love flowers, she may hate flowers, she may be violently allergic to flowers - if things go well, you should know soon. Good luck! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Aeris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a183cd/32.png) [@Aeris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeris)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2012, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-bring-a-flower-if-yes-what-kind/617718/35 "2012-04-04T18:06:11Z")
> [@Balance](#): > > Not surprising, given that you go by “Aeris”. 🙂 Ha! Nice. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2012, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-bring-a-flower-if-yes-what-kind/617718/36 "2012-04-04T18:26:23Z")
You should have a single rose that you carry around all night, sniff pensively while staring into the middle distance, and gesture with elegantly. Also wear knee-high leather boots and a codpiece. Trust me, chicks can’t resist this combination. ---
**Author:** ![Ca3799](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9f8e36/32.png) [@Ca3799](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ca3799)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2012, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-bring-a-flower-if-yes-what-kind/617718/37 "2012-04-04T18:58:14Z")
I would not object to receiving a single purple flower on a first date. I would like it to be one of those dyed daisies. I love those dyed daises, even though they are silly, but they are nice and spring-like. [http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3263/3157002154\_ee6610e564.jpg&imgrefurl=http://foter.com/f/photo/3157002154/ee6610e564/&h=375&w=500&sz=126&tbnid=iX6H2\_KEG5DmsM:&tbnh=107&tbnw=142&prev=/search%3Fq%3Ddyed%2Bdaisies%26tbm%3Disch%26tbo%3Du&zoom=1&q=dyed+daisies&docid=64T3IPEHY7mPGM&hl=en&sa=X&ei=o5l8T8iRFofg2AXA9JDODA&sqi=2&ved=0CC4Q9QEwAQ&dur=820](http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3263/3157002154_ee6610e564.jpg&imgrefurl=http://foter.com/f/photo/3157002154/ee6610e564/&h=375&w=500&sz=126&tbnid=iX6H2_KEG5DmsM:&tbnh=107&tbnw=142&prev=/search%3Fq%3Ddyed%2Bdaisies%26tbm%3Disch%26tbo%3Du&zoom=1&q=dyed+daisies&docid=64T3IPEHY7mPGM&hl=en&sa=X&ei=o5l8T8iRFofg2AXA9JDODA&sqi=2&ved=0CC4Q9QEwAQ&dur=820) You can get a bunch inexpensively at the grocery store, give her the best one, and enjoy the rest yourself or pass them on to your mom, etc. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2012, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-bring-a-flower-if-yes-what-kind/617718/38 "2012-04-04T19:15:11Z")
How about wear a flower in your lapel, give it to her at the end of the date? ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2012, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-bring-a-flower-if-yes-what-kind/617718/39 "2012-04-04T19:21:23Z")
> [@ZenBeam](#): > > _Other_: Two dozen roses and a diamond tennis bracelet. Uh…I’d like to go on a date with you. ---
**Author:** ![JacobSwan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@JacobSwan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JacobSwan)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2012, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-bring-a-flower-if-yes-what-kind/617718/40 "2012-04-04T19:33:07Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > How about wear a flower in your lapel, give it to her at the end of the date? I wear a fresh rose in my lapel every day. I even have a silver lapel vase to keep it fresh, even though I’m not a Belgian detective. I have been known to give it away to a woman at the end of the night if alcohol has been consumed and she made me smile. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-bring-a-flower-if-yes-what-kind/617718.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-bring-a-flower-if-yes-what-kind/617718.md?page=3)