# Should I call out my friend's lack of professionalism? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 21, 2023, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-call-out-my-friends-lack-of-professionalism/994934 "2023-12-21T14:14:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2023, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-call-out-my-friends-lack-of-professionalism/994934/41 "2023-12-22T15:16:06Z")
> [@Akaj](#): > > - She was 25 minutes late to our lunch, despite living less than 15 minutes away. > - While she thanked me in person, she hasn’t folllowed up with a thanks or acknowledgement via email. > - She hasn’t even acknowledged a followup email I sent her, with a link to an article she’d requested. The lateness would bug me. Especially if she did not offer an explanation or call or text about it. That’s your time that she wasted and inconsiderate. I wouldn’t bring it up, unless you meet again. Then ask her to let you know if she is going to be late. I think a follow up email when you sent her info would have been appropriate. ---
**Author:** ![Akaj](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/akaj/32/145_2.png) [@Akaj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Akaj)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2023, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-call-out-my-friends-lack-of-professionalism/994934/42 "2023-12-22T15:32:19Z")
> [@Knowed\_Out](#): > > Odds of anybody hiring her based on your recommendation are tiny. Recommending her for a specific job isn’t really part of the deal – it’s more about introductions and connections that expand the universe of possibilities for her. Finding a job by applying to listings (as you did) happens, but it’s not as effective IME as networking. ---
**Author:** ![carrps](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carrps/32/2957_2.png) [@carrps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrps)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2023, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-call-out-my-friends-lack-of-professionalism/994934/43 "2023-12-22T19:34:09Z")
> [@Knowed\_Out](#): > > As far as #2 goes, there’s a practical reason for not thanking you in email. Email clutter can be a bother, as I might have 15 other projects I’m tracking and don’t need the distraction. I’m old, too, and was pressured into writing thank-you notes in my childhood, so, I’d often send emails that were nothing more than a thank-you. I’ve had more than one person tell me – nicely – to stop doing that. They don’t need the extraneous stuff like that. ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2023, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-call-out-my-friends-lack-of-professionalism/994934/44 "2023-12-22T19:36:44Z")
> [@enipla](#): > > The lateness would bug me. Especially if she did not offer an explanation or call or text about it. There may be extenuating circumstances that she is embarrassed about like depressed over losing her job so hard to get out of bed. Or maybe she is a late person in general but gets to work on time, just not for social events. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2023, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-call-out-my-friends-lack-of-professionalism/994934/45 "2023-12-22T19:38:57Z")
Yeah, people have different (and sometimes strong) opinions on emails to say, “thanks for sending that”. I’ve been in discussions where some participants felt it was rude not to, and others felt it was rude and somewhere self-aggrandizing to send those emails. “My inbox is already cluttered. You think i want a meaningless email from you, about a task I’ve already completed?!” I don’t know that it lines up “old white guys against others”, there were some old white guys on both sides of the last online discussion i had about that. But i know that opinions differ. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2023, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-call-out-my-friends-lack-of-professionalism/994934/46 "2023-12-22T22:52:41Z")
> [@Knowed\_Out](#): > > I know I was relying on my friends network to find work, but I didn’t get any nibbles because I knew somebody. It was my skillset coming up in a resume search that got me lined up for interviews. Odds of anybody hiring her based on your recommendation are tiny. If you are lucky enough to have a skillset that is unique, you’d be fine. But most people know things that a lot of other people know also. If you’ve ever had the pleasure of sorting through a gigantic stack of resumes (after a keyword search) you’d know that a recommendation or contact from someone you trust would put that resume at the top. I hired a lot of new PhDs, both for jobs and as interns, and I used my faculty contacts to get good people. It worked out very well. Hiring is risky. Reducing that risk with someone recommended is often done. Now, that does cause a problem for people not in the in-crowd, and I’ve noticed clusters of people who look the same as the top manager, often not white males in my industry. It’s something we should be sensistive to. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2023, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-call-out-my-friends-lack-of-professionalism/994934/47 "2023-12-22T23:19:04Z")
> [@puzzlegal](#): > > Yeah, people have different (and sometimes strong) opinions on emails to say, “thanks for sending that”. I’ve been in discussions where some participants felt it was rude not to, and others felt it was rude and somewhere self-aggrandizing to send those emails. I conducted an entire meeting about this because emails were getting out of control, and one of the first things to go was “thank you.” We all universally agreed these were more hassle than they were worth. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-call-out-my-friends-lack-of-professionalism/994934.md?page=2)