# Should I eat this bread?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-eat-this-bread/438787
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [February 22, 2008, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-eat-this-bread/438787 "2008-02-22T22:56:23Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)
#### Post date: [February 22, 2008, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-eat-this-bread/438787/1 "2008-02-22T22:56:23Z")
OK, I know it all sounds a bit silly, but let me explain. First of all: Yes, I should have picked up a basket right away when I entered the supermarket. However, I was only going to pick up a loaf of bread. The decision to also get some salmon, a can of grape juice, chocolate, some rice, some vegetables, some nice cheese and some other stuff was only made later, when I found myself in close proximity to those items. In any case, I’m waiting in the checkout line, clutching all this stuff against my person as best I can, as I’m sans basket, and that’s when the loaf of bread - the one thing I came for in the first place - decides to rebel. I’m not sure how it happened. I suppose I must have had it positioned in just the wrong place, squeezed in between everything else, and maybe I inhaled too deeply just once or something - in any event, that’s when the bread _jumps_ - literally - _out of its paper bag_ - and, well, onto, you know, the floor. The supermarket floor.
Yes, I said it jumped out of the paper bag. I now have one loaf of bread, _as buck naked as when it first came out of the oven_, on the supermarket floor. Houston, we have a problem.
It was only there for a few seconds. With ninja-like reflexes, I rescued it almost instantly after impact. The nice lady behind me helped me maneuver it back it the bag.
Yes, I could have gone back and gotten a different loaf. However, I was waiting in line. It was a long line. I had been waiting a long time. And, yes, I could have stopped by some other store on the way home and bought another one there. However, I couldn’t be arsed. I was tired. I had had a long day at work.
And yes, I could just eat something else. I do have salmon and rice and vegetables and chocolate and some other stuff. But then I’ll have to cook, and right now I can’t be bothered to cook. Yes, I could order pizza, but then I have to _wait_. I’m hungry _now_. I want instant gratification. I just want some bread with some of that nice cheese.
So there it is, Dopers, and the question is… should I eat the bread? What hideous germs will I be infected with if I do? What time tomorrow will I be dead?
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### Author:  [@Audrey\_Levins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Audrey_Levins)
#### Post date: [February 22, 2008, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-eat-this-bread/438787/2 "2008-02-22T23:01:27Z")
If you can recall which side of the bread hit the floor, a case could be made for eating the other side.
If you can’t recall…it is a supermarket floor we’re talking about. Hundreds of shoes and who knows what else trample it daily. If it were my own floor, things might be different.
Let us know if you do eat it, though. Perhaps it will just add flavor.
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### Author:  [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)
#### Post date: [February 22, 2008, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-eat-this-bread/438787/3 "2008-02-22T23:45:48Z")
Cut off the crust and eat the center. Dah. 😉
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### Author:  [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)
#### Post date: [February 22, 2008, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-eat-this-bread/438787/4 "2008-02-22T23:48:56Z")
[QUOTE=Harmonious Discord]
Cut off the crust and eat the center. Dah. 😉
[/QUOTE]
:smack: That might work.
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### Author:  [@Elysium](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elysium)
#### Post date: [February 23, 2008, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-eat-this-bread/438787/5 "2008-02-23T00:08:29Z")
I’d probably eat it. Maybe toast it in the oven to make yourself feel better.
Germs are everywhere, give your immune system a challenge!
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### Author:  [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)
#### Post date: [February 23, 2008, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-eat-this-bread/438787/6 "2008-02-23T00:45:13Z")
Mmmm, buck-naked bread.
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### Author:  [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)
#### Post date: [February 23, 2008, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-eat-this-bread/438787/7 "2008-02-23T00:50:41Z")
Just dust it off and eat it. That’s what I would do. Unless there was something visibly wrong with it.
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### Author:  [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)
#### Post date: [February 23, 2008, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-eat-this-bread/438787/8 "2008-02-23T08:33:46Z")
I had two slices, then I thought the better of it. I think my immune system is pissed off enough as it is - I have a bad head cold. The two slices didn’t kill me, though, at least not so far. I’ve decided to keep the bread to see if anything funny will grow on it.
