# Should I de-friend wingnuts? (FB etiquette question) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 19, 2012, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-de-friend-wingnuts-fb-etiquette-question/644563 "2012-12-19T19:52:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Moonchild](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@Moonchild](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonchild)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2012, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-de-friend-wingnuts-fb-etiquette-question/644563/1 "2012-12-19T19:52:44Z")
How do you handle Facebook “friends” who post mostly political links or “statements” bashing anything that goes against their party line? I lean to the left for the most part, so naturally I get irked by what I’ll call the Fox News crowd. (My lefty FB friends don’t much climb the soapbox and those that do I, well, mostly agree with them. But I never chime in.) I have really tried to just ackowledge these friends’ freedom to express and “get over it,” but I just find myself getting really irked. Might be because I don’t engage in political posts and sorely want to – although I know it will only put me more in the red (pun intended). I generally enjoy Facebook for its light entertainment and the opportunity to keep in touch. And besides their political jabbing, I don’t really have a problem with these people. And when there is a reunion or gathering of some sort (and my 30th is next summer), it’s nice to mingle as political opinions generally get put aside. Does anyone else face this conundrum? I come from a middle class white suburb in Southern California and there seem to be a fair share of my high school’s graduates on the Fox News/Tea Party/Dems-are-stoopid bandwagon. The school is also, for a lack of better wording, pretty dumb; had the lowest test scores in our area, which included quite a few schools with a much lower SES. (And yes, I think there’s a correlation to the political point of view being taken by many of these people.) There’s also an ex-coworker who posts about 10 rants a day. But he has close ties to someone who could help me in an employment scenario, so I’m certainlty going to put up with that. Darn it. ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2012, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-de-friend-wingnuts-fb-etiquette-question/644563/2 "2012-12-19T19:54:29Z")
Make them defriend you. Post contrary opinions and call them out on their bullshit at every opportunity. ---
**Author:** ![Covered\_In\_Bees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Covered\_In\_Bees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covered_In_Bees)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2012, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-de-friend-wingnuts-fb-etiquette-question/644563/3 "2012-12-19T19:56:49Z")
Just defriend them for fuck’s sake. Or set your feed settings to never show their posts. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2012, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-de-friend-wingnuts-fb-etiquette-question/644563/4 "2012-12-19T19:57:35Z")
I misread this as “Should I deep fry wingnuts?” Yes, and yes. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2012, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-de-friend-wingnuts-fb-etiquette-question/644563/5 "2012-12-19T19:58:02Z")
This is the second Facebook-related thread today in which I ask, why do you need to do anything? What’s it to you what other people post on Facebook? I check Facebook every once in a while and never feel the need to respond to what anyone else has posted. Maybe I don’t know how to use Facebook? ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2012, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-de-friend-wingnuts-fb-etiquette-question/644563/6 "2012-12-19T20:07:01Z")
If you are too afraid to defriend them, then hide them from your news feed. I have some friends that are just annoying - they get hid. Then I still get to wish them a happy birthday. There have been several folks I’ve defriended because of things they say, though. I do not wish to wish them a happy birthday. One time someone called me out on it (she somehow noticed I’d defriended her) and I told her “I’d rather remember you as we were when we were kids together, not as a political stance I strongly disagree with.” ---
**Author:** ![Moonchild](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@Moonchild](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonchild)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2012, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-de-friend-wingnuts-fb-etiquette-question/644563/7 "2012-12-19T20:08:05Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > This is the second Facebook-related thread today in which I ask, why do you need to do anything? What’s it to you what other people post on Facebook? And I think on some level, this is the core of it. I genuinely want to unload _so badly_ but I also know I have right-leaning FB friends that I like and respect that are going to be offended and therefore risk damaging real friendships. It’s kinda like how you are supposed to avoid religion and politics at the dinner table – this feels sorta like that. (A guideline my father-in-the-law completely blows off after his second scotch and I am left to stew.) ---
**Author:** ![Moonchild](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@Moonchild](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonchild)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2012, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-de-friend-wingnuts-fb-etiquette-question/644563/8 "2012-12-19T20:11:13Z")
> [@ZipperJJ](#): > > If you are too afraid to defriend them, then hide them from your news feed. I’d forgotten about this. :smack: Yes. ---
**Author:** ![stpauler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@stpauler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stpauler)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2012, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-de-friend-wingnuts-fb-etiquette-question/644563/9 "2012-12-19T20:11:17Z")
I just had this situation happen this week. I have a friend from college and we got along back then…twenty years ago really. Well, in the interim, he’s taken the derp train straight to Dipshit station and has stayed there since. Last week we got into a long drawn out discussion where I had to repeatedly point out that there is a huge difference between weak and strong atheism and that his opinion solely encompassed the later and not all atheist. It was frustrating but hey, he’s a friend so I thought I could use reason. I’ll put the details in spoilers so it doesn’t turn this into an off-topic debate: [spoiler]Fast forward to Monday night. He posted this link:[Active shooters in schools: The enemy is denial](http://www.policeone.com/active-shooter/articles/2058168-Active-shooters-in-schools-The-enemy-is-denial/) and I proceeded to poke holes into the article. > [@](#): > > Grossman said (and most cops agree) that many of the most important things we can do to protect our kids would cost us nothing or next-to-nothing. > > Deter — Put police officers in schools, because with just one officer assigned to a school, the probability of a mass murder in that school drops to almost zero. I pointed out that putting officers in every school is going to cost more than nothing or next-to-nothing and that the probability of a mass murder in any school is almost zero right now anyways. I had a couple other points that I made that I don’t quite remember. [/spoiler] After one of his friends agreed with my points, my friend said “Oh, just ignore **stpauler** , he likes to rant and rave on”. My reply? “Fuck you, dude” and then I defriended him. Yeah, so don’t get to that point if you can avoid it. Just hide all of their posts. I don’t really regret saying that nor do I regret defriending him. He’s obviously in his needed bubble where things can’t penetrate things he believe are facts but are just poorly substantiated opinions. ---
