# Should I discourage my friend from suicide? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [September 10, 2001, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-discourage-my-friend-from-suicide/80694 "2001-09-10T16:22:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![justinh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc29f/32.png) [@justinh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/justinh)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2001, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-discourage-my-friend-from-suicide/80694/1 "2001-09-10T16:22:36Z")
If a friend was contemplating blowing his head off, should I advise him on what caliber pistol to use? or do anything I could to keep him from doing it? If I refuse to answer and he goes elsewhere for the knowledge then am I better off that if I had given him the right caliber? If I suggests a certain caliber and he uses it then am I contributing? He doesn’t want to die he just wants to play russian roulette because he loves the thrill. but if he does “lose” then he doesn’t want to be left a vegtable. He calls it his choice on leisure activity and I call it suicide. ---
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2001, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-discourage-my-friend-from-suicide/80694/2 "2001-09-10T16:26:14Z")
This is outside the parameters of a great debate, but how old are you and your friend? Unless we were talking about someone in the end stages of a painful terminal illness, I would refuse to advise a friend on suicide methods. I would ask the friend what is so thrilling about Russian Roulette. I would talk to a counselor, family, friends, and do everything in my power to get this friend into therapy. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2001, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-discourage-my-friend-from-suicide/80694/3 "2001-09-10T16:30:48Z")
Russian Roulette is LEISURE? Cripes, I think it’s a good way to clean out your bowels. ---
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2001, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-discourage-my-friend-from-suicide/80694/4 "2001-09-10T17:01:38Z")
> [@](#): > > Unless we were talking about someone in the end stages of a painful terminal illness, I would refuse to advise a friend on suicide methods. It’s not even noon on Monday, and I’m already quoting myself. I want to say, even if this were the case for my friend - terminal illness, pain, etc. - I would still encourage the person to talk to doctors, family, friends, counselors and see about pain management techniques. Your friend has some major issues, justin, and laughing it off as “leisure” or thrill-seeking is scary. You are right to think that it’s suicidal behavior. Please talk to someone about it, okay? ---
**Author:** ![Fionn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Fionn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fionn)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2001, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-discourage-my-friend-from-suicide/80694/5 "2001-09-10T17:08:14Z")
If a friend of mine were comtemplating shooting himself for any reason, I would do my best to talk him out of it. This would include removing the gun and having him confined, if that’s what it took. Would Russian Roulette with blanks just not be scary enough? ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Billy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4af34b/32.png) [@Mr.Billy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Billy)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2001, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-discourage-my-friend-from-suicide/80694/6 "2001-09-10T17:21:45Z")
The correct answer to the question, “Should I discourage my friend from suicide?” is YES. ---
**Author:** ![justinh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc29f/32.png) [@justinh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/justinh)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2001, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-discourage-my-friend-from-suicide/80694/7 "2001-09-10T18:01:30Z")
well actually this is " should I discourage my friend from doing something that I think is suicide and he thinks is “his right”. suicide was my definition. he is not doing the activity to kill himself. he just wants to have fun ---
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2001, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-discourage-my-friend-from-suicide/80694/8 "2001-09-10T18:19:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by justinh \* > \*\*well actually this is " should I discourage my friend from doing something that I think is suicide and he thinks is “his right”. > \*\* Well…both are true…it is his right, and it is suicide. I think a friend would seek professional help for someone who was seriously contemplating russian roulette as a leisure activity ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2001, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-discourage-my-friend-from-suicide/80694/9 "2001-09-10T18:23:53Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by **Ballybay** _ > > Would Russian Roulette with blanks just not be scary enough? Sure it would, since you can also die from point-blank firing of blanks - see one of the Lee boys and the actor with the hair from that 80’s television show. [sub]Yeah, yeah, cites, I know, I’m lazy, it’s Monday, give me a break, you all know who I’m talking about.[/sub] Esprix ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2001, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-discourage-my-friend-from-suicide/80694/10 "2001-09-10T18:25:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Esprix \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > _Originally posted by **Ballybay** _ > > > > Would Russian Roulette with blanks just not be scary enough? > > Sure it would, since you can also die from point-blank firing of blanks - see one of the Lee boys and the actor with the hair from that 80’s television show. [sub]Yeah, yeah, cites, I know, I’m lazy, it’s Monday, give me a break, you all know who I’m talking about.[/sub] > > Esprix \*\* of course you mean the gorgeous, talented and dead Jon Erik Hexum ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2001, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-discourage-my-friend-from-suicide/80694/11 "2001-09-10T19:27:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Esprix \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > _Originally posted by **Ballybay** _ > > > > Would Russian Roulette with blanks just not be scary enough? > > Sure it would, since you can also die from point-blank firing of blanks - see one of the Lee boys and the actor with the hair from that 80’s television show. [sub]Yeah, yeah, cites, I know, I’m lazy, it’s Monday, give me a break, you all know who I’m talking about.[/sub] > > Esprix \*\* In lieu of having that answer I’ll say, “Brandon Lee” Anyway, I don’t think there is anything inherently wrong with suicide. The Japanese consider it very honorable. However it sounds like this is a kid that needs attention and wants help, so I would say try and help him. Though I have given people advice on what to do if they truly ARE serious and that seemed to be cathartic for them at times. Erek ---