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### Author:  [@Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bites_When_Provoked)
#### Post date: [February 23, 2008, 9:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-eat-this-bread/438787/9 "2008-02-23T09:09:56Z")
I’d toast it, but I’d eat it. 🙂
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### Author:  [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)
#### Post date: [February 23, 2008, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-eat-this-bread/438787/10 "2008-02-23T12:57:54Z")
If you have to ask, the answer is no.
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### Author:  [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)
#### Post date: [February 23, 2008, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-eat-this-bread/438787/11 "2008-02-23T13:27:39Z")
I’d eat it. Probably toast it first because I’m a wimp that way, but do I honestly think there is anything to worry about? Naahhhh.
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### Author:  [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)
#### Post date: [February 23, 2008, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-eat-this-bread/438787/12 "2008-02-23T14:41:29Z")
Eat it. Even thinking about not is silly.
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### Author:  [@Gary\_T](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_T)
#### Post date: [February 23, 2008, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-eat-this-bread/438787/13 "2008-02-23T15:51:38Z")
If it landed on a wet spot, I’d cut away the portion that was moistened. But if it landed on a dry floor, just brush it off. Probably no more germs there than were already on it.
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### Author:  [@Lsura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lsura)
#### Post date: [February 23, 2008, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-eat-this-bread/438787/14 "2008-02-23T16:59:46Z")
[QUOTE=Peak Banana]
Yes, I said it jumped out of the paper bag. I now have one loaf of bread, _as buck naked as when it first came out of the oven_, on the supermarket floor. Houston, we have a problem.
[/QUOTE]
I figure if you’re buying the stuff that just comes in a paper bag you have to accept that other people have potentially touched the bread itself. Including small children and adults who don’t wash their hands after using the restroom.
Yeah, that’s why I usually make my own bread now. Or one of the reasons anyway.
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### Author:  [@Santo\_Rugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santo_Rugger)
#### Post date: [February 23, 2008, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-eat-this-bread/438787/15 "2008-02-23T17:55:32Z")
Eat it!
My immune system is pretty, well, immune these days, though, so I may be a bit biased.
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### Author:  [@Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angel_of_the_Lord)
#### Post date: [February 23, 2008, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-eat-this-bread/438787/16 "2008-02-23T18:42:31Z")
I’d be more worried about assholes touching the bread in the bag than I would be about it hitting the floor. Not many people wipe their privates with their feet…
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### Author:  [@hawksgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hawksgirl)
#### Post date: [February 23, 2008, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-eat-this-bread/438787/17 "2008-02-23T18:48:36Z")
I’d eat it.
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### Author:  [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)
#### Post date: [February 23, 2008, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-eat-this-bread/438787/18 "2008-02-23T19:09:30Z")
Yet another signpost on the road toward the Singularity.
“I’ll just quickly hop online and poll people from all over the world on whether I should eat this bread.”
Seriously, if the fact that THE BREAD MOVED OF ITS OWN VOLITION doesn’t already deter you, why should a few floor germs? On the other hand, maybe you can get it to move again, in which case you might significantly advance the boundaries of science.
But then if it escapes into the plumbing, it might start breeding in there, and then before too long your kitchen would be infested with bread. This could be good or bad. I guess it all depends on how hungry you are.
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### Author:  [@hawksgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hawksgirl)
#### Post date: [February 23, 2008, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-eat-this-bread/438787/19 "2008-02-23T19:28:15Z")
[QUOTE=Terrifel]
I guess it all depends on how hungry you are.
[/QUOTE]
And how much you like bread. Hint: I like it a lot.
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### Author:  [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)
#### Post date: [February 23, 2008, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-eat-this-bread/438787/20 "2008-02-23T19:31:29Z")
Eat that bread! Teach that bastard who’s boss! Make it serve as an example to all the other loaves. They \*want \*you to not eat it. They _want_ you to let that loaf go free.
You must eat that bread now. Otherwise, the terrorists might win.
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