# Should I cheat on her husband? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 6, 2009, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-cheat-on-her-husband/505490 "2009-08-06T02:07:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Estilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/848f3c/32.png) [@Estilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Estilicon)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-cheat-on-her-husband/505490/1 "2009-08-06T02:07:19Z")
This is the deal. Currently I am in an Master in law course. In that master, I’ve met a girl. Everyone, myself included, concludes that there is something between her and me: I really like her and she, apparently, likes me. The problem is that she is married. Everyone tells me to go for it and that it’s her husband problem (if there is any). She doesn’t have any children and she doesn’t seem to love her husband: in fact one of the things I don’t like about her is that she shows a certain lack of respect for him. Finally, I like her but not love her. I confess that my life is pretty boring, married people (even people in a relationship) have been, so far, off the limits for me, so I need advice. Please tell me your experiences. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-cheat-on-her-husband/505490/2 "2009-08-06T02:11:34Z")
You wouldn’t be cheating on her husband unless you’re fucking him in an exclusive relationship. You would be risking an ass kicking and/or eternal damnation from said husband and/or various supernatural entities widely believed to exist. I vote you need to find another girl. ---
**Author:** ![SylverOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c0e974/32.png) [@SylverOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SylverOne)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-cheat-on-her-husband/505490/3 "2009-08-06T02:13:28Z")
If she fucks around on him with you, shortly, she will be fucking around on you with someone else. What comes around goes around. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-cheat-on-her-husband/505490/4 "2009-08-06T02:14:14Z")
You wouldn’t be “cheating on her husband”. Cheating implies you have an understanding with the person, whether explicit or implicit. Presumably you have no such agreement with her husband. Doesn’t mean he won’t still beat you with a tire iron if he finds out. On preview: **Oakminster** basically said the same thing. ---
**Author:** ![Markxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@Markxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Markxxx)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-cheat-on-her-husband/505490/5 "2009-08-06T02:16:16Z")
> [@Estilicon](#): > > This is the deal. Currently I am in an Master in law course. In that master, I’ve met a girl. Everyone, myself included, concludes that there is something between her and me: I really like her and she, apparently, likes me. Wow this bring new meaning to the phrase “Group dating” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-cheat-on-her-husband/505490/6 "2009-08-06T02:16:20Z")
> [@Estilicon](#): > > This is the deal. Currently I am in an Master in law course. In that master, I’ve met a girl. Everyone, myself included, concludes that there is something between her and me: I really like her and she, apparently, likes me. > The problem is that she is married. > Everyone tells me to go for it and that it’s her husband problem (if there is any). She doesn’t have any children and she doesn’t seem to love her husband: in fact one of the things I don’t like about her is that **she shows a certain lack of respect for him.** > Finally, I like her but not love her. > I confess that my life is pretty boring, married people (even people in a relationship) have been, so far, off the limits for me, so I need advice. > Please tell me your experiences. This is someone you want a relationship with? Someone who’s made a promise and is willing to break it? Do you think she would be any more faithful to you? How do you know you’re not just one of a series of affairs? ---
**Author:** ![Cunctator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/43a26b/32.png) [@Cunctator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cunctator)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-cheat-on-her-husband/505490/7 "2009-08-06T02:16:38Z")
Hmmm…adultery. Great idea. Of course you shouldn’t. ---
**Author:** ![PeskiPiksi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e495f1/32.png) [@PeskiPiksi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PeskiPiksi)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-cheat-on-her-husband/505490/8 "2009-08-06T02:16:53Z")
Married people are off-limits. Period. No, you have no obligation to him. But you do have an obligation to yourself to be a decent person. Decent people do not participate in adulterous affairs. Besides, do you really want to be with someone who would cheat on her husband? ---
**Author:** ![Jettboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/85e7bf/32.png) [@Jettboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jettboy)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-cheat-on-her-husband/505490/9 "2009-08-06T02:18:01Z")
Would it make you feel guilty? If _you_ were the married guy and found out someone was doing the horizontal mambo with _your_ wife, how do you imagine you’d feel about it? ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-cheat-on-her-husband/505490/10 "2009-08-06T02:19:18Z")
Good Lord. The answer to “Should [anyone] cheat?,” no matter with or on whom, is ALWAYS no. You have to ask this? ---