**Author:** ![Jibby7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/65b543/32.png) [@Jibby7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jibby7)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2001, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-discourage-my-friend-from-suicide/80694/12 "2001-09-10T22:08:29Z")
More of a wondering statement here than cited evidence, but can’t you be held legally liable by recommending anything to someone who is going to play Russian Roulette, particularly if you are recommending something MORE LETHAL? Could this fall within manslaughter? ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2001, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-discourage-my-friend-from-suicide/80694/13 "2001-09-10T22:28:56Z")
not long ago, one of my friends was desperately suicidal, she had attempted suicide and was now being watched around the clock by friends and family, she told me that she intended to pretend to recover, then when their guard was dropped, she would slip away and quietly do the deed using some tranquilisers she had stashed away. All of my efforts to persuade her failed, all of my attempts to show her that there might be hope on the horizon fell on stony ground. I told her husband of her plan, I told him to search for the pills. She hated me for it and attacked me with enormous venom. She’s now on the road to recovery, starting to enjoy life again and is now grateful that I intervened in the way I did. ---
**Author:** ![dalovindj](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/65b543/32.png) [@dalovindj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dalovindj)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2001, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-discourage-my-friend-from-suicide/80694/14 "2001-09-10T22:37:55Z")
I’d go with a .357 Magnum. A .38 would do the trick most times, but I’ve heard storys about guys taking one of these to the head and living. A .45 is better than a .38, but again, I’ve heard stories of .45 shells glancing off of someones skull. I’ve never heard of anyone surviving a .357 to the head. Oh, and your friend is a retard (no offense to mentally handicapped folks out there). This reminds me of an old comic I saw in Mad magazine. 6 guys in a row sitting in chairs. They start a game of Russian Roulette. The guys closest to the gun look nervous. The rest, espeically the last guy, look relieved they are not first. It proceeds down the line with everyone who is getting closer getting more nervous, and everyone who has done it looking very relieved. It finally get’s to the last guy who has gone from looking like he was on top of the world, to knowing he is about to die. In the last frame, instead of shooting himself, he turns the gun and shoots the guy behind him and the bullet travels through all 5 of the other peoples heads. Now that’s comedy. DaLovin’Dj ---
**Author:** ![Fionn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Fionn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fionn)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2001, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-discourage-my-friend-from-suicide/80694/15 "2001-09-10T22:45:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Esprix \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > _Originally posted by **Ballybay** _ > > > > Would Russian Roulette with blanks just not be scary enough? > > Sure it would, since you can also die from point-blank firing of blanks - see one of the Lee boys and the actor with the hair from that 80’s television show. [sub]Yeah, yeah, cites, I know, I’m lazy, it’s Monday, give me a break, you all know who I’m talking about.[/sub] > > Esprix \*\* I remembered the Brandon Lee case when I answered, but I don’t have any handy stats on death by blanks. Would this still not be preferable to an actual bullet in the head? IIRC correctly, Brandon Lee didn’t die as a direct result of being shot with a blank. According to the TV newsmagazine that ran a few years ago, he died because blanks and dummy bullets had been fashioned out of real bullets and used in the same gun. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2001, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-discourage-my-friend-from-suicide/80694/16 "2001-09-10T22:48:34Z")
i agree with mangetout. if this person is your friend, show them something more fun than russian roulette. take them to the ballgame, or get them laid-- anything other than playing with guns. its a big world out there and something for everyone. some folks need help finding thier “thing”. death sucks (just ask any dead person) if your friend wants to try something REALLY exciting, why not get into motorcycle racing? very dangerous- could get you killed just as quick, but when you do it right (and, often when you dont!) man, is it a THRILL! RIDE SAFE, HAVE FUN, LEARN TO LIVE WITHOUT THE GUN! ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2001, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-discourage-my-friend-from-suicide/80694/17 "2001-09-10T22:53:05Z")
Slightly shocked British (i.e. not gun-hardened) Doper here… So your friend has so little regard for his life that he’d risk it in a game of chance with (I’d say) not very favourable odds? Does he have equally poor regard for the lives of those around him?, if so, I’d be very concerned about what else he might fancy doing with that gun when he’s bored. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2001, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-discourage-my-friend-from-suicide/80694/18 "2001-09-10T23:28:58Z")
Not to be a cynic, but you’re not trying to make a thinly veiled “no condoms in school” argument here, are you? ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2001, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-discourage-my-friend-from-suicide/80694/19 "2001-09-11T04:32:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jibby7 \* > \*\*More of a wondering statement here than cited evidence, but can’t you be held legally liable by recommending anything to someone who is going to play Russian Roulette, particularly if you are recommending something MORE LETHAL? > Could this fall within manslaughter? \*\* I suppose it could, but who’s gonna tell? Anyhow, what I was referring to was more of a, ‘This is how you can tell whether you are really serious or not.’, or ‘slitting your wrists is a pretty bad way to go, there are easier ways.’ kind of approach. Erek ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2001, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-discourage-my-friend-from-suicide/80694/20 "2001-09-11T06:38:42Z")
If this guy truly wants to kill himself and your only question is “what caliber gun should I advise him to use,” I have to wonder why you’re even bothering to ask us the question at all. Oh, and here are two fun fun facts for you: The “winner” of Russian Roulette can be charged with Murder 1. You can be charged with accessory to murder. Maybe that will provide some incentive to at least _attempt_ to do the right thing. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-discourage-my-friend-from-suicide/80694.md?page=2)