# Should i dump my girlfirend **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 20, 2006, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-dump-my-girlfirend/365391 "2006-07-20T21:16:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![DooWahDiddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9bcb4/32.png) [@DooWahDiddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DooWahDiddy)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2006, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-dump-my-girlfirend/365391/41 "2006-07-21T04:08:44Z")
> [@Dag Otto](#): > > That was my first thought. Then I read **Doctor Who’s** post and now I’m on the fence. Well that’s just because **Doctor Who** is a good writer. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2006, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-dump-my-girlfirend/365391/42 "2006-07-21T04:27:26Z")
Dump her now. Not just because she is making you miserable, but because the longer you stay with her when you know you are unhappy and the more she invests in you during that time, the more she will resent you for wasting her time on a relationship when you know it isn’t something you want. She could be out meeting men that are perfect for her, taking classes, being happy by herself, and she is giving all of that up hoping that her relationship with you will heal and she can be with the man she loves. And on top of that, think of all you could be doing with yourself if you weren’t with her. Playing video games with your friends, learning to spell, etc. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2006, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-dump-my-girlfirend/365391/43 "2006-07-21T04:54:04Z")
> [@Faruiza](#): > > The only thing that balances my hostility is the pleasant surprise the “Guest” label is when I read something unexpected. A good example of surprising guests are **gabriela** and **Oakminster**. Aw, shucks _blush_ For the OP, if you have a massive karmic debt…say you were a Nazi in a previous life, or encouraged the blasphemy that was Leonard “Spock” Nimoy singing _Proud Mary_, then you may as well marry the gal. Otherwise, not so much. ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2006, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-dump-my-girlfirend/365391/44 "2006-07-21T04:56:13Z")
Spock, sure, but what about launching William Shatner’s musical career? Would that count? ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Who](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Doctor\_Who](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Who)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2006, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-dump-my-girlfirend/365391/45 "2006-07-21T05:01:28Z")
> [@DooWahDiddy](#): > > Well that’s just because **Doctor Who** is a good writer. 😉 Wow, thanks **DooWahDiddy**! I think I just blushed. All over! ---
**Author:** ![Sierra\_Indigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Sierra\_Indigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sierra_Indigo)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2006, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-dump-my-girlfirend/365391/46 "2006-07-21T05:24:32Z")
> [@yedi](#): > > \ i cannot leave hir \ There’s your problem. Them hermaphrodites sure are addictive, aren’t they? ---
**Author:** ![yedi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/4da419/32.png) [@yedi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yedi)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2006, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-dump-my-girlfirend/365391/47 "2006-07-21T05:36:33Z")
excuse my poor english and writing skills, i am from italy and have poor communication skills in english. ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2006, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-dump-my-girlfirend/365391/48 "2006-07-21T05:46:47Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > For the OP, if you have a massive karmic debt…say you were a Nazi in a previous life, or encouraged the blasphemy that was Leonard “Spock” Nimoy singing _Proud Mary_, then you may as well marry the gal. Otherwise, not so much. There’s a certain kitsch value to what I call “William Shatner Music”, you know. Don’t make me use my copy of _Common People_ or the Shatner version of _Rocketman_ to demonstrate this! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2006, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-dump-my-girlfirend/365391/49 "2006-07-21T05:50:23Z")
I must admit I was pleasantly surprised by _Common People_, partly from the irony of it. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Chao\_Goes\_Mu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_chao_goes_mu/32/3191_2.png) [@The\_Chao\_Goes\_Mu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Chao_Goes_Mu)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2006, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-dump-my-girlfirend/365391/50 "2006-07-21T14:19:23Z")
Great Og **Yedi**! You say you cannot stand her. You say that you are only 20 and obviously not ready to be engaged. She takes you from your friends. Did I mention you cannot stand her? It’s a no brainer my friend. Really. You are worried that you will hurt her if you dump her? Of course she will be hurt, but not hurt nearly as much than if you stay with her and both of you are fecking miserable for the rest of your lives. Get out, move on, live your life, let her live hers. She’ll get over the hurt. Your lives will be the better for it. ---