**Author:** ![Estilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/848f3c/32.png) [@Estilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Estilicon)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-cheat-on-her-husband/505490/11 "2009-08-06T02:21:57Z")
> [@Scarlett67](#): > > Good Lord. The answer to “Should [anyone] cheat?,” no matter with or on whom, is ALWAYS no. You have to ask this? Yes. I need to hear the voice of sanity and since my friends, so far, have been unable to provide it. I came begging for advice from my virtual ones. ::group hug:: ---
**Author:** ![raspberry\_hunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b19c9b/32.png) [@raspberry\_hunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raspberry_hunter)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-cheat-on-her-husband/505490/12 "2009-08-06T02:25:24Z")
> [@Estilicon](#): > > The problem is that she is married. > Everyone tells me to go for it and that it’s her husband problem (if there is any). Who are these people, and what planet do they live on?? I think you need to get some new friends. (Are any of them married? It occurs to me, on trying to be a trifle more understanding of how anyone could hold that point of view, that if they have no idea what marriage is all about they might just not get it.) ---
**Author:** ![Estilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/848f3c/32.png) [@Estilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Estilicon)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-cheat-on-her-husband/505490/13 "2009-08-06T02:29:42Z")
> [@raspberry\_hunter](#): > > Who are these people, and what planet do they live on?? I think you need to get some new friends. In this one and we are all in our middle or late twenties. Not that young anymore but still, it seems, pretty stupid. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-cheat-on-her-husband/505490/14 "2009-08-06T02:41:02Z")
I think the sentence you were looking for is: Should I cuckold her husband? I’d say just the fact that you phrased your question from her husband’s point of view shows that you do not think you should be doing this. You, personally, really want to hold out for something better than this. You have an idea of what the right kind of relationship is for you, and you don’t want to be in the middle of whatever drama this would turn out to be when you finally meet Ms. Right. Even if this was a good idea, and I really don’t think it is, it would be the wrong thing for you. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-cheat-on-her-husband/505490/15 "2009-08-06T02:45:29Z")
> [@Estilicon](#): > > In this one and we are all in our middle or late twenties. Not that young anymore but still, it seems, pretty stupid. Sadly, my generation has to be kind to yours, for you will choose our nursing homes. I want one with the NFL and college football cable packages. ---
**Author:** ![Markxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@Markxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Markxxx)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-cheat-on-her-husband/505490/16 "2009-08-06T02:50:59Z")
Reminds me of a scene from the _Partridge Family_. Keith interrrupts a date Reuben Kincaid is having with his his lady friend Bonnie Kleinschmitt. Keith) You see, I asked this really nice girl out, but then I got a chance to go out with this other girl who is really hot. Reuben) That’s easy, dump the nice one and go out with the hot one. Bonnie) How can you say that? Keith you go out with the nice one, that’s the right thing to do. Reuben) He KNOWS what is the right thing to do. He came here to get permission to do the WRONG thing ---
**Author:** ![Valgard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/7feea3/32.png) [@Valgard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Valgard)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-cheat-on-her-husband/505490/17 "2009-08-06T05:48:46Z")
No, you should absolutely not carry on with a married woman. Here are a few reasons: a. You may feel like an absolute shit later for willingly participating in the betrayal of two peoples’ trust. b. You may feel completely fine with it later in which case you are, to use an older phrase, an utter cad. c. She may regret it later and take it out on you. d. Her husband may (will) find out and it’ll wreck him. e. Her husband may decide to settle this in one or more of a variety of ways, including but not limited to smearing your name all over the place (to be quite blunt, there is no piece of ass worth sacrificing your reputation over), beating the holy hell out of you or coming by with a gun to discuss things. There are other reasons. These happen to be some that I have seen or experienced more closely than I’d like to. If your friends don’t see anything wrong, can’t think of any negative consequences and not one of them is willing to tell you to stay the fuck away from her they have all got a great deal of growing up to do. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-cheat-on-her-husband/505490/18 "2009-08-06T05:53:17Z")
The opinion I have of the men that tried to sleep with my, now ex, wife is pretty low. The marriage is in trouble so it’s OK to sleep with her = KICK HIM HE"S DOWN! ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-cheat-on-her-husband/505490/19 "2009-08-06T06:01:55Z")
How would you feel if the situation were reversed? ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-cheat-on-her-husband/505490/20 "2009-08-06T06:02:34Z")
> [@Estilicon](#): > > Everyone, myself included, concludes that there is something between her and me Good to know you’re being discreet. Also, this is the second cheating thread in 24 hours, and another poster is getting a divorce. Is it the full moon? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-cheat-on-her-husband/505490.md?page=2)