**Author:** ![Moonchild](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@Moonchild](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonchild)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2012, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-de-friend-wingnuts-fb-etiquette-question/644563/10 "2012-12-19T20:14:18Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#): > > Make them defriend you. Post contrary opinions and call them out on their bullshit at every opportunity. But I hafta say, at my core, this feels like it would be the most satisfying. I must admit there is a big disconnect between what I feel like doing and what my so-called wisdom dictates. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2012, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-de-friend-wingnuts-fb-etiquette-question/644563/11 "2012-12-19T20:25:34Z")
A few years back the wingnut wife of a friend would post the craziest shit on FB _and_ send on chain emails. At one point I responded by posting a rant about “stupid people who believe this shit” and what was patently false about it on my FB page. Without naming any names. I’m sure 80% of my friends had no idea what I was on about, so I’m lucky I didn’t cause any issues with them. This isn’t something I would do again, even if it was particularly effective in embarassing this one person and getting her to dial it back. Don’t necessarily recommend this path unless most of your friends are also friends with the nutjobs. And if a significant number ARE those nutjobs, don’t worry, they’ll unfriend YOU. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2012, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-de-friend-wingnuts-fb-etiquette-question/644563/12 "2012-12-19T20:32:21Z")
> [@Moonchild](#): > > But I hafta say, at my core, this feels like it would be the most satisfying. I must admit there is a big disconnect between what I feel like doing and what my so-called wisdom dictates. Drink lots, log into Facebook and see what happens. ---
**Author:** ![Moonchild](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@Moonchild](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonchild)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2012, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-de-friend-wingnuts-fb-etiquette-question/644563/13 "2012-12-19T20:38:50Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > Drink lots, log into Facebook and see what happens. Ha! I would probably just end up surfing porn and get nowhere near Facebook. ---
**Author:** ![Sahirrnee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sahirrnee/32/13937_2.png) [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2012, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-de-friend-wingnuts-fb-etiquette-question/644563/14 "2012-12-19T21:23:58Z")
I ignore the stuff I don’t like which is 99% of what I see posted anyway. If I unfriended everybody I didn’t agree with or who plucks my nerves I’d have no friends left. I don’t want to see religious stuff, political stuff, sports stuff, and who won whatever internet game. However I am more than happy to see the little jokes and read about who’s pregnant, getting married, graduating, moving, etc. ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2012, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-de-friend-wingnuts-fb-etiquette-question/644563/15 "2012-12-19T21:47:31Z")
Hide the posts. Don’t let idiots take up residence in your head. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2012, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-de-friend-wingnuts-fb-etiquette-question/644563/16 "2012-12-19T21:53:49Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#): > > Make them defriend you. Post contrary opinions and call them out on their bullshit at every opportunity. Yup. Just ask them for cites for their claims and point out when the are mistaken. You really only have to do it once or twice. ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2012, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-de-friend-wingnuts-fb-etiquette-question/644563/17 "2012-12-19T21:57:44Z")
Its a good thing I pretty much only use my FB for games. Though that’s probably even more annoying to some people… ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2012, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-de-friend-wingnuts-fb-etiquette-question/644563/18 "2012-12-19T22:17:40Z")
Just hide their newsfeeds if they annoy you. I’ve done this to three people. One was a friend from childhood who posted right wing crap, one was a friend-of-a-friend who was constantly posting left-wing stuff. The third was just posting too much junk in general and eating up space on my front page. I’ve only actually defriended one person, and that was because he was an asshole to me IRL. ---
**Author:** ![Merneith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/57b2e6/32.png) [@Merneith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merneith)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2012, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-de-friend-wingnuts-fb-etiquette-question/644563/19 "2012-12-19T22:32:25Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > Yup. Just ask them for cites for their claims and point out when the are mistaken. You really only have to do it once or twice. It’s like training your friends not to send you glurge mails. If you do it right the first time, they will stop sending you stupid chain letters, everybody can check their mail in peace. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2012, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-de-friend-wingnuts-fb-etiquette-question/644563/20 "2012-12-19T22:58:23Z")
I suppose I’ll be the contrarian. I have friends of all political stripes on my Facebook-- liberal, conservative, religious, atheists. I like having discussions with all of these folks and getting a nice wide view on any given political issue. That said, I’ve got an incredibly low tolerance for stupid. The guy who posted a graphic on election night (after results were called) that said, “By ballot or bullet, we’ll take back our country!” and in the comments, he and his friends were saying they wanted to “shoot that nigger HUSSEIN!”? Yeah. He got deleted. The religious nut who posted that anyone who uses birth control is a WHORE and BABY KILLER!!! Yeah, she too was deleted. I deleted anybody who openly proclaimed Tea Party affiliation, because they constantly were posting bass akwards stuff that was dangerously close to racist, if not just completely, factually wrong. If you say anything a little bit racist, overtly sexist, or just straight up ignorant, I’ll delete you. Now, you’d think my Facebook would be a place devoid of discussions by this, but again-- I have friends from all up and down the political spectrum. . . they just know how to discuss things like adults. So, if these folks seem like the derps I described and not the normal, disagreeing adults, I say delete them. Ain’t nobody got time for all that frustration. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-de-friend-wingnuts-fb-etiquette-question/644563.md?page=2)