**Author:** ![Grey\_area](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Grey\_area](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grey_area)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2006, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-dump-my-girlfirend/365391/51 "2006-07-21T14:21:38Z")
Step one: Dumper Step two: Give me her number (I like clingy girls) Step three: ??? Step four: PROFIT! ---
**Author:** ![Grey\_area](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Grey\_area](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grey_area)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2006, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-dump-my-girlfirend/365391/52 "2006-07-21T14:23:05Z")
Step zero: Dump her. Then dumper. Whatever that means… ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Slant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c57346/32.png) [@Mr.Slant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Slant)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2006, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-dump-my-girlfirend/365391/53 "2006-07-21T14:36:37Z")
Ponder how you’d feel if you were single. Ponder how you felt with the woman before. Ponder how you’d feel if you were still with this woman at age 50 and you had 3 kids. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2006, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-dump-my-girlfirend/365391/54 "2006-07-21T14:58:33Z")
You’re from _Italy_ and you don’t have the guts to dump her? That culture’s going to eat you alive, my friend. Move to Sweden or something. ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2006, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-dump-my-girlfirend/365391/55 "2006-07-21T15:04:49Z")
> [@picker](#): > > Burn the Witch!! which for some reason reminds me of: [quote] I’m no witch! I’m your WIFE!{/quote] ---
**Author:** ![dmatsch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3be4f8/32.png) [@dmatsch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dmatsch)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2006, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-dump-my-girlfirend/365391/56 "2006-07-21T17:38:42Z")
> [@yedi](#): > > My case is very intersting indeed. i am dating this girl for 3 years and she wants an engagement from me. but i am only 20 for gods sake and she blames me for being a coward and such. she continueously takes me apart from my friends and forces me to keep my interest on her. i cannot stand her and i cannot leave hir i feel like i am bound to her i know my situation isnot clear but i cannot give any more clues since she is heard of this site and may be reading this. > > should i dump her or sit there and stand the pain forever thinking that she would get her if i dump her… From your vernacular, I’m guessing your’e about 17. Dump her and find someone else. At your age, nobody is worth that kind of grief. ---
**Author:** ![dmatsch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3be4f8/32.png) [@dmatsch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dmatsch)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2006, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-dump-my-girlfirend/365391/57 "2006-07-21T17:41:20Z")
> [@Auntbeast](#): > > And set yourself free. > Honestly, 3 years with someone you dislike this much? And she wants a ring? God, I hate humans… How \*you \*doin’? ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2006, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-dump-my-girlfirend/365391/58 "2006-07-21T18:18:05Z")
> [@yedi](#): > > i feel like i am bound to her Well, that’s your first problem. Find a sharp knife, and cut those ropes. Then see if you can move away from her. If you can’t, then you might as well stay with her. If you can leave her, then say “Addio” and leave without looking back. ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2006, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-dump-my-girlfirend/365391/59 "2006-07-21T18:25:52Z")
Assuming this is not a wind-up (even Italians know how to puncuate :eek: ), I suggest you do break up. But you’re young, so do it gently. Explain you’re not worthy of her. Tell her you’re not ready for a relationship, and you want to spend more time with your friends. (Actually that last one’s not very tactful, but there you go.) ---
**Author:** ![velvetjones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5f9b8f/32.png) [@velvetjones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/velvetjones)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2006, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-dump-my-girlfirend/365391/60 "2006-07-21T18:40:19Z")
I was engaged to my firsts husband when I was nineteen and we got married just a few months shy of my 20th birthday. At the time I was sure it’s what I wanted and that we would live “happily ever after”. Now that I’m older and married for the third time let me assure you that you do not want to stay with this girl. And you most certainly don’t want to get married. Break up with her and live your life. Get out there and do exciting things while you’re young and not tied down. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-dump-my-girlfirend/365391.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-dump-my-girlfirend/365391.md?page=4)